Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



An excerpt from my a journal entry today:

Brook no mistake about my identity. I am nothing special, nothing worthy, nothing talented, nothing beautiful, nothing praiseworthy, nothing attractive, nothing worth saving. I am, without a doubt, nothing. That could describe me, could it not? Yet, does it not also describe the Christ as He died on the cross? He became nothing...the worthy, in place of the unworthy. Yet I esteem myself far too highly still. Who am I, that the Son of God should die for me? Who am I? I am nothing...

There's usually a distinct difference between what gets typed into my blog and what gets scrawled into my journal. However, that short entry from earlier today stuck with me in such a way that I decided, for whatever reason, to enter it here. Before I go on, a short explanation is in order, particularly for you bible college and seminary types ;) I don't mean to imply that I am, as a human, utterly without value. I'm created in God's image; that in and of itself carries an intrinsic value far beyond my limited comprehension. When I said I am "nothing," I was referring to what I have to offer God outside of Christ. Furthermore, when I wrote about "nothing" also describing Christ, I had in mind Isaiah 53, and the description we have there of the Christ. He was to all appearances a man utterly forsaken and cursed, a man without value or desirability.

But you already knew that :)

In thinking about being "nothing," I thought about how much worth I put in my own abilities. Often, I twist whatever gifts the Lord gives me as a license to do as I please, rather than see those gifts as a grace to bring myself and others before the throne of grace to behold Him in His glory. Would I, had the Lord not granted me such grace in Christ, be blessed? Nope. Would I be able to enjoy Him at all? Nope.

When I scrawled out the word "nothing" over and over again, it was not with a dark and gloomy pallor hanging over my soul. Quite the contrary, I was filled with joy! Why? Simply put, the beauty of God's grace in Christ is such that we cannot behold it with joy and wonder and praise unless we see such beauty held up against the backdrop of our horrific guilt and shame. The Lord tells us that those who are forgiven little love little, and those who are forgiven much love much. I count it a gracious blessing that I am being shown how much the Lord forgives me, that I in turn may love much.

If Christ would empty Himself and become despised and rejected...become nothing...for me, it would behoove me to open my eyes to the sins I turn away from every day. Why? Such vulnerability before the Lord reminds me of the price He paid to make me much more than nothing.

posted by Bolo | 11:35 PM
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