3.31.2007
Diotegap?
We were almost at the end of the Scrabble game, and Emil was down by a bunch. He decided that the only way he could possibly come back was to use up all seven of his tiles at once, thus getting the fifty-point bonus. The problem with that? Well, let's just say that his outlook wasn't entirely realistic, as the list of desperation words included: tigadope; diotegap; dietogap; and dogatipe. Look 'em up all you want, but you won't find them in any respectable dictionary. I won't detail what the final score was, but suffice it to say, I was greatly amused. Until next time, Scrabble on!
posted by Bolo |
12:59 AM
1 speakage
Ballin'
For Gary, Kev, 'Drew, and all you oddah buggahs who would be tempted to drool: check this out.
posted by Bolo |
12:45 AM
1 speakage
3.30.2007
Hmmm?
I'm playing Scrabble with Emil as I type out this post. This is the second game for us tonight, the first being played in Heine Brothers on Frankfort until they closed for the evening. The day as a whole was enjoyable, most likely because it was filled with little things that made the day worthwhile.
Earlier, I hit the volleyball around with Patrick. Since the gym closed early for Parents' Night out, we couldn't get a game together like we'd planned to, so the two of us just peppered a little until we were bent over at our waists, sucking wind and sweating like two old guys hitting a volleyball around.
Yeah, baby, I just formed three words in one fell placement. Twenty-three points. Sweet.
Had a good conversation with that other ethnically minor John earlier this evening. I'm somewhat inclined to blog the contents of that rather lengthy dialogue, but I don't think that I will. Suffice it to say that it's got me thinking and re-thinking some things...and...well...we'll see.
Emil's stuck. He just said, "I don't know." Hah. He's gonna bust a blood vessel soon.
Uh-oh. He just called me Big Boy. I don't know what that means, but it sounded somewhat strange. Hmmm...
posted by Bolo |
11:55 PM
0 speakage
3.29.2007
Discus!
Frisbee at Waterfront, 4 and 9 PM. Go to it, kids.
posted by Bolo |
2:51 PM
1 speakage
3.28.2007
Thoughts
The Ryherds might be coming into town tomorrow morning. Sweet. As I was eating grapes the other day, I thought to myself, "4023." The J-Bowl should look lovely by the middle of May. For married women looking to bear children, apply for secretarial positions at Southern Seminary's Admissions office. Na promotions just got kicked up a notch on campus; check the Towers to see. Chatted with Mr. Mikami the other night, the first time since...oh...I don't know. Speaking of which, I haven't actually talked with Boss or 'Drew since...oh boy...a significantly paler moment in my skin's history.
posted by Bolo |
5:25 PM
1 speakage
3.27.2007
Why We're Saved
Today's chapel was one that has been much anticipated. Dr. John Piper preached to us, the students, staff, and faculty of Southern Seminary and Boyce College, and many others, from 2 Corinthians. As I pondered the implications of the word he preached to us, I was reminded of Paul's writing to the Ephesians. In that letter, Paul tells his readers that God "predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace." Later, he also says that God "raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus."
We were saved to praise the glory of His grace, and in the ages to come, that grace will be shown to us as being surpassingly rich. Said differently, the grace, the very reason for which we praise Him, will be revealed to us more and more and more forever, which means that we'll never lack for a reason to praise Him.
Ever.
But what of right now? Yes, even now. The joy of faith that Dr. Piper spoke of was not a joy that will be experienced only in heaven. Rather, it is a joy that has begun even now, even in this world of sin and shame, a world fraught with humanity's sad and tragic plight, a veritable blight on God's glorious creation. The joy of faith spoken of is a joy that causes me to ask, "Is God really that good? Is His mercy really true?" I wonder and I doubt because I find so often that my joy is a bitter facade, a fleeting emotion based not on Christ's mercy, but on how I think I feel.
