Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



The other night, I was talking with Smythe. I told him that often times, I'm prone to focus on the hard stuff of life - the pain, the struggles, the things that make me go, "daaaaaaaaaaangit! Won't I ever learn?" I said that while it's good to stare our failures in the face, there's also something to be said for taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture. He and I can tend to get caught up in horrors of the World, and we rant about how we just want to die and be with Jesus because, quite frankly, we feel the transience and depravity of our own flesh.

What came to mind was a cloud. In the dark of night, with no moonlight, you don't recognize the cloud. You don't see it, and you don't really think about it. The only thing that might tell you that there's a cloud overhead is if you look up and notice that the stars aren't present the way that they should be. Other than that, however, the cloud goes unnoticed. Right at about sunset, however, things are different. I love to watch sunsets; I was quite tempted to skip class on Monday just to sit and watch one (we had 70 degree weather that day...*sigh*). When I see one, my eyes are drawn to soak in the horizon as it slowly envelops the glowing sun, all the way to the point where the last burning point of orange disappears for the day. Sometimes, though, the clouds get in the way. I told Rob that it's easy to focus so much on the fact that the clouds are in the way of the sun. Yet, that'd be foolish! The clouds, in their own way, make the sunset so much more incredible to behold. Though they hide the sun from my view, the clouds engage in an incredible interaction with the sun's rays, and I see the sunlight play upon the tiny tendrils of moisture in such a way that they create a canopy of orange, yellow, red, blue, purple, and pink. Other than on Filipino ladies, those colors are never seen together ;) And believe me, they look much better on the sunset sky than they do on those ladies!

In much the same way, the Lord interacts with our sinful nature in such a way that He creates a beautiful panorama of His grace in our lives. We can focus on the things that we do that seem to block our view of Him, or we can take a step back and see how He sovereignly works to pierce through the clouds in our lives to shine forth His light. Sometimes, I forget to do that. Often, I get so bummed by my sin and the lostness of this world; while there's a healthy place for Godly sorrow, we must remember to keep it "Godly," and not lose sight of the cross in the midst of our sinful lives.

I wonder sometimes if I'm really growing. I wonder if this is all a farce, if I'm really doing what He wants me to. I wonder if, in my flesh, I'll just wake up one day and find I've utterly failed. You know, that very well may be the case. Yet, even if it is, I trust that my God will use my failure to paint His glory in ever more brilliant colors upon this canvas I call life.

posted by Bolo | 11:41 PM
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