7.30.2004
Employee Benefits
Still...tired...very...weary. I think I've reached the point where I can stay awake or fall asleep at any point during the day, without any need to prep myself for sleep. The familiar low-level burning sensation has been present in my eyeballs all week long, and it seems like there's no point of letting up, at least until sometime tomorrow evening...if that. Still, my 62 hours of work this week will help with that tuition. God is indeed good!
But, all that aside, I'm enjoying work. I've been working the mornings at LG&E this week and last, and I'll continue to do so through next week, when my school schedule will demand otherwise. The ladies in the company keep me well-fed throughout the day, so it's definitely been a rewarding shift to work :) Tricia and Lisa in payroll brought me grapes...Mrs. Whelan offered me some cake...Karla brought me some chili...Deborah got a full breakfast spread this morning (bacon, link sausages, eggs, french toast, and a blueberry muffin)...aaahhhhh, life is good!
Hopefully, I'll be awake for the softball game tonight. I still gotta get some sleep in before our 8:30 start time. Maybe I'll doze right here in the computer lab...it's one of the few places on campus I haven't fallen asleep in yet ;)
posted by Bolo |
2:34 PM
0 speakage
7.29.2004
Chowder House
One thing I love about Scott O'Neal: he doesn't compromise. When we talked the other night, he told me, "you know what I miss about being gone for the summer? I miss hitting guys in the throat with accountability." Aaahhh...I miss having that, too :)
Last night was Messy Games Night at our Wednesday night youth group gathering. Little John was the guest speaker, which was a cool surprise for me, 'cause I didn't know he was going to be there. He told the kids the story about when I walked into his apartment one night (about 1 in the morning), and hopped onto their computer. He walked out with a gun and nearly sent me to Jesus :)
That wasn't even the best part of the evening, though. That designation definitely goes to the messy games, which had kids covered (not to mention ingesting) in chocolate syrup, baby food, spaghetti sauce, flour, and water. Several of them nearly barfed, and one actually did go to the Chowder House...three times! Niiiiice!
posted by Bolo |
2:56 PM
0 speakage
7.26.2004
Foolishness!
You know what? I'm a fool. My mom would say, "don't say that! The words of your mouth..." She always would say something like that. But I mean what I said...I'm a fool. If I were wise, God would shame me, would He not? Absolutely! But that's not I'm talking about here. No, what I speak of is this: Jesus said that His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. The yoke was what they used to work the fields with the oxen; one ox would bear the yoke with another, and not only would the burden be shared between the two, but if one were prone to straying, the other could keep it on track. In this manner, the fields were tilled. So it is with us and Jesus. We are wayward, yet He is the one who bears the burden, and it is He who keeps us on track.
Yet my foolishness overwhelms me! I want to live my life under my terms, under my strength, hoping I'll gain Jesus' praise. Foolishness! To what end? *Sigh*...I pull the yoke on my own, toiling endlessly and wearily, hoping that somehow my work will delight the heart of God.
Life should be really simple, when you get right down to it. We're to follow Christ in obedience...what He says should go. But oh, how foolishly I stray from that! I'll take on various tasks or titles, thinking that they give my life significance. They add to the weight of the yoke and cause the work to go astray. I'll pull away from where Christ is leading; soon, I'm not even doing something that holds the appearance of righteousness. A friend of mine just told me that I "look good," refering to my current attire. The thought that popped into my mind? Looks can be deceiving. I say that not to be cynical, but to check myself. Am I deceptive? Am I putting myself under the yoke of Christ? Am I allowing Him to bear my burdens, to lead me in His way and His time? *Sigh*...yes, I'm a fool. But it's a good thing that God loves this fool, you know?
posted by Bolo |
2:36 PM
0 speakage
7.25.2004
Mood Point
Last night at work, I was in a rather melancholy-reflective-not quite moody-uncertain-pensive-eureka phenomena prone sort of mood. Surprise, surprise, eh? Yeah right. Why such a state? I'm not sure.
I thought a lot about the males in my family...I realized that out of all the people back home, I miss and worry about them the most. Pops...Leo...Kawika...Kyle...Kason...and now, Jeff. How, you ask, did I come to this conclusion? It was Kason, really. There's no reason I should miss one nephew more than the other, save for the fact that Kason's age dictates that he grows and changes at a much faster rate than Kyle will, for the time being. But that's just it. I think of all those males...and in each of them, I see my weaknesses mirrored, I see them fleshed out...I see possibilities for my futre. Does that sound strange? It does to me. Anyway, back to Kason. The little guy is at a point where he's most moldable. And you know what? I hate the fact that I'm not there. Does he have a solid spiritual example to look up to, one that he can pattern his life after? *Sigh*...I'd be lying to myself if I said he does. In myself, I've seen the effects of that lack. In my brother, those effects are vivid. In Kyle, I see them starting to form. In my father...*sigh*...I wonder if it's too late. I know I know...it's never too late. Still, my heart wonders...and hopes...yet it's filled with doubts. Even more, it doubts itself.
