Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Quotes: SWFWDA

In case you don't quite get her drift, the Single White Female Who Desires Anonymity is still...single. Feel free to apply in the Speakage section, guys ;)

"Are you trying to find dates I'll have a chance with, or just the ones that would produce great disaster stories? Because I'm pretty sure one category is a whole lot bigger."

"Who thinks that a person's computer only has to be charged every three days?!? I'm technological Teflon and even I know better."

"I should probably be less picky at this point, but I don't want to hang my future husband's prison GED certificate next to my MA."

"I had to try to get some of the Country Music Award show out of her hair."

"Only you would think a dog needed a pre-op bachelor party."

"I was at a baby shower Saturday...the guest of honor is my little sister's age...she is barely 25... married a couple of years, very pregnant...out of the other ten guests, all but two were married...five were pregnant...two were having their second babies...only one person in the whole room was older than me...I am so over the hill."

posted by Bolo | 9:49 PM
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Thoughts: Godward

If I'm reading the bible correctly, I have to believe that God is a righteous God of wrath who loves me because...He loves me. Even though I deserve wrath, He made His own Son, Jesus, experience that wrath on my behalf, and now sees me with the righteousness of His Son, loving me with the love He has for His Son, and cannot even think of His Son without thinking of me, nor think of me without thinking of His Son.

And you know what? I have a really, really, really hard time believing that in practical, every day life. Still, life is not life unless I do believe that.

posted by Bolo | 1:56 PM
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38 - 3

At least that three wasn't a zero, right? Nope. It may as well have been. We were pathetic. *Sigh*. I did my part and watched the game with Ben and Chelsea, USC fans both, just as I promised. In public, no less, and sporting the interlocking ND logo on my chest. That was painful, painful, painful. Let's just get this season over with.

posted by Bolo | 11:06 PM
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Koen: B & W

posted by Bolo | 1:50 PM
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What I Do

It's past 2:30 in the morning. What am I doing up? What else, silly people?

Roasting up some Guatemala Oriente DP...first batch is in the one-way valve bag...second is about to go into the roaster...deliciousness!

posted by Bolo | 2:39 AM
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V-Neckin': Catch Up to That!

On the drive back up from Tennessee today, Rev and I noticed two young ladies clearly checking out young V-Neck. We both saw a wonderful opportunity for a little in-car entertainment, and let V-Neck know that he had to acquiesce. The following videos show what happens when peer pressure, post-Thanksgiving giddiness, and a road trip get a hold of one's ability to think clearly.

I mean, seriously, they were all about you, Philip!

posted by Bolo | 2:40 PM
10 speakage


What Uncle Johnny Drinks: 8

No, I didn't have to convince him that he likes coffee...he just does!

posted by Bolo | 12:57 PM
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Because I'm a Sanctified Barney

The following is the first line in the description for the Facebook invite for Kristy's bridal shower:

"Kristy and Zach are registered at Target, Macy's, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond. All IBC ladies (and John Letoto) are invited to attend!"

posted by Bolo | 8:08 AM
2 speakage


Psalm 28
To You, O LORD, I call; my rock, do not be deaf to me, for if You are silent to me, I will become like those who go down to the pit. Hear the voice of my supplications when I cry to You for help, when I lift up my hands toward your holy sanctuary. Do not drag me away with the wicked and with those who work iniquity, who speak peace with their neighbors, while evil is in their hearts. Requite them according to their work and according to the evil of their practices; requite them according to the deeds of their hands; repay them their recompense. Because they do not regard the works of the LORD nor the deeds of His hands, He will tear the down and not build them up. Blessed be the LORD, because He has heard the voice of my supplication. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him. The LORD is their strength, and He is a saving defense His anointed. Save Your people and bless Your inheritance; be their shepherd also, and carry them forever.

There is one reason that David could pray this prayer with confidence. As I pondered this psalm last a week ago, I was struck by the source of this confidence, saddened and humbled and silenced by the thought that I, too, share this confidence with David. I thought about how David could go before the LORD, seeking Him and finding Him, never being turned away nor forsaken, and how I, too, am never turned away nor forsaken.

