Smeagol is Free! A hermitudinal view of...stuff...

3.31.2008   Care Group, Care! As sad as this is, the Sipester has left the 'Ville. She was one of us, one of the misfits, one of the weirdos that fit in well with the other wacky folks. We'll miss you, Lisa! That title, by the way, is a Care Bears reference for those of you who've never known what it was to actually turn the dial on a television set. posted by Bolo | 11:08 PM 0 speakage 3.30.2008   Thoughts: IBC Perhaps the only one not scarred today by the mental image of a shirtless Ryan Szrama walking the streets of the Shelby Park neighborhood was...well...Ryan Szrama. Is Andy McClurg's swoop switch an external sign of salvation? So what if Juan has a slight problem remembering that we meet in care groups, not small groups, nor community groups? Just so long as he doesn't start referring to Sunday morning services as Immanuel Gathered, I think we can forgive him. The fact that Nathan will be back to lead us on the 13th of April makes me wish I'd be leaving home a couple of days early. Get it straight, Stephanie Keith: Luke Fullerton is not wearing a man purse! We discovered last summer that we have a punk-rock pastor, but who knew that we also have a rocket star pastor? Speaking of the 13th of April, would it be considered irreverent to intentionally catch a young Miss Fullerton on video once more, especially if Nathan leads the congregation in Lion of Judah? I think that it's appropriate to feel torn between the desire to be at home and the desire to be with my congregation here. posted by Bolo | 10:53 PM 2 speakage   Imaged posted by Bolo | 1:10 AM 0 speakage 3.29.2008   Seeing the Sabbath As of late, I've had a few conversations about what God's Word says concerning the Lord's Day. I've never been known as a Sabbatarian, yet in some ways, one might say that I'm one who does practice Sabbatarianism. The point of this? When considering all of this, I'm driven to seek anew what God says about honoring Him, rather than what I've always thought, or even more, what I'm inclined to want to see in His Word. I may have a preference not to work on the Lord's Day, but do I have a conviction concerning it? And if I do or do not, why? Whatever your views on observing the sabbath may be, I pray you enjoy the Lord's Day in deep, joyful worship of Him. posted by Bolo | 9:20 PM 0 speakage   Yesterday posted by Bolo | 9:43 AM 0 speakage 3.28.2008   Pressed Mmm...Sidamo in the morning mug...quite delicious :) posted by Bolo | 8:27 AM 0 speakage 3.27.2008   Thoughts Ginger is the only Greek nerd I know that would have "making out with my husband" listed in the activities section of her Facebook profile. I still contend that listening to Ben Sollee provides perfect roasting music. No doubt Mr. Ruszkiewicz would agree: the Rover was outstanding. I guess it's kind of bad that I forgot Leonard's birthday, but it's probably worse that I only remembered three days later. Only one week, boys! When Tom describes a Kenya as a "fruit bomb," the only option is to go in for five pounds on the first crack. By the way, my blog has now been up and running for five years. There's definitely several degrees of humor involved in Pablo's need to actually introduce me. The glorious bonus of being able to work out again is that Ned is now incredibly happy. It really is only a week away, isn't it? Ok, if my brother is now 35, is that supposed to make me feel weird? 'Cause it kinda does. posted by Bolo | 11:54 PM 0 speakage   Wedding Bells "In Christ the bride was chosen from eternity. Throughout the entire Old Testament dispensation the wedding was announced. Next, the Son of God assumed our flesh and blood: the betrothal took place. The price – the dowry – was paid on Calvary. And now, after an interval which in the eyes of God is but a little while, the Bridegroom returns and 'It has come, the wedding of the Lamb.' The Church on earth yearns for this moment, so does the Church in heaven." -William Hendriksen, More Than Conquerers posted by Bolo | 5:59 PM 0 speakage 3.26.2008   For Comparison's Sake posted by Bolo | 11:41 PM 1 speakage 3.25.2008   Word Exodus 20:18 - 21 All the people perceived the thunder and the lightning flashes and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they trembled and stood at a distance. Then they said to Moses, "Speak to us yourself and we will listen; but let not God speak to us, or we will die." Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid; for God has come in order to test you, and in order that the fear of Him may remain with you, so that you may not sin." So the people stood at a distance, while Moses approached the thick cloud where God was. Hebrews 12:18 - 24 For you have not come to a mountain that can be touched and to a blazing fire, and to darkness and gloom and whirlwind, and to the blast of a trumpet and the sound of words which sound was such that those who heard begged that no further word be spoken to them. For they could not bear the command, "IF EVEN A BEAST TOUCHES THE MOUNTAIN, IT WILL BE STONED." And so terrible was the sight, that Moses said, "I AM FULL OF FEAR and trembling." But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to myriads of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the Judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood, which speaks better than the blood of Abel. posted by Bolo | 9:10 PM 0 speakage 3.24.2008   Sustenance Acquired For one night, John Letoto was restored to his rightful place in the Boyce College pecking order as the unrivaled and unabashed recipient of Much Food. It is indeed well with my soul... posted by Bolo | 11:47 PM 0 speakage   All Bark, No Bite Note two things. One, I'm not responsible for any of this. Well, not really responsible. I mean, it was late, and it was Jeesh I was recording. Two, Jeesh didn't realize that I was recording. Oops. posted by Bolo | 5:15 PM 0 speakage 3.23.2008   Silly I'm feeling mighty sentimental at the moment, and I think I can attribute such silliness at last partially to Sinatra and David Mead. Partially. posted by Bolo | 11:59 PM 0 speakage   Today So often I approach this day in precisely the manner I don't want to: negligent, irreverent, unfocused, and selfish. I feel the battle of indwelling sins, sins that beset and beat down with guilt, sins that simply don't go away. And that's before I even walk out the door. Sadly enough, that can also sound like every other day in this, my Christian life. Do I realize that God deserves better than this? Absolutely. Do I realize that anything less than perfect obedience lived out in the life of a man is death? I do. Do I realize that there's no way I could ever live in such perfect, sinless obedience, and that this failure renders me, the one who sins, worthy of punishment, never beholding the glory of God in joy and intimacy? I do. And yet, I go this morning not only to worship the LORD with full rights of one who has lived in such perfection, I do so unashamedly. Have I sinned? Yes. Do I still sin? Yes. I, however, have One who has lived perfectly on my behalf, who was punished for my sins, who has borne the wrath of God in my stead, who was forsaken by God as I will never be, who has risen from death and lives now, pleading for me before the throne of God, and who freely did and does so that He might spend eternity with me, one who tends to forget and fails Him still. What a day. posted by Bolo | 8:41 AM 0 speakage 3.22.2008   Fuzzy Math 2 LUFA league games + 1 weight room session = 0 energy. posted by Bolo | 11:51 PM 0 speakage   Post Script You're right, little bro, He does not treat us as our sins deserve. Thanks again; you're a friend, a servant, and above all, His beloved. posted by Bolo | 12:52 