So that's why I miss them. I think. It's one of those things where I see the stages, I see the path they've all taken, and Kason still has most of his path left before him. They all have hope, really, but it's the little guy that reminds me most of the preciousness of fathering, of discipleship, of walking in holiness. In myself, I see how my walk is unholy, and I shudder to think of the repurcussions those current failures will have down the line, perhaps even to my own children (double shudderage). Yet, God's grace is sufficient, and we have a hope beyond this world.
Whew...I told you my thoughts were melancholy-reflective-not quite moody-uncertain-pensive-eureka phenomena prone-ish. That post ended up being a lot more...well...open than I had originally thought it would be. So be it :)
posted by Bolo |
5:38 PM
0 speakage
7.24.2004
Assurance...how blessed
Thoughts as of late have run toward assurance...namely, the assurance of salvation. The summer's been rough, I'll not deny. What will often seem to be an ascent out of the muck and mire of my failures and doubts often turns into yet another downward cycle as I say to myself, "oh, what the heck," and dive right back in. It's been a humbling process, and one I've had to learn to stare in the face. Thus, the doubts of salvation come as no surprise. Bear in mind, it's not a doubt that has me utterly forsaking all faith; rather, it's a doubt that leaves the fullness of joy seemingly empty.
However, God is faithful. This time of numb despair has produced a meditation on salvation, in particular the preservation that God has for His chosen ones. It's reminded me of Christ's work...how complete it is, how full of hope it is, and how unashamedly merciful God is through it. I can't quite capture what that reminder exactly does for my heart and my mind. Still, I'm glad God is doing what He's doing...I can't quite explain it, 'cause I don't quite grasp it, but maybe when I do, I'll blog it.
posted by Bolo |
7:46 AM
0 speakage
7.21.2004
Linkage...in they key of i(z)
iTunes...Wired gives props to Iz.
iPod...Boyce should be doing this. Hey, I can dream, can't I?
posted by Bolo |
4:57 PM
0 speakage
To quote...
"For he loves Thee too little who loves anything together with Thee, which he loves not for Thy sake."
That's what St. Augustine said...oh...a long, long time ago. It's something I read a long time ago, and read again just a few moments ago, and hopefully, I'll be thinking about it for more than just a few moments more. Essentially, he was saying that if I love anything but do not love it for God's sake, I do not love God rightly. The problem I have with his assertion is not whether or not he's right (because he is), but which side of his Augustine's statement I fall on. Oh, it's inevitable that I'll love things in a manner that does not include the Lord. But how tender is my heart toward that truth? How deeply do I desire to love the Lord with all my heart? The problem I have with his assertion is not its truthfulness, but the manner in which it applies to me. Hmmm...it seems like all truth is like that, when you get right down to it.
posted by Bolo |
4:33 PM
0 speakage
7.16.2004
My Legacy
I'm sitting in the computer lab, listening to Chris Tomlin's live version of Take My Life...it's track 10 on Passion's album from OneDay03. Jim told me that every time Tiffany listens to it, she listens for the scream. It's a rather piercing scream, one that punches through the stilled silence that accompanies the end of the song. That scream is my scream. I mean, it's my scream. My vocal chords produced that scream. Jim had told Tiffany that little tidbit when she was here in January for the New Attitude conference, and she still hasn't forgotten it. I guess it's a legacy of sorts :)
posted by Bolo |
4:42 PM
0 speakage
Long Lost Leeman
Leeman and I were sitting in his office on Wednesday...just talking...like so many times before. He asked how I was doing, and I told him that this summer's been rough in some ways, good in others. Rough because I'd noticed in the past few weeks that a lot of the things I'd been doing were being done just for the sake of doing them. That doesn't necessarily sound so bad, until I reflected on the very reason I'm here. Ultimately, I'm here to enjoy God...to seek Him...to obey Him and delight in Him. I told him I didn't think I was really doing that. At least, I'd forgotten that in doing the "little things" of life. There have been a lot of distractions, things to take my focus away from the real reason I'm here...the reason for my life. I thought of the upcoming school year as well, and told Jonathan that somewhere during the summer, my wanting the school year to hurry up and get here wasn't so much because I was looking forward to that new season, but rather, I was looking for a distraction from the pain and frustration of the current one. Not good. If I'm not enjoying God here and now, what makes me think I'll enjoy him any more one month from now, when there'll be over a hundred new students at Boyce, in addition to all the returning ones? In essence, my life has to look the same, no matter the circumstance. My motives...my delights...my hopes...my convictions...they should all be the same, whether or not other people are watching, whether or not I think other people are being affected (they always are).