As I thought about God's mercy, His grace to us in Christ, I realized anew that if there's ever any reason for me to smile, ever any reason for me to be happy, ever any reason to even look forward to my next breath, it is because of God's mercy toward me in His beloved Son. That and that alone is why I wake in the morning, why I desire breath, why I desire life, and why I do not fear death. It is why I will, forevermore, praise Him to the glory of His grace.
posted by Bolo |
2:36 PM
2 speakage
3.26.2007
Boyce Baboozes
posted by Bolo |
7:57 PM
3 speakage
Word
1 Chronicles 17:16 - 27 Then David the king went in and sat before the LORD and said, "Who am I, O LORD God, and what is my house that You have brought me this far? This was a small thing in Your eyes, O God; but You have spoken of Your servant's house for a great while to come and have regarded me according to the standard of a man of high degree, O LORD God. What more can David still say to You concerning the honor bestowed on Your servant? For You know Your servant. O LORD, for Your servant's sake, and according to Your own heart, You have wrought all this greatness, to make known all these great things. O LORD, there is none like You, nor is there any God besides You, according to all that we have heard with our ears. And what one nation in the earth is like Your people Israel, whom God went to redeem for Himself as a people, to make You a name by great and terrible things, in driving out nations from before your people, whom You redeemed out of Egypt? For Your people Israel You made Your own people forever, and You, O LORD, became their God. Now, O LORD, let the word that You have spoken concerning Your servant and concerning his house be established forever, and do as You have spoken. Let Your name be established and magnified forever, saying, 'The LORD of hosts is the God of Israel, even a God to Israel; and the house of David Your servant is established before You.' For You, O my God, have revealed to Your servant that You will build for him a house; therefore Your servant has found courage to pray before You. Now, O LORD, You are God, and have promised this good thing to Your servant. And now it has pleased You to bless the house of Your servant, that it may continue before You; for You, O LORD, have blessed, and it is blessed forever."
Two quick observations. One, David is incredibly grateful. This reflects his clear and true apprehension and comprehension of who God is and how He is communicating Himself to His people. Accordingly, David exults in his God in this prayer, recognizing that God is merciful, humble, sovereign, holy...in short, David is exulting truly in the LORD! Two, this house that David speaks of, a house that the LORD Himself has established, is a house that I myself am a part of. This house is large, and it is blessed, for it exists forever, and for God's own glory, established by His own hand.
posted by Bolo |
10:43 AM
1 speakage
3.25.2007
Do the Dew
I dig this picture kind of a lot. I think it's because of all the dew on the grass. If you click on the picture and check out the large version, the detail of some of the water droplets on the grass is pretty cool.
posted by Bolo |
9:47 PM
1 speakage
Ambassadorial Appeal
posted by Bolo |
9:53 AM
0 speakage
Guys Night
I freely admit it: Emil was Vibing.
posted by Bolo |
1:07 AM
0 speakage
3.24.2007
Linkage
Desktop Tower Defense! Heck yeah!
Hahahahahahaha!!! "Sweet balut, sweet balut..."
Yeah, you know some people take this stuff way too seriously. After all, everyone knows that Eru would pretty much dominate.
Send me a message. I know you want to :)
Social awkwardness just got organized.
posted by Bolo |
6:25 PM
0 speakage
Rapscallion Reflection
Know what I'm thinking? It's a Jack kind of afternoon. Even though I don't think I qualify for the title character in A Pirate Looks at Forty, if he wrote a song entitled A Rascal Looks at Thirty, I'd be all over it.
posted by Bolo |
5:49 PM
0 speakage
Springy
posted by Bolo |
8:24 AM
2 speakage
Thoughts
Barry Manilow's Mandy may be about a dog, but Weekend in New England isn't. That sort of reminds me of how Kalapana's Juliette is about a clock radio. Pulling off Nick Crouse's name tag is one of my new hobbies. I can't believe Dr. Mohler let me hold that thing...amazing! That pair of shoes would officially be classified as driving loafers, thank you very much. Yes, I listen to Barry Manilow. Ten bucks says that Scott Davis will say something to poke fun at me in his presentation tomorrow; I think that's one of his new hobbies. My brother's now 34. When he turned 30, it was a little more fun to poke fun at him, 'cause I was still...well...younger than he was. But now, his turning 34 only reminds me that I'm going to be coming face to face with 30 soon. 30!!! Goodness gracious, where did the time go? Speaking of brothers, who knew that Rev's sister could play frisbee like that? There's nothing quite like Sinatra to make you feel like a classy guy as you untie your tie or undo your cuff links.
posted by Bolo |
12:45 AM
3 speakage
3.23.2007
*Groan*
Well, day one of Preview Weekend is done. I'm grateful it's done, too, very grateful, 'cause I'm worn out, tired, and very much in need of rest. Lots and lots of rest. Unfortunately, I won't get it in plenty until sometime tomorrow evening. Oh well, that's what we're here for, right?