PM 0 speakage 3.21.2008   Sensei Dr. J now calls me his Sensei. That's more than a little scary, no doubt, and I'm sure that Mon is rolling her eyes wherever she is, but it is what it is, and I won't complain. Anyhow, I've decided to post a couple of excerpts from the good doctor's lessons. The first comes from yesterday's dialogue. Most electrical poppers will complete a roast in four or five minutes, but there are a few things I do in order to prolong the roasting process. By prolonging the roast, the naturally-occurring sugars in the beans are allowed to develop evenly. You'll often have a certain point (temperature) at which the roast will be considered "finished." But, if this point is reached too quickly, the flavors may not develop. Too long, and the beans become dry and there is a loss of flavor and body. Think of the roasting process as you would roasting a turkey in an oven -- nobody wants a turkey done in half an hour, but one that takes twelve hours is probably dried out. There's also going to be a "sweet spot" that you should look for in roasting a bean, meaning that peak flavor will happen when a bean is roasted to a certain point and in a certain way. For some beans, there will actually seem to be a larger sweet spot, or even several. When I say that there may be several, I mean to say that some beans will have different flavors develop at certain points in the roast. For example, that Guatemala I gave you will become, as the roast progresses, less "bright" and more subtle in its initial impact on the tongue. However, what I've noticed is that other flavors and characteristics begin to come out and make themselves known: raisins, and perhaps a little port wine. This one came later: Now, you're wanting something bolder. Hmmm. At this point, I'm going to point out that "bold" is a relative term. You're well aware of this, of course, but I at least partially say this because I myself have begun to judge coffees based upon their various characteristics, and then drawing a conclusion, rather than the other way around. Think of it as telling someone that a guy weighs 250 lbs. That gives me a weight, but that's just one aspect of his physical composition, and without knowing what his height is, or how strong he is, or what kind of condition his heart is in, it's difficult to assess precisely what to make of this person's physical stature. My point there is that with coffee, you could have lots of boldness, but what type of boldness? Is it a boldness of when and where the strongest characteristics are located, a boldness that hits in the beginning of the sip, or perhaps in the nostrils? Is it a boldness of flavor that catches the outer edges and back of the tongue, or does it rest right on the middle? Is the boldness one of body, where the feel is heavy and really makes you interact with it in the mouth, rather than trying to capture the essence of the cup in the aroma? Or, is it just plain boldness of flavor? If so, then one could speak of spiciness, fruitiness, nuttiness, earthiness, or buttery boldness... Gotta love it... posted by Bolo | 12:39 PM 0 speakage 3.20.2008   What We Can Know This deserves another look. posted by Bolo | 9:29 PM 0 speakage 3.19.2008   Thoughts Hopefully, Makana will save some ocean to share with her Uncle Johnny. I'm officially Dr. J's "dealer"...nice. When you can't lift your hands above your head after working out, it's a good thing...but not if you worked your legs. Great Big Sea, eh? There's nothing quite like reading the tale of Beren and Luthien to Lukey after a Sunday morning service. I find it harder and harder to write with the same candidness I once did; not necessarily less nor more, just not the same. The side of my car would be complete with a sign saying, "Eat Mor Chikin". Must shoot, and soon. I'm glad I'm finally able to work out again, if only because my appetite has come back...and with a vengeance! I've got an aged Sumatra Mandheling in the roaster at the moment; it's from 2004, it's got black pepper and earthy leather hints, and it's the last of that lot in my stash. I feel like Gandalf, as I must taste smoke again. posted by Bolo | 11:09 PM 2 speakage   Versed I take, O cross, thy shadow for my abiding place; I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of His face; Content to let the world go by to know no gain or loss, My sinful self my only shame, my glory all the cross. This is the last verse of Beneath the Cross of Jesus. It brings to mind several passages of scripture I've looked over and meditated upon these last few days, most recently Galatians 6:14 which reads, "But may it never be that I would boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." I've said it before, and it bears repeating still more, that the glory of God is seen in sin, our sin, my sin, being punished on the cross in the person of His Son, Jesus Christ. If this does not make one pause and shudder, I do not know what will. I think this is at least a part of what Paul was pointing out. His letter to the Galatians was not one of exultation; indeed, his entire tone was one of brutal honesty, even harshness. His "boasting" near the end of the letter does not seem to be any different. My own Christian culture has never known a day when speaking of the cross was not cool. Cheesy shirts, wristbands, cartoons, and the like all have a tendency to make the cultural shock of speaking of the cross an entirely foreign concept. Forget the fact that it was Jesus Christ who died on the cross; in that day and age, anyone who died on a cross was someone who died the most brutal, heinous death imaginable, even those who deserved it. Even in today's "civilized" world, we don't cheer about murderers on death row being injected and dying. No, we still recognize that there's a sober sadness to it all, even if justice is being carried out. Thus, it is often hard to realize the full burst of shock Paul intends when he speaks of not only boasting in the cross, but of boasting only in the cross. The same can be said of Elizabeth Clephane's words in Beneath the Cross of Jesus. I find that drawing near to the cross is a most hard and difficult thing. The glorious light of my Savior's face is a light fully far too bright, even in its dimmest glow, for I find that such a glorious beam does search out and reveal all of my darkest sins, those deep corners I try vainly to hide. And yet, is it not the glory of God to do just that, to take my sin and punish it on the cross, and in doing so, gloriously display it for all to see? What my flesh forgets is that the cross is a display of grace, one where God no longer holds back His wrath but pours it forth in righteous glory. posted by Bolo | 1:20 AM 0 speakage 3.18.2008   T-Dubawub T-Dub has a new favorite song...ask her what it is :) posted by Bolo | 7:38 AM 0 speakage 3.17.2008   QotD "It's less like a prairie dog and more like a sea urchin. Wait! I meant a sea cucumber, not a sea urchin." -Me posted by Bolo | 10:12 PM 0 speakage   LUFA This! Wetness. Coldness. Numbness. A perfect day for the beginning of the season, right? Not so much. posted by Bolo | 12:20 AM 2 speakage 3.16.2008   It's Ridiculous Ok, folks, for those of you who spell ridiculous as rediculous, know that there's nothing diculous that happened in the first place, and therefore, you're not rediculousing anything diculous. Got it? posted by Bolo | 10:01 PM 0 speakage   Word Psalm 27:4 One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD and to meditate in His temple. Psalm 27:8 When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You, "Your face, O Lord, I shall seek." John 17:24 "Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world." posted by Bolo | 8:05 PM 0 speakage   Triumvirate