A hermitudinal view of...stuff...
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| Smeagol is Free! A hermitudinal view of...stuff... |
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2.28.2005 Stinkiness My feet stink, and my socks need washing. But you didn't want to know that. My socks would no doubt protest, at least they would if they could, that playing an intramural game of basketball and several games of volleyball over the course of three and a half hours would do in any pair of socks. Unfortunately, that happened to mine. Poor things. They're sitting next to the keyboard right now. Poor keyboard ;) Tonight I realized how God's been working on my heart. It's actually a culmination of several weeks' worth of God working on my heart...*sigh*...part of me wishes He'd stop working on my heart, but you know what? Where would I be then? I'd be living a big fat lie. Why is that? It's because God often works on my heart and grows me by showing me the lies that I'm believing. Ouch. More later...ice cream beckons :) posted by Bolo | 11:54 PM 0 speakage 2.24.2005 Doh! It's my sister's birthday. I just remembered that (as I clicked on the link, "new post") for the second time today. I'm gonna call her and wish her a happy birthday as I type :) Anyhow...I managed to lose my phone charger the other day. Unfortunately, that means that I couldn't go to bed after getting off of work at 6 a.m. on Wednesday morning. Why is that? Because I had to be in chapel to pass out bulletins and if I went to sleep without my only alarm clock (my phone), there's no way I would've been able to get up. So...if anyone wants to donate a charger...I can return the one I bought for $40 from the Sprint Store. Until then...I'm still searching high and low for my beloved charger...the one that came with my phone...at no additional cost...*sigh*... posted by Bolo | 11:33 PM 2 speakage 2.22.2005 Sidenotes Not a whole lot to say, even though there's a whole lot on my mind. I did tell Scott last night that I feel like a wretch, and it's because God is showing me my wretchedness. It's a good thing, though. Why? It seems as if I'm at the bottom of the barrel, yet God is there with me...He's showing me my wretchedness, but He's there with me to remind me of the truth. *Sigh*... On another note, I miss The Boys. All of 'em...Scott, Andrew, Brian, Rob, Jon, Leeman, Goose, Gary, Chriyus, Mike (we still gotta do Olive Garden), Kev, Jim...yeah...I miss 'em. posted by Bolo | 1:22 PM 0 speakage 2.21.2005 Quick Linkage Mike had to ask me if I was ok when I watched this, 'cause I was laughing a little too hard. I told him I wasn't ;) posted by Bolo | 1:08 AM 0 speakage Study Break? Leftover pizza, ice cream, and cookies definitely constitute Study Break food. However, does eating such items in the mid of night make for a Study Break if one has not yet begun to study? Hmmm...I shall ponder that as I partake ;) posted by Bolo | 12:01 AM 0 speakage 2.20.2005 We Several people were recently on the receiving end of my favorite question: "What's God teaching you?" Jenny...Kimberly...Rob...and several others, I think. I loved hearing their responses; their thoughtful, sober, and geniune answers left me awed at what God does in the hearts of His children. What's more, the lessons they shared encouraged me in ways that I can't capture with words. I heard echoes of pain, of struggle, of confusion. I felt the warmth of their joy, their love, their hope. In what they shared, I was reminded once again that God does not call us to a life of solitude and unknown isolation; He gives us brothers and sisters to love and to be loved by, people in whom we behold a refreshing likeness of Christ. The function of the body to serve and to encourage one another is, at least in my life, one that is neglected. It is, as Boss would put it, my "Lone Ranger" tendency. I can't do it alone, yet I function as if I can. I easily buy into one of two deceptions: I'm either better than someone else, or someone is better than me. In either case, I find that I'll react in much the same way, which is to hide my struggles in an effort to "keep up appearances." Foolishness! When will I learn? Andrew's admonishment to encourage admonishes me still. Yet, I'm finding that in order to encourage...truly encourage...I must lay down my pride and reveal how the struggles we face are just that: the struggles we face. posted by Bolo | 12:26 AM 0 speakage 2.19.2005 Woosh! Collegiate Conference. Lots of free pizza (at least 30 boxes or so). Boyce's Coffee House at the Patio Room. Of all those things yesterday, the highlight was definitely The Woosh. The woosh comes courtesy of the Cavanaugh family...the Cavanaugh's of Burkey (like turkey, but with a "b") Court. The woosh comes because they most graciously provided yours truly with the coolest coffee geek's coffe maker ever made...a vacuum coffee maker, one that goes, "woosh!" I won't explain it here...you'll just have to see it. Suffice it to say we literally had crowds of people gathered 'round at each brewing, anxiously awaiting the infamous "woosh!" Chriyus even got scared and jerked his hand away at one wooshing; he had been kneeling down with his hand near the base of the pot, unaware of how quickly the hot liquid would transfer from the top portion to the bottom :) Aaaahhhh...the pleasures of the wooshing...'tis a most stupendous thing :) Thanks, Cavies! posted by Bolo | 10:02 AM 0 speakage 2.18.2005 Linkage Smart H20...whoa. This is a little late for SAD, but it's still applicable every other day of the year ;) Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! (307.1 was my high.) I never thought I'd see the day when a cockroach would be said to have a sexy scent. posted by Bolo | 12:09 PM 5 speakage Silly For the past several weeks, Darren Thomas and I have tried to get together for some morning coffee at Java. For the past several weeks, one or both of us has somehow managed not to get out of bed, for one reason or another. This morning was no different :) Silly humans... posted by Bolo | 