Smeagol is Free! A hermitudinal view of...stuff...

3.28.2004   Because they can... WARNING: The contents of this post not intended for readers lacking Y chromosomes. Hmmm. Imagine my surprise when, walking out of Blind Brandon's dorm room after finishing up my most recent post (not even one minute old, mind you), Ray tells me that he (Ray) and Valleyhoos just wrestled. After they got out of the shower. Naked. *Sigh*...the adventures of repressed Christians at Boyce continue. Repressed Southern Baptists at Boyce, mind you, are even more deeply...ummm...prone to display their depravity :) posted by Bolo | 7:57 AM 0 speakage   Conversations I had a couple of interesting conversations last night...first with Brian, than with Garcia. God continues to humble me and use me...why, I don't think I'll ever fully understand. I realized once more in my conversation with Brian that I'm still very much prone to failure - yet God uses me, changes me, and works through those failures. I also realized how precious a blessing humility is. I'm so blind to my arrogance, yet God continues to humble me in gentle and patient ways...I can only pray that He'll continue to do that. Bob Kauflin, when he was at our PTS meeting a couple weeks ago, reminded us that God gives grace to the humble. In other words, God works a certain way in our lives only when we're humble. *Sigh*...that's a hard truth to swallow. It's also an encouraging one, because I'm so very much prone to walk in pride, not humility. Knowing God's gracious ways toward the humble encourages me to be just that, because there's no way I want to miss out on God's blessing. Speaking to Garcia...*sigh*...sometimes it's like talking to a girl, in that I often wonder if he'll ever get it. Hehe...I'll probably get in trouble for that one...oh well...I just got off an eight hour overnight shift...I'll justify my silliness to my current state of sleep deprivation :) Still, I love him. I was able to take him straight to God's word and walk him through Scripture. That in and of itself is always amazing to me, because when I do that with someone I'm reminded of my own standing before God in Christ. Yes, it's a sweet blessing. Will those lessons and memories from just a few hours ago stick with me this week? I hope so. I'm headed to Franklin, Kentucky in less than twelve hours with Royce. I'll be staying with him and his family for a couple of days...I pray the time will be a blessing to everyone. posted by Bolo | 7:47 AM 0 speakage 3.26.2004   I can only imagine... A week ago, we, the Boyce Junkies, were on our way to Country Lake Christian Retreat for our annual Spring Retreat. This time, however, was different, as we had a co-ed camp. The retreat was great, and Scott and I both agreed that it went very well. What a difference a week makes. Today the campus is in a much different mood. Spring Reading Days are upon us, and with that comes a sense of desertion. Those still around are knocking on doors, peeking into dorm rooms, and making recollections of recent converstions in an attempt to tally up who's here and who's not. Me being me, am still here, and will be here pretty much the whole week. I'll probably go with Royce to Franklin, Kentucky, for a day or so to stay with him and his family. *Sigh*...as I type, yet another fellow Boyce student is leaving the fourth floor of Carver, on his way toward sunnier skies...friends and family...three to five and glassy at Kewalo's...lunch at Kua'aina...dinner at mom's...dawn patrol with Andrew and Brian...oh wait...that's not them :) This weekend is Preview Weekend at Boyce, with prospective students making their way onto campus to check out the school. Last night we played Capture The Flag, which always draws a decent crop of prospective students. Blind Brandon pulled off what is already known as one of the greatest captures in Boyce CTF history during the second game: a sprint that turned into a sliding capture as he went down the hill, right through the heart of the orange defense. I had a perfect view of it...oh my goodness...talk about sweet! People will be talking about this one for a while...I'll make sure of it :) Alrighty...I gotta head down to the Patio Room to play some Mafia... posted by Bolo | 7:37 PM 0 speakage 3.25.2004   Today Whoa, I look up, and it's already Thursday. This week's been flying by. Actually, the semester's been flying by; we're already more than halfway through, and next week we'll have "Spring Reading Days"...it's the Southern Baptist equivalent of Spring Break ;) I've spent the past few days going a little nutso...I had a New Testament II mid-term on Monday, plus that Romans background paper I still had to finish up (which, discerning reader, you may identify as having been due the previous Monday). Tuesday...what happened Tuesday? Oh. I woke up when Big Daddy Dan Sheerin nearly killed me with his book bag...that was a close call...I'd crashed for the night in Scott's and Biggz's, and Dan came in somewhere around 9:30 with his breakfast, ready to watch some of The Godfather, and realized my body was under the blanket he was about to toss his hefty book bag onto. Come to think of it...I'm not sure what'd be worse...death by bag, or death by Dan's big butt. Yeesh...not pleasant. Wednesday...yesterday...oh, scholarship apps and taxes. The 1040A kicked my butt for a little bit, and then I had to fill out some forms on CSS' website. *Groan*...it's been a heck of a week. But today. Oh my goodness, Today! There's no need for bundling up, as Spring really, truly, unashamedly is here :) The birds are singing, the flowers blooming, and the sun is...well...it's kind of shining! *Sigh*...*grin*...it's the kind of day that makes you want to sit down and laugh for no reason. Maybe I'll go do just that. posted by Bolo | 9:28 AM 1 speakage 3.22.2004   Good stuff "When I try to appear to do good, that's the point at which I cease to do good." That's what Leeman told me last week. He'd taught a Sunday School class on Pharisaism, and the summation of his teaching could be captured in that one statement. We spoke for a while on the weight of that truth, because as we examined our lives, we realized how deeply guilty we are of the very Pharisaism we preach so loudly against. We do things to appear good before others. For our reputations. So that others will think we're spiritual. In hopes that our peers will notice. And all the while, we decry the very things we do. The only thing is, no one else knows, no one else can tell, so it's easy to get away with. *Sigh*...it's a hard habit to break, ya know? This weekend, I examined my soul a bit. Hehe...that's like saying I thought about surfing a bit. Understatement...major understatement :) Feeling down and more than a little frustrated with the state of my soul, I pulled Scott on the side at one point (we were at Boyce's Spring Retreat...more on that later) and asked him to bless me through encouragement, admonishment, and prayer. I told him I was feeling the weight of my sinful flesh. In retrospect, I'm thinking perhaps this is one of those times that God's remaining silent in order to draw me closer to Him. *Sigh*...it's a hard thing to deal with. I look inside my heart, and all I see is failure. My own failure, mind you; God never fails. Everything I do is tainted with sin, no matter how pure I may desire for my motives to be. Everything I offer up to the Lord is unacceptable on its own; how I easily forget that I must go through the righteousness of Christ! About a week and a half ago, I wrote a decently lengthly entry...I want to say it was on a Friday afternoon. Well, when I