posted by Bolo |
11:54 PM
0 speakage
It's Here
Preview Weekend is here. I'm awake. I'm almost out the door. *Yawn*.
posted by Bolo |
7:02 AM
0 speakage
3.22.2007
Midnight Madness
So it's nearly midnight. That means two things: Preview Weekend is just about here, and I have one minute to call my brother and wish him a happy birthday.
posted by Bolo |
11:59 PM
0 speakage
Recent Retinal Recognition
posted by Bolo |
10:02 AM
0 speakage
3.21.2007
Bobby's Booboo From the Booty
Never thought I'd see the day when I'd get a confession like this on video. Then again, it is me we're talking about...
posted by Bolo |
10:25 PM
2 speakage
No Duckling
I often find that I feel like the ugly duckling. The ugly duckling, as the tale goes, was quite distraught that he did not look like all of the other ducklings. He was mocked, scorned, and made to feel left out. It was not until a bevy of swans told him otherwise that the ugly duckling realized that he was not a duck at all, but a swan.
The life of the Christian is often similar. I forget what I am, and why I am what I am: a child of God; one counted as righteous in the sight of the holy judge; one in whom God delights; one who has been bought with precious blood, the precious blood of the Lamb of God; one in whom the Father cannot help but see the glory of His Son; a sinner saved by grace; one who longs for the day when he will see his Savior, the Savior that longs for the same; one whom God has redeemed to walk in righteous works, works that He has prepared beforehand; one sealed with the Holy Spirit; a sinner who still longs to be finally and fully free of sin.
Please realize that when I speak of feeling like an ugly duckling, I'm not making some sort of vain analogy. My point is that I'm saturated in an environment that tells me I'm something I'm not, and while I am a new creation in Christ, it's very, very, very easy for me to forget the truth. It's very, very, very easy for me to live as though Christ never died, and to forget the beautiful redemption that is mine in Him. The bible tells us that the Holy Spirit grieves over our sin; I can only begin to imagine the sorrow the infinite and almighty God that has loved me from all eternity feels over the slightest turning away of my heart from His passionate grace.
Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the LORD, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.
posted by Bolo |
5:49 PM
0 speakage
Kiddies
My niece had her first birthday party this weekend. All of her cousins on her mommy's side were there, too. Unfortunately, her Uncle Johnny wasn't :/ Man, I tell you...those little rugrats sure do grow quickly!
posted by Bolo |
8:05 AM
3 speakage
3.20.2007
Smytheman Speaks
There are several reasons why I love Rob Smythe. This isn't necessarily one of them.
posted by Bolo |
11:23 PM
0 speakage
Lookin' Up
posted by Bolo |
11:49 AM
0 speakage
Suckage
Ok. This stinks. Just wrote out a long post, then Firefox decided to crash. That little "recover post" thing did absolutely nothing for me.
Yeah.
posted by Bolo |
1:17 AM
1 speakage
3.19.2007
Acquisitional Accounting
Free food is awesome. The list of freely and graciously given sustenance for the day includes: a tuna sandwich from Founders', a bottle of Powerade, two one serving thingies of cereal, a pint of milk, several fries from whatshisface in the cafeteria, a bowl of some sort of microwaveable ramen noodles, most of Stirsman's leftover ice cream, and two cookies from Connie Vanderpool by way of Doug Thorpe. Oh, can't forget the cookie from Simpson, either. I tell you...few things make me happy the way free food will. Nothing to go totally nuts over, but still, it's the small ways that God provides that make me happy about the big things.
posted by Bolo |
11:42 PM
0 speakage
Objectively Speaking
posted by Bolo |
12:03 PM
0 speakage
3.18.2007
Thoughts
Becoming a member at IBC can involve covenantal blood; just ask Ashlea. Despite what Douglas thinks, it was not "eight or nine," merely two. I think that the Scrabble league I mentioned at the beginning of the school year would be wonderful through the summer. If I had a million dollars, I wouldn't buy a new car, I'd buy more surf stickers to go on my old Camry. I think the next two weeks' sermons will be quite interesting, and I really would not have to want to stand and be...uhhh...singled out. For some reason, we were talking about balut tonight while playing Scrabble. Of course, that made me think about the song, Sweet Balut.
