Smeagol is Free! A hermitudinal view of...stuff...

9.30.2007   Thoughts This cup of Sidamo is, to be blunt, glorious. O'Neal: we're in the Program Files now. The new Nalgene is well on its way toward being stickered up properly, and I just found another one that can go on it. Nice! The Shreve wedding was one of the more pleasurable events I've been a part of in 2007. Only the guys in the office would get this, but it got a great reaction out of Andy: "What, Andy, two-day shipping to California?" I got a gash in my knee. From my computer. I'm dumb. Pappycake, you know you love me. Down to under a week now...wow. Moon Pie's reaction last night was stinkin' fabulous. Rev's face will be even better. posted by Bolo | 5:41 PM 0 speakage   Shots Snapped posted by Bolo | 1:20 AM 0 speakage 9.29.2007   Double Doh! The Irish lost today to drop to 0 - 5, and Off White seemed to be a little off kilter in our second straight loss of the season, bringing us to 3 - 2 on the season. *Sigh*...there's always next week, friends! posted by Bolo | 4:27 PM 0 speakage   @Quills Simpson made me promise not to post some of the shots that were taken...I don't remember if these were among them... ...hmmm... posted by Bolo | 1:26 AM 0 speakage 9.28.2007   Do the Dew I know, I know, they're two very similar shots, but I like 'em both. I guess there is something worth waking up early for. I dig the water droplets, especially when the sunlight shines through them. Hmmm...kind of like Jesus shining through us... posted by Bolo | 7:11 PM 0 speakage   Word Colossians 1:15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. On mornings like this, it's easy to wake up and go about my day as if there was no God, as though I were ignorant of Him. The alarm clock rang way too early for my tastes, making my body even more aware of its need for physical comforts; still more, the lack of simple joy makes me aware of my lack of an awareness of God. I sometimes feel like asking God, "You sent Your Son, and He is Your image, but why do I still feel so blind?" If I think about it, and I'm not so daunted by God's bigness that I actually sit in humble contemplation, I realize anew that the one character of God that best describes Him is His holiness. He is holy, utterly different, utterly unique, utterly different. He is not as I am! As such, the more I get to know Him, the more I realize that there is more of Him to see, so much more than I feel prepared to grasp. posted by Bolo | 7:58 AM 1 speakage 9.27.2007   Kit & Kaboodle Upon walking into the office at 9:20 this morning, my coworkers gleefully greeted my tardy self with a slew of thrown pens. I think they thought they were auditioning for the sequel to House of Flying Daggers, Office of Flying Bics. All bad jokes aside, I do believe that it was Mr. Benjamin Hedrick, servant that he is, who took it upon himself to provide me with an aid in waking up on time. Jerk :) posted by Bolo | 10:27 PM 0 speakage   Psychology Yes! Stephen just said "'P' as in, 'psychology'" on a sales call. I feel so...p...p...powerful! posted by Bolo | 2:50 PM 0 speakage   Woopsie Daisy Waking up at 9 isn't necessarily a good thing when you start work at around 8. Just an observation... posted by Bolo | 9:42 AM 0 speakage   Shut It Listening to Snow Patrol's Shut Your Eyes gives this shot a whole new feeling. I know what you're thinking...shame on you! posted by Bolo | 2:28 AM 0 speakage 9.26.2007   Word Psalm 119:169 - 176 Let my cry come before You, O LORD; give me understanding according to Your word. Let my supplication come before You; deliver me according to Your word. Let my lips utter praise, for You teach me Your statutes. Let my tongue sing of Your word, for all Your commandments are righteousness. Let Your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen Your precepts. I long for Your salvation, O LORD, and Your law is my delight. Let my soul live that it may praise You, and let Your ordinances help me. I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, for I do not forget Your commandments. This last stanza of Psalm 119 ends on an honest, vulnerable note, one that echoes clearly within my soul: I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, for I do not forget Your commandments. I know the commandments of God, I know His word, yet still, I find that I am oft astray, often in need of finding once more. Ryan once said in a sermon that our congregation is one that, by and large, knows its duty. We know the word of God, and we are not shy about embracing that word. What becomes difficult, however, is knowing what and how to heed His word. When He tells us to stand upon the Christ, the rock, the sure foundation, we try to lift that rock, that foundation and bear its unbearable load. When He tells us that He delights in us, that He remembers our sins no more, that our old selves have died and been buried with Christ, we go to the graveyard and dig up that which is dead, powerless, and without pleasure. When He tells us to come and feast, to partake of the Living Water and the Bread of Life, we find ourselves content to nibble upon Satan's sugary, sickening sweets. What I find at the end of Psalm 119 is a reminder that, while I know God's commandments, His most wonderful command is to come to Him for mercy in time of need, to call out in weakness, lostness, loneliness, and despair. Yes, His sheep tend to go astray, but He is the Good Shepherd, and His sheep know His voice. posted by Bolo | 11:08 PM 0 speakage   Thoughts Mom told me that Makana called her the other day, unbeknownst to Mon. Conclusion? My niece is better about calling my mom than I am. New volleyball court shoes are in order. I'm thinking I'll be going with Ethiopia Sidamo for the wedding on Saturday, but I'm not yet sure which roast I'll go with. Maybe something a touch lighter, so as to bring out the delicate, sweet herbal hints. Smythe and I reflected on the fleeting, forgetful nature of Man this morning, and we both decided that we're a couple of weaklings. That match last night was pretty stinkin' good, but I hate losing. Speaking of losing, team Off White is looking to get back to our winning ways this Saturday, so feel free to find yourselves at Seneca Park at around 2 in the afternoon. Just look for the team in...well...white. It's payday! If Marlene starts telling me, "Juliet Kilo!" I'm going to blame...someone. posted by Bolo | 9:29 AM 0 speakage 9.25.2007   Linkage For all you astronauts, would-be astronauts, or astronaut wannabes, take a galactic glimpse. Hmmm...I'm thinking this will have to be on the next order. This