That was to be my last meeting with Jonathan for a really long time. He's leaving today...if things are still going as planned, he's driving up to Wisconsin to visit a friend, then down to Dallas to see his parents. After that, he'll swing through here once more to pack up some stuff, then he'll be on his way to D.C. to do some editing on Dever's latest book. Will he be back? He doesn't know yet...I certainly don't. It's crazy...people come and go, and only when they're on the verge of leaving do you try to find the words to say, only to find words don't work the way you wish they did. Silly humans :)
My adventure through the book of Hebrews continues. I was reading earlier this week and once more this morning through the last portion of chapter 12. Check it out:
25 See to it that you do not refuse Him who is speaking. For if those did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, much less will we escape who turn away from Him who warns from heaven. 26 And His voice shook the earth then, but now He has promised, saying, "YET ONCE MORE I WILL SHAKE NOT ONLY THE EARTH, BUT ALSO THE HEAVEN." 27 This expression, "Yet once more," denotes the removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which cannot be shaken may remain. 28 Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; 29 for our God is a consuming fire. When you look up the source for the Old Testament quotation in verse 26, you're taken to Haggai 2. The passage is amazing, simply because you see how the fulfilment of what God is saying is far, far beyond what the Israelites would or could have imagined.
1 On the twenty-first of the seventh month, the word of the LORD came by Haggai the prophet saying, 2 "Speak now to Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Joshua the son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to the remnant of the people saying, 3 'Who is left among you who saw this temple in its former glory? And how do you see it now? Does it not seem to you like nothing in comparison? 4 'But now take courage, Zerubbabel,' declares the LORD, 'take courage also, Joshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and all you people of the land take courage,' declares the LORD, 'and work; for I am with you,' declares the LORD of hosts. 5 'As for the promise which I made you when you came out of Egypt, My Spirit is abiding in your midst; do not fear!' 6 "For thus says the LORD of hosts, 'Once more in a little while, I am going to shake the heavens and the earth, the sea also and the dry land. 7 'I will shake all the nations; and they will come with the wealth of all nations, and I will fill this house with glory,' says the LORD of hosts. 8 'The silver is Mine and the gold is Mine,' declares the LORD of hosts. 9 'The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former,' says the LORD of hosts, 'and in this place I will give peace,' declares the LORD of hosts."
When God speaks of the "latter glory of this house," He speaks of the glory that Christ brings, which Hebrews 12 reveals. The entire epistle does that, really...it explicitly shows how what was said in the days of the Fathers and the Prophets are brought to fruition and fulfilment in Christ. In Haggai 2, God is reminding the Israelites of the glory of the original temple. Now, in Hebrews, we are shown how there is a much better hope than we or the Israelites would have ever hoped for, and still more, how God intended that from all eternity.
*Sigh*...we receive a Kingdom which "cannot be shaken." So often, life is full of shakiness. It seems so very unstable, and I spend so much time trying to stop the shaking. I think it's imperative that I remember that the shaking will continue, no matter what I do. Still more, that shaking is God's discipline...and He disciplines those He loves. *Sigh*...it's hard to remember that, you know? When I look at all the turmoil, I've got to remember the stability of His Kingdom...the Kingdom He makes mine :)
posted by Bolo |
1:41 PM
0 speakage
7.14.2004
Q & A
Yesterday...or was it today...I sent off an email to a friend of mine. We hadn't really been in touch in the past year, so we've had a lot to catch up on. Since it was one of those situations of, "where do I start? There's so much that's happened..." With Jenn, we hadn't talked in like...two years? Yeah, it's gotta be near there, since we had breakfast before I left to come here. Oh, but I think she did call me once this past winter, while I was sitting down at dinner for our Winter Formal. Hehe :)
Anyway, I wrote up a list of questions that would help her get her thoughts rolling. They're pretty open-ended, but still specific. I decided to post 'em here, and if any of you so desire to answer them...feel free :)
1. What are the biggest lessons God has taught you through your EXPERIENCES?
2. What are the most memorable lessons God has taught you through SCRIPTURE?
3. What PEOPLE has God used to influence and change you most?
4. What experiences that we've SHARED in as friends did God use to
help you through some trials?