posted by Bolo |
11:58 PM
3 speakage
Observations
You know you're suffering from some sort of mental instability when, upon seeing I-64 on the returning leg of a road trip, you exclaim aloud your affection for the long-missed stretch of road, an affection seemingly borne of many hours spent driving, driving, and driving, but actually indicating mental instability of some nature. This can be confirmed when, upon seeing the "Welcome to Kentucky" sign while entering the Bluegrass State on I-64, you launch into a similarly jubilant expression evoking your nearly inexpressible joy upon returning to the state of your residence. Of course, I'm not saying that I actually suffered from such an instability! I was, after all, merely observing that that instability must be the cause for such an abnormal affection. Yup. Just making an observation.
Mr. Mikami. Since you last updated your blog, the following has happened: I've been in five different states, was a mere two miles or so from a sixth, met my niece, saw the Atlantic Ocean, saw Dan DeWitt three times (which is a lot), endured weather ranging from somewhere near zero all the way to the wonderful eighties, had Jon Field call me without prior provocation from me, got Scott into some sort of trouble with Emily at least ten times, and even acquired another nickname. Perhaps most telling, however, is the fact that our beloved Mr. Uchida has updated his blog eight times since your last post. Just thought you might want to know.
posted by Bolo |
9:40 AM
0 speakage
Scrabbled & Checkmated at Sunergos
Butterworth the Younger had, among other stings, a come-from-behind Scrabble victory placed into his lap. This came on the heels of Michael's comment, "I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches." Is he referring to Dubya or to Dr. M? One wonders, especially after he started out the game with his first word being particularly...oh...astounding. Twice, in fact. I, on the other hand, while not obtaining satisfaction in Scrabble, felt the sweet thrill of an unlikely but swiftly orchestrated checkmate at young Joel's expense. Aaahhh, good times at Sunergos.
posted by Bolo |
1:53 AM
2 speakage
3.17.2007
Hymnal
Alas and did my savior bleed And did my Sovereign die? Would He devote that sacred head For such a worm as I?
Thy body slain, sweet Jesus, Thine— And bathed in its own blood— While the firm mark of wrath divine, His Soul in anguish stood.
Was it for crimes that I had done He groaned upon the tree? Amazing pity! grace unknown! And love beyond degree!
Well might the sun in darkness hide And shut his glories in, When Christ, the mighty Maker died, For man the creature’s sin.
Thus might I hide my blushing face While His dear cross appears, Dissolve my heart in thankfulness, And melt my eyes to tears.
But drops of grief can ne’er repay The debt of love I owe: Here, Lord, I give my self away ’Tis all that I can do.
It's been 300 years since Isaac Watts gave the world those words. I find it nothing short of amazing grace that I, another mere worm, should be able to read those words these centuries later and hear the knell of Christ's death ring true yet again: "Well might the sun in darkness hide and shut his glories in, when Christ, the mighty Maker died, for man the creature’s sin. Thus might I hide my blushing face while His dear cross appears, dissolve my heart in thankfulness, and melt my eyes to tears." Far too often I find myself unblushing, thankless, and tearless before my Lord, my Savior. Far too often, I seek some other solution to my sin, finding my affection for my Savior lacking. Yet, it is not that He is lacking in salvation, but that I lack in seeking such a wonderful sufficiency in Him! What else could I possibly want, that I do not already have? What else could I possibly desire, that He has not promised? What else could I hope in, that He has not already fulfilled or will fulfill? And why all of this? Because He loved me, and died for me.
posted by Bolo |
4:56 PM
0 speakage
3.16.2007
Makana's Meandering
My cute little niece has seen fit to jaunt toward the extreme ends of the her country, going from Arizona all the way to visit her daddy's family in New England. It's a tad bit colder than she's used to, but I think her daddy was a little excited to make the trip. Want proof? See below. Of course, that's not to say that mommy's family is left out of the equation, either, as they're going to be celebrating Makana's first birthday this time tomorrow in Hawai'i. Cool beans.
posted by Bolo |
10:45 PM
3 speakage
Dell
Coupons
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Daily |
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Coffee
Sweet Maria's
James Hoffmann
Theologous
Desiring God Ministries
Monergism
Discerning Reader
Albert Mohler, Jr.
Russell Moore
9 Marks
Play
Jock
Think
Laugh
Foxtrot
User Friendly
Learn
National Geographic
Geek out. Again.