one just pulls you in. Everyone who lives on campus knows that the bandwidth available to residents...well...it's evil. Heh...get it? Resident...evil? *Awkward silence*. Anyway, if you really feel like harrumphing in front of your computer, do so with Mr. T. posted by Bolo | 8:54 AM 0 speakage 9.24.2007   Straw Man Dang. He noticed. posted by Bolo | 3:18 PM 0 speakage   Super Straw Three minutes ago, I stuck a straw on Ben's shoulder. I don't think he knows it's there :) posted by Bolo | 3:13 PM 1 speakage   *Click* posted by Bolo | 10:54 AM 0 speakage   Thoughts 'Twas another Jack sort of day. I say it's hard to say who's doing more sanctification stalling, Simpson. Off White is now 3 - 1, having lost to those crazy, unrelenting goblins in green, 15 - 7, but believe me, we have absolutely no shame in our loss. As John put it, we didn't beat ourselves, we made them beat us. That 8' 0" is twice Boss' size, I swear it is. Was Moon Pie talking about the downstairs mix-up when he said that those were big? Brit, I got just one word for you: haole. This is hard for me to believe, but I think I'm actually one of the two best hitters on our co-ed team. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing yet. Maybe Joel will finally get his request granted and we'll talk about that elder thing. Daddy Rev: congratulations, you've spawned a creepy one. It's one in the morning, and...well...among many other things, I'm hungry. Go figure. posted by Bolo | 1:08 AM 0 speakage 9.23.2007   Who? Dave wrote this to me as a means of encouragement. Thanks, brother. Who really is Christ suited for? who is better suited for a Fortress than someone who has no strength? who needs or loves a Physician than the really sick? who desires a Shepherd more than those of us who are constantly getting lost? who wants a perfect High Priest who ever lives to intercede more than the one who daily sees their need for forgiveness? is the cross, is the gospel really for the likes of you? who is looking more intently at the Morning Star than the one who has wandered in the darkness? who better than those who feel the deadness and coldness of their soul can more appreciate the One who is the Ressurrection and the Life? who stares at the Bridegroom more than the one who knows a bitter loneliness? who is more suited to be loved by the Hope of Glory than those who are in utter despair? is Christ for the likes of John Letoto? who needs a Rock, a Cornerstone, more than the man who is shaken to the core? who loves a Prince of Peace more than the restless and the weary? yes, John Letoto - the Cross is for the likes of you - in fact, nothing in the universe is more fitting, more suited, more perfect for your salvation, your life and your soul, than the Lamb of God. you were created and sustained and pursued and regenerated and purchased and brought near and loved and perfected and justified and set apart - to know this truth - that Jesus Christ came as a man, suffered, died and rose again not just for the likes of you - but for you... John Letoto. posted by Bolo | 3:53 PM 2 speakage   Hoodlums posted by Bolo | 2:28 AM 0 speakage 9.22.2007   Bee Movie posted by Bolo | 7:46 PM 0 speakage   Precious The Precious Blood Peter Gagnon Before the cross I kneel and see The measure of my sin How You became a curse for me Though You were innocent The magnitude of Your great love Was shown in full degree When righteous blood, the crimson spill Rained down from Calvary Oh, the precious blood That flowed from Mercy’s side Washed away my sin When Christ my Savior died Oh, the precious blood Of Christ the crucified It speaks for me before Your throne Where I stand justified And who am I that I should know This treasure of such worth My Savior’s pure atoning blood Shed for the wrath I’d earned For sin has stained my every deed My every word and thought What wondrous love that makes me one Your priceless blood has bought A crown of thorns, pierced hands and feet A body bruised, and Mercy’s plea It is far too easy for me to forget that His precious Son, Christ, and not I, am the center of the Father's affection, and yet, the affection He has for me is truly His affection for Christ. At the same time, I don't remember very often that Christ, while being the center of the Father's affection, also became the center of His wrath when He suffered on the cross. This, too, was so that I might not taste death, but rather, that I might come to esteem and holds precious the Son as the Father esteems Him and holds Him as precious. posted by Bolo | 1:08 PM 2 speakage 9.21.2007   The Office It's hat day! posted by Bolo | 2:04 PM 1 speakage   Again? There it is again... ...morning :/ posted by Bolo | 9:33 AM 0 speakage 9.20.2007   Stuff posted by Bolo | 8:08 PM 0 speakage   Thoughts A one-hour nap turned into a two-hour nap last night, which meant that I woke up just in time to see that my league volleyball match at OVVC had just started. Ben had a really guilty look on his face this morning when I walked in and saw him using my French press and water kettle to make just enough coffee for...himself. It's probably a bad sign when a friend hears someone mention 1997 and she thinks to herself, "Hey, I was in the seventh grade in 1997," then immediately follows that up with, "and John Letoto graduated in 1997." Ouch. Still doing the three-mug dance on my desk this morning. I'm hungry. The itch to shoot things has become greater, but the time I have to do so seems to have lessened. Katie Vaughn gave me high praise when she said that the SEC could always use a fan like me. Thanks, Miss Vaughn, but I'll be stickin' with the Irish. Team Off White plays the goblins in green this Saturday, and we could definitely use all the cheering we can get, as we'll quite possibly get our rear ends handed to us on a platter...a plastic one at that. They're good, we're not so good, and that's the story. posted by Bolo | 9:03 AM 0 speakage 9.19.2007   F-Stop Favorites I've been meaning to toss up some of my favorite pics from the past couple of years, ones that have been buried in the archives for a while. These shots, for the most part, were taken outside, which tends to be my favorite shooting environment. If you click on the picture to see the high-res image file, you can see the finer hairs on the abdomen of the bee. Christmas Morning, 2006, just before Andrew, Sandi and I paddled out at Canoe's. White Christmas? Heck, no! This one makes me tilt my head from side to side and squint my eyes. Strange sight, this, but the colors draw me in again and again. It gives off an isolated, introspective feel. Walking