Smeagol is Free! A hermitudinal view of...stuff...

8.31.2008   Thoughts I don't ever again want to be informed that Mr. Jeffrey Maguire is meditating on the lint in his navel. Just the Bunches is genius, Post. So what if I like cheap pop? Sue me. I need a hair cut, but, strangely enough, I don't feel like cutting it at the moment. She's here, she's wonderful, and she works incredibly well with me...even if it's been just one roast. One week and Fall League starts up...sweet deal. Poor Moon Pie. SDSU on Saturday, but I'm nervous about it. Speaking of Saturday, there's still that little shindig in the morning, isn't there? Chats with Matt are rare, but dagnacious they can get a guy excited about coffee! One month, man, one month. posted by Bolo | 11:31 PM 0 speakage   Fall Flair Earlier today, I made this my Facebook profile pic. Fall is on its way, and like many other residents of the 'Ville, I'm looking forward to it. Too bad it's followed by Winter, you know? Bummer. This particular shot exudes so much of the vivacious color and crispness of that awesome time of year. In case you're thinking this looks familiar, it has indeed been posted before with a handful of my other favorites. Yup...I dig it. posted by Bolo | 12:34 AM 0 speakage 8.30.2008   Turning Trimethylxanthine Tasty The Five Dubyas: Coffee junkies. A coffee roasting at home workshop. The sixth of September at 10 in the morning. My place. As for why...why, read on. Here's the lowdown: I've had a handful of people over the past year ask me what the deal is with roasting coffee at home. Over the course of that year, I've learned a lot about coffee in general that has been incredibly helpful and insightful. In fact, I really do feel as though I'm much more knowledgeable now than when I first started, but along with that confidence comes the assurance that there's much more that I don't know and probably will not ever know. Thus, I've decided to take you on that same journey, but in miniature. At the end of this, I'm hoping that you'll all feel as though you're far less of a coffee aficionado than you thought you were, wanting to be even more of a coffee junkie than ever before, yet realizing that you can explore the wonders of the coffee globe for the rest of your life and still see but a tiny portion of it. We'll focus on roasting coffee at home: the technicalities of roasting, chemically and economically; what roasting involves as a sensory experience, from the roaster to the mug; and the joys of roasting...the journey, if you will. Please bear in mind that this is not meant to teach you how to be a barista (of which I'm pretty stinkin' ignorant), nor is it going to teach you how to be a commercial/professional coffee roaster. Go talk to Matt and Brian for that...I'm just a junkie teaching other junkies how to get their fix ;) Note: This was sent out as an invite on Facebook. If you didn't get one, it's not because I don't necessarily want you there, but because...well...you just didn't get one. That's life. Feel free to come, just let me know. Dig? Cool. posted by Bolo | 2:34 PM 0 speakage 8.29.2008   Coffeeing Around This is what I told Jeesh just now: "Speaking of some dry-processed Koratie, I'm sipping on some right now...roasted juuuuust out of 1st crack to a nice and fruity deliciousness. The chocolate overtones come through at first, and now it's beginning to mellow out and open up to a lush field of berries and tropical fruit. Dee. Freakin'. Lish." posted by Bolo | 2:23 PM 0 speakage   This Name is No Game Jeremiah 33 tells us that God has a special name for those whom He loves: the LORD is our righteousness. That name, without a doubt, seems at the very least to be cumbersome and lacking imagination. What I mean to say is that there seems to be an obtuse and overly-obvious naming practice being employed here, one that smacks of outright oddity, even for biblical standards. I think that's the point. Our care group met this past Sunday evening. As I told Boss and Mikami later on, the Lord had been graciously showing me throughout the week that I had been and was in the midst of still fighting against unbelief and legalism. Those are terms that are pretty common in the bible college and seminary vernacular, terms that have a tendency to applied to other people. The example I gave the care group, however, made me realize that I, without a doubt, qualified as one of those other persons. Say someone asks me how I'm doing. In answering honestly, I'll generally take a second or three to quickly do a mental check of my day...bible-reading, prayer, small sins, big sins...I'll then give a response based upon how I feel I'm doing. Sounds fine, right? I mean, I'm answering honestly, aren't I? Not really. What I'm leaving out is what God sees in my day: His Son. You see, I tend to evaluate how I'm doing based upon what I've done. This may sound well and good and obviously what the Christian life is based upon, but that's precisely the point of God's word to us: it's not. The word of the LORD through Jeremiah gives a ridiculously clear insight into the difficulties God's people are plagued by in understanding just what it means to be God's chosen people. The verses surrounding the nomenclatural declaration in Jeremiah 33 are filled with God's promises to restore and bless a people, His people, that have sinned greatly and have no hope of changing themselves. Just in case they don't get this, and they don't, He skips the giving of a name and goes straight for the significance and meaning: "I am your righteousness, not you!" Don't overlook this as I tend to. If the general populace of Kentucky started calling me Brown-Skinned and Slanty-Eyed One, I wouldn't be offended, but I do think there would be no way I'd forget what made me different from most of the people around me. If anything, even though I'm already well-aware of those outward differences, those differences would become sharpened toward a painfully obvious point. I told my care group that I forget the cross. In giving His people such a strange name, God is giving us yet one more way to remind us who we are in Christ. That name, after all, shines forth quite bluntly that we are righteous in Christ and not ourselves; the practical implications for this are many. As I told my care group that evening and Boss and Mikami later that night, I really want to see Jesus, and I really want to see my life in light of Jesus' cross. I'm tired of feeling like I have to earn God's love, and I long to embrace that which He longs to make obviously clear: He is my righteousness. posted by Bolo | 7:42 AM 0 speakage 8.28.2008   Cup of the Morning In my trusty Sunergos mug is a small portion of the dry-processed Koratie I've been enjoying for some weeks now. This particular roast is from about four days ago, so it's settled into the resting period quite nicely now. The grind was a fair bit finer today than I usually make it, but the brewing time in the press was shortened to accommodate that fineness. All that said, this cup is...different. The fruit is there, but it's more mellow than I was expecting, not bright and soaring like I suspected it would be. The mouthfeel is clean, perhaps even a touch dry like a good beer or wine. What overwhelms me is the rustic aroma...this has always been present in my roasts of this bean, but it's much stronger right now. Wow. posted by Bolo | 10:44 AM 0 speakage 8.27.2008   Hand-Held I'm giving a print of this away today. It was shot last November, and I definitely dig it. Most people, it seems, have to stare at the print for a few moments before they realize what it is. It's kind of fun to look at them while they figure it out. posted by Bolo | 5:20 PM 2 speakage 8.26.2008   Quotable "She used to want to keep you or someone like you in her closet to advise her daily.... like a fashion Magic 8-Ball of sorts, but slightly odder." -Catherine Huffman posted by Bolo | 