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Read |
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Paint
Prayer
Pleasures
Commune
Galactic
Wabbit
Great
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Listen |
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Jack
Finished
Discover
Tones
of Fleck
Step
In the Arms
Smashing
Thinking
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Visualize |
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Facebook
Albums (Updated 3/21/2007)
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Blogging Buddies |
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Homeage
Gary
Uch
Boss
Kev
Goose
Mark
Rich
Sanchez
Mon &
Dave
Leo
Barb
Brit
The 'Villeage
O'Neals
Jim
Hilliard
Pablo
Butterworth
the Younger
Nikki
Lefty
Ashlea
Parris
Cavies
Calvinaugh
Weenie
& Elizabeth
Owen
T4G
Tim
Bob
Josh
Christman
Szrama
Ryherd
Brandt
Hutch
FYI
FYI TV
CMac
Maiden
Dana
Dubya
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Old School |
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Memories
Faith...
Wonder...
Empty
Snaps
Manna
The
Misses
Character
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Me |
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Me
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Bug Me |
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smeagolisfree@gmail.com
AIM: MrToto2U
Facebook
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Yore |
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Factuality |
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I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've
got five nephews and two nieces.
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Quotatious |
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"I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it."
-Ryan Szrama
"I'm trying to be regenerate."
-Ivy Warriner
"Pink is pink. Peach is not pink."
-Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband
"How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today."
-John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate
"I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People
like that don't deserve to win it."
-Michael Butterworth
"I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many
marriages I go through."
-Katie Mohler
"However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told
him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to
you.'"
-Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little
incident which we do not name
"He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth
wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety,
but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get
married for twelve more years?'"
-Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father
"So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka."
-Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming
"Ok, he walks loudly."
-Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs"
"Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas."
-Ryan Szrama
"I have a way with old women."
-Josh Reid
"Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady."
-Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey
"It wasn't sweet, it was creepy."
-Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't
given
"I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain."
-Katie Mohler
"Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped
worrying about updating the score list."
-Ryan Szrama, commenting on his alma mater's basketball team
"What can go wrong on Appreciate a Dragon Day?"
-Lori Wanman
"Do you enjoy making people feel retarded? You behave like that is
your job in life."
-Jessica Cimato
"Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?"
-Peter Sieg
"Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests."
-Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months
of pastoring at IBC have been
"If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned
marooned Moon."
-Michael Jenkins
"Can we call you 'Special Dark'?"
-Stephen Mobley
"Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip."
-Me, on how to order water at Starbucks
"It's you to an unsanctified T."
-Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey
"It's like a workout, having a conversation with you."
-Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey
"I shot the French Press..."
-Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff
"Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck
thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!"
-Off White
"Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!"
-Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend
"It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in
4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's
what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it
yet.'"
-Catherine Huffman
"It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since
you took Geometry."
-Peter Sieg, to me
"You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks
totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that
you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John
Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we
both blame your camera."
-Catherine Huffman
"You're going to die soon, anyway."
-Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday
"I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver."
-Stephen Mobley
"It's likely but unlikely."
-Ben Hedrick
"There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto."
-Jessica Vaughn
"The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'"
-Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh
"Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?"
-Ben Hedrick
"It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?"
-Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know
what car she drives?"
"High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!"
-Josh Reid
"Man, she's finer than a frog hair!"
-Josh Reid
"I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'"
-Heather Seagle
"Where's my phone?"
-Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone
"Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I
don't get kicked."
-Me
"Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or
whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd
probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a
close call!"
-Dana W
"I don't want to see this on your blog."
-Ryan Fullerton
"John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle,
here is his frown."
-Ben Hedrick
"Oh shutup, voicemail person!"
-Stephen Mobley
" 'P' as in 'purgatory.' "
-Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call
"You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry."
-Stephen Mobley
"Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than
say, Katie Mohler."
-Johanna Tollefson
"You just called me a chunker!"
-Christin Simpson
"We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in
Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's
food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.'
"
-Peter Sieg
"My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist."
-Christin Simpson
"How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' "
-Christin Simpson
"Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how
he peed in worship, it confused me."
-Katie Mohler
"Yes, I'm precious and all that."
-Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment
"Do you have a numerical number for that?"
-Stephen Mobley
"I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's
buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that."
-Peter Sieg
"That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it."
-Stephen Mobley
"Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other
non-contiguous U.S. states."