Let's be clear of one thing before going further: David's life is not one that displays a man getting what he deserved. The guilt of murder and adultery alone would have been enough to condemn him in ways that were clear and fatal in God's law, yet David's guilt is not ultimately fatal. David is a man that got away with murder...literally.

On his radio show yesterday, Dr. Mohler made mention of the pardons that President Bush recently issued. Dr. Mohler pointed out that such a pardon, issued by the President of the United States of America on behalf of the people of the United States of America, does not actually say that the guilty party is acquitted of the charge(s) against them. Rather, the pardon is clear that the guilty party is still considered to have committed the crime(s) they were found guilty of, but are not to bear the punishment for their guilt.

I read this psalm of David with silent awe. While I still want to question and wrestle with how David, a man that was clearly aware of his sinful nature, can point toward the guilt of the wicked around him and ask for justice to be done, my thoughts have slowly yet inexorably shifted toward a higher one: why is it that sinners like David, like John Letoto, are not turned away nor forsaken, yet the precious Lamb of God, Jesus, was? You see, when David asks for God to requite sinners for the works of their hands, I can't help but see how God requited upon His Son the punishment for the work of my hands. There was a cry that the Son gave upon the cross, asking His Father why He was forsaking Him; that cry went unanswered and unheeded, unlike my cries and my pleas for help, which are always answered and always heeded, even though I think otherwise. And when David asks God to be our shepherd and carry us forever, I cannot help but think of how the slain Lamb was forsaken and left to die the death I was to die.

The pardon for sin the LORD has issued does not mean that we never sinned; no, we have indeed sinned, but we are now loved and cherished as those whose righteousness is Christ's righteousness, freely given and freely cherished.

posted by Bolo | 1:50 AM
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On the Road Again

Rev, Philip and I are headed's gonna be Legendary!

posted by Bolo | 4:45 PM
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Kenny's got skills!

posted by Bolo | 3:45 PM
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Guatemala Oriente DP: The Dark Side

Coffee aficionados will refer to pulling and drinking shots of espresso as The Dark Side when that becomes their preferred method of coffee preparation. Here, we have Kenny working some force magic over those wonderful beans from Guatemala. Philip enjoys the fruits of his labor :)

posted by Bolo | 11:26 AM
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Giving Thanks

Twenty-seven pounds of green coffee from Sweet Maria's just arrived!

posted by Bolo | 10:51 AM
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Yep, she seriously did make us stop texting you. Two Gene Cafes and one HotTop...that house will be going insane! I miss those K-kids. More of that Guatemalan would be good for my tongue...and my soul. Cuban food...I suddenly think I was craving Cuban food. I saw that smirk. V-Neck looked like he was going to pass out during that massage. Amanda said I'm the most descriptive person she knows; high praise coming from one so observant. Yes yes yes, we both know you know me, Ash...thanks for the reminder! Remember, Kiddo, glass is better than steel. 'Drew...we're due for a good, long chat...preferably over food...perhaps in a month? I'd love to be screaming through a barrel at The Point sometime soon. 4:30 tomorrow afternoon, gentlemen. Be a hugger, Jeesh, be a hugger! Glenjamin was one happy man this morning. Mel Tormé is freakin' awesome. I like that Carpenter guy...70's, baby! Or is that babies?

posted by Bolo | 11:52 PM
2 speakage

Every Time!

Moon, this should be very un-boring.

posted by Bolo | 12:46 PM
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Mexico Organic Nayarit Dry-Process

Whoa! Did someone pour chocolate into the beans?

posted by Bolo | 9:11 AM
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posted by Bolo | 7:54 AM
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Coffee Crazed

A few months ago, I wrote a post bearing the same title as this one. My aim there was to display my love for coffee, making clear that I'm not merely obsessed. Well, I think it turned out to be quite helpful, and as such, figured I'd follow that one up with another series of thoughts along the same lines. Without further ado, here goes.

Serious coffee junkies who employ a French Press as one of their primary coffee-brewing methods will be able to tell you, without much thinking, that such a brewing method generally requires a very course grind. Well, I'll be quite honest: I love using a fairly fine grind in a press. The reason? I think it generally results in a silkier, fuller-flavored cup, one that I really go for. Mind you, not everyone enjoys this, especially if those individuals are already averse toward brewing in a press, but for those who wouldn't mind a cup with a denser, more rounded mouthfeel, they may be pleased with a finer grind. It does help to have an extra nylon filter when doing this, and as always, it's important to have an even grind! Also, use a shorter brewing period; over-extraction is a nasty thing!