One day, boys, one day... posted by Bolo | 4:17 PM 5 speakage 3.15.2008   Thoughts Charlie's awesome, and not only because she's gonna get me some ice cream. I really let it all out on the bench press today, didn't I, Mr. O'Neal? I'd give a lot just to hear the sound of my brother's laugh right about now...even if our lives have a little distance between them. Dee Ar: an absolutely astounding piece, sir, astounding! "She wants your body..." Seems like just yesterday that I was caught in-between ten and twenty. I don't care if she thinks I'm a terrible liar, because quite frankly, I had her eating out of my hand. Week one of the LUFA Spring League is in the books, and from what I remember, it went like this: Weather 1, Humans 0. "She's single." The ides of March, indeed. I still don't understand the love of God, but that's no reason to stop being loved, is it? If anything, it's incentive to keep on being loved. My legs hurt, my eyelids feel heavy, and my soul...well...it is well. If it's word association we're talking about, "Taryn Walker" and "hairy chest" just go together. Her last name was seriously Vittitow? Everything did happen on schedule today...the rain...the cold...but I don't think I spilled a drink on my shirt. "You mean, you and me?" He does, Pablo, he does...I know he does. Yeah, it really is amazing how what appears in front of the lens is often a direct result of what's happening behind the lens. I'm only a man, and I don't even have red sheets. Audra's freakin' crazy. I love my local church, I do...but I wish I loved it more. posted by Bolo | 11:56 PM 3 speakage   Lyrical A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt's subdued somehow I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now? And the question still remains, what am I to be? Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds This task before me may seem unclear But it, my maker holds Bebo Norman's The Hammer Holds still makes me pause. Often, it makes me think. Upon occasion, it makes me cry. These words reveal something I often would rather not see: my own dreams, not just slipping away, but melted down to nothingness. They also remind me of what I've begun to see: my shape, my form, the fabrics and the folds of my life. Mostly, though, they pull a veil up over what I cannot see: my future, that which will happen to me, the very purpose for which my shapes and forms have been given. In the working of steel, the end product is strong, often shiny and smooth. What it looks like in process, however, is an entirely different matter. Heating and cooling, pounding and twisting, a progressive cycle with an ugly piece that often bears little more than a vague resemblance to the beautiful strength that results. That beauty may be given artificially, but the strength cannot. So it is with us. I often cry out at the merciful fury of God's gracious hand, only to be silenced yet again by His cooling of my overzealous passion. All the while, though, I cannot help but wonder, what task is before me? I suppose it's best that the same hand that holds me and forms me is the same one that wields me... ...no matter what that looks like. posted by Bolo | 2:33 AM 0 speakage 3.14.2008   Promptitude It's morning. Again. Why does it always come so soon? posted by Bolo | 8:10 AM 0 speakage 3.13.2008   Randomness posted by Bolo | 1:08 PM 0 speakage 3.12.2008   @IBC Sometime after Sandwiches & Shepherding and before the Wednesday night Prayer Meeting, I snapped these off. posted by Bolo | 11:29 PM 1 speakage   Hint, Hint The following email was received this evening: My Dear John, You are cordially invited to your room for girls' night on the ________ of March at ____ o'clock. We will be watching a movie, and food will be provided. Hoping you will join us, I am, Sincerely yours, Ashlea Davenport Subtlety optional, I see. posted by Bolo | 8:39 PM 2 speakage   @Sunergos Hah...like I don't advertise for those monkeys enough... posted by Bolo | 1:41 AM 0 speakage 3.11.2008   Thoughts I'm glad that Makana is willing to share the ocean with her Uncle Johnny. Seriously, do I have a target painted onto my back? Am I the only one to observe that, prior to this last one-week period, Matt McCullough was the only former and/or current Student Council President of Boyce College who ever had a Facebook account? Being woken up by a having a one-year-old drool on your face has to be one of the cutest and least-offensive ways to be woken up. It's good to know that Laura Jean Griffith has officially forgiven me. I'll never get tired of listening to Chriyus Davis' voice. No, Brooke, I'm not going to look. That bit about having a one-year-old doesn't apply if that one-year-old has fur and a wagging tail. Still hate snow. Lee Sill, just like Cimato's roommate, probably now thinks I'm the devil. Michael Jackson was way cooler 25 years ago. posted by Bolo | 9:25 PM 1 speakage 3.10.2008   Amazing! A little over a few weeks ago, I roasted up a Mexican coffee that was, by all accounts, delicious. There was chocolate, there was blueberry, there was a body that was full and vivacious, and to top it off, a touch of aromatic spice that positively danced across the senses. In short, it made our eyes pop open while we exclaimed, "Wow! That's amazing!" Well, it was some number of Saturdays ago when Kane, Aaron and I cupped it in Sunergos. One Saturday afternoon later, while standing around behind the counter with Kane and Aaron yet again, I found the bag of that Mexican that I'd left there all week. It was an accident, but an undeniably serendipitous one at that. The chocolate was still there, along with the blueberry, the body so full and vivacious, and the aromatic spice, too. But what hadn't been there was a smooth, buttery character that showed maturity, a simplicity amidst complexity, and an ability to be outstanding without even trying. In short, it made our eyes pop open while we exclaimed, "Wow! That's even more amazing!" As I pondered my new infatuation, I realized that it was not unlike other ridiculous attractions. How so? I figured that the Mexican was very much akin to the proverbial Girl Next Door. Say she moves in one day. From the moment you see her, you understand that beauty has come down to earth and taken form in flesh and bone. Hair and makeup done just so, she moves with a grace that sets the heart atwitter. Words come to mind, but they seem far too droopy and worn, not at all worthy of the Beauty Personified you have just sworn undying devotion to. She, of course, is even less aware of your existence than the dirt on the bottom of her shoes, but this is of small consequence, a mere momentary inconvenience. Hush. This is my analogy, and my blog; I'll do with it as I please. May we go on now? As I was saying, she does not know you exist. A week goes by and you do not see her, but most assuredly not for lack of trying. In and out she flits from your thoughts, a pleasant distraction from the reality of Life. When she quite unexpectedly passes by one day, greeting you with a smile, you note what she is lacking: makeup perfectly applied, hair coiffed with the utmost care. In fact, she seems utterly without any attempt at beautification. And yet, you tell yourself with helpless glee, "Wow! She's even more amazing!" Ah! The lengths to which I'll go to proclaim my love... ...for coffee :) posted by Bolo | 10:38 PM 4 speakage 3.09.2008   Summation Strangely enough, this kind of sums up the weekend. The last month, really. posted by Bolo | 11:03 PM 0 speakage 3.08.2008   Hymnology Let me at Thy throne of mercy Find a sweet relief, Kneeling there in deep contrition; Help my unbelief. I can't help but wonder exactly what it was that Fanny Crosby was thinking and feeling when she