5. What MEMORIES that we've shared in as friends mean the most to you
now? (Stuff that makes you smile, stuff that makes you cry, stuff
that makes you shake your head and go, "God is GOOD!")
6. What do you CHERISH the most about your walk with the Lord now?
7. What FUTURE possibilities make you the most excited?
posted by Bolo |
9:55 PM
0 speakage
Lights Out
So we were in the gym last night, and we hear the rain start to come down. I mean, it was REALLY coming down...wind, thunder, lightning, the whole nine yards. After about five minutes of this, the lights flickered a little, then went out. I sat there in the dark with Benge, Christian, and Jewel acting silly for about ten seconds until the emergency lights came back on. Aaaahhhh...talk about fun times ;)
Check this out. Mon is HOOKED on Reality TV. It's hilarious to watch her watching those shows...I told her last week that she's making up for missing out on soap opera's. So when I called Mon to tell her I'd be staying on campus last night instead of coming home, I asked her how her Reality TV shows were going. She sounded quite sad when she said that the electricity was out at the house. Hah! Good thing I wasn't going home :)
posted by Bolo |
8:28 AM
0 speakage
7.12.2004
Grace...and Discipline
I was driving out toward The Summit today, trying to find a decent song to listen to on the radio. I ran across someone singing Amazing Grace..."How sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me...'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved...We've no less days to sing God's praise, than when we've first begun...How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed..."
I find it very easy not to be amazed by grace...shame on me.
What could I possibly write today that would do justice to God's grace? Nothing, really. I think that's part of the whole point of His grace...nothing we could do would do it justice. If we could, we wouldn't need it, would we? The only thing we can do is to ask for still more, knowing that we don't deserve it, yet rejoicing in the fact that we'll still receive it.
I was reading in Hebrews 12 today about God's discipline. Check out verses 4 - 7:
(4) You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin; (5) and you have forgotten the exhortation which is addressed to you as sons.
"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor faint when you are reproved by Him; (6) For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives."
(7) It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
It struck me as somewhat odd that verse seven says "it is for discipline that you endure," and not the other way around, which would make it "it is for endurance that you are disciplined." The goal of endurance is God's discipline. I'm still not sure what I make of it...I mean, the end of chapter 11 and the surrounding verses in chapter 12 seem to indicate that we are to embrace endurance, in order that we might be disciplined by the Father. So then, I must ask, what is the nature of this discipline? Is it the discipline that a wayward child receives, the reception of which he dreads because he knows he is in the wrong? Or is it the discipline of someone in say, a military boot camp, the type that is embraced by the soldier because he knows it is to his betterment? I think it's both. We are sometimes as children, not knowing that what the Father gives to us is best. At other times, we are as soldiers, knowing the painful discipline He inflicts is best, because we are not yet at a point where we are beyond such discipline. Verse 2 speaks of Christ enduring the cross "for the joy set before Him." Verse 11 says that those who have been trained by discipline "yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness." We endure to embrace the joyful fruit of discipline. Hehe...easier said than done :)
posted by Bolo |
10:08 PM
1 speakage
7.08.2004
Allergic to short & hairy Japanese people?
Do you guys see that little rectangle at the top of the blog? It's the space with a couple of text ads...those ads, in case you didn't notice, always relate to what I've blogged about. Well, I don't know if it's there for you or not, but for me, one of the ads I see is for "Effective Goose Repellent." Hehehehe :) I should send that to Michelle...I'm sure she'll need it at some point :) Hmmm...I wonder if I'll see an ad for a product called Knobby-Knob. In the meantime, though, check this out.
posted by Bolo |
2:34 PM
0 speakage
7.07.2004
No joke
So it's been a while since I've last posted anything. Whew...life's been kinda crazy, in a somewhat uneventful sort of way. Does that make sense? Probably not :) Allow me to explain...
The summer has been full of work. On average, somewhere between fifty to sixty hours a week, and I don't think I've gone one single week this summer under forty hours, between my two jobs. Take for instance, last Friday afternoon through Saturday morning. That ended up being a seventeen hour shift. Yiiiiikes.
Thus, after all the hours at work, and all the hours spent trying to avoid the draining monotony of "just work," there hasn't been a lot of time to just sit down at a computer terminal and blog. Bummer. Still, that's not to say that God isn't teaching me and growing me...I just wish I were better at the learning, you know?