off into the sunset? Indeed. This one came on an early morning sometime this past winter. I'd been switching between using Kyle's 35mm Nikon and my S70 when the sun came up just above the tree line. I still haven't developed the film from the Nikon. Amazing what light does to bring out the intrinsic beauty in the ordinary. Fall is achingly beautiful. Too bad it serves as Winter's predecessor. Feels like there's all sorts of movement going on, even though there's not. Heh. Never intended this one to look this good. That's usually how it is, though. If memory serves me correctly, I was flying back to the 'Ville from Detroit while on a recruiting trip. Dr. Brand was also on the flight, and he was squished in next to another big dude. I think I enjoyed the flight more than he. I was eating in the cafeteria when the setting sun presented my lens with a beautiful view. I was happy about that. The tiny water droplets only heighten the fine, delicate details of the feather. I kept tossing leaves up into the air in order to get this shot. Lots and lots and lots of leaf tossing that day, believe me. I like how the sun is mirrored in the water. My shadow, Scott's shadow. posted by Bolo | 5:54 PM 0 speakage   Stalking? posted by Bolo | 12:22 AM 0 speakage 9.18.2007   P We love to tease Stephen about saying silly things over the phone. He once said, "'P' as in 'purgatory,'" which has gotten the rest of us a lot of mocking mileage. While he claims that he's really saying, "'P' as in 'purchase order,'" we still think he's lying. Today, I informed Stephen that he should now say, "'P'" as in 'psychology.'" posted by Bolo | 4:52 PM 0 speakage   Thoughts I was up by 99 points over Larue when he places down "REEFING" for 91 points (triple-word score plus the 50 bonus points for using all seven of his tiles) to go out and end the game, which meant that I had to subtract the 5 points I had left on my rack and give it to him, putting him up by 2. He won. From 99 points down. Donkey. The cooler weather around here provides a wonderful combination of wardrobe experience and tanning. I guess it's probably a discomforting thing to feel the air whoosh by your hand when you're holding something that someone is pounding in with a sledgehammer. At least, Andy sounded discomforted when he described how close I was getting to his hand. I should start awarding cat stickers to girls who lament their seemingly perpetual singlehood aloud. So great is my desire for S.D.O. to play frisbee today that I told Mrs. S.D.O., "My heart will be filled with a bitter sorrow the oceans could not dissolve should he decide not to play." For about the one-thousand, seven-hundred and ninety-eighth time in my life, someone jokingly claimed that, based upon my wardrobe tendencies, they had suspicions about my "orientation." posted by Bolo | 1:38 PM 4 speakage   Problematic Three mugs of coffee sit on my desk. The one closest to me has a brown stain ring in it about an eighth of an inch above the coffee level. The mug just beyond the first has a ring roughly three-eighths of an inch above its coffee level. And the last mug? I think the stuff at the bottom of that one is ready to go into the kiln. Hopefully, I won't grab either the first or the second when I reach for my fresh cup of coffee obtained from Sunergos, the one I had to get because I forgot to roast last night. Doh! posted by Bolo | 8:46 AM 0 speakage   Blade posted by Bolo | 7:33 AM 0 speakage 9.17.2007   He's Back Looks like a certain Vermont native is home. This was the email my family got from Mon this morning: Makana and I were able to greet Dave at the airport on Friday late night/Saturday early morning. :) Thank you for your prayers during his deployment. We are soooooooooo happy to have him home! Makana has enjoyed 2 days of playing with Dada! Glad to have you stateside again, Captain Merrifield! posted by Bolo | 9:23 AM 1 speakage   From Today posted by Bolo | 2:29 AM 1 speakage 9.16.2007   Forthcoming Over the course of this week, I'll attempt to churn out some thoughts on God's love. The reasons for this mini series are many, but at the core of it, I find a growing desire to ask the Lord for grace to gaze upon His countenance and see His love in the gaze I find there returned. As such, I think that reflecting upon His love by actually thinking through various aspects of it is a great way to do just that. posted by Bolo | 2:31 PM 0 speakage   Spidey posted by Bolo | 8:49 AM 0 speakage   Not Mine, His John 17:13 "But now I come to You; and these things I speak in the world so that they may have My joy made full in themselves." I find my affections for God to be lacking, both in power and in purity. When Augustine said that a man "loves Thee too little, who loves Thee together with anything, which he loves not for Thy sake," I think he would not have been in error to have had me stand as an example of such failing love. Many is the day when I find myself close to despairing of my lack of love for my Lord, when I begin to long for heaven not because I might see my Savior face to face, but because I am simply weary of displeasing Him, crushed under the weight of His holy Word. Yet, is that why my Lord would have me long? Is His burden truly so crushing? Hardly! When I look to the Word, I find that I often go wearily, despondently, dutifully. I find that joy is an alien emotion, a savored flavor that I once experienced long ago, one I speak well of with others but secretly wonder, "Where has it gone?" Nevertheless, Jesus clearly declares His purpose to us by praying that His joy would be made full in us. His joy! Can you imagine the irrepressible joy of God? I can't. I've been accused of being a grumpy old man far too many times to count, and rightly so. God may be accused of being grumpy, but he's never seen a sunrise He didn't like, never felt an emotion He didn't have an answer for, never went through a day that He didn't sovereignly orchestrate to His glory. That doesn't describe someone who's grumpy. That describes a joyful being. That joyful being desires for His joy to be our joy, too. posted by Bolo | 1:43 AM 0 speakage 9.15.2007   Way, Way Off Katie Vaughn, huge 'Bama fan that she is, was quite helpful. When she commended me for reading Sibbes' The Bruised Reed, I told her that it may be helpful in dealing with the pain of being 0 - 3. The Irish have yet to win a game, much less score an offensive touchdown, and they still, I believe, have given up more sacks than they've garnered yards rushing, but I still hold to the same state of non-panic. Why? I have no other option. Either Charlie