I love seeing a barista get excited about their work. They produce a product that is designed to be savored and mused upon, not guzzled down like a Mountain Dew or Gatorade. Unfortunately, most baristas never get to work with a product -- high-quality, freshly-roasted coffees -- that can truly showcase their abilities. Even more unfortunate is the fact that the vast majority of their customers never realize this.

Speaking of the barista, pulling shots of espresso truly is an art. Sure, there's a science to it, but once those objective rules -- appropriate grind, even dosing and distribution, proper tamping pressure -- are acknowledged and obeyed, there's still so much room left for feel. Said differently, one can be technically correct, yet the nose, mouth, and eyes can still unanimously declare the shot all wrong...and be utterly right in doing so.

Pay attention to the beans you're buying. They should be fresh, so by all means, ask when they were roasted. If they're older than a week, know that you may be buying a batch of beans that has already entered its peak flavor period and may, in fact, be past it. Don't be fooled into thinking a name has anything to do with how good a bag of coffee is; some of the best batches of coffee I've ever had have had names as innocuous as "Auction Lot #643". In other words, good coffee doesn't need some made-up mumbo-jumbo to make it just is good. And, just like the name, don't think that shiny, oily beans is a sign of a good roast. In fact, shiny, oily beans may be a sign of an old roast, one well past its prime. Light roasts will show virtually no signs of oil on the surface of the bean when fresh out of the roaster, but may produce light oil spots over the course of the next week or so after roasting. Dark roasts, on the other hand, may have oil spots immediately. The point to this comparison? My original one: ask when the beans were roasted. You wouldn't expect to pay the full price for a cut of steak that's been sitting out for weeks, would you? Nor should your coffee roaster expect you to do the same for beans that aren't fresh.

posted by Bolo | 9:30 PM
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posted by Bolo | 12:33 PM
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Shoreline at Sunset

My home is awesome. I miss it.

posted by Bolo | 7:14 AM
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"Heaven will be heaven because God will be there, and hell will be hell because God will be there."

-Alton Uyema

posted by Bolo | 11:41 PM
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Roasting @Sunergos: Ethiopia Kochere WP

When I flew in last Tuesday, I decided to go take a visit to my buddy Kane since I knew he would be roasting at Sunergos that morning and afternoon. Little did I know they had sitting there a bag of a wet-processed Ethiopia Kochere, just waiting to be roasted! Fortunately for my taste buds and coffee geekiness, Kane was easily convinced that he should roast that up, which led to us drinking a press of that not very long after the roast had been finished. Yes, it was quite early, but we did it to get an idea of what would be offered in the final cup. And what, you ask, was the verdict? Well, in a word, delicious!

posted by Bolo | 5:35 PM
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Thoughts: Godward

God loves me. I'm not proud of this fact, for I have no reason to be. However, I am grateful for His love, and it's something I'm learning to accept, not only in its form and function, but also in what it means for me in life and beyond. Said differently, being loved by God Himself is the most undeserved privilege I could ever think of or hope for, yet I am terrible at accepting His gift of love appropriately. I think, my friends, He understands this better than I do.

posted by Bolo | 1:57 AM
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Wasabi Masago Ahi @Sunergos

Matthew, Kane and Aaron were the first haole boys to enjoy the fish that came with me from home. Matthew, who had lived in Kane'ohe at one point, enjoyed it almost too much.

posted by Bolo | 10:00 PM
4 speakage

24 - 23

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

posted by Bolo | 6:02 PM
1 speakage

Koen: B & W

posted by Bolo | 3:22 PM
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What Uncle Johnny Drinks: 7

posted by Bolo | 2:03 AM
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Pressed For Answers

Mikams and Boss give a couple of astute observations...

posted by Bolo | 12:23 PM
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Cup of the Morning

Ethiopia Idido Misty Valley...delicious!

posted by Bolo | 9:37 AM
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Quotes: SWFWDA

Yes, the Single White Female Who Desires Anonymity strikes again. This'll see.