-Stephen Mobley
"In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time."
-Christin Simpson
"They never know whether to come out the front or the back."
-Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes
"I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'."
-Andy Lowe
"Could you translate that out of Letototian?"
-Lauren Farmer
"Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles
moments lately."
-Me
"I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking."
-Michael Butterworth
"She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't
big-boned, she was Hispanic."
-Ryan Szrama
"More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster."
-Allison Poplin
"Mmm, Chapstick!"
-Allison Poplin
"It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a
headstand in a ditch."
-Christin Simpson
"The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is
admitting I'm a stupid haole."
-Christine Robertson
"I said 'teached,' man!"
-Christin Simpson
"I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom."
-Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly
"Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!"
-Thomas Amos
"Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple
years older.' "
-Anonymous
"He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!"
-Me
"Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear."
-Dr. Mohler
"I've got fans all over."
-Lauren Farmer
"I'm having my own personal hot flash right now."
-Bobby House
"Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is
actually with a woman!"
-Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog
"Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the
Servant Towel award by taking me or something?"
-Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet
"I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all."
-Christin Simpson
"The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate."
-Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream
"Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!"
-Amanda Ledbetter
"I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier
to understand."
-Dr. Joslin, on women
"One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active
social life, or she's just fat."
-Richard B. Hardison
"You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly.
Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that
turns out."
-Jon "Jew" Borofsky
"Are you dressing Katie Mohler?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?"
-Andrew
"I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches."
-Michael Butterworth
"I really like the smell of gasoline."
-Katie Mohler
"You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out
and take the elevator."
-Bobby House
"But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you."
-Nick Crouse
"Gomez, you're Hispanic?"
-Matt Svoboda
"'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?"
-Lauren Farmer
"You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke."
-Moon Pie Godfrey
"It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!"
-Lauren Farmer
"I've had the passion, I just need the purity."
-Emily Dick
"I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right?
Letoto's going to be there!'"
-Warren Kesselring
"I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put
on lots of flannel."
-Ricky Hardison
"You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?"
-Sarah Cress
"So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones."
-Christin Simpson
"I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without
asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks."
-Emily O'Neal
"I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time."
-Taryn Walker
"You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to
bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College."
-Michael Butterworth
"Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white."
-Cole Harper
"I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'"
-Emily Dick
"I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have
boyish charm."
-Jeff Pearson
"If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart,
it's a bad idea."
-David Borreson
"Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!"
-Chriyus Davis
"When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to
myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' "
-Chriyus Davis
"What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here."
-Lauren Farmer
"I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?"
-Andrew, talking about his father's birthday.
"What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?"
-Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she
went to look up what he meant
"Stop flashing everyone!"
-Carla
"I didn't know I was going to see everything!"
-Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth
"Which would suck!"
-Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in
heaven...before his marriage
"Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?"
-Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes
"I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a
good tree to climb by Mullins."
-Michael Butterworth
"You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts."
-Scott O'Neal
"It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or
maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger."
-Andrew
"And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!"
-Emily Dick
"Is Scott the white-haired guy?"
-Brandon Stern
"The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I
really hope I don't fart."
-Kristy White
"Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin."
-Katy Cavaliere
"I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs."
-Andrew "Stretch" Holley
"And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that."
-Scott O'Neal
"I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart."
-Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo
"I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people,
why I wasn't married."
-Christine Robertson
"Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol'
woman with a 'fro."
-Chriyus Davis
"Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think
that's romantic."
-Lauren Farmer
"We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity."
-Lauren Farmer
"Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached
toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense,
you may have hit the skin on the head."
-Me, to Matt Teves
"Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!"
-Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning
"Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake
you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot."
-Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat
"Who's the brown one?"
-Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain
brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus
"A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say
or do is not a world I want to live in."
-Michael Butterworth
"Abby marches to the beat of her own flute."
-Scott O'Neal
"I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I
could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee."
-Jennifer Miller
"What's a 'good game'?"
-Katie Mohler
"Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I
used to give myself french manicures with it."
-R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper
"It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails."
-Trey Fuller
"How do you think that small?"
-Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting
"I like to curl up in the bathroom."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's
not a universal song, it's in a different language."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!"
-A.D.
"I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place."
-Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message
"Sounds like a bladder control problem."
-Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during
dorm meeting
"Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?"
-Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey
Cashell
"So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward."