penned those words. Whatever the case, I don't think I could have put it better myself. posted by Bolo | 11:12 PM 0 speakage   Snow Days, Schmow Days Today's agenda? Volleyball at 11 this morning. The start of the Louisville Ultimate Frisbee Association's Spring League at 2 this afternoon. The Punch Brothers concert at 8 tonight. All not happening 'cause of a foot or so of snow. Yes, I still despise snow. posted by Bolo | 3:02 PM 0 speakage   Hit and Run Ooops! posted by Bolo | 2:52 AM 1 speakage 3.07.2008   Aspect of Aloneness A few of you responded very positively to that post I wrote a couple nights ago. There's a scary aspect to writing something like that, an aspect that I wasn't necessarily prepared to deal with. Before I go into all of that, let me first say something that I've said before: what I do here, I do primarily for me. I don't mean that in a selfish way; it's just that I don't keep this blog as a means to please people so much as a place to store bits and pieces of my life. It just so happens that any and all are free to share in these bits and pieces, come what may. The irony in storing memories from a life lived here on earth is that in order to truly appreciate the beautiful, you've got to take long, hard looks at the ugly. When I say that, what I'm really pointing out is my own tendency to forget what I need to remember: that I'm a weak, imperfect, and hopelessly flawed individual who has a Savior whose power was perfected in weakness, whose perfection is now mine, and whose hope overcomes all of my flaws. But like I said, I tend to forget that. I store here on my blog all sorts of things -- thoughts, feelings, and images, some my own, many of others I run across -- all with the hope that I would not forget what I need to remember. If I become repetitive, it's because I repeatedly forget. When I've become lost and forgotten my way, I've sometimes returned here to find the crumbs that lead me back to where I went astray. What's the point of all this introspection, you ask? Wasn't there a point? Ah yes, my point: I'm not alone. Believe me, that's hard for a guy like me to swallow. I like being alone, I really do. It makes it easier to hide my faults, to highlight the notion that I'm not needy, or to work on being perfect rather than needing forgiveness. But that's exactly what Jesus works to undo, isn't it? He takes a bunch of sinners and knits their hearts together in such a way that they find themselves sharing not only in the inherent ugliness of the sinful soul, but the infinite glory of the merciful Savior. posted by Bolo | 11:59 PM 0 speakage   Formulaic Redux Morning + Snow + John = :( Breakfast + Coffee + John = :) posted by Bolo | 10:13 AM 0 speakage   Formulaic Morning + Snow + John = :( posted by Bolo | 7:37 AM 0 speakage 3.06.2008   Linkage Perhaps I'm a bit late on this one, but Brett Favre's retirement isn't something that will go overlooked on this blog. I mean, he was Brett Freakin' Favre! I didn't like him in the mid-90's when he was beating up on the 'Niners, but I couldn't help but love him by the turn of the century. Now, I'm going to miss him, just like these guys tell it, here, here, and here. Quick, call Al Gore! This is useful, right? Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts co-starred in The Mexican. I remember seeing it in the theaters with the old FCF crew back in the day. There's no movie about this Mexican, but believe me, it's becoming quite memorable. posted by Bolo | 7:41 PM 0 speakage   Restless Resting It's past 3 in the morning, and I'm up. It's not that I'm still up, mind you, as I conked out at somewhere between 8 and 9, but that I woke up about an hour ago to roast up some coffee. Shush. Sitting here and typing, it's quiet outside. It's sort of odd, you know. I can hear the humming of the little machine as it flings those beans around with hot air, churning them in a maelstrom of delicious chemistry. Other than that whirring noise, the world seems quiet; outside, it undoubtedly is. Were I to walk out of the doors of Fuller Hall, I'm sure I'd be hard-pressed to find another soul out and about. Yes, outside those doors, all is quiet. But inside? Well, inside can be quite loud and full of screaming turmoil. I'm sure that of the residents of Fuller Hall, I'm not the only one awake at this hour. I'm also sure that I'm not the only one who is thinking what I'm thinking -- that this Christian life is way too hard, and that what I'm feeling inside my sin-ridden soul weighs me down far, far too easily. As the hymn Jesus, I Am Resting plays on iTunes, I can't help but feel how little I rest in Jesus. I told Kane this past Sunday that of all the desires I have in life, of all the different paths I could possibly pursue, of all the ambitions and dreams that urge me on and weigh me down, the one I want most is the one I simply can't have: obedience. I sometimes think I'd rather be perfect than be forgiven. Stupid, isn't it? It's true. I'm far too proud and full of myself to be able to say otherwise. Still, my failure gets flung in my face often enough that I've come to know a desire for obedience not for the sake of my pride, but for the sake of knowing Him. I think that the Christian life is full of slow, painful learning like this, the kind of learning that drives someone to realize that the only satisfaction really is found in knowing and being known by God. Ryan reminded me recently that Jesus said that His food was to do the will of the One who sent Him. Oh, to feast at that table! What a lavish spread! Still, do I not often find myself there, an honored guest, yet sulking away to eat with the dogs? I do...I do. The point of Jesus, I Am Resting is not to drive the believer into even deeper frowns over their lack of obedience; at least, not ultimately. Rather, it is to lift up the one who shies away from mercy, from the One who has obeyed perfectly for the sake of those who obey in imperfect misery. I'll be honest -- my soul squirms with the thought that Jesus should have suffered obediently for my sake. Why? I don't like admitting that I need Him. At least, I don't like admitting that in a way that makes my need of Him utterly, miserably, gloriously obvious. But...isn't that the point? posted by Bolo | 3:25 AM 2 speakage 3.05.2008   Cup of the Morning In the mug is an Idido Misty Valley, from the Yirga Cheffe district in Ethiopia. Delicious, just delicious. A little chocolate, some blueberry hints, and an almost buttery mouthfeel. Mmm. posted by Bolo | 9:36 AM 0 speakage 3.04.2008   Repeat Cycle A lot of life seems to become repetitive. Not in a bad way, mind you, but if I'm not attentive, time zooms by before I even blink. Perhaps a better descriptor would be cyclical; yes, that does fit better, I think. Anyhow, with that in mind, I figured I would toss up still more shots that have come from some of the months gone by. It's my way of acknowledging my laziness and lack of inspiration behind a lens these recent weeks ;) posted by Bolo | 10:59 PM 0 speakage 3.03.2008   Flying Pigs 'Drew and I actually spoke on the phone tonight. For like, a long time. Seriously. No, I'm not joking. And he was the one who called! posted by Bolo | 11:44 PM 0 speakage   Happy Girls Day! Email I just got from Be: Hey LBJ... Happy Girl's Day - I'm sending this to all the Girls I know. (I'm sure you get the inference, but just in case you don't: I'm calling you a Girl) =) Michelle Aaahhh, gotta love my friends... posted by Bolo | 3:38 PM 0 speakage   Life According to Lukey posted by Bolo | 1:16 PM 0 speakage 3.02.2008   Kids @IBC posted by Bolo | 10:17 PM 0 speakage   Painium We played football today on the J-Bowl. I felt pain while playing. I am feeling pain now. I think I shall still feel pain tomorrow. posted by Bolo | 5:50 PM 0 speakage 3.01.2008   Fly Away Ok, so I'm cheating a little bit. These are from last Spring, and I'm certain I've posted at least one of them before, if not all. I'm sure I'm allowed a little redundancy on my little spot on the web, right? posted by Bolo | 9:17 PM 0 speakage Dell Coupons		Daily Coffee Sweet Maria's James Hoffmann Theologous Desiring God Ministries Monergism Discerning Reader Albert Mohler, Jr. Russell Moore 9 Marks Play Jock Think Laugh Foxtrot User Friendly Learn National Geographic Geek out. Again.   