I was just telling Jared this morning that I feel lukewarm. Gah. What horrible word! Unless you're talking about bathing a baby, or pulling a practical joke on a sleeping friend, the word lukewarm has such a horrible connotation to it. And you know what? Rightly so. I find myself nibbling at God. I explained it to Jared like this. In the morning, when I go to "meet with Jesus," I'll sit down with him at the table. When we begin our conversation, I'm clearly distracted. I keep glancing up at the clock, I respond to what He's saying with a lot of uh huh's or, yeah...I already knew that's. But you know what? If God is the one teaching me, He knows precisely what I need to hear, and what I must learn. So why don't I listen? Quite simply, I don't really want to. I mean, I'll sit there just enough to check off from my daily list, "met with the Lord," but it's only that. A check on the list. It's like what James said about the whole looking in the mirror thing. I've noticed that when I go through times like this, times when I'm lukewarm, I'll not find myself pondering over the Scriptures I read that day, or that week, or even any Scripture at all. I'll find myself looking back throughout the day, trying to remember whether or not I did my devotions. Lukewarm, indeed.
The passage I read this morning came from Hebrews 10. In particular, verses 29 - 31 hit me hard:
How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know Him who said, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY." And again, "THE LORD WILL JUDGE HIS PEOPLE." It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
Ouch. Here, the author is not talking about believers, but unbelievers...those who've heard the gospel and have still rejected Christ. Or, as verses 38 and 39 put it, those who "shrink back" from Christ and go to their destruction. Yet, the believer is also being warned, for it would not serve us well not to be mindful of the wrath that awaits those who take lightly the blood of Christ. The question I must ask myself this morning is, "how do I trample upon the Son of God, regard as unclean His sanctifying blood, or insult His gracious Spirit?" The answer to that right now? My lukewarmness.
Last Wednesday, I did something I hadn't done in over four years. I preached. It wasn't something that I had been expecting to happen, especially with my crazy work schedule. Still, Keith asked me to do it for our youth service, and so I said, "uhhh...ok." 2 Samuel 6:1 - 9 was the main text. We took a look at the attempted move of the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem. The focus was on Uzzah, and his irreverence...our irreverence. One of the things I tried to make clear to the kids was this: Uzzah was struck down because he forgot exactly who he was, and who God is. It says that God's anger burned against Uzzah for his irreverence. And all he did was touch the Ark when it was about to fall over!
*Sigh*...it seems like so very often, I am like Uzzah. I reach out and touch God, forgetting who I am. More importantly, I forget who God is. In my lukewarm laziness, I come into the presence of God with a casual nonchalance that tramples the Son underfoot. You know, it's a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the Living God.
posted by Bolo |
10:36 AM
1 speakage
Dell
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I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've
got five nephews and two nieces.
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"I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it."
-Ryan Szrama
"I'm trying to be regenerate."
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"Pink is pink. Peach is not pink."
-Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband
"How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today."
-John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate
"I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People
like that don't deserve to win it."
-Michael Butterworth
"I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many
marriages I go through."
-Katie Mohler
"However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told
him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to
you.'"
-Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little
incident which we do not name
"He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth
wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety,
but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get
married for twelve more years?'"
-Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father
"So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka."
-Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming
"Ok, he walks loudly."
-Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs"
"Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas."
-Ryan Szrama
"I have a way with old women."
-Josh Reid
"Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady."
-Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey
"It wasn't sweet, it was creepy."
-Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't
given
"I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain."
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"Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped
worrying about updating the score list."
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your job in life."
-Jessica Cimato
"Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?"
-Peter Sieg
"Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests."
-Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months
of pastoring at IBC have been
"If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned
marooned Moon."
-Michael Jenkins
"Can we call you 'Special Dark'?"
-Stephen Mobley
"Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip."
-Me, on how to order water at Starbucks
"It's you to an unsanctified T."
-Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey
"It's like a workout, having a conversation with you."
-Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey
"I shot the French Press..."
-Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff
"Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck
thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!"
-Off White
"Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!"
-Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend
"It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in
4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's
what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it
yet.'"
-Catherine Huffman
"It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since
you took Geometry."
-Peter Sieg, to me
"You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks
totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that
you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John
Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we
both blame your camera."
-Catherine Huffman
"You're going to die soon, anyway."
-Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday
"I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver."
-Stephen Mobley
"It's likely but unlikely."
-Ben Hedrick
"There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto."
-Jessica Vaughn
"The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'"
-Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh
"Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?"
-Ben Hedrick
"It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?"
-Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know
what car she drives?"
"High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!"
-Josh Reid
"Man, she's finer than a frog hair!"
-Josh Reid
"I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'"
-Heather Seagle
"Where's my phone?"
-Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone
"Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I
don't get kicked."
-Me
"Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or
whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd
probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a
close call!"
-Dana W
"I don't want to see this on your blog."