Weis is the answer or he's not. If he is, then there are a bunch of things that have contributed to this season's demise, and not all of them are things that are his fault. If he's not, then the next coach is going to inherit a very, very talented team next year. By the way: no sane administration at ND would even consider a coaching change at this point. That's preposterous. Those calling for Charlie's head due to the poor start are just plain ignorant of the direction he's had the program headed in while operating in less than ideal circumstances. posted by Bolo | 7:54 PM 0 speakage   Way Off So we're now 3 - 0, which is far better than I thought we'd be at this point. We also have a team name: Off White, in honor of the team captain, yours truly. Yeah. It wasn't my idea, but since I'm not surfing at the moment, I figure it's somewhat appropriate. Heh. posted by Bolo | 4:21 PM 0 speakage   Thoughts I have before me a scenario I had not envisioned: ND and UM are both 0 - 2, while our frisbee team is 2 - 0. Cereal in the morning is great, but milk with it is better. I still think it's preposterous that I'm eating "red berries" rather than "strawberries" in my cereal. Maybe it's due to some sort of female psychology I'm not privy to; after all, this is Kellog's Special K we're talking about. Speaking of Kellog's, did we or did we not have an "'Ello, Guv'nah!" moment on Monday? I think we did! Daddy Rev would surely agree. Speaking of the Revells, I told the elder son that despite my convictions against social gatherings with my social butterfly-self as the social fulcrum, I somehow managed to get cajoled into "planning" no less than two forthcoming events, and being host to part of another. Hmmm. My ten-year reunion is today. Heh...Black and Gold, indeed. Oh, and what the heck is Kamana doing in the EST? Just got told that our flag football team is playing at 1 PM. Back to bed I go. posted by Bolo | 9:51 AM 0 speakage 9.14.2007   Praiseworthy Psalm 113:3 From the rising of the sun to its setting the name of the LORD is to be praised. posted by Bolo | 6:44 AM 0 speakage 9.13.2007   Profundity Why does morning have to be so darned early? posted by Bolo | 8:30 AM 5 speakage 9.12.2007   Passing Time Waiting for food at Founders' Cafe? If it's at the right time of day, the view can help to pass the time. posted by Bolo | 10:45 PM 0 speakage Dell Coupons		Daily Coffee Sweet Maria's James Hoffmann Theologous Desiring God Ministries Monergism Discerning Reader Albert Mohler, Jr. Russell Moore 9 Marks Play Jock Think Laugh Foxtrot User Friendly Learn National Geographic Geek out. Again.   Read Paint Prayer Pleasures Commune Galactic Wabbit Great Listen Jack Finished Discover Tones of Fleck Step In the Arms Smashing Thinking Visualize Facebook Albums (Updated 3/21/2007) Blogging Buddies Homeage Gary Uch Boss Kev Goose Mark Rich Sanchez Mon & Dave Leo Barb Brit The 'Villeage O'Neals Jim Hilliard Pablo Butterworth the Younger Nikki Lefty Ashlea Parris Cavies Calvinaugh Weenie & Elizabeth Owen T4G Tim Bob Josh Christman Szrama Ryherd Brandt Hutch FYI FYI TV CMac Maiden Dana Dubya Old School Memories Faith... Wonder... Empty Snaps Manna The Misses Character Me Me Bug Me smeagolisfree@gmail.com AIM: MrToto2U Facebook Yore 03.2003 / 04.2003 / 05.2003 / 06.2003 / 07.2003 / 08.2003 / 09.2003 / 10.2003 / 11.2003 / 12.2003 / 01.2004 / 02.2004 / 03.2004 / 04.2004 / 05.2004 / 06.2004 / 07.2004 / 08.2004 / 09.2004 / 10.2004 / 11.2004 / 12.2004 / 01.2005 / 02.2005 / 03.2005 / 04.2005 / 05.2005 / 06.2005 / 07.2005 / 08.2005 / 09.2005 / 10.2005 / 11.2005 / 12.2005 / 01.2006 / 02.2006 / 03.2006 / 04.2006 / 05.2006 / 06.2006 / 07.2006 / 08.2006 / 09.2006 / 10.2006 / 11.2006 / 12.2006 / 01.2007 / 02.2007 / 03.2007 / 04.2007 / 05.2007 / 06.2007 / 07.2007 / 08.2007 / 09.2007 / 10.2007 / 11.2007 / 12.2007 / 01.2008 / 02.2008 / 03.2008 / 04.2008 / 05.2008 / 06.2008 / 07.2008 / 08.2008 / 09.2008 / 10.2008 / 11.2008 / 12.2008 / 01.2009 / 02.2009 / 03.2009 / 04.2009 / 05.2009 / 06.2009 / 07.2009 / 08.2009 / 09.2009 / Factuality I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've got five nephews and two nieces. Quotatious "I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it." -Ryan Szrama "I'm trying to be regenerate." -Ivy Warriner "Pink is pink. Peach is not pink." -Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband "How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today." -John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate "I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People like that don't deserve to win it." -Michael Butterworth "I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many marriages I go through." -Katie Mohler "However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to you.'" -Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little incident which we do not name "He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety, but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get married for twelve more years?'" -Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father "So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka." -Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming "Ok, he walks loudly." -Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs" "Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas." -Ryan Szrama "I have a way with old women." -Josh Reid "Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It wasn't sweet, it was creepy." -Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't given "I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain." -Katie Mohler "Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped worrying about updating the score list." -Ryan Szrama, commenting on his alma mater's basketball team "What can go wrong on Appreciate a Dragon Day?" -Lori Wanman "Do you enjoy making people feel retarded? You behave like that is your job in life." -Jessica Cimato "Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?" -Peter Sieg "Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests." -Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months of pastoring at IBC have been "If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned marooned Moon." -Michael Jenkins "Can we call you 'Special Dark'?" -Stephen Mobley "Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip." -Me, on how to order water at Starbucks "It's you to an unsanctified T." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It's like a workout, having a conversation with you." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "I shot the French Press..." -Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff "Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!" -Off White "Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!" -Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend "It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in 4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it yet.'" -Catherine Huffman "It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since you took Geometry." -Peter Sieg, to me "You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we both blame your camera." -Catherine Huffman "You're going to die soon, anyway." -Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday "I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver." -Stephen Mobley "It's likely but unlikely." -Ben Hedrick "There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto." -Jessica Vaughn "The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'" -Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh "Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?" -Ben Hedrick "It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?" -Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know what car she drives?" "High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!" -Josh Reid "Man, she's finer than a frog hair!" -Josh Reid "I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'" -Heather Seagle "Where's my phone?" -Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone "Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I don't get kicked." -Me "Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a close call!" -Dana W "I don't want to see this on your blog." -Ryan Fullerton "John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle, here is his frown." -Ben Hedrick "Oh shutup, voicemail person!" -Stephen Mobley " 'P' as in 'purgatory.' " -Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call "You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry." -Stephen Mobley "Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than say, Katie Mohler." -Johanna Tollefson "You just called me a chunker!" -Christin Simpson "We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.' " -Peter Sieg "My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist." -Christin Simpson "How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' " -Christin Simpson "Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how he peed in worship, it confused me." -Katie Mohler "Yes, I'm precious and all that." -Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment "Do you have a numerical number for that?" -Stephen Mobley "I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that." -Peter Sieg "That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it." -Stephen Mobley "Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other non-contiguous U.S. states." -Stephen Mobley "In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time." -Christin Simpson "They never know whether to come out the front or the back." -Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes "I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'." -Andy Lowe "Could you translate that out of Letototian?" -Lauren Farmer "Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles moments lately." -Me "I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking." -Michael Butterworth "She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't big-boned, she was Hispanic." -Ryan Szrama "More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster." -Allison Poplin "Mmm, Chapstick!" -Allison Poplin "It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a headstand in a ditch." -Christin Simpson "The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is admitting I'm a stupid haole." -Christine Robertson "I said 'teached,' man!" -Christin Simpson "I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom." -Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly "Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!" -Thomas Amos "Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple years older.' " -Anonymous "He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!" -Me "Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear." -Dr. Mohler "I've got fans all over." -Lauren Farmer "I'm having my own personal hot flash right now." -Bobby House "Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is actually with a woman!" -Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog "Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of." -Pablo Butterworth "I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the Servant Towel award by taking me or something?" -Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet "I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all." -Christin Simpson "The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate." -Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream "Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!" -Amanda Ledbetter "I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier to understand." -Dr. Joslin, on women "One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active social life, or she's just fat." -Richard B. Hardison "You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly. Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that turns out." -Jon "Jew" Borofsky "Are you dressing Katie Mohler?" -R. Lauren Duncan "They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?" -Andrew "I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches." -Michael Butterworth "I really like the smell of gasoline." -Katie Mohler "You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out and take the elevator." -Bobby House "But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you." -Nick Crouse "Gomez, you're Hispanic?" -Matt Svoboda "'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?" -Lauren Farmer "You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke." -Moon Pie Godfrey "It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!" -Lauren Farmer "I've had the passion, I just need the purity." -Emily Dick "I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right? Letoto's going to be there!'" -Warren Kesselring "I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put on lots of flannel." -Ricky Hardison "You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?" -Sarah Cress "So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones." -Christin Simpson "I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks." -Emily O'Neal "I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time." -Taryn Walker "You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College." -Michael Butterworth "Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white." -Cole Harper "I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'" -Emily Dick "I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have boyish charm." -Jeff Pearson "If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart, it's a bad idea." -David Borreson "Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!" -Chriyus Davis "When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' " -Chriyus Davis "What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here." -Lauren Farmer "I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?" -Andrew, talking about his father's birthday. "What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?" -Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she went to look up what he meant "Stop flashing everyone!" -Carla "I didn't know I was going to see everything!" -Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth "Which would suck!" -Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in heaven...before his marriage "Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?" -Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes "I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a good tree to climb by Mullins." -Michael Butterworth "You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts." -Scott O'Neal "It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger." -Andrew "And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!" -Emily Dick "Is Scott the white-haired guy?" -Brandon Stern "The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I really hope I don't fart." -Kristy White "Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin." -Katy Cavaliere "I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs." -Andrew "Stretch" Holley "And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that." -Scott O'Neal "I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart." -Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo "I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people, why I wasn't married." -Christine Robertson "Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol' woman with a 'fro." -Chriyus Davis "Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think that's romantic." -Lauren Farmer "We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity." -Lauren Farmer "Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense, you may have hit the skin on the head." -Me, to Matt Teves "Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!" -Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning "Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot." -Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat "Who's the brown one?" -Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus "A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say or do is not a world I want to live in." -Michael Butterworth "Abby marches to the beat of her own flute." -Scott O'Neal "I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee." -Jennifer Miller "What's a 'good game'?" -Katie Mohler "Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I used to give myself french manicures with it." -R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper "It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails." -Trey Fuller "How do you think that small?" -Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting "I like to curl up in the bathroom." -Pablo Butterworth "I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's not a universal song, it's in a different language." -R. Lauren Duncan "We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!" -A.D. "I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place." -Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message "Sounds like a bladder control problem." -Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during dorm meeting "Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?" -Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey Cashell "So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward." -R. Lauren Duncan, about...something "Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!" -Boss "When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a different matter altogether." -Scott O'Neal "That's too much chocolate for you!" -Bobby House III "Dude, there's a lot of white people up here." -Kawika, on being in Indiana "This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp." -Sandi, on the sermons at their church "I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male." -Heidi Marlene Johnson "Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know, that ninja look." -Lisa, to me "You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!" -A certain manager at a certain store "He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count. You're right, he is the only guy we've got." -A certain coworker at a certain store. "She's the manliest girl I know." -Christina Thompson "Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're better looking than most of the guys here." -Nathan Fulllerton "Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed kids together." -Scott O'Neal "How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that Uch is off the market." -Goose "It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!" -Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate "I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'" -Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to take over the airsoft world "You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get Government Service out of John." -Goose "Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months." -Goose "Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!" -Boss "How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes." -Jeff Cavanaugh "Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk." -Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk "I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke." -Joel Gasparotto, to me "No. But several kids." -Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?" "I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..." -Me "I think these are unthawed." -Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken "You mean frozen?" -Matt Crawford, in response to Scott "Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!" -Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain Hawaiian "He's