10:10 PM 0 speakage 8.25.2008   Stemmed I've been sitting here for the past forty minutes, trying to clear out the stem of this pipe with a wire hanger and regular-sized pipe cleaners. I'd cut the stem, except I still have visions of sitting on my porch doing my best Gandalf impression. Bleh. posted by Bolo | 11:43 PM 0 speakage   Quotable "Please don't puke; I'm a sympathy puker." -Stephanie Criser posted by Bolo | 1:49 PM 0 speakage 8.24.2008   10.04.08 He's on his way... ...well, not really, at least not yet... ...but he's gonna be on his way, so you'd better watch out... ...'cause he has a way with people, he really does. posted by Bolo | 10:52 PM 2 speakage 8.23.2008   Thoughts Stellar is my word of the week. The one good thing about throwing out your back is that girls are slightly more likely to bring you food...only slightly, and that's just because I'm John Letoto...make of that what you will. Yes, you know I'd do the periwinkle again if I felt like it, Boss. Katie Faye Vaughn is stellar...see, I can use it in a a sentence. Much as I'd like to say that I'll go to the early service, I know I'll not be up in time for that. Painkillers and muscle relaxers are also stellar. Two different cups of dry-processed Koratie today, both from different roasts, both quite delicious, both quite stellar. A first-ever roasting class at my place is now not just possible, but quite probable. Graeter's on a Saturday evening in August is stellar. I say go for it, Huffman...you can always take your adopted cousin so that I...er...he can be amused. posted by Bolo | 11:33 PM 3 speakage   Cup of the Morning There's a nice complexity to this cup of Harar this morning. A little fresh ginger in the aroma, a little syrupy fruit on the tongue; it's definitely a Harar, rustic and earthy. I wouldn't say it tastes earthy, though...no, that would more likely be something Indonesian. There's a lot to like about it. I think, however, the cup will be over far too soon. Oh well. On to the next cup! posted by Bolo | 10:28 AM 0 speakage   Abnormality Normal people don't have dreams where they tell others when and where to hyphenate words and phrases, do they? No, I didn't think so. See, Mon, I'm a C! Maybe just a little bit...you know, Makana-sized :) posted by Bolo | 7:08 AM 0 speakage 8.22.2008   Thoughts: Godward Dave reminded me of the love of God the Father yesterday morning. He told me that he looks at his own son, the same son that has sinned in all sorts of ways, grieved his father and mother and will continue to do that and still more, and says to himself, "I love that kid." There's no holding back, no unrealistic expectation that his son will be perfect come morning, no need to conjure up a paternal love for his own child. How much better, more perfect, is the love of God the Father for those whom He has already saved, those upon whom He places no unrealistic expectations for perfection, those to whom He has already granted the perfect righteousness of His own Son? It's much better...much better. posted by Bolo | 6:24 PM 0 speakage 8.21.2008   Bossy Birthday I was just telling Scott and Em the other night that I don't really remember the birthdays of my nieces and nephews any more, but I do remember those of my friends. Do I feel bad about that? No, not really. I mean, I have two nieces and six nephews, whereas I have...what...four friends? Just kidding. Kind of. Anyway, all that to say, Happy Birthday, Boss! Too bad you're not here with me, or I there with you, 'cause then we'd...well...I dunno, do whatever is we would do. Love you, bro :) posted by Bolo | 7:03 PM 0 speakage 8.20.2008   Thoughts I'm wearing a headlamp on my head...right now...in my apartment...using it, too. I love my church, I really do. I could really use a session with the Crew out at Kewalo's...big time. Speaking of the Crew, Mikami is buying tickets! The headlamp is incredibly helpful when nearing the end of a roast. Amongst her interests and passions, who knew that Katie Faye Vaughn would list nose-picking and eyeball-licking? Speaking of which, I find it immensely amusing that the Little People actually asked me if I'd ever really licked an eyeball. The HotTop may soon be on its way. I wonder what Juan would say if we actually put Debbie into the nursery? I told the Little People that while I don't think my tongue has actually made contact with an eyeball, it has tried valiantly to pry apart eyelashes and eyelids. I dig my espresso monkey shirt. The need to write is being stirred very vigorously within me. Mikami's ticket purchasing just went from the present-tense to the past-tense. posted by Bolo | 10:43 PM 0 speakage   News Bite It's morning, folks, it's morning. I generally don't like mornings...they always wake me up. Gah. posted by Bolo | 7:41 AM 2 speakage 8.19.2008   Cup of the Morning In the mug is another batch of dry-processed Koratie, roasted just a shade past 1st crack, with not a whole lot of rest. The lack of body makes the lack of rest pretty evident, but the fruit flavors still "pop" on the tongue...pineapple and other canned fruits come to mind. After several more days of rest, I'll probably get some wild blueberry from this batch. Dee. Freakin'. Lish. posted by Bolo | 9:20 AM 0 speakage   Quotable According to my Google feed, Thomas Aquinas said, "There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship." I prize...I prize. posted by Bolo | 8:16 AM 0 speakage 8.18.2008   Formulaic Reese's Blizzard from Dairy Queen + John Letoto = Happy John Letoto posted by Bolo | 11:10 PM 0 speakage   Crazy Cute I don't care what you say, my niece is still cuter than your niece. I stole this picture as proof. Check out the rest here. posted by Bolo | 7:43 AM 4 speakage   Thoughts: Those Revellers Time spent with the Revell brothers usually consists of several elements, not all of which must be present, but most of which usually are: good food; coffee; a smoke; ice cream. Seriously, when did Mr. R turn into John Revell? Yes, yes, we know you need it in your mug...just go and get it. Hah...they were holding hands! I suppose we're not quite yet at two years, are we? Supposedly I don't have any tattoos, have never met Debbie Revell, don't surf, and am 22. I'll ask you later...maybe. That Americano wasn't bad, was it? I ate those plate of pork chops and potatoes and had the plate of wings on the side, but dang...I've kinda got the munchies. I still wish I had been there for that public roasting...singlehood noted, I'm sure. That image of Young Revell huddled over his Scrabble tiles is suddenly stuck in my head. A smoke with the Sage sounds like a deliciously good time. Speaking of deliciously good times, Maryland comes to mind. posted by Bolo | 12:56 AM 0 speakage 8.17.2008   Ponderance I wrote this over a couple of years ago, and as I read it this morning, it encouraged me, not only because of its content, but because I see that I could have written it this morning: In pondering where the LORD has led me these past weeks, I am consistently reminded that He is not at all ashamed of loving His chosen people, even though we do things to grieve Him. Let me say that again, albeit somewhat differently: despite the fact that I often do things to grieve Him, He is faithful to show me even greater dimensions of His grace in such a way that I am taught over and over again that He loves me, and that that love is shameless. This great love is a delight to Him that is boundless. How can we know this? The price He paid was without measure; the price was Jesus. posted by Bolo | 9:53 AM 0 speakage 8.16.2008   Cup of the Freakin' Century The worst part about that cup of dry-processed Koratie? It wasn't enough. The blueberry was absolutely ridiculous! Jeesh said it just hit him in the face, but Brooks said with his eyes and with his mouth, "It was wild!" I, on the other hand, could only lament my sad fate: an empty cup. posted by Bolo | 6:19 PM 0 speakage 