Smeagol is Free! A hermitudinal view of...stuff...

10.31.2003   Only the lonely For whatever reason, I'm feeling a little lonely tonight. But I'm thinking it's a good thing. No, check that; it's a great thing. I've forgotten the important thing in my life...indeed, the important One...and I'm not sure I like what I've seen in myself recently. I've gotten good grades, I've worked hard at work, and I've been acting (somewhat...hehe) like a responsible adult should. But you know what? That'll get me nowhere. *Sigh*... Sometimes God gives us loneliness to remind us of something - we're not alone. I've gotten so caught up in myself, so caught up in learning about God, that I've forgotten one thing - God. A while back I wrote about the word "lingering," a word that Jonathan had gifted me with one day. I feel like I've failed to savor that gift...to savor God. Oh, how easily I've become caught up in everything all over again! There's a freedom we are given when God shows us how fragile we are. We are but foolish sheep, constantly wandering astray, constantly in need of our Shepherd's loving care. Oh to be held in the arms of our dear Shepherd once more! God, would you carry me? Would you hold me once again, and not let me run away in my foolishness? Hold me and care for me as only You can... posted by Bolo | 6:32 PM 0 speakage 10.30.2003   Reason #27 why Boyce College Rocks: The Big Show. 'Twas Boyce's version of "The Late Show" last Friday night, and it did indeed rock, even though there were a few glitches that threatened to drive us over the edge into insanity. Scott planned and hosted the event, and yours truly did the backstage stuff...telling people when to go on, taking care of the lights (yeah, I'm still the original FCF Light Boy!), pulling people from the crowd to participate when needed, and all that good stuff. The best part was being able to dress up and look smooth...heck yeah :) The weather around here today is great. The term "Indian Summer" finally has true meaning for me, and am I ever so glad for it! I'm offically whiter than I ever have been in my life, and although I've resigned myself to the fact that I won't get tanned before next Spring, I can still dream that the sun will tan me a little for the next few days :) Yeah yeah yeah...I know I'm pathetic. What's your point? posted by Bolo | 12:42 PM 0 speakage 10.28.2003   Shoulder Sit there for a moment, don't sneak away just yet. I'd like to ask you a few questions, if I may. I'm wondering what your day was like, if it made you happy or sad. I'm wondering what you're doing right now, other than reading my silly blog. Are you getting ready to eat dinner, or have you just finished eating? Are you at work, or perhaps at school, whittling the time away? Have you just begun your day, or are you nearly finished, ready to give your worn out soul some rest? Still, although though I'd like to know those things, I'm curious about one more thing. I wonder, if like me, you've forgotten what's most important. I wonder, if like me, you feel like you're fighting a fight like the little Dutch Boy, plugging holes in the walls of your heart to keep people from knowing how hurt you are. I wonder, if like me, you feel like you're climbing to get to the top of a mountain that just seems to constantly get bigger. Do you feel that way? Do you wonder what's the use? I do, too. I have a friend, a very close friend, who as of late, has been wondering if we're going to remain friends. I know, I know, that sounds somewhat complicated and vague. It's just that he's been hurt a lot, and he's not sure of whom he can trust. He doesn't realize it, but I think of him often...in fact, he's one of the reasons I'm here. He doesn't write me often, but when he does, his pain calls out to me...it's like I can hear him weeping through his words. Sometimes, when I'm tempted to feel sorry for myself, I think of him and I realize that I'm not as alone as I think. I think of him, and I realize that there are lonelier people in this world. I think of him, and I hope he realizes that he's not as lonely as he thinks...so long as I'm alive, he'll always have a shoulder to cry on. Anyway, I mentioned earlier that I often feel like I'm climbing a mountain that's constantly getting bigger. You know, it's true; I am. We all have to deal with that mountain in one way or another. Some of us choose to sit, and never begin the climb. Others begin it, but don't finish it. Yet for those of us who do climb, we're often faced with a problem. Sometimes, the mountain seems to be our enemy, and won't let us climb along the path we'd choose for ourselves. We get mad, we throw a fit, but eventually, we must submit to the will of the mountain. And yes, the summit does indeed seem to be ever further off the higher we climb, if there's a summit at all. Yet, that's the beauty of the mountain, for it is ever more grand, ever more stunning than the day before. It is up to us to seek to see the grandeur, and in seeking, to be stunned by it. posted by Bolo | 10:38 PM 0 speakage 10.21.2003   Separated A little Hebrew lesson is in order here. The root for the Hebrew word for holy is "qad", which means "to cut, separate." What's the significance of this? Just this: I've often mistaken the idea of holiness as being clean, being pure. But this just isn't the case, especially when it comes to looking at God's holiness. In a sense, it's like we're dealing with apples and oranges here. If humans were all oranges, then you could think of us as all being sinful oranges. But no matter how unsinful we become, we're still oranges. God, on the other hand, is not only pure and free from sin, but He's an apple...