Read Paint Prayer Pleasures Commune Galactic Wabbit Great Listen Jack Finished Discover Tones of Fleck Step In the Arms Smashing Thinking Visualize Facebook Albums (Updated 3/21/2007) Blogging Buddies Homeage Gary Uch Boss Kev Goose Mark Rich Sanchez Mon & Dave Leo Barb Brit The 'Villeage O'Neals Jim Hilliard Pablo Butterworth the Younger Nikki Lefty Ashlea Parris Cavies Calvinaugh Weenie & Elizabeth Owen T4G Tim Bob Josh Christman Szrama Ryherd Brandt Hutch FYI FYI TV CMac Maiden Dana Dubya Old School Memories Faith... Wonder... Empty Snaps Manna The Misses Character Me Me Bug Me smeagolisfree@gmail.com AIM: MrToto2U Facebook Yore 03.2003 / 04.2003 / 05.2003 / 06.2003 / 07.2003 / 08.2003 / 09.2003 / 10.2003 / 11.2003 / 12.2003 / 01.2004 / 02.2004 / 03.2004 / 04.2004 / 05.2004 / 06.2004 / 07.2004 / 08.2004 / 09.2004 / 10.2004 / 11.2004 / 12.2004 / 01.2005 / 02.2005 / 03.2005 / 04.2005 / 05.2005 / 06.2005 / 07.2005 / 08.2005 / 09.2005 / 10.2005 / 11.2005 / 12.2005 / 01.2006 / 02.2006 / 03.2006 / 04.2006 / 05.2006 / 06.2006 / 07.2006 / 08.2006 / 09.2006 / 10.2006 / 11.2006 / 12.2006 / 01.2007 / 02.2007 / 03.2007 / 04.2007 / 05.2007 / 06.2007 / 07.2007 / 08.2007 / 09.2007 / 10.2007 / 11.2007 / 12.2007 / 01.2008 / 02.2008 / 03.2008 / 04.2008 / 05.2008 / 06.2008 / 07.2008 / 08.2008 / 09.2008 / 10.2008 / 11.2008 / 12.2008 / 01.2009 / 02.2009 / 03.2009 / 04.2009 / 05.2009 / 06.2009 / 07.2009 / 08.2009 / 09.2009 / Factuality I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've got five nephews and two nieces. Quotatious "I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it." -Ryan Szrama "I'm trying to be regenerate." -Ivy Warriner "Pink is pink. Peach is not pink." -Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband "How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today." -John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate "I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People like that don't deserve to win it." -Michael Butterworth "I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many marriages I go through." -Katie Mohler "However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to you.'" -Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little incident which we do not name "He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety, but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get married for twelve more years?'" -Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father "So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka." -Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming "Ok, he walks loudly." -Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs" "Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas." -Ryan Szrama "I have a way with old women." -Josh Reid "Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It wasn't sweet, it was creepy." -Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't given "I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain." -Katie Mohler "Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped worrying about updating the score list." -Ryan Szrama, commenting on his alma mater's basketball team "What can go wrong on Appreciate a Dragon Day?" -Lori Wanman "Do you enjoy making people feel retarded? You behave like that is your job in life." -Jessica Cimato "Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?" -Peter Sieg "Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests." -Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months of pastoring at IBC have been "If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned marooned Moon." -Michael Jenkins "Can we call you 'Special Dark'?" -Stephen Mobley "Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip." -Me, on how to order water at Starbucks "It's you to an unsanctified T." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It's like a workout, having a conversation with you." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "I shot the French Press..." -Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff "Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!" -Off White "Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!" -Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend "It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in 4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it yet.'" -Catherine Huffman "It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since you took Geometry." -Peter Sieg, to me "You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we both blame your camera." -Catherine Huffman "You're going to die soon, anyway." -Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday "I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver." -Stephen Mobley "It's likely but unlikely." -Ben Hedrick "There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto." -Jessica Vaughn "The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'" -Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh "Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?" -Ben Hedrick "It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?" -Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know what car she drives?" "High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!" -Josh Reid "Man, she's finer than a frog hair!" -Josh Reid "I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'" -Heather Seagle "Where's my phone?" -Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone "Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I don't get kicked." -Me "Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a close call!" -Dana W "I don't want to see this on your blog." -Ryan Fullerton "John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle, here is his frown." -Ben Hedrick "Oh shutup, voicemail person!" -Stephen Mobley " 'P' as in 'purgatory.' " -Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call "You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry." -Stephen Mobley "Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than say, Katie Mohler." -Johanna Tollefson "You just called me a chunker!" -Christin Simpson "We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.' " -Peter Sieg "My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist." -Christin Simpson "How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' " -Christin Simpson "Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how he peed in worship, it confused me." -Katie Mohler "Yes, I'm precious and all that." -Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment "Do you have a numerical number for that?" -Stephen Mobley "I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that." -Peter Sieg "That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it." -Stephen Mobley "Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other non-contiguous U.S. states." -Stephen Mobley "In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time." -Christin Simpson "They never know whether to come out the front or the back." -Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes "I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'." -Andy Lowe "Could you translate