published that entry, it somehow got lost in an Hypertext Transfer Protocol (a.k.a. HTTP) error. Bleh. Yeah, that one bites a big one. I never rewrote it, partially because I didn't have the time at the time, and partially because it was on a topic I'd been...well...pained to write on. Now, however, I've decided to write on it. When I think about the people in my life, I'm brought to grieving very quickly. I'm ashamed of how I deal with my own circumstances when I think of their situations: illness, confusion, seemingly needless suffering, and death. I can't begin to comprehend what many of my friends and family are going through, and still more, I can't even begin to think of how to minister to them. I hate it. I feel helpless, weak, tiny, insignificant, and so far removed from their lives. *Sigh*...you know what? In a very sobering way, I am. I can't bring someone back from the dead. I can't make someone see the beauty of God's purpose in violent crimes...that happen directly to them. I can't stop the growth of cancerous tissues. I can't force God's saving grace upon someone...that's His alone to give. I can't even put myself in the crowd to watch my nephew's first baseball game. I wish I could, but I can't. My limitations drive me to anger...they drive me to sadness...they drive me to tears...ultimately, though, they drive me to the place I need to be. The Cross. If I'm not there, where am I? It's where I truly see how weak I am, unable to do any good on my own. But the Cross is where I have to go...if I don't go there, what will I do? I'll gnaw on myself until I'm crazy. God reminds me that where I cannot raise the dead or grant eternal life to someone, He can. He reminds me that in my own life, in my own failures, He's still at work in spite of all I do. At the Cross of Christ, I am shown God's righteousness, His right to allow suffering and His right to show mercy. At the Cross, I am shown the right I have to plead for His mercy on behalf of my own wretched soul, and on behalf of others. The Cross. *Sigh*...if I'm not there, where am I? It's the only place where confusions are cleared, and pains made sweet. posted by Bolo | 3:05 PM 0 speakage 3.18.2004   Haunting Romans 12:9. I told Leeman today that it's been one of the verses that keeps coming to my mind. Let love be without hypocrisy. *Sigh*...I struggle mightily to not only love, but to love genuinely...without hypocrisy. I look at my life, I look at my interaction with others, and I realize how deeply I fail to love as the Lord commands...without hypocrisy. I'm so very arrogant, so very proud of who I am and who God is making me to be, that I must say that I do not love...without hypocrisy. That verse haunts me. A good haunting, mind you, but a haunting nevertheless. It's almost like I can hear the Lord whisper it to me...let your love be without hypocrisy, John. And oh, how I need it! I am so very prone to be fake, to have impure and selfish motives, that I cannot possibly trust myself to follow this command to its fullest measure. No; I must keep vigil in making sure that I love not only as Christ loves, but through Christ. Yes, that is the only way that I can truly love without hypocrisy! For it is only through the cross of Christ that I can even begin to love purely. posted by Bolo | 9:45 AM 0 speakage 3.17.2004   One and only I've thought a lot about my dad recently. Those thoughts have been...well...painful. He's 73...74 before long, and I keep thinking to myself, "how long does he have?" It's not that I fear death, as that in and of itself isn't something that is worth fearing. For me, death here on earth is but a release from my sinful flesh (to list only one benefit). No...with my dad, it's the state of his soul that makes me fear his death. It's the state of his soul that makes me wonder if he'll ever truly live. Unless God changes his heart, I wake up each day thinking I may never see my father again. Never. I think about my brother a lot, too. He knows better than his lifestyle indicates. When will he learn? I mean, really learn? I don't know...and it's a hard thing to continually wonder. But I must. If I don't, if I give up on them, I'm in a sense giving up on God...I'm giving up on the Cross. I can't give up on that, because that's not only the only hope I have for their lives, it's the only hope I have for my life. If I give up on the cross, I give up on the very reason and means for and by which I rise out of bed every morning. The Cross is how I can take hope beyond my frail flesh, lift my head, and rejoice in knowing that Christ has won, and I do not have to admit defeat. The Cross is how I can look at those two men whom I love dearly, and take hope beyond their frail flesh that one day they'll lift their heads and rejoice in knowing that Christ has won for them, and they no longer have to admit defeat. Keep hoping with me...the Cross is our only hope. posted by Bolo | 4:51 PM 0 speakage 3.16.2004   Make A Everyone else was moving to get up; I couldn't move. I didn't really want to, either. Dorm Meeting was over, and I could only sit there and think of how tiny my apprehension of Christ truly is. As everyone filed out of Boyce Chapel, I read through Isaiah 53 and Hebrews 9 and 10. Ruszkiewicz asked me what I was reading through. (He's good like that...always going to scripture whenever possible.) As I pondered what scripture was telling me of Christ, all I could think of was how much I didn't deserve to be pondering Christ in that way. *Sigh*...God is so good to me, and I'm so unwilling to accept His goodness. Yeah...God is good. The past week has been both good and...well...not so good...but still good. Yesterday afternoon, I was in the computer lab, working on my background paper on the book of Romans. 8 - 20 pages, double spaced, to include background information on the book and a short summary of each chapter. I'd procrastinated (duh), and so I was constantly checking the clock, seeing if I had enough time to finish it before 6:30 pm, when I had to hand it in. Then I realized something. I was studying the book of Romans...Romans!...and I wasn't treating it with the respect God's word deserves. Chiefly on my mind was getting the assignment done, and wondering if I could pull off yet another last-minute assignment that I'd still get an A on. *Sigh*...such was the way I was treating God's word. I stopped typing and put my books away. I walked outside, angry at myself, frustrated at my horrible motives. Why am I here? A good grade on a paper, in a class? To make the Dean's List? For my degree? Nope. I'm going to finish the background study on Romans, and I'm going to do it well. I pray God's Spirit teaches me as I do it; after all, I'll be doing it to His glory :) posted by Bolo | 12:04 AM 0 speakage 3.10.2004   Wrong with a capital R Is nothing sacred?!?!?!?! Click here...*sigh*...it's just so wrong! (I'm not ranting...I said I wouldn't...I'm just pointing out the obvious.) posted by Bolo | 9:21 AM 0 speakage 3.09.2004   Rewind It's supposed to snow this week. Stupid weather. That's my rant for the week. I'm done...I promise :) Sometimes, somewhere around the early morning hours, my mind begins to wander, and I'll find myself walking amongst memories that are more vivid than reality. I see myself paddling out with The Crew...Brian and Andrew and Brit and Steak Sauce and Mikami and Kawamura and Sarah and Bubble Boy and Joyce and Josh "I'm from Kaimuki" (yeah...whatevah!) Chang. Sometimes, I'd be paddling out with no one...solo mission. I can see the surf as I'd paddle out, enough to make me excited, enough to make me paddle faster and let out a little yell. Oooohhhh...three to four and glassy...the sunset swell...the entire break all to myself, or sharing the break with Uchida and Cabreros...