the closest thing to Black I got here!" -Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian was the most ethnically similar person at the camp "Nice body!" -Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball "I could take you...to a movie." -Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students present "It's my bladder!" -Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang "John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I." -Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or imagined) I have upon them "At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'" -Me "Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what I wrote up there." -Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger "Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day." -Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania "Did he sound winded?" -Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night... "Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!" -Boss "I don't do that, that would be too unmanly." -Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails "More of an acquired taste than kim chee." -Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music "That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed with Shirley Temples." -Christin Simpson "Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are odd' girl." -Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her blossoming reputation "Hurry, before the smears come out!" -Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall "All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait" -Andrew Strickland, while leading worship "She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her." -Lisa "I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better bed partner now." -R. Lauren Duncan "I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!" -One of the Brownies from Willow "I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!" -Same Brownie "Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!" -Drunk Brownie from Willow "No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher." -Gary "It's probably providential." -Chip Collins "One more wave." -Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air "Well basically..." -James McCray "I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground." -RAM, Jr. "If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing her away from all the decent guys." -Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away "Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome." -Dr. Mohler "Hey! How are you doing?" -Rob Smythe "I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in the bathroom!" -Boss "So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?" -Aaron Filippone "The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me." -Darren Thomas "Hairy in the face and chest?" -Me, in response to Darren "Oh, cuss word!" -Moon Pie "If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize." -Pablo Butterworth "These *are* my dress socks. They're clean." -Goose "Before the throne of God above..." -Jonathan Leeman...singing "I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane." -Michelle "Piss on a biscuit!" -Fritzy "I saw Toto, and he's black!" -R. Lauren Duncan "You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail." -Pablo Butterworth "I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there." -Jordan Cole "Can she have a man?" -Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie "I am irresistible to men..." -Poenie Tree "Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!" -AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite "Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?" -Tyler Ratliff "She shook his butt before she shook his hand!" -Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce "Would you look at that BUTT?" -Pablo Butterworth "It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards." -Pablo Butterworth "He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us, sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives or anything.)" -Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce "Paul, I think we should mate." -Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of Psychiatrist "You're classic, not metro." -Elizabeth Foster "I need ocean." -Me "Oh, I have some!" -R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me "Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two completely different things." -Dr. Draper "The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!" -Chris...something "I hated you when I first met you." -Scott O'Neal "Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..." -Pablo Butterworth "Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going to die teaching and I want to be there for it." -Pablo Butterworth "I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise." -Pablo Butterworth "I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out." -Michael Butterworth "I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive." -Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth "Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How did you become sexy?' " -Pablo Butterworth "Stop vacuuming my crack!" -Chris Sellers "That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any taller..." -Melissa Hermoso "You smell like my mom!" -Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "It's Allure for *men*, people!" -Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!" -Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair "We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down." -Michael Butterworth "I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials." -Billy Reddick "You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder." -Kristina Pelhank, to me "I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen, and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen floor.' " -Pablo Butterworth "You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into trouble, and yours gets you out of it." -Aaron Coffey, to me "The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing." -Michael Butterworth "Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!" -Sarah El-Masri "I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play XBox all night long, baby!" -Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit "Please stalk me at your earliest convienence." -Sarah Cress "There's a two year-old flirting with me!" -Ashlea Davenport "I used to have a neck, then something happened." -Bobby House "Can I buy three blacks from you?" -Pablo Butterworth "Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep." -Chip Collins "You're the ugly girl!" -Candace Boyd "No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!" -Scott O'Neal and me "I grew up with that but in Spanish." -Liz Mejia "One day the three of us will be married!" -R. Lauren Duncan "We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And, he was BIG!" -Matty Teves "Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's right...............the Holy Spirit." -Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something "That's a good length, that's pettable." -R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head "There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size." -Kristy Miller "Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!" -Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball "Mr. Herringbone understands." -Katie Mohler "Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?" -Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by Katie Mohler "Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type in, 'butt,' and you come up." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "The chocolate chip in the cookie." -Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our family "I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk." -Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8 white guys "I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!" -Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere "So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking and it startled me." -Sarah Cress "Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Jane!" -Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan "I went sniffing once." -Katie Mohler "Can you use that in a definition?" -Sarah Cress "Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's shopping again." -R. Lauren Duncan "They had her fork here and I ate it." -R. Lauren Duncan "What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Every outfit you wear is a statement." -Scott O'Neal "Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?" -Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at Southeast Christian Church "He likes to sit in my drawers." -R. Lauren Duncan "It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate." -James Losey, about me "I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!" -Heidi Marlene Johnson "I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus." -Me "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in that order." -Pablo Butterworth "I eat soap for breakfast." -Sarah Cress "I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway." -Rob Smythe "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." -Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects "Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something." -Janal Prybys "More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing." -Pablo Butterworth "I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock." -Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish "This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high." -Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person "Hold me like you used to." -Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated "This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably retarded." -Jessica Cimato "And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash." -Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood "Oh, I love that movie!" -Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson "They have male stores?" -Katie Mohler "She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal." -R. Lauren Duncan "You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook." -Michael Butterworth "Yes, it's my purse." -James Losey "There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has been inflicted with The Terror!" -Kristina Pelhank "You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk away, but for some strange reason, I can't." -Sarah Cress "John gave me a good wedgie." -Pablo Butterworth "I won't say whoooole falsehoods..." -Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok "I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet." -Michael Butterworth "God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love." -Michael Butterworth "This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you." -Rob Smythe "Next year you'll be in the zoo." -Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey "I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up undergrad chicks, too." -Michael Butterworth "I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those blue nasty ones." -R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman, when speaking of it being blue and nasty "Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?" -R. Lauren Duncan "May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much', because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day." -Jessica Cimato "'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly." -R. Lauren Duncan "I have some ligament in the car." -R. Lauren Duncan "I lost it from all the throwing up I did." -R. Lauren Duncan "He's a Filipino knockoff!" -David Brandt, commenting on me "No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!" -Chris Sellers "You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?" -Sarah El-Masri, to me "You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about girls, you're never going to get married." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's older than you." -Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer "She's not the kind of guy you'd go for." -Me "I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow." -Jessica Cimato, to me "From this angle, I can see everything!" -Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt "Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?" -R. Lauren Duncan, to me "If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer." -Pablo Butterworth "You are not going to put that on Facebook!" -Pablo Butterworth "I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts." -Nick Crouse "They're *macadamia* nuts!" -Ryan Travis "Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They charge you nine dollars an hour!" -Brian Buck "Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?" -Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage Hall "Are you ok? I just wet my pants." -R. Lauren Duncan "I just want to marry a pastor." -Blind Brandon