"That just begs for idle crushes...they're practically required...and thanks to you and your reminder about the best Diet Coke commercial ever, I now have a new one."

"Yeah...I don't think you're supposed to look for 'awesome people' in the mental health facility."

"FYI, I should not be allowed to call the Apple Store without supervision. Evidently, not knowing what the technical term would be for something when you need to ask whether it's in stock is something of a hindrance. Apparently, they expect you to know what sort of computer you have. I forgot. I had to tell the guy I had the 12-inch silver one. Then, he asked if that meant that I needed a 65-watt which I replied, 'Well, maybe. Is that the little square white box with a cylindrical outlet thingie?' Much to his credit, he kept the snickering to a minimum. He did, however, point out that it might increase my odds of getting what I needed if I actually used the phrase '65-watt adapter' when I got to the store..."

"If I got help, you'd have to find a new SWFWDA...sort of like replacing Lassie, or Dear Abby."

"You should be glad I don't have a blog, because that was quite the quote you just handed me, sir."

"I was actually asked whether I was involved in some infamous date-misunderstanding yesterday....and I think it involves one of your friends. Do you know someone who asked a girl out and received the response, 'You mean, you and me?' I did not know of this person or this incident...but I was asked about it because I was told that it sounded like something I might have said to a guy."

posted by Bolo | 7:09 AM
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posted by Bolo | 10:20 PM
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Who really is Christ suited for?

who is better suited for a Fortress than someone who has no strength?

who needs or loves a Physician than the really sick?

who desires a Shepherd more than those of us who are constantly getting lost?

who wants a perfect High Priest who ever lives to intercede more than the one who daily sees their need for forgiveness?

is the cross, is the gospel really for the likes of you?

who is looking more intently at the Morning Star than the one who has wandered in the darkness?

who better than those who feel the deadness and coldness of their soul can more appreciate the One who is the Ressurrection and the Life?

who stares at the Bridegroom more than the one who knows a bitter loneliness?

who is more suited to be loved by the Hope of Glory than those who are in utter despair?

is Christ for the likes of John Letoto?

who needs a Rock, a Cornerstone, more than the man who is shaken to the core?

who loves a Prince of Peace more than the restless and the weary?

yes, John Letoto - the Cross is for the likes of you - in fact, nothing in the universe is more fitting, more suited, more perfect for your salvation, your life and your soul, than the Lamb of God.

you were created and sustained and pursued and regenerated and purchased and brought near and loved and perfected and justified and set apart - to know this truth - that Jesus Christ came as a man, suffered, died and rose again not just for the likes of you - but for you... John Letoto.

Some of you may remember reading that some time ago...over a year ago, actually. Dave wrote those lines and sent them to me after I'd confessed my sin to him. He said they were "just something I wrote really quickly." Hah.

Right now, I want to crawl up into God's lap and never feel alone again. I want to be held by Him and never ever even think of sinning again. I want to know, without heeding one whisper of doubt or feeling one shred of shame, that He loves me as He says He does.

I am the one that Dave spoke of: without strength; sick; lost; needing forgiveness; in the dark; feeling dead and cold; bitterly lonely; despairing; shaken; restless and weary. Yes, I am that man, and that is what makes me perfectly suited for Jesus' arms.

posted by Bolo | 6:20 PM
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Cup of the Afternoon

Kenya Weithaga Peaberry: From dry aroma to light, lingering aftertaste, legendary, simply legendary.

posted by Bolo | 3:41 PM
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The Sound of Makana: So Long, Farewell

Seriously. Does it get much cuter? Okay, it does, but only because this isn't the end of the videos I have archived ;)

posted by Bolo | 1:32 PM
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Thoughts: Godward

I really loathe the thought of leaving Immanuel to be a part of another local church. Why? Because I really love being a part of this local body of believers. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?

posted by Bolo | 12:38 AM
3 speakage



I remember changing their diapers. Now they have zits and stuff. Life flies way too quickly sometimes.