*sigh*... I remember walking/jogging in the airport with Andrew, Jeff about a hundred yards behind us, quickly falling even further behind...only this time, we're not going to see anyone else off at the gate...it's Uchida himself who's leaving...I remember how we did the same thing exactly one week before, running to see Cabreros off at his gate, Jeff about a hundred yards behind us. Yeah...they left...those stinkers...now they're back, and I'm the one that's gone. I can see the house on Judd street...the crazy all night gaming sessions Goose and I would pull...the games of Shanghai we'd play with Spike...the times Andy took my Reefs and I went ballistic, the hundreds of times I'd wake up and see Andy sleeping on the living room floor, lying facedown, his hands protecting his future kids...David eating the banana, with the peel and all...Big Haole Gabe saying, "hey, it's the white guy!" when I walked in the door...oh, and who can forget the B & J's binges? Two for five! *Sigh*...good times :) I remember the night before I left. January 11, 2003. I was running late. Again. (I think that's one reason Andrew and I get along so well...we know exactly what time we're really going to show up for something without talking about it...or sometimes if we do talk about it, we still know what time we're really going to show up.) Random people came over to Mary and Kawika's, but eventually Matthew, Dean, and Boss were sitting outside with me, trying to find the right things to say, as if we could magically slow time down if we just found the right words. I remember how the clouds were streaking across the sky sort of strangely that night, and how I felt so far removed from leaving, as if I still had another week to go. Maybe, in another year or so, those same memories will be just as vivid. Maybe, in another ten years or so, I'll have memories from here that will be just as vivid. posted by Bolo | 2:09 PM 0 speakage 3.08.2004   It happens I've heard, in recent weeks, a word that has caught my attention. Its etymological origins are unclear, yet I like it so much, it warrants an entry all its own. The word? Kudebhinayah. It looks and sounds somewhat African, but I'm not sure. The meaning is somewhat similar to *bleep* happens, but with this word, I can at least say it on campus and not get a look like I just said I'm transferring to BYU. Oh well. Kudebhinayah! posted by Bolo | 5:02 PM 0 speakage   A Tale of Two Minutes The Random Thoughts of the Day. Sometime around 5:00 am EST, I went to bed. At 7:10 am EST, my alarm went off. I think I may have heard it somewhere around 7:12 am EST. Aaaahhh, the glorious sensations of just two hours of sleep! The school cafeteria had, for just $2.95, eggplant stuffed with sausage. Oh my goodness...that stuff was GOOD. It was half of the fat eggplant, too, not da skinny kine we used to grow in Mr. Saiki's class. Yup...buggah was ONO! The sausage was excellent, and they added some other things (like raisins for a sweet burst every now and then) that sent my tongue to heaven. Not to mention the eggplant...oh my...I LOVE eggplant...*sigh*... I'm still trying to pick up a second job. I've applied at Home Depot, but I have applications to turn in to some other places on my hit list. So yeah...pray for that for me...I really want to honor God, as I've felt conviction from Him lately concerning this. I've realized that if I'm not being fervently obedient about things He convicts me in, I'm being disobedient. And that, my friends, is never a good thing. I spoke to Matt yesterday while he was on his way to work at Ward Starbucks. He told me he was at Jack in the Crack grabbing some grub, and I didn't think much of it. Then he said, "you know, I'm never going to be able to turn out of here." Right then, I knew exactly where he was: the Jack's on the 'Ewa and Makai corner of Kapi'olani and Ward. The traffic over there is always heinous, almost no matter what time of day. I told him this, and he was like, "see John, you have to come back. You know your home too well to be away from it!" In a way, he's right. I do know my home...I love it...I miss it...I think about it often. But you know what? It's about what I wrote in the previous paragraph...I have to be fervently obedient, and part of that is staying here and doing what God would have me do for as long as He would have me do it. I also believe that a large part of that fervor is joy; that's how God created us to live! Oh, one more thing about what Matt said. He was right about me knowing my home too well...my true home, that is. God has placed within those whom He has chosen a desire for our true home, our everlasting home. While I'm still here in the world, I'll always long for my true home, and my heart will ever grow in that desire as God weans me off the things of this world. Still, I'd love to be back in Hawai'i. Oh, to feel the sun on my skin, to smell the flowers and hear the waves! I'd give my left...ummm...pinky finger...yeah, pinky finger, to be back home right now. After all, I don't need that to set a volleyball. Actually, no, I take that back. I need that to type. I'd give a toe instead :) posted by Bolo | 3:29 PM 0 speakage 3.06.2004   Who's the Boss? Reason #74 why Boyce College Rocks: The Pastor-Theologian Society, better known as PTS. This past Thursday, we had our third meeting of the semester. The topic? Discipleship. We looked at several different types and models for discipleship, covering the massive small groups of 60 or more all the way to one on one accountability. I must admit I was pretty tired, and I felt like I was going to fall asleep through most of it. Still, what Leeman said toward the end has stuck in my head in a great way. He asked if he might submit to us that discipleship, no matter what the type or model, requires two things in order to truly be discipleship, and neither one of those things exists without the other. Authority and Submission. It's not a formula, it's not some mystical spritual secret, but it did ring true in my heart, and I believe that's because it rings true in Scripture. Think about it. When we submit to those in authority over us, whether they be pastors, elders within the church, or even our parents (no matter how old we are), there's something right about that submission. It's because God designed us that way. In such submission, we are living out the idea that we trust those to whom God has given authority to govern and guide us. In submission, we are acknowledging not only that God knows best when He places certain individuals in authority over us, but also that those individuals are recognizing the great responsibility they bear in their God-given authority. I think of the great mentors I have, both past and present, all of whom I still look to for guidance, and probably will until the end of my life. Jon...Gary...Jonathan...all have blessed me greatly, and still do. After thinking about what Jonathan said Thursday night, I can look back and see that when I submitted myself to their authority, I was then able to reap the heaping dividends of their wisdom. What an amazing grace! One more thing. It's amazing to think that even in this, we can follow Christ's example. He Himself submits to the will of the Father. Think about that; within the trinity, we have this idea of authority and submission on display. Amazing! "Not My will, but Your will be done." Yes...amazing. posted by Bolo | 11:16 AM 0 speakage 3.05.2004   Translations