that out of Letototian?" -Lauren Farmer "Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles moments lately." -Me "I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking." -Michael Butterworth "She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't big-boned, she was Hispanic." -Ryan Szrama "More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster." -Allison Poplin "Mmm, Chapstick!" -Allison Poplin "It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a headstand in a ditch." -Christin Simpson "The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is admitting I'm a stupid haole." -Christine Robertson "I said 'teached,' man!" -Christin Simpson "I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom." -Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly "Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!" -Thomas Amos "Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple years older.' " -Anonymous "He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!" -Me "Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear." -Dr. Mohler "I've got fans all over." -Lauren Farmer "I'm having my own personal hot flash right now." -Bobby House "Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is actually with a woman!" -Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog "Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of." -Pablo Butterworth "I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the Servant Towel award by taking me or something?" -Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet "I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all." -Christin Simpson "The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate." -Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream "Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!" -Amanda Ledbetter "I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier to understand." -Dr. Joslin, on women "One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active social life, or she's just fat." -Richard B. Hardison "You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly. Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that turns out." -Jon "Jew" Borofsky "Are you dressing Katie Mohler?" -R. Lauren Duncan "They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?" -Andrew "I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches." -Michael Butterworth "I really like the smell of gasoline." -Katie Mohler "You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out and take the elevator." -Bobby House "But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you." -Nick Crouse "Gomez, you're Hispanic?" -Matt Svoboda "'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?" -Lauren Farmer "You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke." -Moon Pie Godfrey "It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!" -Lauren Farmer "I've had the passion, I just need the purity." -Emily Dick "I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right? Letoto's going to be there!'" -Warren Kesselring "I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put on lots of flannel." -Ricky Hardison "You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?" -Sarah Cress "So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones." -Christin Simpson "I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks." -Emily O'Neal "I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time." -Taryn Walker "You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College." -Michael Butterworth "Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white." -Cole Harper "I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'" -Emily Dick "I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have boyish charm." -Jeff Pearson "If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart, it's a bad idea." -David Borreson "Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!" -Chriyus Davis "When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' " -Chriyus Davis "What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here." -Lauren Farmer "I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?" -Andrew, talking about his father's birthday. "What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?" -Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she went to look up what he meant "Stop flashing everyone!" -Carla "I didn't know I was going to see everything!" -Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth "Which would suck!" -Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in heaven...before his marriage "Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?" -Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes "I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a good tree to climb by Mullins." -Michael Butterworth "You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts." -Scott O'Neal "It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger." -Andrew "And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!" -Emily Dick "Is Scott the white-haired guy?" -Brandon Stern "The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I really hope I don't fart." -Kristy White "Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin." -Katy Cavaliere "I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs." -Andrew "Stretch" Holley "And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that." -Scott O'Neal "I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart." -Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo "I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people, why I wasn't married." -Christine Robertson "Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol' woman with a 'fro." -Chriyus Davis "Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think that's romantic." -Lauren Farmer "We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity." -Lauren Farmer "Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense, you may have hit the skin on the head." -Me, to Matt Teves "Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!" -Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning "Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot." -Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat "Who's the brown one?" -Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus "A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say or do is not a world I want to live in." -Michael Butterworth "Abby marches to the beat of her own flute." -Scott O'Neal "I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee." -Jennifer Miller "What's a 'good game'?" -Katie Mohler "Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I used to give myself french manicures with it." -R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper "It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails." -Trey Fuller "How do you think that small?" -Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting "I like to curl up in the bathroom." -Pablo Butterworth "I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's not a universal song, it's in a different language." -R. Lauren Duncan "We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!" -A.D. "I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place." -Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message "Sounds like a bladder control problem." -Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during dorm meeting "Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?" -Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey Cashell "So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward." -R. Lauren Duncan, about...something "Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!" -Boss "When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a different matter altogether." -Scott O'Neal "That's too much chocolate for you!" -Bobby House III "Dude, there's a lot of white people up here." -Kawika, on being in Indiana "This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp." -Sandi, on the sermons at their church "I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male." -Heidi Marlene Johnson "Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know, that ninja look." -Lisa, to me "You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!" -A certain manager at a certain store "He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count. You're right, he is the only guy we've got." -A certain coworker at a certain store. "She's the manliest girl I know." -Christina Thompson "Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're better looking than most of the guys here." -Nathan Fulllerton "Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed kids together." -Scott O'Neal "How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that Uch is off the market." -Goose "It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!" -Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate "I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'" -Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to take over the airsoft world "You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get Government Service out of John." -Goose "Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months." -Goose "Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!" -Boss "How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes." -Jeff Cavanaugh "Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk." -Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk "I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke." -Joel Gasparotto, to me "No. But several kids." -Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?" "I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..." -Me "I think these are unthawed." -Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken "You mean frozen?" -Matt Crawford, in response to Scott "Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!" -Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain Hawaiian "He's the closest thing to Black I got here!" -Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian was the most ethnically similar person at the camp "Nice body!" -Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball "I could take you...to a movie." -Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students present "It's my bladder!" -Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang "John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I." -Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or imagined) I have upon them "At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'" -Me "Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what I wrote up there." -Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger "Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day." -Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania "Did he sound winded?" -Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night... "Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!" -Boss "I don't do that, that would be too unmanly." -Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails "More of an acquired taste than kim chee." -Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music "That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed with Shirley Temples." -Christin Simpson "Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are odd' girl." -Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her blossoming reputation "Hurry, before the smears come out!" -Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall "All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait" -Andrew Strickland, while leading worship "She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her." -Lisa "I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better bed partner now." -R. Lauren Duncan "I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!" -One of the Brownies from Willow "I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!" -Same Brownie "Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!" -Drunk Brownie from Willow "No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher." -Gary "It's probably providential." -Chip Collins "One more wave." -Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air "Well basically..." -James McCray "I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground." -RAM, Jr. "If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing her away from all the decent guys." -Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away "Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome." -Dr. Mohler "Hey! How are you doing?" -Rob Smythe "I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in the bathroom!" -Boss "So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?" -Aaron Filippone "The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me." -Darren Thomas "Hairy in the face and chest?" -Me, in response to Darren "Oh, cuss word!" -Moon Pie "If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize." -Pablo Butterworth "These *are* my dress socks. They're clean." -Goose "Before the throne of God above..." -Jonathan Leeman...singing "I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane." -Michelle "Piss on a biscuit!" -Fritzy "I saw Toto, and he's black!" -R. Lauren Duncan "You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail." -Pablo Butterworth "I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there." -Jordan Cole "Can she have a man?" -Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie "I am irresistible to men..." -Poenie Tree "Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!" -AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite "Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?" -Tyler Ratliff "She shook his butt before she shook his hand!" -Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce "Would you look at that BUTT?" -Pablo Butterworth "It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards." -Pablo Butterworth "He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us, sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives or anything.)" -Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce "Paul, I think we should mate." -Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of Psychiatrist "You're classic, not metro." -Elizabeth Foster "I need ocean." -Me "Oh, I have some!" -R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me "Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two completely different things." -Dr. Draper "The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!" -Chris...something "I hated you when I first met you." -Scott O'Neal "Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..." -Pablo Butterworth "Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going to die teaching and I want to be there for it." -Pablo Butterworth "I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise." -Pablo Butterworth "I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out." -Michael Butterworth "I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive." -Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth "Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How did you become sexy?' " -Pablo Butterworth "Stop vacuuming my crack!" -Chris Sellers "That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any taller..." -Melissa Hermoso "You smell like my mom!" -Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "It's Allure