11:41 AM 0 speakage 2.17.2005 Secret So. I like talking to Mr. Mikami. Our conversations follow an inevitable pattern: I greet him with a, "Mister Mikami." He responds with a, "what's happening, man?" After that, we dialogue for a little bit with idle chit chat, and then launch into the meat of things. It's at that point where one of us will start to spill the beans and talk about whatever's been happening...really happening. Last night was no different. It had been one month since we'd last conversed...one month since I was sitting in the airport at the Honolulu International Airport, waiting to board a plane that would be taking me on the first leg of my trip back to Louisville, Kentucky...Snow Country, as Boss would put it. The last time I spoke with Kevin, I was confused beyond belief, filled with questions that had many answers, yet answers that were void of solutions. One month later, it seems that those solutions still elude me :) Yet, something has undeniably changed. I told Kev that I've often questioned whether or not I'm growing, whether or not I'm living the life that I'm called to live in Christ. The frustrations of life have caused me more grief than I care to admit, either to myself or to others. Yet, in the midst of all of this, I have found over and over again that God is indeed growing me, even in spite of me. Those eureka moments come when I talk to someone like Kevin, someone who just sits there and listens to me while I untangle the discord I've tied myself into. That's what I like about talking to Kev; he listens, really listens. It's something that's hard to find in someone. I think that that's the real secret to our conversations, truth be told...it's good to have a friend who listens. Thanks, Kev :) posted by Bolo | 11:30 AM 0 speakage 2.16.2005 Clouds The other night, I was talking with Smythe. I told him that often times, I'm prone to focus on the hard stuff of life - the pain, the struggles, the things that make me go, "daaaaaaaaaaangit! Won't I ever learn?" I said that while it's good to stare our failures in the face, there's also something to be said for taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture. He and I can tend to get caught up in horrors of the World, and we rant about how we just want to die and be with Jesus because, quite frankly, we feel the transience and depravity of our own flesh. What came to mind was a cloud. In the dark of night, with no moonlight, you don't recognize the cloud. You don't see it, and you don't really think about it. The only thing that might tell you that there's a cloud overhead is if you look up and notice that the stars aren't present the way that they should be. Other than that, however, the cloud goes unnoticed. Right at about sunset, however, things are different. I love to watch sunsets; I was quite tempted to skip class on Monday just to sit and watch one (we had 70 degree weather that day...*sigh*). When I see one, my eyes are drawn to soak in the horizon as it slowly envelops the glowing sun, all the way to the point where the last burning point of orange disappears for the day. Sometimes, though, the clouds get in the way. I told Rob that it's easy to focus so much on the fact that the clouds are in the way of the sun. Yet, that'd be foolish! The clouds, in their own way, make the sunset so much more incredible to behold. Though they hide the sun from my view, the clouds engage in an incredible interaction with the sun's rays, and I see the sunlight play upon the tiny tendrils of moisture in such a way that they create a canopy of orange, yellow, red, blue, purple, and pink. Other than on Filipino ladies, those colors are never seen together ;) And believe me, they look much better on the sunset sky than they do on those ladies! In much the same way, the Lord interacts with our sinful nature in such a way that He creates a beautiful panorama of His grace in our lives. We can focus on the things that we do that seem to block our view of Him, or we can take a step back and see how He sovereignly works to pierce through the clouds in our lives to shine forth His light. Sometimes, I forget to do that. Often, I get so bummed by my sin and the lostness of this world; while there's a healthy place for Godly sorrow, we must remember to keep it "Godly," and not lose sight of the cross in the midst of our sinful lives. I wonder sometimes if I'm really growing. I wonder if this is all a farce, if I'm really doing what He wants me to. I wonder if, in my flesh, I'll just wake up one day and find I've utterly failed. You know, that very well may be the case. Yet, even if it is, I trust that my God will use my failure to paint His glory in ever more brilliant colors upon this canvas I call life. posted by Bolo | 11:41 PM 0 speakage Am I? "I'm good." That's my trendy reply to the question, "how ya doin'?" As I've considered the state of my heart as of late, I've come to realize that the statement, "I'm good," isn't entirely true. If anything, it's an incomplete answer at best, or at worst, an outright lie. Some people hear more than just those two words, but many don't. And you know what? That's not right. They're entitled to more than a reflex answer; they deserve a reflective one, an honest one. There's a problem with that, though. The problem lies in me, not anyone else. You see, I often have a hard time unravelling all the tangles that I think myself into. (Yes, I'm confessing that I sometimes think too much...sometimes!) Because of that, I feel that the words, "I'm good," simply don't convey the complexity of what I'm really feeling and facing. To be perfectly honest, I don't even know how I'm feeling sometimes, and I need someone to let me talk my way through whatever's happening inside of me. That brings me to another problem. Sometimes, I don't want to share what I'm going through. Do you know why? It's not because I don't have time, or because I don't trust people; quite frankly, it's because I'm too proud to stare my failures in the face and admit that I'm struggling. (Well, sometimes I don't trust people, but that's a different issue entirely.) I think it's only when I can admit to someone else what it is I'm struggling with that I can truly say I can admit my struggles to myself and to the Lord. *Sigh*...but that's so much harder than it should be! My conclusion on this foolish tendency is to be...