from the Elvish It's Friday. My eyeballs burn just a tad, my legs have a hint of an ache from playing Ultimate yesterday, and my brain is just awake enough for me to be dangerous...in other words, I may start spouting out Elvish phrases in the middle of a conversation. Oops :) Signs of Spring are finally here. Flowers are beginning to bloom, the temperature is civil, and hopes of a tan have returned to my saddened soul. *Cough* :) Hmmm...random thought: I don't understand why Singles Awareness Day would be in the middle of February when it's cold and miserable, as opposed to say, March or April, when the weather is far more agreeable to such things. I guess there are some intricacies of human behavior I'll never truly understand. I've got a little bit of paperwork to do today. Scott Davis, from the Admissions Office, had wanted me to apply to be a Student Ambassador for Boyce. The Ambassadors help prospective students get to know Boyce a little better, and help make the college search as smooth as possible. My guess is they want me to help fill the ethnic/cultural/denominational diversity quota ;) It's kind of funny, really, 'cause if you look at pictures on the school's website, you'll see a much higher ratio of "culturally diverse" students than really is the case. In any event, I really wouldn't mind doing it, simply because I do promote the school whenever I get a chance. I love it, I believe in it, and I tell people that. Even if we're not as culturally diverse as the pictures indicate ;) posted by Bolo | 12:23 PM 0 speakage 3.04.2004   Out of the Loop So. That passage in Galatians. After reading it, and reading it again, and again, and again, and still scratching my head, I read it out loud to Erin. She didn't have a clue. Neither did Dan, for that matter. My thoughts on the matter? I'm thinking the last sentence, "now an intermediary implies more than one, but God is one" is saying that God is mediating between Himself, in some fashion. How so? Well, mediation is required when there is a reconciliation of some sort that is needed by two (or more) parties...say, X and Y. Yet here, it seems to be saying that God was mediating between Himself...He's both X and Y. (This sounds way too much like algebra for my liking...it's easy to explain this way, though.) What's the significance of that? Not a whole lot...at least, not on its own. It does, however, bring to mind the passage in Genesis 15 where God makes His Spirit pass between the split animal carcasses, essentially saying to Abraham (and us), "so be it (death) to Me if I should fail in keeping this covenant." Yet, when we look at the cross, and realize it was His intent all along to bring about reconciliation through that sacrifice, He was essentially saying, "so be it to Me if I should fail in keeping this covenant, yet this covenant will not be fulfilled unless this happens to me." In Genesis 15, God tells us that the covenant with Abraham is one that is entirely on His end; Abraham has no part of the covenant to fulfill. Abraham simply enjoys! Galatians 3:20 shows us again that God removes us from the loop of reconciliation; we have no part in the actual reconciliation. We simply enjoy! One last note. Some of you may be going, "but what about obedience? What about listening to God? What about the instruction that God gave to Moses, or even the commandments that Jesus gave us? How is it that we "simply enjoy"? I would say this: obeying and listening to the instruction and commandments are part of what we do when we enjoy God. Yet, we would have no right nor be able to enjoy God if He did not reconcile us to Himself through Christ...through Himself. Because of that, because it is still God who is at work in us through Christ, we are able to enjoy Him. Yep...there for the reading are my thoughts on the matter. Chip and Cleve and Jared seemed to think I wasn't too far off my rocker :) I think I need to consult a couple of commentaries to firm it up, but it seems to make sense. posted by Bolo | 9:37 AM 0 speakage 3.03.2004   Humor Scott and I came to a consensus: no matter how much you try to ignore them, no matter how much you try not to think about them, or claim to not think about them, girls are there, and you think about them. Bleh. It's like salt water in your ear after you surf. No matter how much you shake your head, tilt it to the side and shake it, close your eyes and scream and plead for mercy, your noggin is still plagued. Relentlessly. Right, Boss? :) And who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? On a far better note, Spring is finally in the air. At last, at long last, Spring is here! Well, kind of. I'm not sure exactly when it officially starts, but we've experienced a little bit of a warming up recently, and I can't say I'm not the happier for it. *Sigh*...I can almost imagine what the sun feels like when it's hot enough to make you sweat when you sit outside of Ward Starbucks and you see the tan line on your shorts after sitting for just five minutes or so. Yes, I miss home ;) One more thing before I head to chapel. I was reading through Galatians yesterday, and I hit one of those places that made me want to yell at Paul. Galatians 3:15 - 20 reads as follows in the ESV: "To give a human example, brothers: even with a man-made covenant, no one annuls it or adds to it once it has been ratified. Now the promises were made to Abraham and to his offspring. It does not say, "And to offsprings," referring to many, but referring to one, "And to your offspring," who is Christ. This is what I mean: the law, which came 430 years afterward, does not annul a covenant previously ratified by God, so as to make the promise void. For if the inheritance comes by the law, it no longer comes by promise; but God gave it to Abraham by a promise. Why then the law? It was added because of transgressions, until the offspring should come to whom the promise had been made, and it was put in place through angels by an intermediary. Now an intermediary implies more than one, but God is one." What made me go nuts was that last portion. What's he saying? Several thoughts come to mind; perhaps I'll post them later. Gotta run :) posted by Bolo | 9:53 AM 0 speakage 3.01.2004   Boasting 1 Corinthians 1:26 - 31 reads, "For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, so that, just as it is written, "Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord."" Ouch. I don't have a whole lot to write on that one, other than this statement, which is true at nearly all times: my boasting is most definitely not in the Lord, even when it may appear to be. I've thought about that verse a lot today, along with Galatians 5:14. "But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Do I boast? Absolutely. In the cross? Yeah. Only in the cross? *Sigh*...nope. It's almost as if Paul is telling me to let my desires, my joys, my hopes, my motives, my everything, to be in the cross. That's obvious, isn't it? But then he nails me down by asking me, "do you boast? If you do, do you boast only in the cross of Christ?" When he speaks of boasting, he calls into question my pride. Is my pride in myself, or is it solely in Christ? Because if it's not, then my desires, my joys, my hopes, my motives, my everything is not pointed toward Christ. No...it's pointed toward me. And isn't that what happened in the Garden of Eden? Isn't that what Christ came to put to death? *Sigh*... posted by Bolo | 5:50 PM 0 speakage Dell Coupons		Daily Coffee Sweet Maria's James Hoffmann Theologous Desiring God Ministries Monergism Discerning Reader Albert Mohler, Jr. Russell Moore 9 Marks Play Jock Think Laugh Foxtrot User Friendly Learn National Geographic Geek out. Again.   