posted by Bolo | 11:58 PM
1 speakage


When Stephen explains to someone concerning my absence, "He was out of the country last week," I can't help but want to give him a little bit of a history lesson. I should have left some coffee for Koen, too. Kings of Leon, eh? Losing to Navy once is more than enough, but two years in a about too close for job security! Heated apartments are overrated, or so I keep telling myself. That was just last week, wasn't it? Does this mean we'll have a V-Neck Blend? For a guy lacking a ton of sleep and who hadn't volleyed anything since April, I think I did pretty well. Oh, that Guatemala Oriente Dry-Process...I dig, I dig! Four weeks ago, life was so <i>incredibly</i> different. Thanks again, Kiddo...stellar sustenance, indeed. I didn't even think about surfing; how peculiar. Twice each at Boots & Kimo's and Young's is pretty good, I say. Mmmm...Alicia's Market definitely broke da mout. So what if I drooled a wee bit on the flight from O'Hare? I want to see Heaven, really really badly...but not nearly enough. So what if I leaned in too close to my roaster while roasting and burned my's just 'cause I get really excited, so lay off me, okay? Maybe a bit more than just a wee bit of drool...hey, it happens! O'Neal, I just decided you owe me an ice cream cone.

posted by Bolo | 6:11 PM
2 speakage

What Uncle Johnny Drinks: 6

posted by Bolo | 2:03 PM
1 speakage

Koen: B & W

posted by Bolo | 12:44 AM
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On Being Back

Being back is hard. I don't think I realized that stepping back into normal wouldn't be so normal. After preparing myself so much for the going, I didn't give much thought to the coming back, and that, I want to say, is just as hard.

For all of us.

Earlier this afternoon, I told Ryan that reading Psalm 27 took on a new light. David's cry to behold just one thing, God, is pretty easy to mimic when all is well, when Scripture can be observed in an insulating vacuum. These days, I seem to mean that cry with a whole lot more sincerity; I can't help it.

I want to say that being back has brought on a pretty intense melancholy, but it usually does when I fly in from home. This time, though, the melancholy is different.

*Sigh*...I wish it weren't.

posted by Bolo | 5:56 PM
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Back and Roasting

We've been talking about it for a while now, but I'll do a little roasting with Kane at Sunergos today. Well, kind of. A little Kochere district...the stuff I had last year had a nutty, limey characteristic to the cup. Wonderful stuff! We'll see how it goes...

posted by Bolo | 11:44 AM
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What Uncle Johnny Drinks: 5

posted by Bolo | 7:28 PM
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For the record, I'm not a big fan of airports.

posted by Bolo | 1:15 PM
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posted by Bolo | 9:29 PM
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Hard Things

It's a really, really hard thing -- sad and happy all at once -- to see little Kavin, all of three years old, hold up a picture of his daddy and wave to it as he says, "Hi daddy! Hi daddy! Hi daddy!"

posted by Bolo | 4:57 PM
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posted by Bolo | 12:16 AM
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Sobering Grace

If I said it was a hard day, I would be making an understatement. I saw things I thought I'd never see, and I was a part of things I never wanted to be a part of. That was the closest I'd ever been to such sorrow, and even now, the sorrow is still very near...too near. Perhaps time will give perspective and clarity, but even still, I'm incredibly sobered by God's sovereign grace in the midst of such pain.

Throughout the morning and the afternoon, I had Bob Kauflin's adaptation of It Is Not Death to Die running through my mind:

It is not death to die
To leave this weary road
And join the saints who dwell on high
Who’ve found their home with God
It is not death to close
The eyes long dimmed by tears
And wake in joy before Your throne
Delivered from our fears

O Jesus, conquering the grave
Your precious blood has power to save
Those who trust in You
Will in Your mercy find
That it is not death to die

It is not death to fling
Aside this earthly dust
And rise with strong and noble wing
To live among the just
It is not death to hear
The key unlock the door
That sets us free from mortal years
To praise You evermore

I think I'll be thinking of those words for a while, still.

posted by Bolo | 11:05 PM
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What Uncle Johnny Drinks: 4

posted by Bolo | 10:21 AM
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I'm exhausted. Physically and mentally, I feel drained, and I'm a little bit afraid of the possibility that I'm much more emotionally drained than I realize. I'm anticipating the morning bringing more of all of that, but we'll see.

posted by Bolo | 5:09 AM
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Found It!