-Ryan Fullerton
"John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle,
here is his frown."
-Ben Hedrick
"Oh shutup, voicemail person!"
-Stephen Mobley
" 'P' as in 'purgatory.' "
-Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call
"You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry."
-Stephen Mobley
"Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than
say, Katie Mohler."
-Johanna Tollefson
"You just called me a chunker!"
-Christin Simpson
"We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in
Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's
food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.'
"
-Peter Sieg
"My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist."
-Christin Simpson
"How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' "
-Christin Simpson
"Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how
he peed in worship, it confused me."
-Katie Mohler
"Yes, I'm precious and all that."
-Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment
"Do you have a numerical number for that?"
-Stephen Mobley
"I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's
buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that."
-Peter Sieg
"That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it."
-Stephen Mobley
"Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other
non-contiguous U.S. states."
-Stephen Mobley
"In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time."
-Christin Simpson
"They never know whether to come out the front or the back."
-Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes
"I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'."
-Andy Lowe
"Could you translate that out of Letototian?"
-Lauren Farmer
"Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles
moments lately."
-Me
"I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking."
-Michael Butterworth
"She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't
big-boned, she was Hispanic."
-Ryan Szrama
"More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster."
-Allison Poplin
"Mmm, Chapstick!"
-Allison Poplin
"It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a
headstand in a ditch."
-Christin Simpson
"The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is
admitting I'm a stupid haole."
-Christine Robertson
"I said 'teached,' man!"
-Christin Simpson
"I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom."
-Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly
"Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!"
-Thomas Amos
"Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple
years older.' "
-Anonymous
"He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!"
-Me
"Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear."
-Dr. Mohler
"I've got fans all over."
-Lauren Farmer
"I'm having my own personal hot flash right now."
-Bobby House
"Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is
actually with a woman!"
-Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog
"Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the
Servant Towel award by taking me or something?"
-Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet
"I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all."
-Christin Simpson
"The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate."
-Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream
"Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!"
-Amanda Ledbetter
"I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier
to understand."
-Dr. Joslin, on women
"One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active
social life, or she's just fat."
-Richard B. Hardison
"You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly.
Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that
turns out."
-Jon "Jew" Borofsky
"Are you dressing Katie Mohler?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?"
-Andrew
"I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches."
-Michael Butterworth
"I really like the smell of gasoline."
-Katie Mohler
"You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out
and take the elevator."
-Bobby House
"But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you."
-Nick Crouse
"Gomez, you're Hispanic?"
-Matt Svoboda
"'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?"
-Lauren Farmer
"You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke."
-Moon Pie Godfrey
"It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!"
-Lauren Farmer
"I've had the passion, I just need the purity."
-Emily Dick
"I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right?
Letoto's going to be there!'"
-Warren Kesselring
"I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put
on lots of flannel."
-Ricky Hardison
"You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?"
-Sarah Cress
"So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones."
-Christin Simpson
"I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without
asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks."
-Emily O'Neal
"I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time."
-Taryn Walker
"You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to
bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College."
-Michael Butterworth
"Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white."
-Cole Harper
"I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'"
-Emily Dick
"I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have
boyish charm."
-Jeff Pearson
"If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart,
it's a bad idea."
-David Borreson
"Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!"
-Chriyus Davis
"When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to
myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' "
-Chriyus Davis
"What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here."
-Lauren Farmer
"I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?"
-Andrew, talking about his father's birthday.
"What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?"
-Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she
went to look up what he meant
"Stop flashing everyone!"
-Carla
"I didn't know I was going to see everything!"
-Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth
"Which would suck!"
-Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in
heaven...before his marriage
"Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?"
-Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes
"I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a
good tree to climb by Mullins."
-Michael Butterworth
"You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts."
-Scott O'Neal
"It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or
maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger."
-Andrew
"And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!"
-Emily Dick
"Is Scott the white-haired guy?"
-Brandon Stern
"The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I
really hope I don't fart."
-Kristy White
"Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin."
-Katy Cavaliere
"I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs."
-Andrew "Stretch" Holley
"And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that."
-Scott O'Neal
"I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart."
-Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo
"I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people,
why I wasn't married."
-Christine Robertson
"Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol'
woman with a 'fro."
-Chriyus Davis
"Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think
that's romantic."
-Lauren Farmer
"We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity."
-Lauren Farmer
"Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached
toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense,
you may have hit the skin on the head."
-Me, to Matt Teves
"Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!"
-Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning
"Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake
you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot."
-Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat
"Who's the brown one?"
-Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain
brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus
"A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say
or do is not a world I want to live in."
-Michael Butterworth
"Abby marches to the beat of her own flute."
