Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Goose's WHAT?!?!

So lately, here's what I've been's time I create a post just for Goose. An Ode to Goose, if you will. We do, after all, go way back. Not only that, but we've shared countless hours getting one another into various degrees of trouble. Yes, it's time I write an Ode to Goose. The reasons for doing one are many, but ultimately, it comes down to this: he asked me to :)

The other day, Goose told me about his little knobby-knob, and how he was having trouble finding it. Well, not so much finding it, because it's not like it's misplaced or anything...I mean, he knows exactly where it is, or at least where it should be. It's probably more like he can't quite see he asked the nurse, "I don't see the little knobby-knob...where is it? Are you sure it's really there?" The nurse seemed sure of it, and tried to assure him that it was indeed there, but Goose being Goose, he didn't quite believe her. I thought to myself..."perhaps Goose has forgotten that his little knobby-knob is in the same place that it is for all the other little boys..." Oh well :)

During that same conversation, he told me that he saw this dude on a bicycle the other day. No big deal, right? Well, this dude had on one of those body-hugging spandex bicycle bodysuits on. big deal, right? Weeellll, as this guy slowed to a stop, he leaned to one side, waaaay over to one side, reached down with his hand, grabbed a large portion of the bodysuit that covered his gluteus maximus, and proceeded to publicly dig out the wedgie that had lodged itself in his aforementioned posterior.

Aaaahhh, I love my conversations with Goose :)

Speaking of our conversations, there are any number of Goose quotes that could be totally taken the wrong way if they were read by people who had no idea of the original context. Well, it's a good thing that Goose has such a good friend like me, eh? I mean, good and loyal friends wouldn't do something so underhanded as to post those quotes, would they? *Cough*.

Without further are Goose the quotes, henceforth known as, "The Geese".

"I am very merciful." (That, coming from the person who scored an absolute zero on the Mercy portion of the Spiritual Gifts test. Hah!)
"Blank blank, Mr. Monopoly Man!!!"
"But now, we can jus go back to da hotel room and get some good rest tonight." (Said at the wedding reception. HIS wedding reception. Even my dad, in his drunken stupor, caught on to that one quickly.)
"Rat got a Goosebite, Rat got a Goosebite!" (Ok, Goose didn't say it, but CJ did. It's a good thing Goose is one hairy buggah, and his hair grows back fas kine.)
"..." (What Goose said after the Big Alaskan Girl give him a kiss. With everyone watching. Including Michelle. Hehehehe.)
"Sheeeeeeep." (I'm not even explaining that gotta ask him.)
"These are my dress socks. They're clean." (Said about his white athletic socks while trying on shoes...a pair of black Ecco's. I'm proud to say that I've gotten him past that stage. He now owns black dress socks. Does he wear them? That's another story.)

I'm sure there are any number of quotes I'm forgetting. Like the time we were at Vineyard Zippy's with Shinnick, Mel, Michelle, and Jared. Somebody farted...and the poor waitress...everyone at the table was smiling, and she was still smiling, but there was this moment of slightly uncomfortable silence. And everyone kept smiling. I forget what Goose said, but it was hilarious watching him try to order with everyone thinking, "did the waitress hear that?" I think it was Mel who farted.

*Sigh*...but alas, no more Ben & Jerry's and movies nights, no Mountain Dew and Quake nights, no more shopping ventures to get Goose shoes while Michelle and Mel look on in amusement, and I look on in consternation. Perhaps one day we'll finally watch those Transformers episodes...back to back to back...well, you get the idea. Perhaps one day I'll look on while Michelle changes the newest little Saigusa's diaper and tell Goose, "I found the Knobby-knob!" Perhaps one day we'll finally win that shirt from Star 101.9...and Goose, Michelle, and I can share it like we've always dreamed of. Perhaps one day, maybe, just maybe, Goose will beat me in a deathmatch...yeah right :)

Thus endeth the Ode to Goose. Well, for now. If he reminds me of more of his rip-roaring, harrowing tales of derring-do and grandeur, I'll post them in Part Two. If he tells me the truth, maybe I'll post that, too.

posted by Bolo | 6:17 PM
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A little request

I've been awake for nearly 24 hours now, and I won't get decent sleep until at least another 14 hours from now. Ugh. That's what coffee is for :) Nice, strong, black brings a smile to my face, it does.

Posted below is a little short survey a friend of mine is doing. He requested the use of my blog as a forum of sorts, and I told him it'd be cool with me. Soooo, he (and I) would appreciate it if any of you would be so kind as to respond to his survey. You can do so by entering a comment (click on the "commentary" link under the post). You may, if you desire, do so anonymously.