Kavin was doing a little exploring...just a little, mind you...

posted by Bolo | 4:15 PM
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There's something...oh...unique about watching Tuan eat this...yeah, that's all I've got to say.

posted by Bolo | 3:39 PM
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Morning Musings

My littlest nephew, Zayvin, is in my lap while he sucks down the contents of his bottle. His mommy, my youngest sister, is asleep on the couch. Kason, the nephew that was two when I first left here nearly six years ago, is up and roaming around looking for something to do. I think I'll probably take him with me to go get some breakfast in a little bit. Boots & Kimo's pancakes with their macadamia nut sauce, I want to say.

*Sigh*'s so strange to be here right now...good, sad, but still strange...

posted by Bolo | 11:45 AM
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True Story

"Hmmmm...liquid love."

-Micah Revell, waxing eloquent on the wonders of coffee

posted by Bolo | 10:31 AM
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What Uncle Johnny Drinks: 3

posted by Bolo | 9:19 AM
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On the Heights

This was taken from mom's place yesterday afternoon at sunset. I climbed up on the wall, and Kavin, Koen and Makana wanted to follow me up there. Unfortunately for them, a four foot wall is a bit much to tackle.

posted by Bolo | 12:13 AM
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Yes yes yes, just as Lyle is fond of saying, I am a terrible person. I tell you what, though, da buggah was 'ono!

By the way, 'Drew, she asked where you were. I said you were still in PA. She then asked me if you were in school. I told her you weren't. She then asked where you were working. Let me say that this was after Mon told her I wasn't in school in her, "John Boy-doesn't-go-to-school-and-is-a-miscreant-and-blight-on-society" voice. may have inadvertently gotten you into trouble with yet another Korean woman...sorry! Hmmm...maybe it'll go over better at Gina's.

posted by Bolo | 9:45 PM
5 speakage

Makana and Uncle Johnny

posted by Bolo | 4:18 PM
4 speakage

The Sound of Makana

Yep, that's right, she's culturally astute.

posted by Bolo | 9:24 AM
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Thoughts: Godward

Life would go much more smoothly if I simply took God at His promises, don't you think? Part of the reason I don't is because I don't know the promises of God the way I ought. Pretty straightforward prerequisite, really.

posted by Bolo | 7:40 AM
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What Uncle Johnny Drinks: 2

posted by Bolo | 12:19 AM
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Some of you received a picture message from my phone yesterday. This was taken at roughly the same time. I think I like this shot better ;)

posted by Bolo | 11:14 PM
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Six Years Later

In order to understand just how amazing this post is, you had to have been a part of my life -- our lives -- about seven or eight years ago. Even then, most people won't even come close to understanding exactly what it meant to us to sit around together last night and catch up, albeit far too briefly.

posted by Bolo | 1:51 PM
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Oishii Desu Ne

Lunch with Mary and the kids yesterday...not bad at all!

posted by Bolo | 11:10 AM
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What Uncle Johnny Drinks: 1

posted by Bolo | 11:01 AM
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I See You!

posted by Bolo | 10:09 AM
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Quotes: SWFWDA

"I like how you squeeze a compliment in there to ease into the fact that you have fabricated a physical deformity on my part."

"You should know, by the way, that my mother laughed hysterically at me earlier when she asked about my plans for the weekend...evidently, my sister never has to use the phrase, 'semi-blind double un-date' to answer that question."

"Hmmm... how is it that I have no male fans?"

"As I am fond of pointing out, you are trouble...the trouble is visible from miles away. From space, possibly."

"Much of my behavior is explained by my friends as, 'Oh, who knows? It's the SWFWDA.' My clinical child psychopathology professor encouraged me to consider having myself evaluated for adult ADD the other day. She seems to feel I could be reigned in a bit by some pharmaceuticals."

posted by Bolo | 1:02 PM
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'Atta boy, Rev. Three flights, and I slept through most of 'em. Koen now knows what coffee is. I think Tiny Tank and Kiddo would've thrown blows had I not shared. My brother now knows that japan is a Scrabble-eligible word. They don't know much, but they know they love each other. That green team ended up a little green with envy on Saturday. Yeah, that definitely wasn't a, "You and me?" I'm home. Four pounds of coffee is a lot to roast when roasting in half-pound batches. Thanks for the early-morning ride, bro. I find it amusing that I have a growing readership of amused readers in Pennsylvania...oh, those poor souls with nothing better to do!