Read Paint Prayer Pleasures Commune Galactic Wabbit Great Listen Jack Finished Discover Tones of Fleck Step In the Arms Smashing Thinking Visualize Facebook Albums (Updated 3/21/2007) Blogging Buddies Homeage Gary Uch Boss Kev Goose Mark Rich Sanchez Mon & Dave Leo Barb Brit The 'Villeage O'Neals Jim Hilliard Pablo Butterworth the Younger Nikki Lefty Ashlea Parris Cavies Calvinaugh Weenie & Elizabeth Owen T4G Tim Bob Josh Christman Szrama Ryherd Brandt Hutch FYI FYI TV CMac Maiden Dana Dubya Old School Memories Faith... Wonder... Empty Snaps Manna The Misses Character Me Me Bug Me smeagolisfree@gmail.com AIM: MrToto2U Facebook Yore 03.2003 / 04.2003 / 05.2003 / 06.2003 / 07.2003 / 08.2003 / 09.2003 / 10.2003 / 11.2003 / 12.2003 / 01.2004 / 02.2004 / 03.2004 / 04.2004 / 05.2004 / 06.2004 / 07.2004 / 08.2004 / 09.2004 / 10.2004 / 11.2004 / 12.2004 / 01.2005 / 02.2005 / 03.2005 / 04.2005 / 05.2005 / 06.2005 / 07.2005 / 08.2005 / 09.2005 / 10.2005 / 11.2005 / 12.2005 / 01.2006 / 02.2006 / 03.2006 / 04.2006 / 05.2006 / 06.2006 / 07.2006 / 08.2006 / 09.2006 / 10.2006 / 11.2006 / 12.2006 / 01.2007 / 02.2007 / 03.2007 / 04.2007 / 05.2007 / 06.2007 / 07.2007 / 08.2007 / 09.2007 / 10.2007 / 11.2007 / 12.2007 / 01.2008 / 02.2008 / 03.2008 / 04.2008 / 05.2008 / 06.2008 / 07.2008 / 08.2008 / 09.2008 / 10.2008 / 11.2008 / 12.2008 / 01.2009 / 02.2009 / 03.2009 / 04.2009 / 05.2009 / 06.2009 / 07.2009 / 08.2009 / 09.2009 / Factuality I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've got five nephews and two nieces. Quotatious "I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it." -Ryan Szrama "I'm trying to be regenerate." -Ivy Warriner "Pink is pink. Peach is not pink." -Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband "How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today." -John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate "I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People like that don't deserve to win it." -Michael Butterworth "I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many marriages I go through." -Katie Mohler "However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to you.'" -Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little incident which we do not name "He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety, but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get married for twelve more years?'" -Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father "So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka." -Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming "Ok, he walks loudly." -Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs" "Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas." -Ryan Szrama "I have a way with old women." -Josh Reid "Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It wasn't sweet, it was creepy." -Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't given "I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain." -Katie Mohler "Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped worrying about updating the score list." -Ryan Szrama, commenting on his alma mater's basketball team "What can go wrong on Appreciate a Dragon Day?" -Lori Wanman "Do you enjoy making people feel retarded? You behave like that is your job in life." -Jessica Cimato "Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?" -Peter Sieg "Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests." -Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months of pastoring at IBC have been "If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned marooned Moon." -Michael Jenkins "Can we call you 'Special Dark'?" -Stephen Mobley "Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip." -Me, on how to order water at Starbucks "It's you to an unsanctified T." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It's like a workout, having a conversation with you." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "I shot the French Press..." -Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff "Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!" -Off White "Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!" -Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend "It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in 4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it yet.'" -Catherine Huffman "It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since you took Geometry." -Peter Sieg, to me "You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we both blame your camera." -Catherine Huffman "You're going to die soon, anyway." -Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday "I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver." -Stephen Mobley "It's likely but unlikely." -Ben Hedrick "There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto." -Jessica Vaughn "The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'" -Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh "Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?" -Ben Hedrick "It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?" -Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know what car she drives?" "High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!" -Josh Reid "Man, she's finer than a frog hair!" -Josh Reid "I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'" -Heather Seagle "Where's my phone?" -Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone "Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I don't get kicked." -Me "Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a close call!" -Dana W "I don't want to see this on your blog." -Ryan Fullerton "John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle, here is his frown." -Ben Hedrick "Oh shutup, voicemail person!" -Stephen Mobley " 'P' as in 'purgatory.' " -Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call "You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry." -Stephen Mobley "Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than say, Katie Mohler." -Johanna Tollefson "You just called me a chunker!" -Christin Simpson "We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.' " -Peter Sieg "My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist." -Christin Simpson "How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' " -Christin Simpson "Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how he peed in worship, it confused me." -Katie Mohler "Yes, I'm precious and all that." -Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment "Do you have a numerical number for that?" -Stephen Mobley "I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that." -Peter Sieg "That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it." -Stephen Mobley "Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other non-contiguous U.S. states." -Stephen Mobley "In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time." -Christin Simpson "They never know whether to come out the front or the back." -Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes "I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'." -Andy Lowe "Could you translate that out of Letototian?" -Lauren Farmer "Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles moments lately." -Me "I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking." -Michael Butterworth "She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't big-boned, she was Hispanic." -Ryan Szrama "More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster." -Allison