Now, on to other less serious matters. We're officially into the Summer season. My my time flies when you're having fun :) It seems like just yesterday I was saying goodbye to friends for the summer, making promises to keep in touch, and wondering whether or not those promises would actually be kept. They have, much to my enjoyment. Work seems to be the thing that keeps me going, as I really don't have the time to sit down and just do nothing. Ironically enough, my "sit down and veg" time seems to be when I'm at work...such is the life of the Rent-A-Cop :)

I went in to Sprint today, 'cause my phone has been acting up lately. It'll drop calls on its better days, and completely freeze up on its worst. They told me I can get a replacement for

posted by Bolo | 4:31 PM
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2B Marked...

We interrupt John's regularly schedule rant with breaking news bulletin. (It's not really breaking news, but it interrupts John nonetheless.) With the permission of our gracious Blog host, I've temporarily hijacked his Blog – so I can pick your brains. I'm in the process of finalizing a project and I'm curious to find out what others think about a topic - which I will describe below. I've already reached my conclusion, but at my request, both my identity and opinion will be withheld. Please contact John with your response.

Would you be able to determine whether or not an individual is a "Christian" if all you could do is observe them for 3 minutes? NOTE: the hypothetical individual in question would be sans accessories that would mark them a "Christian." i.e. Crosses, pins, t-shirts, etc., etc.

Please include the following information in your response:

01. First Name

02. Gender

03. Age

Thank-you in advance for your thoughtful responses.

posted by Bolo | 1:58 PM
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*Sigh* goes on. Last night, we had Jim's going away party. It's a huge bummer that he's leaving, but at the same time, it's a good thing that he's going where the Lord would have him go. Obedience, after all, is better than sacrifice :) He'll be going back to Maryland, to enter Sovereign Grace's Pastor's College. To simply be accepted is a huge honor, and it's only all the more typical of Jim that he'd say that it's all by God's grace. Hmmm...I think that's one thing that Jim will continue to teach me about, even in his absence: God's grace. Jim's life is full of the awareness of God's grace; it's something that causes me to stop and think, because I take God's lavishing of His grace far, far too lightly. *Sigh*...

posted by Bolo | 5:31 PM
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Random stuff...

Whew. Finally. After...oh...four hours, maybe five, Jared's computer is finally virus-free. I think. Somewhere around 250 virus files had plagued his poor 'puter...yeah, it was a pretty nasty case :(

I talked to Kayla last night. What I realized recently is that she'll be eleven in under a month. Eleven years old in Hawai'i generally translates into the sixth grade. The sixth grade translates into the first year Kayla will be in the youth group at church. WHOA. That's what I call perspective, ya know? I remember when Kayla was born, and me, Steph, and Malia chose to stay at Camp Timberline with the rest of our church rather than go into town to go see our first niece being born. Next thing I know, I'll be putting a lei about three to four inches above the top of her head at her high school graduation ceremony, giving her a hug, and congratulating her for also beating uncle Jeff to getting a license. Ok, maybe not that last part...but's not like it's not probable!

Yesterday was my first day at Express For Men. The verdict? I think I dig it. I mean, I figured it'd be the "fun" job, one where I'd get to see and talk to people, and it met those expectations. I had fun, I socialized, and I made a little is good. The goal is to not spend the money I make there buying clothes with my discount. Hmmm...I can hear the Peanut Gallery now...

posted by Bolo | 9:13 PM
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Your Two Cents

Here's the deal. I figured that since I've been a lazy bum, and haven't exactly been emailing anyone or calling everyone as of late, I'd go ahead and enable the comments feature on this blog. Soooo...feel free, as of right now, to go ahead and tell me just how big a dufus I am. Uh huh. Right now. Go ahead. GO. Gonfunnit, GO!

posted by Bolo | 12:32 PM
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Mistaken Identity

A phone call from yesterday morning went something like this...

John groggily wakes up.
John Hello?
Rob: Hey's Rob.
Even though it's a number with a 720 area code, John assumes it's Rob Hengel, his old buddy whom he used to work with back at Tripler in Hawai'i.
John: Oh...hey man, what's up?
Rob: Ummm, I have a couple of friends who are going to Hawai'i on their honeymoon, and I was just wondering if you had any suggestions for them.
John: Uh, where in Hawai'i are they going to? Which island?
Rob: I think they're going to Maui...I'm not sure where else they'll be.
Right about now, John is thinking that Rob sounds pretty stoned, 'cause not only is he talking sort of slowly and thickly, but he's asking John for advice on where to go in Hawai'i, when Rob should very well know that himself. Add to that the fact that it's a 720 area code he's calling from, and John is figuring that Rob has moved somewhere else, and may actually be in trouble or something. John pictures Rob looking somewhat haggard and starts worrying...
John: Maui, huh? Well, I'm not too familiar with Maui...
Rob: Oh. Well, that's ok then. I'll just tell them you're not too sure.
John: Sorry 'bout that.
Rob: No problem. Don't worry about it.
John:'ve you been? Haven't heard from you in a while.
Rob: I've been all right. I'm actually getting ready to paint the house today.
John: Oh. Where are you now?
Rob: In Libertyville, Illinois.
As soon as Rob says this, John thinks to himself, "Hey, I know Libertyville! Rob Smythe is from there!"
John: I know someone from Libertyville...
Rob: Oh yeah? Who?
John: A friend of mine...
This is where God's grace really kicks in. John realizes that the Rob he's talking to isn't Rob Hengel, his good buddy from Tripler, but Rob Smythe, his good buddy from Boyce College. John attempts to play off his groggy stupidity as silly humor...
John: His name is Rob Smythe. Hehehe...
Rob: Huh? Oh! Hehehe...
Fortunately for John, his lame humor works. He's thinking even as he writes this, "Maybe Rob will read this and laugh his butt off at me."