posted by Bolo | 4:11 AM
5 speakage


I Have a Shelter

This song, written by Steve and Vicki Cook, hails from Sovereign Grace's Come Weary Saints album. I told Rev and Philip that it's been an album that has blessed me tremendously in the past several days, despite the fact that I didn't really give it a whole lot of listening time when I first got it in the spring. iTunes has had it on repeat as of late, and every time I hear the last line of the song, I think of Ryan telling me some months ago, "Come home soon and let me shepherd you to heaven." Even more, I think of how safe I am in the arms of the Great Shepherd, and how, despite the fact that I run after so many things, I still want nothing more than to be held in His arms. Even now, as I travel the long, painful journey home, I'm very certain that I'm listening to this. Thanks for the reminder, Andrew.

I have a shelter in the storm
When troubles pour upon me
Though fears are rising like a flood
My soul can rest securely
O Jesus, I will hide in You
My place of peace and solace
No trial is deeper than Your love
That comforts all my sorrows

I have a shelter in the storm
When all my sins accuse me
Though justice charges me with guilt
Your grace will not refuse me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
Who bore my condemnation
I find my refuge in Your wounds
For there I find salvation

I have a shelter in the storm
When constant winds would break me
For in my weakness, I have learned
Your strength will not forsake me
O Jesus, I will hide in You
The One who bears my burdens
With faithful hands that cannot fail
You’ll bring me home to heaven

posted by Bolo | 3:28 PM
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Morning's Musings

It's early here, really early. In under three hours or so, I'll be headed north toward Chicago for my first connecting flight, then on to Los Angeles for the second before I take off for the last leg over the familiar waters of the Pacific. My apartment smells like I've roasted several batches of coffee, which I have, and I'm wondering about the rather tedious act of packing, because I've not. As I reflect upon this trip home, a trip I thought I'd never have to make, I cannot help but feel caught up in circumstances well beyond my control.

That's putting it lightly.

There isn't just this trip home and all that it means that's on my mind; so much seems to have a hold of my heart as I get ready to leave. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, I keep getting brought back to the cross. I told the Revells over dinner that I feel like I need to see things in the light of the cross, behold life illumined by the glory of Christ's countenance.

I don't want to take that desire lightly...I can't afford to.

posted by Bolo | 5:19 AM
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Don't Blink

posted by Bolo | 2:19 PM
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Unfixed, So Broken

I feel as though I should cry, yet tears do not come. I want so much to understand, yet I know that I cannot possibly begin to fathom what has happened. I stay up late until it's early, wondering how I might fix what has been broken, yet feel all too broken myself. *Sigh*...if I give it a couple days, I've no doubt the tears will come.

posted by Bolo | 5:38 PM
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Thoughts: Godward

I find that in times like these, times when I'm tempted to run away from what I see in front of me, the only possible answer that makes sense is this: run toward the cross of Christ. I suppose another way of saying that is to say that I can only see the world around me rightly when I have first beheld and become enthralled by beholding my Savior, for it is then that I am able to see the world in light of and in comparison to the glory of my Savior.

posted by Bolo | 2:29 AM
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Good and Strong

The boys from Jars sing it best...

Call it obsession
Call it fanatical
But I am not trying
To make this a spectacle
I have this craving
Justifies behaving
I really need some of that

Ooo, good coffee
Strong coffee
I need to have some
Ooo, good coffee
Strong coffee

...and they sing it to me now while I sip on this Dale Yirga Alem from Ethiopia. Heck yes!

posted by Bolo | 2:07 PM
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Quotes: SWFWDA

Yes, she really says these things, and no, I don't prompt her to say what she says. Fortunately, the Single White Female Who Desires Anonymity has one of the most witty -- if broken -- filters known to single females everywhere.

"I'm a recovering introvert at best. I'm not really a very good extrovert. I just have to play one at work."