*gulp*...vulnerable. Whoa. What a novel concept! Doing so will break down my walls of pride, cause me to love my brothers and sisters as I ought to, and open my heart to hear the refreshing and transforming Word of the Lord. I remember that story that Richard Foster wrote in the introduction to his excellent bok, The Celebration of Discipline. If you've never read it, you should. If you've read it but don't recall the story, shame on you. If you've read it and know what I'm talking about, smile along with me as I remember the story and its humbling truth. posted by Bolo | 5:32 PM 0 speakage 2.15.2005 The Tally Andrew would be proud. Why? The total tally for tonight's Open Dorm at Boyce College: 1 turkey sandwich, 1 muffin, 4 cookies, 1 can of chicken noodle soup, 1 brownie, a long sip of orange soda from an incredulous Matt (he looked like he couldn't believe he was giving me more sustenance than I'd already acquired), and an ooey, gooey kiss. Hershey's, of course. The sandwich came courtesy of Rebecca...er...Lauren. I was the only one who got a sandwich...very nice. I was helping her, as she put it, get rid of all her food. I heard various cries of, "Toto, you're always eating!" or, "how'd you get that?" I can't help it if people gladly hand me their provender :) Hmmm...I believe an explanation is in order before I go on. Open Dorms. It's the substitute for Dorm Meeting that occurs twice a semester (I think) where guys get to go into the girl's dorm rooms, and vice versa. It's somewhat of a big deal because the opposite genders are usually not allowed in Carver (the guy's dorms) or Mullins (the girl's dorms). The big draw is that the girls make food, and the guys...well...the guys hope they cleaned their rooms sufficiently :) With that in mind, it's usually a rather unfair lot for the majority of on-campus male students at Boyce when it comes to Open Dorms, because I, the commuter student, somehow manage to obtain the most food. Should I be ashamed of this brash display of acquisition? Perhaps. Will I be ashamed? Unlikely. Will I continue my rogue ways? Absolutely! posted by Bolo | 12:47 AM 1 speakage 2.14.2005 Concerned Today is Valentine's Day. I wasn't really going to write anything about it, but as I walked out of class this morning, Cassie greeted me with a rather concerned look on her face and said, "John, is there a reason you're wearing all black on Valentine's Day?" You see, I was wearing a black pinstripe suit with a black turtleneck on underneath. I had worn the turtleneck only because I saw it lying on my floor. The suit followed because Mondays are my Ambassador Tour days, and I can't wear jeans and give campus tours. Simple enough, right? I thought so, but Cassie thought I was in mourning or something. Nope...no mourning...I didn't even remember it was Singles Awareness Day until she reminded me ;) posted by Bolo | 6:19 PM 0 speakage 2.13.2005 Nothing An excerpt from my a journal entry today: Brook no mistake about my identity. I am nothing special, nothing worthy, nothing talented, nothing beautiful, nothing praiseworthy, nothing attractive, nothing worth saving. I am, without a doubt, nothing. That could describe me, could it not? Yet, does it not also describe the Christ as He died on the cross? He became nothing...the worthy, in place of the unworthy. Yet I esteem myself far too highly still. Who am I, that the Son of God should die for me? Who am I? I am nothing... There's usually a distinct difference between what gets typed into my blog and what gets scrawled into my journal. However, that short entry from earlier today stuck with me in such a way that I decided, for whatever reason, to enter it here. Before I go on, a short explanation is in order, particularly for you bible college and seminary types ;) I don't mean to imply that I am, as a human, utterly without value. I'm created in God's image; that in and of itself carries an intrinsic value far beyond my limited comprehension. When I said I am "nothing," I was referring to what I have to offer God outside of Christ. Furthermore, when I wrote about "nothing" also describing Christ, I had in mind Isaiah 53, and the description we have there of the Christ. He was to all appearances a man utterly forsaken and cursed, a man without value or desirability. But you already knew that :) In thinking about being "nothing," I thought about how much worth I put in my own abilities. Often, I twist whatever gifts the Lord gives me as a license to do as I please, rather than see those gifts as a grace to bring myself and others before the throne of grace to behold Him in His glory. Would I, had the Lord not granted me such grace in Christ, be blessed? Nope. Would I be able to enjoy Him at all? Nope. When I scrawled out the word "nothing" over and over again, it was not with a dark and gloomy pallor hanging over my soul. Quite the contrary, I was filled with joy! Why? Simply put, the beauty of God's grace in Christ is such that we cannot behold it with joy and wonder and praise unless we see such beauty held up against the backdrop of our horrific guilt and shame. The Lord tells us that those who are forgiven little love little, and those who are forgiven much love much. I count it a gracious blessing that I am being shown how much the Lord forgives me, that I in turn may love much. If Christ would empty Himself and become despised and rejected...become nothing...for me, it would behoove me to open my eyes to the sins I turn away from every day. Why? Such vulnerability before the Lord reminds me of the price He paid to make me something...so much more than nothing. posted by Bolo | 11:35 PM 1 speakage Old School The Old School block has been updated. You know what? There's an inherent