posted by Bolo | 10:38 AM
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I should be a missionary to Switzerland...

It's kind of hard to imagine my mom being a hardcore gamer, but it's possible. I know, I's only possible in a "God works miracles" sort of sense. And God does work miracles, doesn't He? Maybe this is like the old, "can God create a rock to big for Him to lift?" question that Gary used to pose us. Hehe :)

Wired mentioned the problem Windows XP has with dropping a WiFi connection today, but Ars had a pretty good solution on it a couple months back. Gotta love Ars :)

posted by Bolo | 5:00 PM
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So. I was in Java this morning, and this Filipino dude walks up to me and introduces himself. He wanted to know if I was the same guy he'd seen on the OneDay03 DVD. Aaaahhh, my fifteen minutes of keeps going and going :)

We actually ended up having a great I really needed and am grateful for. What did we talk about? A bunch of (he graduated from Southern a year ago), various churches, various people we both knew to varying degrees, various things God's been teaching us, various struggles we've had to deal with, various...well, you get the idea :)

I did share with him one thing that made me go "wow" this morning. Here's the deal. We're supposed to have Derek Webb (formerly of Caedmon's Call) come here in the Fall.'s not a done deal's Blind Brandon's job to make sure it happens. Anyway, for whatever reason, somewhere around 5 am EST, I couldn't sleep and started thinking about Derek coming up here and doing his thing. I pictured meeting him (again), and chilling with him and all that jazz. In the course of talking with him, I (and I assume many others, as well) would probably thank him for the songs he's written, the stance he's taken on certain issues, and the way he's obeyed the Lord over the years in doing essence, all the nice Christian things that Goose would mock me for. Now, here's the thing. I'm so very quick to lavish praise and thanks upon people like Derek Webb; what about the people I see and interact with on a daily basis? Pastor Danny, after working for twenty years in the Highway Department in St. Louis, uprooted his family and moved to Jeffersonville, Indiana, to pastor tiny Rolling Fields Baptist Church. That's an incredible example of faith and obedience that I interact with on a regular basis; do I praise God for that, and still more, do I encourage Pastor Danny with that? Hardly. Furthermore, what about those within that church body? Do I look at what God is doing in their lives and praise Him for that? What of those who frustrate the heck out of me? Am I looking upon them with grace and an eye toward the immense hope that is stored up for them in Christ, or even seeing them as a part of the wondrous inheritance that Christ has in His Church? Hmmm...a shameful "no" to all of the above.

*Sigh*...that thought has a pretty big Ouch Factor to it.

posted by Bolo | 11:44 AM
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The Desert

I ran into Jim Winn after my workout at the gym tonight. He'd just gotten in from Celebration East, the huge gathering (celebration...hence the name) for Sovereign Grace's East region. It was great to see him, since we hadn't spent time together in...oh...a couple of weeks. We stood in the mail room on campus, catching up on what had transpired...before long, we ended up at Steak N Shake :) Aaahhh, the good things in life!

Speaking of life, it's been strange lately. I told Jim that it's been one of those times recently where God has been pleased to do the Deuteronomy 8 thing and show me how He's leading me through The Desert. Those times...*sigh*...they're so good for me, but so unexpected. It's like I get to a point in my walk with Him where I think I've finally moved beyond the need for The Desert...and that's just when God brings it along.

You shall remember all the way which the LORD your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.

I sometimes think, "God, you know I love You and would do anything for you!" And then He shows me just how much I don't love Him. It's at those points where I just kind of go, "oh." I won't elaborate too much; I think everyone can relate to that feeling :)

He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD.

When I want something...I mean, when I really want something, I know the lengths I'll go to obtain it. Two thoughts come to mind in regards to that. First, God knows this, and He continually lets me go hungry and leaves those silly, empty desires unfulfilled. Second, God demonstrates His love by feeding me with the very best - no matter how ungrateful I am for the feast He sets before me.

In the wilderness He fed you manna which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do good for you in the end.

Yeah...that's the hard thing to remember about being in the desert. When God is drawing back from me, testing me to see how deeply I want Him, it's His higher purpose that's being served. And His purpose is such that He's working even my failures to good. Wow. last thing...Goose, give her an Elvish me :)

posted by Bolo | 1:20 AM
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