8.15.2008   Thoughts Not that I'm a pet-owning kind of guy, but I do think being able to name animals after elves and coffees would be pretty freakin' sweet. Next Tuesday isn't going to get here fast enough...hurry it up, O'Neal. Blatz and I shared an Olympic Moment...kind of sounds funny, but we'll beat down anyone who laughs. Panamanian Esmeralda Gesha? Dee. Freakin'. Lish. Not only was I recently proclaimed a paragon of paradox, but it was observed earlier today that I can turn a two-minute conversation of little to no significance into a week-long Facebook posting frenzy. LaRue, you're ridiculous. I think yelling "Aurë Entuluva!" as a sort of frisbee battle-cry would be awesome, but I'm not certain that anyone would really get it. Or should, for that matter. Like Butterworth said, Obama only wishes he could do what Michael Phelps did tonight: unite Americans. Apparently, my image is being used on a shirt. posted by Bolo | 11:56 PM 0 speakage   Hymnal Isaac Watts' words seem very, very fitting this morning: Laden with guilt and full of fears, I fly to Thee, my Lord, And not a glimpse of hope appears, But in Thy written Word The volumes of my Father's grace Does all my griefs assuage Here I behold my Savior's face In every page posted by Bolo | 7:47 AM 0 speakage 8.14.2008   Incentive Mr. Mikami, here's a little more incentive for October. Hah...like yours truly isn't enough, right? ;) posted by Bolo | 12:43 PM 2 speakage 8.13.2008   Life's Happenings Sam Lee once told me that the people he'd known in college, the ones that were friends he considered near and dear to him, were people, given ten or fifteen years, that suddenly weren't so close anymore. Some people graduate, some get married, some get jobs, and others simply stop keeping in touch. In short, life happens. Sometimes, when people leave, it hurts. A lot. Others, not so much. Sometimes, you think someone is just going to be white noise in the soundtrack of life. Sometimes, that someone becomes an old favorite you keep going back to, even if you don't know why. That Butterworth guy used to be the little brother I'd pick on, but only just enough to let him know that I kind of liked having him around. For some reason, despite my myriad and unfathomably diverse shortcomings, he still wanted to be my friend. I think I lucked out. When we hung out today, I found myself missing his company. Yeah, I know, it's ironic that that happens while with someone, but for those that have seen friends come and go, you know exactly what I mean. So tonight, after going our separate ways, I came back and read about his little moment in the spotlight, that moment I idiotically missed. Somewhere along the way, he stopped being just another face in the crowd. Somewhere along the way, I realized that Pablo had become one of those people that I really hope will defy Sam's logic. Sure, life will happen, but I'd much rather be there with him when it does. posted by Bolo | 12:57 AM 3 speakage 8.12.2008   He Laughed! When I spent that first night reading The Hobbit, it wasn't at all like a new world was unfolding before me. No, it was as if an old world, an old but favorite friend, one I knew but, quite foolishly, had forgotten all about, was suddenly found once more. When Mon gave me The Fellowship of the Ring for my birthday, I was in love. I clearly remember asking her, "Is Gandalf really dead?" and hoping she would tell me he was still alive, but dreading to hear her say otherwise. When Merry and Pippin met up with Strider, Legolas, and Gimli in The Two Towers, I nearly clapped in delight; indeed, I still do, at every reading. When I first read in The Return of the King about the horns of Rohan blowing wildly, I think I felt a tear slide down my cheek. That part, more than any other, is the one I cherish most in all the many chapters of The Lord of the Rings. Yet, much though I enjoy those books, I must confess, not one of them is my favorite Tolkien work. Indeed, this little excerpt, which comes from The Silmarillion, is very largely responsible for my continued reading of that magnificent -- and favorite -- piece of Tolkien literature: But Thingol looked in silence upon Lúthien; and he thought in his heart: "Unhappy Men, children of little lords and brief kings, shall such as these lay hands on you, and yet live?" Then breaking the silence he said: "I see the ring, son of Barahir, and I perceive that you are proud, and deem yourself mighty. But a father's deeds, even had his service been rendered to me, avail not to win the daughter of Thingol and Melian. See now! I too desire a treasure that is withheld. For rock and steel and the fires of Morgoth keep the jewel that I would possess against all the powers of the Elf-kingdoms. Yet I hear you say that bonds such as these do not daunt you. Go your way therefore! Bring to me in your hand a Silmaril from Morgoth's crown; and then, if she will, Lúthien may set her hand in yours. Then you shall my jewel; and though the fate of Arda lie within the Silmarils, yet you shall hold me generous." Thus he wrought the doom of Doriath, and was ensnared within the curse of Mandos. And those that heard these words perceived that Thingol would save his oath, and yet send Beren to his death; for they knew that not all the power of the Noldor, before the Siege was broken, had availed even to see from afar the shining Silmarils of Fëanor. For they were set in the Iron Crown, and treasured in Angband above all wealth; and Balrogs were about them, and countless swords, and strong bars, and unassailable walls, and the dark majesty of Morgoth. But Beren laughed. "For little price," he said, "do Elven-kings sell their daughters: for gems, and things made by craft. But if this be your will, Thingol, I will perform it. And when we meet again my hand shall hold a Silmaril from the Iron Crown; for you have not looked last upon Beren son of Barahir." posted by Bolo | 11:56 PM 2 speakage 8.11.2008   Peace Out, Yo This old dude got posted last summer, but he deserves another go. I mean, if this doesn't make you laugh, or at the very least, smile, I don't know what to tell you. posted by Bolo | 10:46 PM 2 speakage   Fatality The French Press is dead. Well, the latest one. It lasted nearly a year, pressing out somewhere around six hundred or so batches of delicious buzz buzz brew. It was a good press, it was. I'll miss it, I will. I already miss it, in fact. Bye bye, French Press, faithful friend, I shall miss you so. posted by Bolo | 8:46 AM 5 speakage 8.10.2008   What I Dig This is gonna sound weird, but I dig the way the light hits their pants. That is all. posted by Bolo | 5:39 PM 0 speakage 8.09.2008   Thoughts I feel a distinct disconnect for having not seen one iota of the Olympics thus far. When you're a dude and you're tagged in pictures on Facebook, a furrowing of the brow is to be expected when all you see in those pictures is a distinctly female human with a frisbee in her hands. Esmeralda Gesha is here! Aren't Mr. and Mrs. Winn in God's Country? It's nearly 7:30 in the evening, and I'm just now enjoying my first cup of coffee for the day. Remember, if you crash and burn, don't blame me for poor wingmanship. It's almost scary how much the girls of IBC want to play frisbee now...good scary, though. When was the last time you chewed your coffee? There is only one Prime Minister of Parts & Pineapples. I need another session of play-by-play, Boss. How was the conference, 'Drew? posted by Bolo | 7:29 PM 0 speakage 8.08.2008   I'm Tracking I'm waiting for Esmeralda Gesha, and UPS tracking doesn't have anything better to say than "OUT FOR DELIVERY". Gah! posted by Bolo | 2:18 PM 4 speakage   Quotable "This entire conversation could be a doctoral thesis in abnormal psychology." -Iverson Warinner, commenting on the dialogue taking place between him and yours truly posted by Bolo | 1:11 AM 0 speakage   Coffee Crazed For those of you who