problem that I have with updating that thing. It's that I forget to log which posts I've already linked to from before...that leads to a possible redundancy that...well...I'm not really going to do anything about :) posted by Bolo | 12:09 AM 0 speakage 2.12.2005 Excused Tardiness Patrick Orayi Whyte. The man is one that cannot be missed or mistaken. He's like...7 feet tall...got a distinctive voice (almost James Earl Jonesish, but not really...it's probably the accent...he's Nigerian)...and he knows everybody. The worst thing about Patrick is that he sucks up your time and makes you late. The best thing? If He's talking about the Lord, then the tardiness he bestows upon you is worth it. Well, almost. Last night, we got together to catch up, since we hadn't sat down to chat in a few months. I told him the latest (and not so latest), and he told me what the Lord's been teaching him. And wow, is he learning! Before I go into Patrick's lesson, though, I'm going to put in my five cents on the word that I've had humming through my system for the past week: holiness. God's holiness, mind you, not mine, for the term, "my holiness" seems more like an oxymoron as of late than anything else. The Lord calls us to holiness, for He Himself is undeniably and unexplainably holy. Yet I fail to heed that calling time and time again. Thus, what Patrick shared struck a nerve. He spoke about being vulnerable before the Lord, about coming to a point where faith means us crying out, "God, if You do not help me, if You do not intercede, I simply cannot go on, for only You can do this!" He spoke about dealing with sin at the point where it first takes root, for the sinful things which are manifest in our lives initially take shape in our hearts, and we cannot blame them on the external influences that shape the ebb and flow of our lives. We are called to be salt to a tasteless world, light to a world in the darkness. Am I doing that? Am I different? Am I holy, set apart, holy as He is holy? The conversation caught something within me that I had been letting fall for a long, long time. In hearing Patrick's familiar voice extol the weakness of man and the tender strength of God, I felt beckoned once more to heed the call of grace that the cross sends out. It was a gentle reminder of something that Leeman once chided me with: Right now I am, in the sight of God, as righteous as I will ever be; yet, I am to still work out my salvation with fear and trembling, for Christ is still being formed within me. *Sigh*...it's the "saved, but not yet saved" aspect of our salvation. Although that righteousness is a comfort, it is also freedom that is given to us by the Lord that we might not stumble still more, for it is in Christ's righteousness that we come forth to confess our sin and weakness and infinite need, full of hope and faith that the Lord is ineed faithful to those whom He has called. posted by Bolo | 9:49 AM 0 speakage 2.11.2005 He's Moody You know what I like about John Moody? When he asks me, "how are you doing?" I always get the impression that he's asking because he really wants to know. How do I know this? Well, for one thing, I've known John for a decent amount of time. For another, when I ask him that, he always answers with a real answer, even if it's a concise answer. But both of those only serve to underline something he shared a while back. We were at someone's house...I think the house belonged to some friends of Lisa Scholl's...and John shared a little about being at Southern and Boyce. He said the one thing that really discouraged him was how much we talked about Jesus, but not what Jesus was doing in our lives. That stuck with me; not only did it make me think about what Jesus was doing in my life then, but it continues to make me think about what He's doing in my life now. I'm forced to think about that through the joys, pains, failures (many), sins (again, many), and lessons...and it's a hard thing to think about at times. Believe it or not, it's sometimes harder to realize what the Lord is doing when I'm on our Beloved Campus. It's 'cause I get my Holy Head stuck up my Holy Butt, and I forget that we're all real people who are dealing with real pains and problems. What's more, I forget that the World is full of real people, and that those people are totally ignorant when it comes to the real solution to their real problems. Thank God for people like John Moody. He reminds me that my theology is only as good as it is when I'm applying it. And if my theology is good, then it isn't really "my" theology... posted by Bolo | 11:04 AM 0 speakage 2.10.2005 Linkage Under the sea...under the sea... What in the world...? Aaahhhh...I was innocent in these days...*sigh*. Hey, I was, really I was! Ok, maybe not, but one can dream, right? Now this is the kind of t-shirt I'd love to wear... No, this is not supposed to be about me. Hope springs eternal. If you're geeky and interested in the chip that will power the PS3, click here. If you don't understand GeekSpeak (you'll need to at least understand that RISC stands for Reduced Instruction Set Computing, but the fact that RISC processors became available to the masses via Apple's PowerMac isn't necessary), don't even bother. posted by Bolo | 9:03 PM 0 speakage 2.09.2005 Granted... God is so good. You ask him for something because you know His granting it is delightful to Him, and then what does He do? He goes ahead and grants it to you. Yup...God is good :) posted by Bolo | 8:26 PM 4 speakage He ain't Juicy Fruit Two weeks ago, I sat in Boyce Chapel, listening to Dean Scroggins preach. I don't remember a whole lot from the message, except an illustration about a grandmother asking her grandson, a rather highly regarded biblical scholar, if after all the education and accolades he had received, he loved Jesus more. Dean Scroggins challenged us with a charge to love Jesus more. I don't think I took it to heart that morning; thankfully, the Lord didn't let me forget it, because He brought it to mind again. Will I, after leaving Boyce College, love