-Scott O'Neal
"I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I
could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee."
-Jennifer Miller
"What's a 'good game'?"
-Katie Mohler
"Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I
used to give myself french manicures with it."
-R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper
"It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails."
-Trey Fuller
"How do you think that small?"
-Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting
"I like to curl up in the bathroom."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's
not a universal song, it's in a different language."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!"
-A.D.
"I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place."
-Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message
"Sounds like a bladder control problem."
-Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during
dorm meeting
"Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?"
-Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey
Cashell
"So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward."
-R. Lauren Duncan, about...something
"Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!"
-Boss
"When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but
when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a
different matter altogether."
-Scott O'Neal
"That's too much chocolate for you!"
-Bobby House III
"Dude, there's a lot of white people up here."
-Kawika, on being in Indiana
"This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp."
-Sandi, on the sermons at their church
"I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male."
-Heidi Marlene Johnson
"Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he
had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know,
that ninja look."
-Lisa, to me
"You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!"
-A certain manager at a certain store
"He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count.
You're right, he is the only guy we've got."
-A certain coworker at a certain store.
"She's the manliest girl I know."
-Christina Thompson
"Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy
than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're
better looking than most of the guys here."
-Nathan Fulllerton
"Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed
kids together."
-Scott O'Neal
"How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that
Uch is off the market."
-Goose
"It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!"
-Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate
"I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'"
-Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to
take over the airsoft world
"You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get
Government Service out of John."
-Goose
"Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months."
-Goose
"Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!"
-Boss
"How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to
SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes."
-Jeff Cavanaugh
"Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk."
-Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk
"I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke."
-Joel Gasparotto, to me
"No. But several kids."
-Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?"
"I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all
sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..."
-Me
"I think these are unthawed."
-Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken
"You mean frozen?"
-Matt Crawford, in response to Scott
"Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!"
-Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud
out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain
Hawaiian
"He's the closest thing to Black I got here!"
-Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian
was the most ethnically similar person at the camp
"Nice body!"
-Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they
collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball
"I could take you...to a movie."
-Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was
explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students
present
"It's my bladder!"
-Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang
"John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I."
-Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and
impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or
imagined) I have upon them
"At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will
Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding
stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to
watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly
assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that
into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'"
-Me
"Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm
asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books
off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT
asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what
I wrote up there."
-Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger
"Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day."
-Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania
"Did he sound winded?"
-Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night...
"Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!"
-Boss
"I don't do that, that would be too unmanly."
-Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails
"More of an acquired taste than kim chee."
-Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music
"That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed
with Shirley Temples."
-Christin Simpson
"Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are
odd' girl."
-Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her
blossoming reputation
"Hurry, before the smears come out!"
-Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall
"All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait"
-Andrew Strickland, while leading worship
"She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her."
-Lisa
"I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better
bed partner now."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!"
-One of the Brownies from Willow
"I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!"
-Same Brownie
"Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!"
-Drunk Brownie from Willow
"No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher."
-Gary
"It's probably providential."
-Chip Collins
"One more wave."
-Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air
"Well basically..."
-James McCray
"I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground."
-RAM, Jr.
"If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing
her away from all the decent guys."
-Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away
"Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome."
-Dr. Mohler
"Hey! How are you doing?"
-Rob Smythe
"I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand
on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in
the bathroom!"
-Boss
"So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?"
-Aaron Filippone
"The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me."
-Darren Thomas
"Hairy in the face and chest?"
-Me, in response to Darren
"Oh, cuss word!"
-Moon Pie
"If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute
long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize."
-Pablo Butterworth
"These *are* my dress socks. They're clean."
-Goose
"Before the throne of God above..."
-Jonathan Leeman...singing
"I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane."
-Michelle
"Piss on a biscuit!"
-Fritzy
"I saw Toto, and he's black!"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be
laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there."
-Jordan Cole
"Can she have a man?"
-Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie
"I am irresistible to men..."
-Poenie Tree
"Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!"
-AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite
"Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?"
-Tyler Ratliff
"She shook his butt before she shook his hand!"
-Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce
"Would you look at that BUTT?"
-Pablo Butterworth
"It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards."
-Pablo Butterworth
"He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us,
sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you
would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives
or anything.)"
-Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce
"Paul, I think we should mate."
-Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of
Psychiatrist
"You're classic, not metro."
-Elizabeth Foster
"I need ocean."
-Me
"Oh, I have some!"
-R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me
"Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two
completely different things."
-Dr. Draper
"The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!"
-Chris...something
"I hated you when I first met you."
-Scott O'Neal
"Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..."