"I mean, I own a sewing machine that I know how to use (but never do), I know how to process black and white film and make my own prints, but I don't have access to a lab, so I don't...I like to cook, but my dog isn't allowed people food, and I tried to learn to knit, but the cursing disturbed the neighbors. I'm just not good at commitment. My hobbies are never lasting relationships."

"I'm more the romantic train wreck type."

"I'm almost as afraid of engagement rings and weddings as you are of surprise birthday parties."

"You know what I would say if a server went down? I would say, 'Oops...I think I broke the computer,' because that is my all-purpose reaction to non-responsive electronics, and it usually is accurate. Of course, our tech guy looks just exactly like Jude Law meets Ken (of Ken & Barbie), so I don't mind. My office loves it when I break things...they get new scenery. My case manager can barely compose herself when this guy asks her printer questions; it's wildly amusing. The phrase, 'Can you come use my computer for awhile? And by "use" I mean "break." It's been awhile since there were any men in here...' was used the other day."

posted by Bolo | 12:07 AM
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Got It

Thanks, brother.

posted by Bolo | 10:56 PM
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On Repeat

I could listen to Rob D's Clubbed to Death (Kurayamino variation) all day. I really miss my Sennhesier HD-580s...*sigh*.

posted by Bolo | 12:00 PM
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Morning Glory

The view from the kitchen window, about twenty minutes ago. Nothing special, picture-wise, yet...incredibly special. One of those things that's glorious, even to my foolish eyes.

posted by Bolo | 7:50 AM
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Some Dude

My roommate just walked in...

...heard what I have playing on iTunes...

...and asked, "Hey, this sounds good! Who is this?"

And I reply, "Some dude...I think his name is...ummm...Sinatra."

posted by Bolo | 12:07 AM
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Like I told Katie, now I really want to meet me and be Kev's friend. Hah!

It ushered in a paradigm shift in my coffee experience, and now, it's back.


Enjoyable reading? For me, yes, and incredibly so.

posted by Bolo | 5:04 PM
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Two days ago, I roasted up a batch of the wet-processed Koratie just out of the first crack. If I recall correctly, I dropped the heat a little just before the first crack ensued, then upon entering that stage, dropped the heat even further and let the fan kick in. That should have drawn out the sugars and really gave the roast a fullness to the origin's inherent sweetness. The verdict? Heck yes! Loads of bright, delicate fruit -- almost like sucking on a Jolly Rancher -- coupled with a pleasant, lingering aftertaste highlight the experience I get from this cup.

posted by Bolo | 2:34 PM
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Oatmeal with dark brown sugar. Ethiopia Dale Yirga Alem roasted about a minute past first crack a couple of nights ago, ground to a relatively fine grind and then pressed. Ben Sollee's new EP on the iPod.

Mmm :)

posted by Bolo | 9:30 AM
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Toplady's verses have been the very cry of my soul these past days. I would love to write more and explain, but I can't. Perhaps it's merely a lack of words to express how much I want to be hidden in God...yes, I do lack such words.

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labor of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law’s demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When my eyes shall close in death,
When I rise to worlds unknown,
And behold Thee on Thy throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.

posted by Bolo | 11:51 PM
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Caffeinated Sights

posted by Bolo | 6:25 PM
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One More Time

Boss: I'll tell it to you again when I get it. Shoots...kden.

posted by Bolo | 1:26 AM
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I've decided that I, among other things, am a bastion of heartlessness. A week is a long time. Freakin' Time Crisis 3. Roasting is a soothing experience. The long-awaited clash of Scrabblers was indeed titanic, was it not, Ms. Kandt? Ugh...four overtimes! Tomorrow we shop. A finer grind in the press...yes! Vain, maybe, but a philanthropic sort of vain. Moisan has got to have one of the tiniest tanks ever. Sleep and I love to fight, it seems. I didn't see Lukey yesterday...that's sad. The goodness in this mug sitting next to my keyboard is becoming increasingly interesting and complex as it cools. I suppose holding one's tongue can prevent drooling, but I still can't fathom how. Feeling fabric is a perfectly legitimate pastime, Huffman. I could go for a session with the Surf Crew right about now. That Mini sits there on the kitchen table, just begging to be used.

posted by Bolo | 11:23 PM
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posted by Bolo | 5:47 PM
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Free Hit
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