Jesus more than when I first arrived? I thought about that this morning while I drove over the 2nd Street Bridge. I feel a coldness in my heart these days, a coldness that hints of smug, self-satisfied pride and selfishness. In short, sin. Ouch. As I pondered that, the thought came into my mind that I can't even worry about the condition of my heart when I leave unless I first take care of my heart while I'm here. In other words, the sin must be dealt with. Pride and selfishness must go, to be replaced with a desperate cry for satisfaction in Jesus. That was, in essence, what our chapel message was on this morning. Dr. Rick Holland preached from Ecclesiastes, covering the scope of the entire book. The theme he centered on was "satisfaction." What satisfies? Surely not Juicy Fruit. (Sorry...you had to be there to get it.) The only thing that satisfies is Christ. Dr. Holland gave us a very sobering reminder of the preciousness of the Lamb of God, He who takes away our sins...our dissatisfaction. Christ takes away all my pride, my selfishness, my sin, and He nails it to the cross. He displays His glorious love for me and for the Name of God, all in one fell swoop on the cross; He satisfies me! Nope...Jesus is definitely not Juicy Fruit... posted by Bolo | 3:06 PM 0 speakage Hebrews Hebrews 5:8 - 10 Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. And having been made perfect, He bacame to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation, being designated by God as a high priest according to the order of Melchizedek. There's a lot to think about in those three verses, but I'm going to shed a little light on just one aspect of what's being said in that passage. The author says here that Christ was, through His sufferings, taught obedience. He was, in essence, "made perfect." It's not to say that He was not perfect before He suffered, for He was perfect in His deity, and utterly without sin; what is being said is that it was through His sufferings that He became the source of eternal salvation. Think on that. Before the cross, before the incarnation, Jesus was worthy to be the Lamb; yet, He was still the Lion. When He suffered and died as the sacrificial Lamb, He was still perfect, yet it was His sufferings which made Him the very propitiation for our sins. At the beginning of chapter 5, the author speaks of the high priests making sacrifices for sins on behalf of themselves and the people. Yet, we are taught that those sacrifices were not sufficient! What, then, would be sufficient? The only sacrifice worthy would have to be a perfect sacrifice, one that would be able to enter into the true holy place, and not a mere copy of the true one, as is taught in chapter 9:23 - 28. Christ, as the Son, had to actually shed His blood in order to become our salvation. Moreover, because of the heinous nature of our sin, Christ could not merely have a little blood drawn and sprinkled upon the cross in a sterile manner. No, the sacrifice God required was one that displayed the glory of His wrath! Any less than that would have belittled and mocked His own justice and righteousness. The Father was very, very serious when He sent His own Son to die; the physical pain, the mental anguish, and the spiritual separation were all very, very horrible, far more than any of His children will ever be able to fully comprehend. To think of Christ's sufferings leading to obedience also teaches us that we suffer nothing in this world that Christ Himself cannot identify with; indeed, in chapter 4:15, the author tells us that Christ was tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. We often remember that Christ's sufferings encompassed all of human temptation, but forget that He felt the full brunt of sin's guile and wiles. When we remember that, we will never be able to say with conviction, "He doesn't know how I feel." On the contrary, Christ's sufferings meant that He was punished as a guilty man would be, without quarter from the Father's wrath. He does know our guilt, He does know our shame; because of that, He was "made perfect," for He not only knows the glory of God's worth and perfection, but also all the pains of our sinful flesh. What does this mean? Not only was He worthy to be be the sacrifice to atone for our sin, He was also made, through His sufferings, the perfect Savior through which we would be able to praise the glory of His grace forever. posted by Bolo | 1:21 AM 0 speakage Retards How do you know your friends are retarded? They leave you voicemails that go like this: "Yoooouuuuu are in maaath claaaaaaass, bwa-da-da-da-daaaa-bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" What's even more retarded? You're laughing so hard when you listen to that voicemail, you drool on yourself. Yep...Scott's a retard, and so am I. posted by Bolo | 1:16 AM 0 speakage 2.08.2005 Random Happenstance Random happenings from this crazy journey called Life... Stacey picked my nose. I'd forgotten about this odd happenstance until she reminded me today. I'm not sure if I wrote about it when it occurred a couple weeks ago, but I certainly feel like writing about it now. Emily nearly snorted a booger out of her own nose (perhaps, I'm guessing, so as to alleviate the need for Stacey to pick her nose in turn...who knows...I'm not going to guess what motivates women to do what they do...