for *men*, people!" -Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!" -Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair "We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down." -Michael Butterworth "I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials." -Billy Reddick "You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder." -Kristina Pelhank, to me "I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen, and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen floor.' " -Pablo Butterworth "You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into trouble, and yours gets you out of it." -Aaron Coffey, to me "The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing." -Michael Butterworth "Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!" -Sarah El-Masri "I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play XBox all night long, baby!" -Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit "Please stalk me at your earliest convienence." -Sarah Cress "There's a two year-old flirting with me!" -Ashlea Davenport "I used to have a neck, then something happened." -Bobby House "Can I buy three blacks from you?" -Pablo Butterworth "Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep." -Chip Collins "You're the ugly girl!" -Candace Boyd "No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!" -Scott O'Neal and me "I grew up with that but in Spanish." -Liz Mejia "One day the three of us will be married!" -R. Lauren Duncan "We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And, he was BIG!" -Matty Teves "Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's right...............the Holy Spirit." -Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something "That's a good length, that's pettable." -R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head "There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size." -Kristy Miller "Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!" -Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball "Mr. Herringbone understands." -Katie Mohler "Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?" -Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by Katie Mohler "Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type in, 'butt,' and you come up." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "The chocolate chip in the cookie." -Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our family "I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk." -Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8 white guys "I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!" -Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere "So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking and it startled me." -Sarah Cress "Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Jane!" -Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan "I went sniffing once." -Katie Mohler "Can you use that in a definition?" -Sarah Cress "Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's shopping again." -R. Lauren Duncan "They had her fork here and I ate it." -R. Lauren Duncan "What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Every outfit you wear is a statement." -Scott O'Neal "Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?" -Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at Southeast Christian Church "He likes to sit in my drawers." -R. Lauren Duncan "It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate." -James Losey, about me "I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!" -Heidi Marlene Johnson "I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus." -Me "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in that order." -Pablo Butterworth "I eat soap for breakfast." -Sarah Cress "I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway." -Rob Smythe "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." -Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects "Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something." -Janal Prybys "More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing." -Pablo Butterworth "I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock." -Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish "This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high." -Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person "Hold me like you used to." -Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated "This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably retarded." -Jessica Cimato "And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash." -Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood "Oh, I love that movie!" -Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson "They have male stores?" -Katie Mohler "She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal." -R. Lauren Duncan "You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook." -Michael Butterworth "Yes, it's my purse." -James Losey "There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has been inflicted with The Terror!" -Kristina Pelhank "You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk away, but for some strange reason, I can't." -Sarah Cress "John gave me a good wedgie." -Pablo Butterworth "I won't say whoooole falsehoods..." -Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok "I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet." -Michael Butterworth "God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love." -Michael Butterworth "This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you." -Rob Smythe "Next year you'll be in the zoo." -Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey "I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up undergrad chicks, too." -Michael Butterworth "I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those blue nasty ones." -R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman, when speaking of it being blue and nasty "Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?" -R. Lauren Duncan "May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much', because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day." -Jessica Cimato "'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly." -R. Lauren Duncan "I have some ligament in the car." -R. Lauren Duncan "I lost it from all the throwing up I did." -R. Lauren Duncan "He's a Filipino knockoff!" -David Brandt, commenting on me "No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!" -Chris Sellers "You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?" -Sarah El-Masri, to me "You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about girls, you're never going to get married." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's older than you." -Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer "She's not the kind of guy you'd go for." -Me "I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow." -Jessica Cimato, to me "From this angle, I can see everything!" -Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt "Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?" -R. Lauren Duncan, to me "If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer." -Pablo Butterworth "You are not going to put that on Facebook!" -Pablo Butterworth "I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts." -Nick Crouse "They're *macadamia* nuts!" -Ryan Travis "Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They charge you nine dollars an hour!" -Brian Buck "Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?" -Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage Hall "Are you ok? I just wet my pants." -R. Lauren Duncan "I just want to marry a pastor." -Blind Brandon