think I'm a wee bit obsessive about those roasted beans and the beverages they produce, I want you to read the following bits and pieces of my thoughts on coffee, as my aim is to further my claim that I'm not just a wee bit obsessive about coffee, but that I'm incredibly and ridiculously in love with coffee. In its purest and best forms, coffee should not need additives, such as milk or sugar, in order to be enjoyed. If anything, such additives mask the naturally-occurring sugars which are present in a high-quality, well-roasted bean, and were originally used to hide defects in lesser-quality beans or bad roasts. In the end, a good cup of coffee ought to be able to stand on its own, without the aid of additives, and will have flavors that are downright enjoyable. Get a good grinder. If anyone is serious about good coffee, they'll pay attention to their ability to grind freshly-roasted coffee to an even grind that is appropriate for whatever brewing method is being employed. The reason for this is that over or under-extraction will occur if coffee is not evenly ground, which can result in sour or bitter flavors being extracted out of an otherwise perfectly good bean. What does a good grinder consist of? At the very least, start with a conical burr grinder. Be warned, however, as they can be pricey! Chew your coffee. I'm serious. No, not the beans or the grounds, though this would be acceptable, too. When you sip your coffee, make sure it's cool enough to rest on your tongue, then actually chew on the coffee with your molars. As you do this, be sure to breathe in and out through your nose, paying particular attention to the scents you'll pick up as you breathe out. If what you're drinking is any good, you'll take notice. Trust me. If it's not, well, I didn't tell you to drink anything from the folks in the green aprons. Woops...low blow. A good barista cares about what he or she is serving you, and he or she wants feedback. Tell the person behind the counter if the drink isn't up to snuff. Are the shots sour? Bitter? Did they nail the pull so perfectly that they can hang up their apron for the day and go home? Tell them, and they'll appreciate it. If they don't, they don't belong behind the counter. A cup of coffee is best when hot, right? Not necessarily. Various flavors emerge as the cup cools, and quite frankly, many of the most vivid and pleasant flavors will be present once the cup proceeds from warm to lukewarm to downright cool. Seriously. Think of it this way: different temperatures bring out different flavors. posted by Bolo | 1:05 AM 4 speakage 8.07.2008   Cup of the Morning The dry-process Koratie had been the coffee du jour for some time, but I'd gone away from it in lieu of trying out some other roasts, particularly the wet-process Koratie. Quite happily, I'm back to it. I'm consistently struck by how much fruit surges through the senses from this little cup, especially at the lighter roast stages, as this one is. The mouthfeel even has a winey, dry finish, almost like I'm sipping on a wine or a beer. Wow! posted by Bolo | 8:57 AM 2 speakage 8.06.2008   Archival I find myself looking back and reading what I've written before as a source of encouragement. Tonight, my reading took me here, here, and here. posted by Bolo | 11:04 PM 0 speakage 8.05.2008   Linkage A must-read for those who love diamonds. No, not those kinds of diamonds, silly. Hmmm...interesting. Yes, those decimal points are in the right places. Makes me wanna go out and play. posted by Bolo | 10:45 PM 0 speakage 8.04.2008   Just Face It posted by Bolo | 11:59 PM 0 speakage   Thoughts There's nothing quite like lots and lots of sleep after two days of lots and lots of sprinting in lots and lots of heat. I seriously hope his comeback isn't a circus, because if it is, and he doesn't do anything to add to the ridiculously legendary career he's already had, it'll just be...sad...at least he can't wear #45. As much as I don't want to know what that cheer really means, I'm kind of curious, too. I'd give a lot for a day with my nephews right now. If there's anyone alive that can tell me off the top of their heads the genealogical significance of the original Boromir, I'll be incredibly impressed. Greatly disturbed, mind you, but still incredibly impressed. I'm hungry. Brian Regan in a sermon, eh? There's nothing quite like seeing the goofy grin on Blatz's face after he catches that disc to end a tournament. Well, maybe it's the half-circle run with that goofy grin on his face. I called her last month...I should be good for another couple of weeks at least. posted by Bolo | 2:52 AM 2 speakage 8.03.2008   Swilled Oh. For. Six. Grrr. On the flip side, LouEVIL rocked out and took home the title in their hometown tournament, and it was quite pleasurable to watch from the sidelines and see some good, solid ultimate being played. posted by Bolo | 6:25 PM 5 speakage 8.02.2008   Egging Oh and four. I wrote it like that 'cause it doesn't look so bad if it's not numerically recorded...gah. We stank. posted by Bolo | 9:28 PM 0 speakage   Word Hosea 3 Then the LORD said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the LORD loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes." So I bought her for myself for fifteen shekels of silver and a home and a half of barley. Then I said to her, "You shall stay with me for many days. You shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man; so I will also be toward you." For the sons of Israel will remain for many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred pillar and without ephod or household idols. Afterward the sons of Israel will return and seek the LORD their God and David their king; and they will come trembling to the LORD and to His goodness in the last days. Almost two years ago now, I wrote these words: It's an absolutely insane thing to think of Hosea's pain. I cannot imagine the bitterness and hopelessness God's commands must have stirred within his heart. Yet, how profound a purpose for his marriage! Hosea shared in Christ's sufferings in a unique fashion, foreshadowing the suffering and hope of the cross, making vulnerable the heart of the Almighty, revealing a depth of compassion in the shared suffering of unrequited love. This summer, I was given much opportunity to ponder the love of God, namely, its nature, dimension, beauty, glory, and steadfastness. I would sit for what seemed hours, meandering through the height and depth and length and breadth of His love. I would ask God why He loved me, trying to make some sense of it all. What often helped was looking at the seemingly foolish love seen in Hosea: God chose to love us, and we're to accept it in all its infinite facets. We had no beauty to us, no merit to our actions, no righteousness in our hearts; we were truly the wife of harlotry. In pondering the depths of God's love and the diverse manners He communicates that love to us, I'm always silenced by the beauty of His long-suffering patience. He does not merely wait for us, He suffers for His bride. The cost of pursuing and redeeming His bride is a cost we do not merit, a cost that He pays with hope and joy. Yes, Christ does indeed long with intense passion for the glorious revelation of His bride! Should we not do the same, knowing that He has changed us from the shameful adulterer to the one betrothed to Him in righteousness and faithfulness, never to turn again from Him to our former lovers, forevermore to live with Him as His beloved bride? This morning, I feel quite keenly the pain and perspective of one of those characters: Israel. Just as Gomer was loved by a faithful husband who shamelessly shames himself to redeem her, so Israel has a faithful Savior who has borne all of my sin and shame. The irony is that it's so hard for me, just like Israel, to bear Him as such a Savior, such a kind, gentle Savior who redeems me and does not shy away from