*cough*) when she laughed. So yeah...Stacey picked my nose. This, after she had smelled my armpit on New Year's Eve when we were visiting the Cavanaugh's, staying with them in their house on Burkey (like turkey, but with a "b") Street in Reynoldsburg. Actually, the act of sniffage took place in Easton...a very, very cool mall/town center/oasis of shopping in Columbus. I could spend weeks there. Seriously. The flagship Express store is there. Ooooohhhh ;) My hair is getting long, and I need to cut it, despite what Megan said. She thinks it looks nice. I think I look like a tree-huggin' hippie. It's been...oh...three weeks since I last set buzzer to scalp? Ouch. That's a long while. *Shrug*. I do as I please :) Soon enough, it'll be cut. Soon enough, my head will be happy :) Intramural basketball at Southern Seminary and Boyce College. Aaaaahhhh, how sweet the bragging is! At least, until the next game. I'm on Todd Thomas' team. We had only six players last night, and Jeremy's team had eight. We rocked 'em...by a substantial amount...no thanks to me...but still...'twas FUN :) Pablo kept stealing the ball like he was playing NBA Jams, and Jed lit it up from outside the arc like he was shooting from two feet away. We ran and ran and ran, and still had energy left at the end of the game. I think it's a lot easier to run when you're winning, but still...I was quite pleased that this old man didn't run out of fuel, ya know? Especially since... I played some volleyball before the basketball game, probably about four games or so. Hitting the ball was fun, especially since the other team didn't put up a block. Hah! It's nice to play with people when they actually think you can hit. They attribute it to my being from Hawai'i, as well as the fact that I boss people around when I'm playing. (Sssshhh, I tell them I'm "coaching," and then they listen. They don't realize I'm just telling them that so I get to do what I want to do...hehehe.) Seriously, though, Mary would be proud of my hitting. My setting, too, but particularly my hitting. It's gotten twenty times better than it used to be, which makes it much more fun for me to play two's. Hopefully, we'll play again on Friday. Daniel and I have a little bit of revenge to exact upon James and TraceDawg. posted by Bolo | 9:59 PM 0 speakage Taken from Wired's Furthermore archive: This sounds too fanciful to be true, but the Jordanian news service Petra is reporting it as fact, and the world is weird enough that maybe, just maybe.... A married man, identified as Bakr Melhem, found new love in a chat room while corresponding with a woman who identified herself as Jamila. After three months of wooing, Jamila and Bakr, who called himself Adnan, agreed they would marry. To seal the deal, they arranged to meet at a bus station in a small Jordanian town outside the capital. Imagine their surprise when Jamila turned out to be Sanaa -- Bakr's wife. Bakr turned white, screaming loudly: "You are divorced, divorced, divorced!" -- the traditional way of ending a marriage in Islam. Sanaa fainted, but not before calling her husband a liar. It's a sad story, a tragic story, a horrible story...but dangit...I must confess...a story that made me laugh out loud. *Shrug*. posted by Bolo | 1:56 AM 0 speakage 2.07.2005 Bruised Scott and I sat out there tonight, barely covered by the overhang, the rain splish-splashing onto our shoes. I told him that I don't think I realized just how much I've been hurting. Perhaps the best way to describe it is to say that I've got a huge bruise on my soul, and it keeps getting re-bruised. When will it heal? I don't know. It's a long semester, and who knows how the summer will go...or where it will go. I told him I feel like I have spiritual PMS. Andrew asked me a couple of weeks ago if it's possible for guys to get PMS; after I got over the shock of his inquiry, I pondered his question in earnest. I forget what it was I told him, but his question came to mind again this evening. It sounds silly, I know, and it sounds like I'm mocking the fairer sex, but I'm not. *Sigh*...I wish I were. Jon used to ask me, "are you funky?" That was his way of asking me if I was in a funky mood...moody...anti-social. If he were here now...oh, how I'd love for him to be here now...I'd answer him affirmatively. I'm definitely, without a doubt, undeniably, unconditionally, wholeheartedly Funky. But this one is legitimate, as opposed to many of the silly funks I'd embrace in days of yore. Jon was always patient with me, always very understanding; he knew how to read me, and I'd always look forward to whatever it was he had to say, if only because he could speak wisdom into my life like none other. *Sigh*...yeah...it'd be nice to have him here right now...'cause I'm in a funk...and it hurts. Perhaps the healing will take a while. Perhaps not. I have no idea. My life is not my own, despite the fact that it feels like I'm the one who often sends it careening wildly onto paths it ought not tread. What's most important is that I entrust the wild careening to Him, because He endured far more wild careening than I ever will. posted by Bolo | 11:59 PM 0 speakage 2.06.2005 Agreeance? "Agreeance." It's not a word. Yet someone used it recently...in a prayer...four times. I won't say who, and I wasn't going to write about it, but dangit, I was trying so hard to remain sober-minded during that prayer, but by the fourth "agreeance" uttered, my reverent sobriety was in shambles. Therefore, I'm giving myself a creative outlet to something I found humorous and noteworthy, and telling the world about it here on my humble blog. Ok, maybe not the world, perhaps, but definitely the intelligentsia of the theological realm. Ok, maybe not even the intelligentsia, since nobody in this blog's readership is part of Mensa, but...but...ok, who reads this thing, anyway? Hopefully, not the person who used the word "agreeance" in their prayer ;) posted by Bolo | 1:10 AM 0 speakage 2.05.2005 We'll Do Lunch So. I saw my sister and brother in-law for the first time in over a week just a few moments ago. I guess that's kind of a long time, considering we all "live" in the same house. She misses me...so she said we have to have lunch one day. Hehehe...we live in the same house, and we almost never see each other, so we're going to Do Lunch. Maybe I'll have My People contact Her People to set up a time ;) I don't know how possible it'd be for us to walk anywhere on campus together, though; we'd never get to our destination without an overwhelming number of people stopping us, especially those individuals who know both of us. It's a rare sight to see us together these days, let alone on campus. Imagine if we were in Founder's together. Oh my! Now, if we can only fit one