-R. Lauren Duncan, about...something
"Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!"
-Boss
"When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but
when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a
different matter altogether."
-Scott O'Neal
"That's too much chocolate for you!"
-Bobby House III
"Dude, there's a lot of white people up here."
-Kawika, on being in Indiana
"This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp."
-Sandi, on the sermons at their church
"I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male."
-Heidi Marlene Johnson
"Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he
had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know,
that ninja look."
-Lisa, to me
"You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!"
-A certain manager at a certain store
"He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count.
You're right, he is the only guy we've got."
-A certain coworker at a certain store.
"She's the manliest girl I know."
-Christina Thompson
"Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy
than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're
better looking than most of the guys here."
-Nathan Fulllerton
"Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed
kids together."
-Scott O'Neal
"How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that
Uch is off the market."
-Goose
"It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!"
-Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate
"I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'"
-Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to
take over the airsoft world
"You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get
Government Service out of John."
-Goose
"Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months."
-Goose
"Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!"
-Boss
"How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to
SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes."
-Jeff Cavanaugh
"Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk."
-Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk
"I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke."
-Joel Gasparotto, to me
"No. But several kids."
-Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?"
"I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all
sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..."
-Me
"I think these are unthawed."
-Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken
"You mean frozen?"
-Matt Crawford, in response to Scott
"Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!"
-Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud
out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain
Hawaiian
"He's the closest thing to Black I got here!"
-Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian
was the most ethnically similar person at the camp
"Nice body!"
-Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they
collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball
"I could take you...to a movie."
-Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was
explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students
present
"It's my bladder!"
-Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang
"John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I."
-Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and
impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or
imagined) I have upon them
"At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will
Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding
stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to
watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly
assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that
into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'"
-Me
"Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm
asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books
off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT
asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what
I wrote up there."
-Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger
"Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day."
-Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania
"Did he sound winded?"
-Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night...
"Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!"
-Boss
"I don't do that, that would be too unmanly."
-Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails
"More of an acquired taste than kim chee."
-Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music
"That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed
with Shirley Temples."
-Christin Simpson
"Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are
odd' girl."
-Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her
blossoming reputation
"Hurry, before the smears come out!"
-Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall
"All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait"
-Andrew Strickland, while leading worship
"She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her."
-Lisa
"I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better
bed partner now."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!"
-One of the Brownies from Willow
"I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!"
-Same Brownie
"Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!"
-Drunk Brownie from Willow
"No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher."
-Gary
"It's probably providential."
-Chip Collins
"One more wave."
-Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air
"Well basically..."
-James McCray
"I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground."
-RAM, Jr.
"If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing
her away from all the decent guys."
-Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away
"Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome."
-Dr. Mohler
"Hey! How are you doing?"
-Rob Smythe
"I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand
on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in
the bathroom!"
-Boss
"So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?"
-Aaron Filippone
"The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me."
-Darren Thomas
"Hairy in the face and chest?"
-Me, in response to Darren
"Oh, cuss word!"
-Moon Pie
"If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute
long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize."
-Pablo Butterworth
"These *are* my dress socks. They're clean."
-Goose
"Before the throne of God above..."
-Jonathan Leeman...singing
"I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane."
-Michelle
"Piss on a biscuit!"
-Fritzy
"I saw Toto, and he's black!"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be
laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there."
-Jordan Cole
"Can she have a man?"
-Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie
"I am irresistible to men..."
-Poenie Tree
"Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!"
-AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite
"Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?"
-Tyler Ratliff
"She shook his butt before she shook his hand!"
-Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce
"Would you look at that BUTT?"
-Pablo Butterworth
"It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards."
-Pablo Butterworth
"He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us,
sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you
would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives
or anything.)"
-Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce
"Paul, I think we should mate."
-Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of
Psychiatrist
"You're classic, not metro."
-Elizabeth Foster
"I need ocean."
-Me
"Oh, I have some!"
-R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me
"Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two
completely different things."
-Dr. Draper
"The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!"
-Chris...something
"I hated you when I first met you."
-Scott O'Neal
"Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..."
-Pablo Butterworth
"Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going
to die teaching and I want to be there for it."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out."
-Michael Butterworth
"I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive."
-Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth
"Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How
did you become sexy?' "
-Pablo Butterworth
"Stop vacuuming my crack!"
-Chris Sellers
"That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any
taller..."