-Pablo Butterworth
"Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going
to die teaching and I want to be there for it."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out."
-Michael Butterworth
"I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive."
-Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth
"Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How
did you become sexy?' "
-Pablo Butterworth
"Stop vacuuming my crack!"
-Chris Sellers
"That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any
taller..."
-Melissa Hermoso
"You smell like my mom!"
-Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild
"It's Allure for *men*, people!"
-Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild
"Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!"
-Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair
"We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down."
-Michael Butterworth
"I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials."
-Billy Reddick
"You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder."
-Kristina Pelhank, to me
"I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen,
and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it
breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen
floor.' "
-Pablo Butterworth
"You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into
trouble, and yours gets you out of it."
-Aaron Coffey, to me
"The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their
elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing."
-Michael Butterworth
"Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!"
-Sarah El-Masri
"I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone
there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop
together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play
XBox all night long, baby!"
-Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit
"Please stalk me at your earliest convienence."
-Sarah Cress
"There's a two year-old flirting with me!"
-Ashlea Davenport
"I used to have a neck, then something happened."
-Bobby House
"Can I buy three blacks from you?"
-Pablo Butterworth
"Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep."
-Chip Collins
"You're the ugly girl!"
-Candace Boyd
"No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody
does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!"
-Scott O'Neal and me
"I grew up with that but in Spanish."
-Liz Mejia
"One day the three of us will be married!"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a
bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And,
he was BIG!"
-Matty Teves
"Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo."
-Me, to Pablo Butterworth
"And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's
right...............the Holy Spirit."
-Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something
"That's a good length, that's pettable."
-R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head
"There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size."
-Kristy Miller
"Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!"
-Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready
for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just
before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball
"Mr. Herringbone understands."
-Katie Mohler
"Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?"
-Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by
Katie Mohler
"Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type
in, 'butt,' and you come up."
-Me, to Pablo Butterworth
"The chocolate chip in the cookie."
-Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our
family
"I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk."
-Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8
white guys
"I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!"
-Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check
gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere
"So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and
forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking
and it startled me."
-Sarah Cress
"Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"Jane!"
-Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan
"I went sniffing once."
-Katie Mohler
"Can you use that in a definition?"
-Sarah Cress
"Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's
shopping again."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"They had her fork here and I ate it."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"Every outfit you wear is a statement."
-Scott O'Neal
"Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?"
-Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at
Southeast Christian Church
"He likes to sit in my drawers."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate."
-James Losey, about me
"I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!"
-Heidi Marlene Johnson
"I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus."
-Me
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in
that order."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I eat soap for breakfast."
-Sarah Cress
"I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway."
-Rob Smythe
"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
-Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects
"Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something."
-Janal Prybys
"More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock."
-Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish
"This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl
Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high."
-Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person
"Hold me like you used to."
-Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated
"This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because
pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably
retarded."
-Jessica Cimato
"And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash."
-Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood
"Oh, I love that movie!"
-Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson
"They have male stores?"
-Katie Mohler
"She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook."
-Michael Butterworth
"Yes, it's my purse."
-James Losey
"There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has
been inflicted with The Terror!"
-Kristina Pelhank
"You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk
away, but for some strange reason, I can't."
-Sarah Cress
"John gave me a good wedgie."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I won't say whoooole falsehoods..."
-Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok
"I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet."
-Michael Butterworth
"God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love."
-Michael Butterworth
"This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you."
-Rob Smythe
"Next year you'll be in the zoo."
-Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey
"I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up
undergrad chicks, too."
-Michael Butterworth
"I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those
blue nasty ones."
-R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman,
when speaking of it being blue and nasty
"Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much',
because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to
mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day."
-Jessica Cimato
"'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I have some ligament in the car."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I lost it from all the throwing up I did."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"He's a Filipino knockoff!"
-David Brandt, commenting on me
"No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!"
-Chris Sellers
"You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?"
-Sarah El-Masri, to me
"You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about
girls, you're never going to get married."
-Me, to Pablo Butterworth
"I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's
older than you."
-Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer
"She's not the kind of guy you'd go for."
-Me
"I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It
gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow."
-Jessica Cimato, to me
"From this angle, I can see everything!"
-Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt
"Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?"
-R. Lauren Duncan, to me
"If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many
pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer."
-Pablo Butterworth
"You are not going to put that on Facebook!"
-Pablo Butterworth
"I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts."
-Nick Crouse
"They're *macadamia* nuts!"
-Ryan Travis
"Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They
charge you nine dollars an hour!"
-Brian Buck
"Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?"
-Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage
Hall
"Are you ok? I just wet my pants."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I just want to marry a pastor."
-Blind Brandon
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