*not* an orange in the least. I know, I know, some of you are shaking your heads and going, "bible college finally cracked you, John!" You probably wouldn't be very far off in your assessment ;) In all seriousness, though, the whole idea of God being entirely *different* from us struck me pretty hard today in our Theology I class with Dean Johnson. Think about it...striving for holiness isn't something where we have a goal to become "more" or "less" than what we are; we must truly become *changed* in our very nature on our journey toward holiness! That thought is both encouraging and humbling. The theme of the past couple of weeks has been simple: to God be the glory. The living out of that is what can be complicated and difficult. The pressures of exams, quizzes, book reviews, ministry, work, financial needs, deadlines, and missed deadlines all pull at you to take your focus away from what's most important. In all honesty, I've often wondered if enjoying and seeking God has even been on "the list" for me. *Sigh*...my eyes are burning from a lack of sleep, my smiles are becoming farther and fewer between as I wonder more and more if this paycheck will be enough or if that scholarship will finally come through, and the demands of school and ministry bring me near to tears. Yet in the midst of this, God has been ever so gracious...breathtakingly so. I remember telling Monica at the beginning of the semester that if God really wants me here, He'll find a way to keep me here. At times, I've doubted that. It can get pretty dark and desperate, but it's in those times that finding Him once more becomes all the sweeter. *Sigh*...this semester won't get any easier, I can almost guarantee that. But you know what? I've slowly become reconciled to the notion that God wants me to realize more of His grace; if I must know the pains of desperation in order to know the surpassing beauty of His grace, so be it! posted by Bolo | 10:43 PM 0 speakage 10.16.2003   Lull It's that rough time of the semester where the weather makes me want to stay indoors and under the covers, and there is a distinct lack of excitement to drive myself onward in my academic endeavors. I must do my reading, take diligent notes in class, and make sure that I do so with promptness, if not vigorous promptness. But am I? Will I? *Sigh*...that's debatable :) posted by Bolo | 9:50 AM 0 speakage 10.15.2003   Ethnics... So a bunch of us are sitting in the cafeteria yesterday. Jessica says she's "Floridian" since she's from Florida, and someone else says they're "Texan" since they're from Texas. I said that the term "Hawaiian" is an ethnic term, not a geographic one, whereas they're using those terms ("Floridian" and "Texan") as though they're ethnical, not geographical. Jessica says smugly, "they are!" My even smugger response? "No, 'Floridian' and 'Texan' don't refer to ethnic background, they relate to levels of depravity!" Hehe...just thought I'd share that one :) On a far more serious note, Bethlehem Baptist Church hosted the Jonathan Edwards Conference this past weekend. When I asked Scott about it on Monday, he whispered to me in dorm meeting, "it changed my life." Wow. That's not the kind of statement someone makes about just anything. That's not the kind of statement Scott makes about just anything. So it's understandable that I was floored when he said that. From my understanding, Scott's perspective helped to make it that much better for him. His home church is Bethlehem Baptist, so he gets teaching from John Piper all the time. He said to me that it hit him just this weekend that he could, at any time, email "Pastor John" about help with a paper...that he's had people of that magnitude surrounding him, ministering to and with him...blessed? Yes. But that didn't make the conference amazing, nor was that what made Scott's experience at the conference. It was, in a nutshell, simply this: that God is worth it. It gave him a perspective that causes all things to seem either utterly necessary or utterly void of value. Listening to Scott talk about what God showed him renewed my own passion, my conviction, my desire. I'm forced to ask myself, "am I *truly* living?" Is what I'm doing now simply drudgery, or is it fueled by the white-hot passion of God for His glory that He's set out to accomplish in my life? That's a heavy question, but we're living a life that requires a heavy answer. Am I truly living? I told Scott that what I hate most about being at a bible college, especially one as excellent as Boyce, is that it's so easy to substitute learning for living. Learning about God is great, but unless it flows, unless it's burning and consuming me, what use is such fuel? It simply sits there, cold, dark, unlit, unconsumed by the Holy Spirit, lacking any conviction and power. When we were walking around after dorm meeting on Monday night, Scott and I got a little lost on the way back to campus. The roads were windy and dark, the night was cold, and he was late for dorm check-in. Yet, we relized something. We were, in a sense, far less lost than we had been in a long while. posted by Bolo | 1:20 PM 0 speakage 10.12.2003   Fall I must confess. I am falling in love. Yes, I. Improbable as it may seem, I have found a new love, one that has me laughing and smiling and singing and seeing the world in beautiful, vibrant colors. How, you ask, has this come to pass? More specifically, who in the world could possibly cause such a change in my heretofore unwavering tune? Does this beauty have a name? Indeed, she does! Her name is Fall, and she is glorious. Her trees are clothed in color schemes that inspire and delight; her temperament cool and crisp, instantly refreshing. I find myself soothed in her presence, sunny and bright but not overly so, cool and wistful with a whispering of days gone by. Where has she been all of my life? *Sigh*... Hah! And you thought it was a girl. Silly human :P Anyway, yesterday was cool. One of the girls at Boyce rounded up about 30 of us to go out to somebody's house out in the middle of somewhere about 45 minutes from school for a day of R & R. The drive itself was awesome, if only because the highway was lined with trees in various shades of autumnal decor, and the weather was juuuuust perfect...sunny, but with the tiniest bit of a nip in the air. Jack Johnson's latest album is excellent driving music, by the way. We played a little croquet, ping-pong, and "volleyball" (not really volleyball, but that's the closest sport to what we were doing). The house is surrounded by some other farms, with cattle providing quite the aromatic backdrop to our evening meal. There's also a donkey that likes to come close to the fence and laugh at the croquet players' dialogue between themselves and their uncooperative balls. I managed to come in a close 2nd to the owner of the house; since it was the first game, I don't feel guilty in attributing the slim margin of victory to his familiarity with the playing field ;) After dinner we started a little campfire, during which Moody brought out his guitar and we sang some songs while under the open