another into our schedules... posted by Bolo | 11:58 PM 0 speakage 2.04.2005 Downtown A.M. I've always liked to be downtown in the morning. Any downtown will do, really. The air seems fresh and young, as if it's not yet worn out by the daily grind of the workday, and when the sun is peeking through the trees as it was this morning, that's an even bigger bonus. Downtown in the morning reminds me of a fresh cup of strong coffee (no room for cream, thanks), smiles so big they crease the eyes, bagels toasted to melt-in-your-mouth softness slathered with far too much cream cheese, and the invigorating feeling of a good, hot shower. Yeah, I like downtown in the morning :) I also like Paul Butterworth. This is going to sound strange, but he sometimes reminds me of my worst nightmare come true. No, not like that. You know what I mean...that proverbial dream wherein the main character (usually ourselves) is going about their day at school or work, when suddenly he or she finds that they're without all their clothing except their underwear. Paul is like that for me; he embodies what I fear I will wake up as one day: tall and gangly, pale, geekiness shining forth in all his geeky glory. (Right now, he's outside of Blind Brandon's door talking about Spider Man being the first comic book character to display emotional weaknesses...like I said, geeky glory.) But you know what? I sometimes wish I were him. People like Paul. I like Paul. He's known as Pablo on campus. Why wouldn't I want to be Paul? Because I'm me. And just who am I? Aaaahhhh, that is the question, is it not? The desire to be someone I'm not is, at its root, a vain one in the most selfish sense of the word. So is, believe it or not, my motive for remaining me. Why is that? As I look at someone else, someone like Paul, I can easily fall into the trap of thinking, "hmmm...life would be so much easier if I were Paul...God, why do I have to have my problems...Paul doesn't seem to have any...it'd be easier if I had his life...why can't I have his?" Or, when his life doesn't seem to be going so well, or when he confides in me the challenges and struggles of being Paul Butterworth, I think to myself, "whew! Thank God that I don't have his problems! I mean, if I had to deal with that..." Do you see how proud and selfish I am? I think of life in terms of me, not in terms of God. God made Paul the way Paul is; God made me the way I am. Why would I do anything but be grateful for that and praise Him? Why would I be discontent in the way He made me? What if I were crippled? What if I couldn't tell the difference between mauve and taupe, or vanilla and winter white? What if I had problems that far exceeded those that are upon me right now? Would I be discontent in that? *Sigh*...I'd like to say "no," but I can't. Do you know why? Because I can't say that right now. I compare. I check the ratings. I listen to what people are saying. I know it's sad, I know it's wrong, but it's true. I'm just glad that it won't always be this way :) You know what else I like? I like good conversations with good friends. Andrew...Brian...Scott...Rob...Chriyus...Mike...they remind me of what's important. They give insight I would be otherwise lacking. They encourage and admonish, and they do it with grace. It still stymies me that they would consider me a friend...a good friend. With all my selfishness, with all of my faults, they still love me. *Sigh*...God is good to us like that, isn't He? Which reminds me. Mike said we have to go to Olive Garden again. He's right about that :) posted by Bolo | 6:16 PM 0 speakage Linkage I can hear Martin Smith singing, "I wanna go deeper..." :) Woof! Geography, anyone? My score...83%, average mileage error 38, 263 seconds on the first try. Go for it...I dare you. Sing the song, everybody...867-5309. posted by Bolo | 3:33 PM 2 speakage Same Coin Colossians 1:28 We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ. To what purpose are we to admonish, to teach every man with all wisdom? Paul says it is so that we may present every man complete in Christ...complete in Christ. Ok...what does "complete in Christ" mean? When I looked at this verse several weeks ago, I was hit by various individual words and phrases...admonishing...teaching every man with all wisdom...present...complete in Christ. The first one to really stick out was "complete in Christ." The thought of being complete in Christ was the first idea that really caught my attention. To be complete reminded me of several truths from several passages: the Spirit's work of causing Christ to dwell within our hearts through faith, as Paul speaks of in Ephesians 3; the good work that the Lord is perfecting in us, as we are reminded of in Philippians 1; and the formation of Christ in us, as is found in Galatians 4. Complete in Christ. It's a continual work, one that never ends on earth. The Spirit will continually labor to form Christ within us, and we, as the body, will be a part of that labor. The word "present," in particular, causes me to think of this labor in a very Kingdom-oriented sort of way. We, the body, labor for the cause of the Kingdom in all we do, working in order that we might see Christ being formed in one another, for without the individual members of the body working together, the body itself would never be built up. No one would be truly made complete unless the rest of the body labored to build him up! That's the design that God built into the Church, His body, and we cannot ignore that design; to do so would be disasterous. In a very real and sobering sense, we already see the effects of our ignorance all around us. "Admonishing" and "teaching every man with all wisdom" hit me in a different manner. Upon their ponderance, a myriad of interrelated ideas popped into my head: Christ as the Wisdom of God, fear of God as the beginning of wisdom, admonishing according to the Word of God, humility being tied in to admonishment both in giving and receiving, and more. Yet, what really made those two ideas stick was the first three words of the verse: We proclaim Him. The implication there is that in order to proclaim Christ, we must admonish and teach with all wisdom; doing the inverse would mean that we would not be proclaiming Christ. In the very first part of this letter, Paul says that the gospel is "constantly bearing fruit and increasing." How so? It must be by through its proclamation! And what does that proclamation look like? Admonishment and teaching. We preach the horrors of sin and the glories of God's grace in Christ. If we do not do so, then how can we say we are proclaiming Christ? I told Andrew that teaching and admonishing are two sides of the same coin, and that that coin is called, "proclaiming Christ." We are to proclaim Christ for the sake of His Kingdom. How do we do this? We are to ensure that we are admonishing one another, as well as teaching one another to ensure that we are seeing and savoring Him as we ought to. posted by Bolo | 1:01 AM 0 speakage 2.03.2005 Expressly Exhausted *Groan*...tired...tired...tired. I slept on Smythe's bed after that ludicrous 12-hour shift last night. Exhausted sounds like a better word. Now I get to go in to work again, but this time at Express. How fun :) posted by Bolo | 3:52 PM 0 speakage 2.01.2005 Worm What a wretched worm I am. Today in class, Chip invented a word to describe the state of Man in our sin: "worminess." Tonight, in Dorm Meeting, the Lord graciously provided but a tiny glimpse into just how much of my worminess I squirm to avoid. He showed me my pride in all its ugly, selfish horror. Words cannot describe just how prideful I am, and I've a hunch that this process of seeing my worminess anew is only the beginning. Good; I wouldn't want it to be the end! As we walked that familiar, quiet road behind Carver Hall, I told Scott that the Lord had pounded me tonight. I told him that He showed me how I compare myself to other students, that even if I don't say it with my words, I consider myself better than them in my heart. I talked about James McCray, who shared tonight about ministering to an unreached people group in the Northwest Territories over our winter break; his ministry took place in weather that was thirty below on the "warm" days. I told Scott that I'd often judged James, thinking myself better because I seem more socially adept. Fool! James is obeying the Lord with all his heart; who am I to compare? *Sigh*...what a proud sinner I am. Why such pride in my heart? I told Scott that I did what they tell athletes never to do: read their own press clippings. In other words, I started to believe what others had been saying about me, and I stopped listening to the one voice that truly matters. *Sigh*...sin is so conniving! Andrew had written that he and I are the same before the cross, kneeling there shoulder to shoulder as sinners bought with Christ's precious blood. I'd forgotten that that applies not only to me and him and Scott and Rob and Brian, but also to all the others at Boyce College...and all those whom the Father has chosen. We are all equals before the cross! We have no greater hope, and no lesser hope. How dare I look upon others and scorn that very hope by making a mockery of the blood that Christ shed for us! Is Christ's blood not sufficient? Hardly. Why, then, do I look down upon my brother or sister and see their supposed deficiencies? Do they not have every spiritual blessing in Christ? Yes, they do! So am I not to be awed by the gracious work of the Lord in the heart of my fellow Christian? Yes, I am! Yet I am not. At least, I chose to be so only when I am around some people. What a hypocrit. One of the songs we sang during the worship set spoke about the creation giving praise to the Lord. As we sang that, I thought about how Jesus said that the very rocks would cry out if He were not praised. What hit me then was how the rocks and trees, as simple and unimpressive as they can be at times, are doing exactly what they were created to do, and in doing so, they give the Lord glory as they were designed to. In my sinful nature, however, I do not do what I was created to do, for my sin corrupts the Lord's glorious design! That design was to enjoy the Lord, to give praise to His name through that enjoyment. Instead, my sin causes me to act as an enemy toward the Lord; enjoyment of the Lord is the last thing my sinful acts allow. It amazed me, therefore, to think that in Christ, the Father intended to restore that original design, and is doing so right now. In His gracious sanctification, He restores me to what He the original design of man was, and more. *Sigh*...this semester is going to be tough, but not for the reasons I had originally thought. I told Scott that I would need him this semester, more than any other. But that's because it's so easy for me to be comfortable here, so easy for me not to be desperate. I could easily walk into the cafeteria and sit with a bunch of people that know me, and forget to look for the lonely one who no one knows is hurting. I told him that I'm operating with my head up my butt; he asked how that's different from normal ;) But yes, there is a definite need for accountability and trust in my life, and I can only trust that the Lord will continue to bring me back to where I need to be when I stray, because my straying is takes me far and occurs often. You know, it's strange to me that such a humbling experience should bring such joy; yet it does. I cannot fathom why the Lord would put up with my wanderings, yet He does. Even more, I know that He delights to show me mercy and bring me back to where I need to be: kneeling at the cross with my brothers and sisters. Today in class, Chip said that the highest title he could ever have is "Brother," because in Christ, we are truly brothers and sisters. I long to serve my brothers and sisters in humble joy. Indeed, humble, joyful service is incredibly enjoyable, for in seeing and savoring Christ, the lower I go, the more glorious the view :) posted by Bolo | 1:16 AM 0 speakage Dell Coupons |
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