-Melissa Hermoso
"You smell like my mom!"
-Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild
"It's Allure for *men*, people!"
-Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild
"Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!"
-Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair
"We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down."
-Michael Butterworth
"I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials."
-Billy Reddick
"You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder."
-Kristina Pelhank, to me
"I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen,
and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it
breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen
floor.' "
-Pablo Butterworth
"You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into
trouble, and yours gets you out of it."
-Aaron Coffey, to me
"The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their
elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing."
-Michael Butterworth
"Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!"
-Sarah El-Masri
"I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone
there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop
together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play
XBox all night long, baby!"
-Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit
"Please stalk me at your earliest convienence."
-Sarah Cress
"There's a two year-old flirting with me!"
-Ashlea Davenport
"I used to have a neck, then something happened."
-Bobby House
"Can I buy three blacks from you?"
-Pablo Butterworth
"Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep."
-Chip Collins
"You're the ugly girl!"
-Candace Boyd
"No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody
does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!"
-Scott O'Neal and me
"I grew up with that but in Spanish."
-Liz Mejia
"One day the three of us will be married!"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a
bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And,
he was BIG!"
-Matty Teves
"Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo."
-Me, to Pablo Butterworth
"And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's
right...............the Holy Spirit."
-Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something
"That's a good length, that's pettable."
-R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head
"There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size."
-Kristy Miller
"Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!"
-Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready
for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just
before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball
"Mr. Herringbone understands."
-Katie Mohler
"Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?"
-Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by
Katie Mohler
"Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type
in, 'butt,' and you come up."
-Me, to Pablo Butterworth
"The chocolate chip in the cookie."
-Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our
family
"I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk."
-Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8
white guys
"I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!"
-Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check
gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere
"So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and
forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking
and it startled me."
-Sarah Cress
"Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"Jane!"
-Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan
"I went sniffing once."
-Katie Mohler
"Can you use that in a definition?"
-Sarah Cress
"Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's
shopping again."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"They had her fork here and I ate it."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"Every outfit you wear is a statement."
-Scott O'Neal
"Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?"
-Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at
Southeast Christian Church
"He likes to sit in my drawers."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate."
-James Losey, about me
"I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!"
-Heidi Marlene Johnson
"I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus."
-Me
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in
that order."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I eat soap for breakfast."
-Sarah Cress
"I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway."
-Rob Smythe
"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
-Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects
"Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something."
-Janal Prybys
"More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock."
-Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish
"This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl
Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high."
-Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person
"Hold me like you used to."
-Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated
"This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because
pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably
retarded."
-Jessica Cimato
"And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash."
-Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood
"Oh, I love that movie!"
-Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson
"They have male stores?"
-Katie Mohler
"She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook."
-Michael Butterworth
"Yes, it's my purse."
-James Losey
"There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has
been inflicted with The Terror!"
-Kristina Pelhank
"You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk
away, but for some strange reason, I can't."
-Sarah Cress
"John gave me a good wedgie."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I won't say whoooole falsehoods..."
-Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok
"I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet."
-Michael Butterworth
"God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love."
-Michael Butterworth
"This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you."
-Rob Smythe
"Next year you'll be in the zoo."
-Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey
"I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up
undergrad chicks, too."
-Michael Butterworth
"I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those
blue nasty ones."
-R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman,
when speaking of it being blue and nasty
"Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much',
because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to
mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day."
-Jessica Cimato
"'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I have some ligament in the car."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I lost it from all the throwing up I did."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"He's a Filipino knockoff!"
-David Brandt, commenting on me
"No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!"
-Chris Sellers
"You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?"
-Sarah El-Masri, to me
"You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about
girls, you're never going to get married."
-Me, to Pablo Butterworth
"I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's
older than you."
-Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer
"She's not the kind of guy you'd go for."
-Me
"I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It
gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow."
-Jessica Cimato, to me
"From this angle, I can see everything!"
-Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt
"Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?"
-R. Lauren Duncan, to me
"If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many
pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer."
-Pablo Butterworth
"You are not going to put that on Facebook!"
-Pablo Butterworth
"I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts."
-Nick Crouse
"They're *macadamia* nuts!"
-Ryan Travis
"Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They
charge you nine dollars an hour!"
-Brian Buck
"Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?"
-Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage
Hall
"Are you ok? I just wet my pants."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I just want to marry a pastor."
-Blind Brandon
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