sky. Later, we made some smores. All in all, a good day :) posted by Bolo | 2:23 PM 0 speakage 10.11.2003   Derek Webb Last night a bunch of us Boyce Junkies went to see Derek Webb live in concert. His first song? Faith My Eyes. If he sang no other song from that point on, he already had me. But dang...the man is amazing! We hung around afterward and got to converse with him for a bit. He's super cool...kinda short and smallish, and he does this thing where he crosses his legs and talks at the same time, almost as if he's gotta pee but not really, and his head looks somewhat big for the rest of his body; but hey, the dude can sing! Oh, and he loves Jesus...he gets points for that, too :) One of the things he was telling everyone during the concert itself was that we as Christians tend to measure our spiritual maturity in terms of how much less we sin, not how deeply we're repenting...and that's not a good thing to be doing. That one struck a nerve with me. I had to ask myself, "am I really repenting, every day, every moment, running away from sin and striving toward God's righteousness and grace?" Sin is one of those taboo words we tend to smile at like the ugly duckling child everyone feels sorry for; the problem is, it's not. It's the evil Chucky doll that simply won't die, and is not to be pitied. Off with its head! posted by Bolo | 12:43 PM 0 speakage 10.09.2003   Honored Psalm 91:15 reads: "He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him." Today Jonathan and I worked through Psalm 91. When we got to verse 15, we got stuck. What seemed so odd was the very last part, where God says that He will *honor* us. Why so odd? Think about it. What reason can you give to God to *honor* you? Jesus? Sure, His blood covers us, and through Him we are allowed into His presence. But *honored*? That's one of the most absurd things I can think of! I told Jonathan that I'd always felt uncomfortable with the thought of God "glorifying" or "honoring" me when we're all finally in heaven. I mean, I'm uncomfortable with public praise to begin with; can you imagine how foolish I'd feel to be the recipient of glory and honor when I absolutely, positively, do not deserve it? But that's my flesh talking, the side that cannot comprehend the kindness of God. Jonathan asked me a great question: "if you could have one thing at this moment, just one thing, what would it be?" Easy. A pair of tickets, one to home, one back here. "Why?" he asked. Simple. I want to see everyone, even if it weren't for Christmas, even if just for a few days. Like I told someone a couple days ago: better is a thousand days in Hawai'i than a thousand elsewhere :) Ok, maybe that's not the best interpretation of scripture...sue me! Anyway, his next question went like this: "What would it be like for all your friends and family to see you? Would they not rejoice? Would not their joy be *honoring* to you?" CLICK. I swear, I almost heard the click in my head. I got it. We then talked about the story of the prodigal son, and how the father ran to his son. The father *ran*. Hebrew fathers in that day didn't run; such a thing was undignified and far below them. Yet this one ran, and such a running is not to be overlooked. Wasn't that running honoring to his son, even though this son of his didn't deserve honor? Absolutely! And so it is with us, when we call upon our Father. He runs to us...He honors us! A little bit later, we spoke of how easily we take for granted the good things of God because our sin numbs us. I told Jonathan that I was reminded of drinking a fresh cup of coffee. Oh my...soon Starbucks will be getting their gingerbread and eggnog flavors...*sigh*...anyway, where was I? Oh yeah...cup of coffee. Sometimes, in my haste to taste, I won't let it cool, and I'll burn my tongue on the scalding hot liquid. A split second of impatience brings on an entire week of not being able to eat or drink things in such a way that I can enjoy them properly. So it is with sin; we burn our souls and so cannot feast upon the goodness of God, let alone differentiate between what is good and what is not. When my tongue is burnt like that, my taste buds don't work. When my soul is burnt by sin, my ability to be satisfied in God is dried up. posted by Bolo | 6:14 PM 0 speakage 10.06.2003   Historical Whoa. The unthinkable happened. Well...not quite. Andrew actually called me from B.C., and I actually answered and had time to talk. It's the first time in five semesters that that's happened, if memory serves me correctly. *Sigh*...it was good to talk with the dude...a huge, huge blessing that I was desperate for. Thanks, God... posted by Bolo | 6:19 PM 0 speakage 10.03.2003   Linger Jonathan gave me a great word to ponder today: linger. I was telling him about the things I've been missing lately, and how I realized that I've not taken the time to sit with God...to "linger". I can't say that I haven't had the time to sit with Him, because that's not true. Rather, I've not taken the time to push everything else aside...to linger with Him. Being on a campus where the God is the emphasis can deceive us into thinking that we're automatically being fed. If anything, it's akin to going to a feast, given a huge plate with incredible food, being told to eat, and not eating. We can see and smell the food all we want, but if we don't take fork to food and eat, we won't be nourished. Sadly, I know I'm guilty of this, especially when I get busy and think that my service to God is so important that He can't possibly work through me if I don't accomplish everything. But that's not the case, is it? Nope...God wants me to linger... posted by Bolo | 6:14 PM 0 speakage 10.02.2003   Sunset You know what I miss? I miss sunsets at Kaka'ako Park, where I'd sit on the rocks watching the sun paint the sky in colors that I'd only previously seen melted together on old Filipino ladies, all while the waves swooshed around below. I miss sitting with Matt and Mike and Dean at Blow Hole, watching the night lit up with the Geminid meteor showers...it was one of those nights you hope never ends. I miss lying in the grass at Pu'unui Park late at night with the full moon coming up from behind the Ko'olau mountain range. I miss sitting outside of Andrew's house, the two of us talking until late became early, and a normal night became special. I miss sitting with Brian at Starbucks, asking