my wretchedness and continues to woo me back in my tendency to wander. Thank you, LORD, for loving me. posted by Bolo | 7:14 AM 0 speakage   MegaDoLishUs: Who Caught That? I'm still not sure who came down with that disc... posted by Bolo | 6:22 AM 0 speakage 8.01.2008   Being Kevin Arnold My wise thought for the decade: every guy has a Winnie Cooper. Mikami agrees with me on that one, so it's got to be true. posted by Bolo | 10:43 PM 1 speakage   Just Swell? No, Swill! Come watch us play tomorrow and Sunday: Swill in the 'Ville '08 posted by Bolo | 9:29 PM 0 speakage   Many Meetings You, Andrew, above all others, will appreciate what Josh Ryherd recently told me: "I asked Joshua Harris last month if he had ever met you, and he responded with a quizzical look on his face, 'I think so. Would he have given me a pineapple by chance?' " Actually, Jim would get a pretty big kick out of it, too. posted by Bolo | 8:29 AM 2 speakage   Lit Up More old stuff. posted by Bolo | 7:52 AM 0 speakage Dell Coupons		Daily Coffee Sweet Maria's James Hoffmann Theologous Desiring God Ministries Monergism Discerning Reader Albert Mohler, Jr. Russell Moore 9 Marks Play Jock Think Laugh Foxtrot User Friendly Learn National Geographic Geek out. Again.   Read Paint Prayer Pleasures Commune Galactic Wabbit Great Listen Jack Finished Discover Tones of Fleck Step In the Arms Smashing Thinking Visualize Facebook Albums (Updated 3/21/2007) Blogging Buddies Homeage Gary Uch Boss Kev Goose Mark Rich Sanchez Mon & Dave Leo Barb Brit The 'Villeage O'Neals Jim Hilliard Pablo Butterworth the Younger Nikki Lefty Ashlea Parris Cavies Calvinaugh Weenie & Elizabeth Owen T4G Tim Bob Josh Christman Szrama Ryherd Brandt Hutch FYI FYI TV CMac Maiden Dana Dubya Old School Memories Faith... Wonder... Empty Snaps Manna The Misses Character Me Me Bug Me smeagolisfree@gmail.com AIM: MrToto2U Facebook Yore 03.2003 / 04.2003 / 05.2003 / 06.2003 / 07.2003 / 08.2003 / 09.2003 / 10.2003 / 11.2003 / 12.2003 / 01.2004 / 02.2004 / 03.2004 / 04.2004 / 05.2004 / 06.2004 / 07.2004 / 08.2004 / 09.2004 / 10.2004 / 11.2004 / 12.2004 / 01.2005 / 02.2005 / 03.2005 / 04.2005 / 05.2005 / 06.2005 / 07.2005 / 08.2005 / 09.2005 / 10.2005 / 11.2005 / 12.2005 / 01.2006 / 02.2006 / 03.2006 / 04.2006 / 05.2006 / 06.2006 / 07.2006 / 08.2006 / 09.2006 / 10.2006 / 11.2006 / 12.2006 / 01.2007 / 02.2007 / 03.2007 / 04.2007 / 05.2007 / 06.2007 / 07.2007 / 08.2007 / 09.2007 / 10.2007 / 11.2007 / 12.2007 / 01.2008 / 02.2008 / 03.2008 / 04.2008 / 05.2008 / 06.2008 / 07.2008 / 08.2008 / 09.2008 / 10.2008 / 11.2008 / 12.2008 / 01.2009 / 02.2009 / 03.2009 / 04.2009 / 05.2009 / 06.2009 / 07.2009 / 08.2009 / 09.2009 / Factuality I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've got five nephews and two nieces. Quotatious "I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it." -Ryan Szrama "I'm trying to be regenerate." -Ivy Warriner "Pink is pink. Peach is not pink." -Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband "How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today." -John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate "I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People like that don't deserve to win it." -Michael Butterworth "I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many marriages I go through." -Katie Mohler "However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to you.'" -Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little incident which we do not name "He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety, but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get married for twelve more years?'" -Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father "So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka." -Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming "Ok, he walks loudly." -Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs" "Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas." -Ryan Szrama "I have a way with old women." -Josh Reid "Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It wasn't sweet, it was creepy." -Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't given "I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain." -Katie Mohler "Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped worrying about updating the score list." -Ryan Szrama, commenting on his alma mater's basketball team "What can go wrong on Appreciate a Dragon Day?" -Lori Wanman "Do you enjoy making people feel retarded? You behave like that is your job in life." -Jessica Cimato "Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?" -Peter Sieg "Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests." -Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months of pastoring at IBC have been "If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned marooned Moon." -Michael Jenkins "Can we call you 'Special Dark'?" -Stephen Mobley "Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip." -Me, on how to order water at Starbucks "It's you to an unsanctified T." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It's like a workout, having a conversation with you." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "I shot the French Press..." -Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff "Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!" -Off White "Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!" -Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend "It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in 4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it yet.'" -Catherine Huffman "It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since you took Geometry." -Peter Sieg, to me "You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we both blame your camera." -Catherine Huffman "You're going to die soon, anyway." -Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday "I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver." -Stephen Mobley "It's likely but unlikely." -Ben Hedrick "There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto." -Jessica Vaughn "The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'" -Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh "Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?" -Ben Hedrick "It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?" -Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know what car she drives?" "High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!" -Josh Reid "Man, she's finer than a frog hair!" -Josh Reid "I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'" -Heather Seagle "Where's my phone?" -Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone "Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I don't get kicked." -Me "Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a close call!" -Dana W "I don't want to see this on your blog." -Ryan Fullerton "John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle, here is his frown." -Ben Hedrick "Oh shutup, voicemail person!" -Stephen Mobley " 'P' as in 'purgatory.' " -Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call "You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry." -Stephen Mobley "Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than say, Katie Mohler." -Johanna Tollefson "You just called me a chunker!" -Christin Simpson "We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.' " -Peter Sieg "My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist." -Christin Simpson "How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' " -Christin Simpson "Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how he peed in worship, it confused me." -Katie Mohler "Yes, I'm precious and all that." -Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment "Do you have a numerical number for that?" -Stephen Mobley "I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that." -Peter