Poplin "Mmm, Chapstick!" -Allison Poplin "It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a headstand in a ditch." -Christin Simpson "The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is admitting I'm a stupid haole." -Christine Robertson "I said 'teached,' man!" -Christin Simpson "I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom." -Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly "Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!" -Thomas Amos "Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple years older.' " -Anonymous "He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!" -Me "Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear." -Dr. Mohler "I've got fans all over." -Lauren Farmer "I'm having my own personal hot flash right now." -Bobby House "Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is actually with a woman!" -Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog "Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of." -Pablo Butterworth "I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the Servant Towel award by taking me or something?" -Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet "I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all." -Christin Simpson "The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate." -Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream "Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!" -Amanda Ledbetter "I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier to understand." -Dr. Joslin, on women "One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active social life, or she's just fat." -Richard B. Hardison "You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly. Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that turns out." -Jon "Jew" Borofsky "Are you dressing Katie Mohler?" -R. Lauren Duncan "They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?" -Andrew "I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches." -Michael Butterworth "I really like the smell of gasoline." -Katie Mohler "You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out and take the elevator." -Bobby House "But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you." -Nick Crouse "Gomez, you're Hispanic?" -Matt Svoboda "'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?" -Lauren Farmer "You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke." -Moon Pie Godfrey "It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!" -Lauren Farmer "I've had the passion, I just need the purity." -Emily Dick "I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right? Letoto's going to be there!'" -Warren Kesselring "I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put on lots of flannel." -Ricky Hardison "You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?" -Sarah Cress "So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones." -Christin Simpson "I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks." -Emily O'Neal "I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time." -Taryn Walker "You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College." -Michael Butterworth "Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white." -Cole Harper "I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'" -Emily Dick "I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have boyish charm." -Jeff Pearson "If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart, it's a bad idea." -David Borreson "Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!" -Chriyus Davis "When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' " -Chriyus Davis "What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here." -Lauren Farmer "I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?" -Andrew, talking about his father's birthday. "What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?" -Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she went to look up what he meant "Stop flashing everyone!" -Carla "I didn't know I was going to see everything!" -Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth "Which would suck!" -Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in heaven...before his marriage "Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?" -Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes "I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a good tree to climb by Mullins." -Michael Butterworth "You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts." -Scott O'Neal "It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger." -Andrew "And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!" -Emily Dick "Is Scott the white-haired guy?" -Brandon Stern "The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I really hope I don't fart." -Kristy White "Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin." -Katy Cavaliere "I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs." -Andrew "Stretch" Holley "And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that." -Scott O'Neal "I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart." -Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo "I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people, why I wasn't married." -Christine Robertson "Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol' woman with a 'fro." -Chriyus Davis "Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think that's romantic." -Lauren Farmer "We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity." -Lauren Farmer "Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense, you may have hit the skin on the head." -Me, to Matt Teves "Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!" -Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning "Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot." -Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat "Who's the brown one?" -Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus "A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say or do is not a world I want to live in." -Michael Butterworth "Abby marches to the beat of her own flute." -Scott O'Neal "I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee." -Jennifer Miller "What's a 'good game'?" -Katie Mohler "Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I used to give myself french manicures with it." -R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper "It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails." -Trey Fuller "How do you think that small?" -Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting "I like to curl up in the bathroom." -Pablo Butterworth "I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's not a universal song, it's in a different language." -R. Lauren Duncan "We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!" -A.D. "I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place." -Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message "Sounds like a bladder control problem." -Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during dorm meeting "Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?" -Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey Cashell "So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward." -R. Lauren Duncan, about...something "Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!" -Boss "When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a different matter altogether." -Scott O'Neal "That's too much chocolate for you!" -Bobby House III "Dude, there's a lot of white people up here." -Kawika, on being in Indiana "This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp." -Sandi, on the sermons at their church "I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male." -Heidi Marlene Johnson "Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know, that ninja look." -Lisa, to me "You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!" -A certain manager at a certain store "He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count. You're right, he is the only guy we've got." -A certain coworker at a certain store. "She's the manliest girl I know." -Christina Thompson "Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're better looking than most of the guys here." -Nathan Fulllerton "Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed kids together." -Scott O'Neal "How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that Uch is off the market." -Goose "It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!" -Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate "I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'" -Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to take over the airsoft world "You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get Government Service out of John." -Goose "Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months." -Goose "Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!" -Boss "How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes." -Jeff Cavanaugh "Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk." -Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk "I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke." -Joel Gasparotto, to me "No. But several kids." -Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?" "I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..." -Me "I think these are unthawed." -Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken "You mean frozen?" -Matt Crawford, in response to Scott "Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!" -Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain Hawaiian "He's the closest thing to Black I got here!" -Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian was the most ethnically similar person at the camp "Nice body!" -Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball "I could take you...to a movie." -Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students present "It's my bladder!" -Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang "John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I." -Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or imagined) I have upon them "At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'" -Me "Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what I wrote up there." -Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger "Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day." -Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania "Did he sound winded?" -Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night... "Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!" -Boss "I don't do that, that would be too unmanly." -Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails "More of an acquired taste than kim chee." -Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music "That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed with Shirley Temples." -Christin Simpson "Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are odd' girl." -Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her blossoming reputation "Hurry, before the smears come out!" -Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall "All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait" -Andrew Strickland, while leading worship "She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her." -Lisa "I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better bed partner now." -R. Lauren Duncan "I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!" -One of the Brownies from Willow "I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!" -Same Brownie "Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!" -Drunk Brownie from Willow "No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher." -Gary "It's probably providential." -Chip Collins "One more wave." -Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air "Well basically..." -James McCray "I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground." -RAM, Jr. "If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing her away from all the decent guys." -Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away "Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome." -Dr. Mohler "Hey! How are you doing?" -Rob Smythe "I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in the bathroom!" -Boss "So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?" -Aaron Filippone "The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me." -Darren Thomas "Hairy in the face and chest?" -Me, in response to Darren "Oh, cuss word!" -Moon Pie "If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize." -Pablo Butterworth "These *are* my dress socks. They're clean." -Goose "Before the throne of God above..." -Jonathan Leeman...singing "I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane." -Michelle "Piss on a biscuit!" -Fritzy "I saw Toto, and he's black!" -R. Lauren Duncan "You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail." -Pablo Butterworth "I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there." -Jordan Cole "Can she have a man?" -Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie "I am irresistible to men..." -Poenie Tree "Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!" -AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite "Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?" -Tyler Ratliff "She shook his butt before she shook his hand!" -Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce "Would you look at that BUTT?" -Pablo Butterworth "It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards." -Pablo Butterworth "He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us, sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives or anything.)" -Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce "Paul, I think we should mate." -Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of Psychiatrist "You're classic, not metro." -Elizabeth Foster "I need ocean." -Me "Oh, I have some!" -R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me "Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two completely different things." -Dr. Draper "The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!" -Chris...something "I hated you when I first met you." -Scott O'Neal "Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..." -Pablo Butterworth "Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going to die teaching and I want to be there for it." -Pablo Butterworth "I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise." -Pablo Butterworth "I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out." -Michael Butterworth "I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive." -Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth "Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How did you become sexy?' " -Pablo Butterworth "Stop vacuuming my crack!" -Chris Sellers "That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any taller..." -Melissa Hermoso "You smell like my mom!" -Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "It's Allure for *men*, people!" -Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!" -Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair "We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down." -Michael Butterworth "I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials." -Billy Reddick "You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder." -Kristina Pelhank, to me "I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen, and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen floor.' " -Pablo Butterworth "You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into trouble, and yours gets you out of it." -Aaron Coffey, to me "The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing." -Michael Butterworth "Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!" -Sarah El-Masri "I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play XBox all night long, baby!" -Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit "Please stalk me at your earliest convienence." -Sarah Cress "There's a two year-old flirting with me!" -Ashlea Davenport "I used to have a neck, then something happened." -Bobby House "Can I buy three blacks from you?" -Pablo Butterworth "Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep." -Chip Collins "You're the ugly girl!" -Candace Boyd "No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!" -Scott O'Neal and me "I grew up with that but in Spanish." -Liz Mejia "One day the three of us will be married!" -R. Lauren Duncan "We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And, he was BIG!" -Matty Teves "Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's right...............the Holy Spirit." -Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something "That's a good length, that's pettable." -R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head "There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size." -Kristy Miller "Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!" -Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball "Mr. Herringbone understands." -Katie Mohler "Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?" -Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by Katie Mohler "Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type in, 'butt,' and you come up." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "The chocolate chip in the cookie." -Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our family "I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk." -Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8 white guys "I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!" -Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere "So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking and it startled me." -Sarah Cress "Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Jane!" -Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan "I went sniffing once." -Katie Mohler "Can you use that in a definition?" -Sarah Cress "Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's shopping again." -R. Lauren Duncan "They had her fork here and I ate it." -R. Lauren Duncan "What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Every outfit you wear is a statement." -Scott O'Neal "Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?" -Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at Southeast Christian Church "He likes to sit in my drawers." -R. Lauren Duncan "It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate." -James Losey, about me "I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!" -Heidi Marlene Johnson "I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus." -Me "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in that order." -Pablo Butterworth "I eat soap for breakfast." -Sarah Cress "I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway." -Rob Smythe "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." -Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects "Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something." -Janal Prybys "More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing." -Pablo Butterworth "I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock." -Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish "This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high." -Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person "Hold me like you used to." -Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated "This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably retarded." -Jessica Cimato "And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash." -Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood "Oh, I love that movie!" -Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson "They have male stores?" -Katie Mohler "She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal." -R. Lauren Duncan "You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook." -Michael Butterworth "Yes, it's my purse." -James Losey "There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has been inflicted with The Terror!" -Kristina Pelhank "You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk away, but for some strange reason, I can't." -Sarah Cress "John gave me a good wedgie." -Pablo Butterworth "I won't say whoooole falsehoods..." -Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok "I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet." -Michael Butterworth "God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love." -Michael Butterworth "This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you." -Rob Smythe "Next year you'll be in the zoo." -Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey "I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up undergrad chicks, too." -Michael Butterworth "I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those blue nasty ones." -R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman, when speaking of it being blue and nasty "Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?" -R. Lauren Duncan "May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much', because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day." -Jessica Cimato "'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly." -R. Lauren Duncan "I have some ligament in the car." -R. Lauren Duncan "I lost it from all the throwing up I did." -R. Lauren Duncan "He's a Filipino knockoff!" -David Brandt, commenting on me "No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!" -Chris Sellers "You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?" -Sarah El-Masri, to me "You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about girls, you're never going to get married." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's older than you." -Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer "She's not the kind of guy you'd go for." -Me "I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow." -Jessica Cimato, to me "From this angle, I can see everything!" -Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt "Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?" -R. Lauren Duncan, to me "If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer." -Pablo Butterworth "You are not going to put that on Facebook!" -Pablo Butterworth "I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts." -Nick Crouse "They're *macadamia* nuts!" -Ryan Travis "Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They charge you nine dollars an hour!" -Brian Buck "Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?" -Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage Hall "Are you ok? I just wet my pants." -R. Lauren Duncan "I just want to marry a pastor." -Blind Brandon