him if I could be blunt, and with his blessing, telling him exactly what I felt my gut was telling me to tell him. I miss flipping the kayak over with Jon...and laughing afterwards. I miss dinner with my family, with me picking up Dad late 'cause Andrew and Brian and I surfed too long...family affairs were always times where we'd make more silly memories to tease each other about for years to come. But do you know why I miss those things? I miss them because I could sit with You, God, and realize how blessed I am. Watching the sunset always carried with it an expectancy, an anticipation that You were there. You're still here, but do I look for You? The Geminids made me smile for two reasons: because they were something beautiful to watch, and because I had friends to watch them with. Pu'unui Park reminds me of my need to be real with You, to be a little child, to be weak and frail and joyful and awful and aware all at once. Andrew and Brian? What would I do without them? Yet, when you took us apart, You made us stronger. Going to Jon's house was like stepping into refreshment...there's no way I couldn't be encouraged. Being with my family...well...Christmas won't be the same without them...but You're with me...maybe I need to learn that again. posted by Bolo | 7:29 PM 0 speakage Dell Coupons		Daily Coffee Sweet Maria's James Hoffmann Theologous Desiring God Ministries Monergism Discerning Reader Albert Mohler, Jr. Russell Moore 9 Marks Play Jock Think Laugh Foxtrot User Friendly Learn National Geographic Geek out. Again.   Read Paint Prayer Pleasures Commune Galactic Wabbit Great Listen Jack Finished Discover Tones of Fleck Step In the Arms Smashing Thinking Visualize Facebook Albums (Updated 3/21/2007) Blogging Buddies Homeage Gary Uch Boss Kev Goose Mark Rich Sanchez Mon & Dave Leo Barb Brit The 'Villeage O'Neals Jim Hilliard Pablo Butterworth the Younger Nikki Lefty Ashlea Parris Cavies Calvinaugh Weenie & Elizabeth Owen T4G Tim Bob Josh Christman Szrama Ryherd Brandt Hutch FYI FYI TV CMac Maiden Dana Dubya Old School Memories Faith... Wonder... Empty Snaps Manna The Misses Character Me Me Bug Me smeagolisfree@gmail.com AIM: MrToto2U Facebook Yore 03.2003 / 04.2003 / 05.2003 / 06.2003 / 07.2003 / 08.2003 / 09.2003 / 10.2003 / 11.2003 / 12.2003 / 01.2004 / 02.2004 / 03.2004 / 04.2004 / 05.2004 / 06.2004 / 07.2004 / 08.2004 / 09.2004 / 10.2004 / 11.2004 / 12.2004 / 01.2005 / 02.2005 / 03.2005 / 04.2005 / 05.2005 / 06.2005 / 07.2005 / 08.2005 / 09.2005 / 10.2005 / 11.2005 / 12.2005 / 01.2006 / 02.2006 / 03.2006 / 04.2006 / 05.2006 / 06.2006 / 07.2006 / 08.2006 / 09.2006 / 10.2006 / 11.2006 / 12.2006 / 01.2007 / 02.2007 / 03.2007 / 04.2007 / 05.2007 / 06.2007 / 07.2007 / 08.2007 / 09.2007 / 10.2007 / 11.2007 / 12.2007 / 01.2008 / 02.2008 / 03.2008 / 04.2008 / 05.2008 / 06.2008 / 07.2008 / 08.2008 / 09.2008 / 10.2008 / 11.2008 / 12.2008 / 01.2009 / 02.2009 / 03.2009 / 04.2009 / 05.2009 / 06.2009 / 07.2009 / 08.2009 / 09.2009 / Factuality I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've got five nephews and two nieces. Quotatious "I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it." -Ryan Szrama "I'm trying to be regenerate." -Ivy Warriner "Pink is pink. Peach is not pink." -Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband "How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today." -John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate "I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People like that don't deserve to win it." -Michael Butterworth "I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many marriages I go through." -Katie Mohler "However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to you.'" -Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little incident which we do not name "He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety, but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get married for twelve more years?'" -Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father "So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka." -Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming "Ok, he walks loudly." -Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs" "Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas." -Ryan Szrama "I have a way with old women." -Josh Reid "Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It wasn't sweet, it was creepy." -Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't given "I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain." -Katie Mohler "Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped worrying about updating the score list." -Ryan Szrama, commenting on his alma mater's basketball team "What can go wrong on Appreciate a Dragon Day?" -Lori Wanman "Do you enjoy making people feel retarded? You behave like that is your job in life." -Jessica Cimato "Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?" -Peter Sieg "Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests." -Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months of pastoring at IBC have been "If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned marooned Moon." -Michael Jenkins "Can we call you 'Special Dark'?" -Stephen Mobley "Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip." -Me, on how to order water at Starbucks "It's you to an unsanctified T." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It's like a workout, having a conversation with you." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "I shot the French Press..." -Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff "Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!" -Off White "Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!" -Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend "It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in 4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it yet.'" -Catherine Huffman "It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since you took Geometry." -Peter Sieg, to me "You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we both blame your camera." -Catherine Huffman "You're going to die soon, anyway." -Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday "I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver." -Stephen Mobley "It's likely but unlikely." -Ben Hedrick "There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto." -Jessica Vaughn "The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'" -Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh "Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?" -Ben Hedrick "It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?" -Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know what car she drives?" "High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!" -Josh Reid "Man, she's finer than a frog hair!" -Josh Reid "I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'" -Heather Seagle "Where's my phone?" -Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone "Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I don't get kicked." -Me "Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a close call!" -Dana W "I don't want to see this on your blog." -Ryan Fullerton "John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle, here is his frown." -Ben Hedrick "Oh shutup, voicemail person!" -Stephen Mobley " 'P' as in 'purgatory.' " -Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call "You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry." -Stephen Mobley "Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than say, Katie Mohler." -Johanna Tollefson "You just called me a chunker!" -Christin Simpson "We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.' " -Peter Sieg "My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist." -Christin Simpson "How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' " -Christin Simpson "Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how he peed in worship, it confused me." -Katie Mohler "Yes, I'm precious and all that." -Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment "Do you have a numerical number for that?" -Stephen Mobley "I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that." -Peter Sieg "That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it." -Stephen Mobley "Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other non-contiguous U.S. states." -Stephen Mobley "In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time." -Christin Simpson "They never know whether to come out the front or the back." -Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes "I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'." -Andy Lowe "Could you translate that out of Letototian?" -Lauren Farmer "Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles moments lately." -Me "I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking." -Michael Butterworth "She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't big-boned, she was Hispanic." -Ryan Szrama "More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster." -Allison Poplin "Mmm, Chapstick!" -Allison Poplin "It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a headstand in a ditch." -Christin Simpson "The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is admitting I'm a stupid haole." -Christine Robertson "I said 'teached,' man!" -Christin Simpson "I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom." -Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly "Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!" -Thomas Amos "Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple years older.' " -Anonymous "He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!" -Me "Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear." -Dr. Mohler "I've got fans all over." -Lauren Farmer "I'm having my own personal hot flash right now." -Bobby House "Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is actually with a woman!" -Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog "Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of." -Pablo Butterworth "I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the Servant Towel award by taking me or something?" -Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet "I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all." -Christin Simpson "The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate." -Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream "Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!" -Amanda Ledbetter "I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier to understand." -Dr. Joslin, on women "One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active social life, or she's just fat." -Richard B. Hardison "You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly. Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that turns out." -Jon "Jew" Borofsky "Are you dressing Katie Mohler?" -R. Lauren Duncan "They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?" -Andrew "I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches." -Michael Butterworth "I really like the smell of gasoline." -Katie Mohler "You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out and take the elevator." -Bobby House "But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you." -Nick Crouse "Gomez, you're Hispanic?" -Matt Svoboda "'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?" -Lauren Farmer "You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke." -Moon Pie Godfrey "It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!" -Lauren Farmer "I've had the passion, I just need the purity." -Emily Dick "I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right? Letoto's going to be there!'" -Warren Kesselring "I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put on lots of flannel." -Ricky Hardison "You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?" -Sarah Cress "So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones." -Christin Simpson "I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks." -Emily O'Neal "I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time." -Taryn Walker "You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College." -Michael Butterworth "Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white." -Cole Harper "I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'" -Emily Dick "I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have boyish charm." -Jeff Pearson "If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart, it's a bad idea." -David Borreson "Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!" -Chriyus Davis "When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' " -Chriyus Davis "What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here." -Lauren Farmer "I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?" -Andrew, talking about his father's birthday. "What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?" -Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she went to look up what he meant "Stop flashing everyone!" -Carla "I didn't know I was going to see everything!" -Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth "Which would suck!" -Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in heaven...before his marriage "Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?" -Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes "I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a good tree to climb by Mullins." -Michael Butterworth "You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts." -Scott O'Neal "It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger." -Andrew "And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!" -Emily Dick "Is Scott the white-haired guy?" -Brandon Stern "The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I really hope I don't fart." -Kristy White "Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin." -Katy Cavaliere "I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs." -Andrew "Stretch" Holley "And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that." -Scott O'Neal "I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart." -Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo "I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people, why I wasn't married." -Christine Robertson "Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol' woman with a 'fro." -Chriyus Davis "Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think that's romantic." -Lauren Farmer "We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity." -Lauren Farmer "Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense, you may have hit the skin on the head." -Me, to Matt Teves "Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!" -Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning "Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot." -Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat "Who's the brown one?" -Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus "A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say or do is not a world I want to live in." -Michael Butterworth "Abby marches to the beat of her own flute." -Scott O'Neal "I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee." -Jennifer Miller "What's a 'good game'?" -Katie Mohler "Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I used to give myself french manicures with it." -R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper "It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails." -Trey Fuller "How do you think that small?" -Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting "I like to curl up in the bathroom." -Pablo Butterworth "I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's not a universal song, it's in a different language." -R. Lauren Duncan "We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!" -A.D. "I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place." -Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message "Sounds like a bladder control problem." -Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during dorm meeting "Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?" -Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey Cashell "So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward." -R. Lauren Duncan, about...something "Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!" -Boss "When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a different matter altogether." -Scott O'Neal "That's too much chocolate for you!" -Bobby House III "Dude, there's a lot of white people up here." -Kawika, on being in Indiana "This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp." -Sandi, on the sermons at their church "I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male." -Heidi Marlene Johnson "Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know, that ninja look." -Lisa, to me "You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!" -A certain manager at a certain store "He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count. You're right, he is the only guy we've got." -A certain coworker at a certain store. "She's the manliest girl I know." -Christina Thompson "Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're better looking than most of the guys here." -Nathan Fulllerton "Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed kids together." -Scott O'Neal "How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that Uch is off the market." -Goose "It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!" -Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate "I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'" -Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to take over the airsoft world "You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get Government Service out of John." -Goose "Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months." -Goose "Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!" -Boss "How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes." -Jeff Cavanaugh "Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk." -Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk "I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke." -Joel Gasparotto, to me "No. But several kids." -Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?" "I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..." -Me "I think these are unthawed." -Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken "You mean frozen?" -Matt Crawford, in response to Scott "Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!" -Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain Hawaiian "He's the closest thing to Black I got here!" -Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian was the most ethnically similar person at the camp "Nice body!" -Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball "I could take you...to a movie." -Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students present "It's my bladder!" -Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang "John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I." -Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or imagined) I have upon them "At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'" -Me "Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what I wrote up there." -Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger "Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day." -Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania "Did he sound winded?" -Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night... "Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!" -Boss "I don't do that, that would be too unmanly." -Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails "More of an acquired taste than kim chee." -Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music "That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed with Shirley Temples." -Christin Simpson "Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are odd' girl." -Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her blossoming reputation "Hurry, before the smears come out!" -Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall "All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait" -Andrew Strickland, while leading worship "She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her." -Lisa "I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better bed partner now." -R. Lauren Duncan "I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!" -One of the Brownies from Willow "I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!" -Same Brownie "Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!" -Drunk Brownie from Willow "No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher." -Gary "It's probably providential." -Chip Collins "One more wave." -Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air "Well basically..." -James McCray "I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground." -RAM, Jr. "If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing her away from all the decent guys." -Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away "Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome." -Dr. Mohler "Hey! How are you doing?" -Rob Smythe "I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in the bathroom!" -Boss "So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?" -Aaron Filippone "The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me." -Darren Thomas "Hairy in the face and chest?" -Me, in response to Darren "Oh, cuss word!" -Moon Pie "If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize." -Pablo Butterworth "These *are* my dress socks. They're clean." -Goose "Before the throne of God above..." -Jonathan Leeman...singing "I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane." -Michelle "Piss on a biscuit!" -Fritzy "I saw Toto, and he's black!" -R. Lauren Duncan "You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail." -Pablo Butterworth "I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there." -Jordan Cole "Can she have a man?" -Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie "I am irresistible to men..." -Poenie Tree "Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!" -AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite "Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?" -Tyler Ratliff "She shook his butt before she shook his hand!" -Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce "Would you look at that BUTT?" -Pablo Butterworth "It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards." -Pablo Butterworth "He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us, sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives or anything.)" -Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce "Paul, I think we should mate." -Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of Psychiatrist "You're classic, not metro." -Elizabeth Foster "I need ocean." -Me "Oh, I have some!" -R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me "Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two completely different things." -Dr. Draper "The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!" -Chris...something "I hated you when I first met you." -Scott O'Neal "Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..." -Pablo Butterworth "Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going to die teaching and I want to be there for it." -Pablo Butterworth "I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise." -Pablo Butterworth "I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out." -Michael Butterworth "I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive." -Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth "Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How did you become sexy?' " -Pablo Butterworth "Stop vacuuming my crack!" -Chris Sellers "That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any taller..." -Melissa Hermoso "You smell like my mom!" -Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "It's Allure for *men*, people!" -Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!" -Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair "We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down." -Michael Butterworth "I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials." -Billy Reddick "You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder." -Kristina Pelhank, to me "I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen, and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen floor.' " -Pablo Butterworth "You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into trouble, and yours gets you out of it." -Aaron Coffey, to me "The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing." -Michael Butterworth "Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!" -Sarah El-Masri "I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play XBox all night long, baby!" -Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit "Please stalk me at your earliest convienence." -Sarah Cress "There's a two year-old flirting with me!" -Ashlea Davenport "I used to have a neck, then something happened." -Bobby House "Can I buy three blacks from you?" -Pablo Butterworth "Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep." -Chip Collins "You're the ugly girl!" -Candace Boyd "No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!" -Scott O'Neal and me "I grew up with that but in Spanish." -Liz Mejia "One day the three of us will be married!" -R. Lauren Duncan "We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And, he was BIG!" -Matty Teves "Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's right...............the Holy Spirit." -Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something "That's a good length, that's pettable." -R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head "There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size." -Kristy Miller "Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!" -Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball "Mr. Herringbone understands." -Katie Mohler "Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?" -Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by Katie Mohler "Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type in, 'butt,' and you come up." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "The chocolate chip in the cookie." -Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our family "I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk." -Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8 white guys "I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!" -Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere "So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking and it startled me." -Sarah Cress "Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Jane!" -Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan "I went sniffing once." -Katie Mohler "Can you use that in a definition?" -Sarah Cress "Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's shopping again." -R. Lauren Duncan "They had her fork here and I ate it." -R. Lauren Duncan "What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Every outfit you wear is a statement." -Scott O'Neal "Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?" -Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at Southeast Christian Church "He likes to sit in my drawers." -R. Lauren Duncan "It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate." -James Losey, about me "I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!" -Heidi Marlene Johnson "I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus." -Me "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in that order." -Pablo Butterworth "I eat soap for breakfast." -Sarah Cress "I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway." -Rob Smythe "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." -Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects "Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something." -Janal Prybys "More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing." -Pablo Butterworth "I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock." -Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish "This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high." -Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person "Hold me like you used to." -Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated "This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably retarded." -Jessica Cimato "And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash." -Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood "Oh, I love that movie!" -Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson "They have male stores?" -Katie Mohler "She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal." -R. Lauren Duncan "You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook." -Michael Butterworth "Yes, it's my purse." -James Losey "There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has been inflicted with The Terror!" -Kristina Pelhank "You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk away, but for some strange reason, I can't." -Sarah Cress "John gave me a good wedgie." -Pablo Butterworth "I won't say whoooole falsehoods..." -Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok "I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet." -Michael Butterworth "God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love." -Michael Butterworth "This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you." -Rob Smythe "Next year you'll be in the zoo." -Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey "I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up undergrad chicks, too." -Michael Butterworth "I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those blue nasty ones." -R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman, when speaking of it being blue and nasty "Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?" -R. Lauren Duncan "May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much', because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day." -Jessica Cimato "'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly." -R. Lauren Duncan "I have some ligament in the car." -R. Lauren Duncan "I lost it from all the throwing up I did." -R. Lauren Duncan "He's a Filipino knockoff!" -David Brandt, commenting on me "No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!" -Chris Sellers "You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?" -Sarah El-Masri, to me "You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about girls, you're never going to get married." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's older than you." -Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer "She's not the kind of guy you'd go for." -Me "I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow." -Jessica Cimato, to me "From this angle, I can see everything!" -Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt "Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?" -R. Lauren Duncan, to me "If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer." -Pablo Butterworth "You are not going to put that on Facebook!" -Pablo Butterworth "I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts." -Nick Crouse "They're *macadamia* nuts!" -Ryan Travis "Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They charge you nine dollars an hour!" -Brian Buck "Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?" -Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage Hall "Are you ok? I just wet my pants." -R. Lauren Duncan "I just want to marry a pastor." -Blind Brandon