Sieg "That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it." -Stephen Mobley "Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other non-contiguous U.S. states." -Stephen Mobley "In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time." -Christin Simpson "They never know whether to come out the front or the back." -Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes "I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'." -Andy Lowe "Could you translate that out of Letototian?" -Lauren Farmer "Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles moments lately." -Me "I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking." -Michael Butterworth "She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't big-boned, she was Hispanic." -Ryan Szrama "More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster." -Allison Poplin "Mmm, Chapstick!" -Allison Poplin "It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a headstand in a ditch." -Christin Simpson "The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is admitting I'm a stupid haole." -Christine Robertson "I said 'teached,' man!" -Christin Simpson "I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom." -Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly "Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!" -Thomas Amos "Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple years older.' " -Anonymous "He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!" -Me "Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear." -Dr. Mohler "I've got fans all over." -Lauren Farmer "I'm having my own personal hot flash right now." -Bobby House "Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is actually with a woman!" -Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog "Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of." -Pablo Butterworth "I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the Servant Towel award by taking me or something?" -Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet "I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all." -Christin Simpson "The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate." -Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream "Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!" -Amanda Ledbetter "I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier to understand." -Dr. Joslin, on women "One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active social life, or she's just fat." -Richard B. Hardison "You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly. Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that turns out." -Jon "Jew" Borofsky "Are you dressing Katie Mohler?" -R. Lauren Duncan "They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?" -Andrew "I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches." -Michael Butterworth "I really like the smell of gasoline." -Katie Mohler "You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out and take the elevator." -Bobby House "But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you." -Nick Crouse "Gomez, you're Hispanic?" -Matt Svoboda "'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?" -Lauren Farmer "You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke." -Moon Pie Godfrey "It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!" -Lauren Farmer "I've had the passion, I just need the purity." -Emily Dick "I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right? Letoto's going to be there!'" -Warren Kesselring "I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put on lots of flannel." -Ricky Hardison "You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?" -Sarah Cress "So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones." -Christin Simpson "I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks." -Emily O'Neal "I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time." -Taryn Walker "You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College." -Michael Butterworth "Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white." -Cole Harper "I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'" -Emily Dick "I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have boyish charm." -Jeff Pearson "If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart, it's a bad idea." -David Borreson "Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!" -Chriyus Davis "When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' " -Chriyus Davis "What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here." -Lauren Farmer "I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?" -Andrew, talking about his father's birthday. "What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?" -Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she went to look up what he meant "Stop flashing everyone!" -Carla "I didn't know I was going to see everything!" -Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth "Which would suck!" -Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in heaven...before his marriage "Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?" -Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes "I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a good tree to climb by Mullins." -Michael Butterworth "You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts." -Scott O'Neal "It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger." -Andrew "And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!" -Emily Dick "Is Scott the white-haired guy?" -Brandon Stern "The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I really hope I don't fart." -Kristy White "Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin." -Katy Cavaliere "I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs." -Andrew "Stretch" Holley "And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that." -Scott O'Neal "I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart." -Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo "I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people, why I wasn't married." -Christine Robertson "Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol' woman with a 'fro." -Chriyus Davis "Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think that's romantic." -Lauren Farmer "We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity." -Lauren Farmer "Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense, you may have hit the skin on the head." -Me, to Matt Teves "Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!" -Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning "Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot." -Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat "Who's the brown one?" -Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus "A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say or do is not a world I want to live in." -Michael Butterworth "Abby marches to the beat of her own flute." -Scott O'Neal "I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee." -Jennifer Miller "What's a 'good game'?" -Katie Mohler "Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I used to give myself french manicures with it." -R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper "It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails." -Trey Fuller "How do you think that small?" -Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting "I like to curl up in the bathroom." -Pablo Butterworth "I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's not a universal song, it's in a different language." -R. Lauren Duncan "We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!" -A.D. "I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place." -Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message "Sounds like a bladder control problem." -Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during dorm meeting "Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?" -Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey Cashell "So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward." -R. Lauren Duncan, about...something "Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!" -Boss "When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a different matter altogether." -Scott O'Neal "That's too much chocolate for you!" -Bobby House III "Dude, there's a lot of white people up here." -Kawika, on being in Indiana "This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp." -Sandi, on the sermons at their church "I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male." -Heidi Marlene Johnson "Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know, that ninja look." -Lisa, to me "You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!" -A certain manager at a certain store "He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count. You're right, he is the only guy we've got." -A certain coworker at a certain store. "She's the manliest girl I know." -Christina Thompson "Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're better looking than most of the guys here." -Nathan Fulllerton "Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed kids together." -Scott O'Neal "How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that Uch is off the market." -Goose "It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!" -Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate "I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'" -Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to take over the airsoft world "You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get Government Service out of John." -Goose "Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months." -Goose "Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!" -Boss "How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes." -Jeff Cavanaugh "Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk." -Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk "I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke." -Joel Gasparotto, to me "No. But several kids." -Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?" "I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..." -Me "I think these are unthawed." -Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken "You mean frozen?" -Matt Crawford, in response to Scott "Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!" -Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain Hawaiian "He's the closest thing to Black I got here!" -Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian was the most ethnically similar person at the camp "Nice body!" -Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball "I could take you...to a movie." -Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students present "It's my bladder!" -Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang "John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I." -Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or imagined) I have upon them "At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'" -Me "Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what I wrote up there." -Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger "Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day." -Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania "Did he sound winded?" -Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night... "Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!" -Boss "I don't do that, that would be too unmanly." -Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails "More of an acquired taste than kim chee." -Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music "That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed with Shirley Temples." -Christin Simpson "Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are odd' girl." -Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her blossoming reputation "Hurry, before the smears come out!" -Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall "All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait" -Andrew Strickland, while leading worship "She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her." -Lisa "I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better bed partner now." -R. Lauren Duncan "I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!" -One of the Brownies from Willow "I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!" -Same Brownie "Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!" -Drunk Brownie from Willow "No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher." -Gary "It's probably providential." -Chip Collins "One more wave." -Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air "Well basically..." -James McCray "I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground." -RAM, Jr. "If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing her away from all the decent guys." -Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away "Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome." -Dr. Mohler "Hey! How are you doing?" -Rob Smythe "I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in the bathroom!" -Boss "So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?" -Aaron Filippone "The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me." -Darren Thomas "Hairy in the face and chest?" -Me, in response to Darren "Oh, cuss word!" -Moon Pie "If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize." -Pablo Butterworth "These *are* my dress socks. They're clean." -Goose "Before the throne of God above..." -Jonathan Leeman...singing "I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane." -Michelle "Piss on a biscuit!" -Fritzy "I saw Toto, and he's black!" -R. Lauren Duncan "You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail." -Pablo Butterworth "I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there." -Jordan Cole "Can she have a man?" -Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie "I am irresistible to men..." -Poenie Tree "Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!" -AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite "Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?" -Tyler Ratliff "She shook his butt before she shook his hand!" -Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce "Would you look at that BUTT?" -Pablo Butterworth "It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards." -Pablo Butterworth "He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us, sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives or anything.)" -Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce "Paul, I think we should mate." -Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of Psychiatrist "You're classic, not metro." -Elizabeth Foster "I need ocean." -Me "Oh, I have some!" -R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me "Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two completely different things." -Dr. Draper "The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!" -Chris...something "I hated you when I first met you." -Scott O'Neal "Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..." -Pablo Butterworth "Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going to die teaching and I want to be there for it." -Pablo Butterworth "I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise." -Pablo Butterworth "I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out." -Michael Butterworth "I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive." -Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth "Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How did you become sexy?' " -Pablo Butterworth "Stop vacuuming my crack!" -Chris Sellers "That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any taller..." -Melissa Hermoso "You smell like my mom!" -Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "It's Allure for *men*, people!" -Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!" -Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair "We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down." -Michael Butterworth "I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials." -Billy Reddick "You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder." -Kristina Pelhank, to me "I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen, and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen floor.' " -Pablo Butterworth "You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into trouble, and yours gets you out of it." -Aaron Coffey, to me "The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing." -Michael Butterworth "Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!" -Sarah El-Masri "I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play XBox all night long, baby!" -Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit "Please stalk me at your earliest convienence." -Sarah Cress "There's a two year-old flirting with me!" -Ashlea Davenport "I used to have a neck, then something happened." -Bobby House "Can I buy three blacks from you?" -Pablo Butterworth "Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep." -Chip Collins "You're the ugly girl!" -Candace Boyd "No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!" -Scott O'Neal and me "I grew up with that but in Spanish." -Liz Mejia "One day the three of us will be married!" -R. Lauren Duncan "We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And, he was BIG!" -Matty Teves "Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's right...............the Holy Spirit." -Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something "That's a good length, that's pettable." -R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head "There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size." -Kristy Miller "Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!" -Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball "Mr. Herringbone understands." -Katie Mohler "Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?" -Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by Katie Mohler "Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type in, 'butt,' and you come up." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "The chocolate chip in the cookie." -Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our family "I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk." -Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8 white guys "I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!" -Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere "So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking and it startled me." -Sarah Cress "Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Jane!" -Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan "I went sniffing once." -Katie Mohler "Can you use that in a definition?" -Sarah Cress "Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's shopping again." -R. Lauren Duncan "They had her fork here and I ate it." -R. Lauren Duncan "What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Every outfit you wear is a statement." -Scott O'Neal "Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?" -Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at Southeast Christian Church "He likes to sit in my drawers." -R. Lauren Duncan "It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate." -James Losey, about me "I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!" -Heidi Marlene Johnson "I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus." -Me "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in that order." -Pablo Butterworth "I eat soap for breakfast." -Sarah Cress "I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway." -Rob Smythe "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." -Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects "Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something." -Janal Prybys "More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing." -Pablo Butterworth "I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock." -Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish "This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high." -Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person "Hold me like you used to." -Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated "This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably retarded." -Jessica Cimato "And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash." -Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood "Oh, I love that movie!" -Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson "They have male stores?" -Katie Mohler "She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal." -R. Lauren Duncan "You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook." -Michael Butterworth "Yes, it's my purse." -James Losey "There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has been inflicted with The Terror!" -Kristina Pelhank "You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk away, but for some strange reason, I can't." -Sarah Cress "John gave me a good wedgie." -Pablo Butterworth "I won't say whoooole falsehoods..." -Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok "I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet." -Michael Butterworth "God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love." -Michael Butterworth "This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you." -Rob Smythe "Next year you'll be in the zoo." -Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey "I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up undergrad chicks, too." -Michael Butterworth "I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those blue nasty ones." -R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman, when speaking of it being blue and nasty "Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?" -R. Lauren Duncan "May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much', because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day." -Jessica Cimato "'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly." -R. Lauren Duncan "I have some ligament in the car." -R. Lauren Duncan "I lost it from all the throwing up I did." -R. Lauren Duncan "He's a Filipino knockoff!" -David Brandt, commenting on me "No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!" -Chris Sellers "You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?" -Sarah El-Masri, to me "You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about girls, you're never going to get married." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's older than you." -Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer "She's not the kind of guy you'd go for." -Me "I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow." -Jessica Cimato, to me "From this angle, I can see everything!" -Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt "Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?" -R. Lauren Duncan, to me "If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer." -Pablo Butterworth "You are not going to put that on Facebook!" -Pablo Butterworth "I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts." -Nick Crouse "They're *macadamia* nuts!" -Ryan Travis "Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They charge you nine dollars an hour!" -Brian Buck "Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?" -Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage Hall "Are you ok? I just wet my pants." -R. Lauren Duncan "I just want to marry a pastor." -Blind Brandon