12.31.2008
NYC Coffee: Cafe Grumpy
The Clover. Is this $11,000 machine worth the $5.00 cup of coffee I enjoyed so thoroughly at Cafe Grumpy? In all honesty, I'm not certain. I know one thing for sure, though: I seriously enjoyed my experience there, and I'd go back in a heartbeat.
posted by Bolo |
3:04 PM
2 speakage
Silent Sounds III
posted by Bolo |
11:29 AM
0 speakage
Tempura Don
posted by Bolo |
8:02 AM
0 speakage
First Cracks
I just roasted up a Cup of Excellence from El Salvador, my first experience in roasting an "award" coffee. As I stood over the machine, watching and smelling and listening to the roast progress, I realized a familiar feeling was brewing: frustration. I wanted to get this roast perfect the first time, and I wanted to feel as though I knew I was getting it right without having to wait to taste it. Therein lies the beauty of the coffee roasting experience, for as soon as I feel I've figured it out, I get my expertise snatched from right out under me. Hah...silly human, thinking I have control over such a dynamic and complex bundle of flavor!
posted by Bolo |
2:18 AM
7 speakage
$$$
The prices we saw at Mitsuwa were no joke. Fortunately, we felt no inclination whatsoever to purchase these dainties.
Well, mostly no inclination... ;)
posted by Bolo |
12:41 AM
0 speakage
12.30.2008
Quotable
"Therefore, 'Oh the height, and depth, and length, and breadth of the love of Christ which passeth knowledge!' The consideration of so much, should not only work a longing after Christ, and the promise; but we should set so light by sure riches of mercy, and walk unworthy of so great salvation. Could we comprehend the unmeasurable dimensions of God's love and goodness revealed in His Word; O how would our hearts be inflamed towards Him!"
-Thomas Hooker, The Poor Doubting Christian Drawn to Christ
posted by Bolo |
6:26 PM
0 speakage
Silent Sounds II
If for no other reason, I like this because it turned out exactly how I'd wanted it to turn out. It's nice how that works out sometimes, you know?
posted by Bolo |
11:39 AM
0 speakage
NYC Coffee: Gimme! Coffee
In all honesty, this one minute of video doesn't convey anywhere near the level of enjoyment Andrew, Sandi and I experienced at this location of Gimme! Coffee. I'll tell you more on that later, but for now, hear just a bit on what makes them unique.
posted by Bolo |
2:09 AM
2 speakage
12.29.2008
Timely Lighting
posted by Bolo |
5:15 PM
0 speakage
Jesus' Work
"If your failure has taught you that Jesus won't work with you, you have not failed enough! Because your failure is not meant to teach you that Jesus can't do much with you, it's meant to teach you that you can't do anything with you! Your failure isn't meant to lower the bar of your expectations for your Christian discipleship, it's meant to destroy them apart from the power of Jesus Christ. It's a beautiful thing to be brought to nothing, because then you're at a place when you really say, 'Apart from You I can do nothing.'"
-Ryan Fullerton
Jesus will work with me and He won't give up on me. He's gentle, holding me when I feel broken and feeling the guilt of knowing I've sinned and continued to sin in the same horrible ways. He's insistent, whispering tenderly when I scream at myself and want to believe the lie that Jesus is sick and tired of me. He's forgiving, having already forgiven me when I don't want to forgive myself for what I do to Him. He's faithful, knowing full-well I'm horrifically afraid of forsaking Him utterly, yet faithfully reminding me that He is faithful when I am not...and often, I am not. He is humble, living to serve ceaselessly and cleanse me from my sin, even when I try to hide the shame of my filth from the warm light of His glorious grace. He is gracious, not letting me for a second believe that I can possibly begin to earn my way into the shameless, glorious joy of His love. He undoes me, revealing to me and others the sins that I cling to, illuminating them in the sanctifying light of His cross. No, Jesus will not give up working in me; in a very real and wondrous sense, He's already finished the work for me.
posted by Bolo |
2:51 PM
0 speakage
Green Tea Moment
Remember, A is for Awesome!
posted by Bolo |
11:29 AM
0 speakage
Diction
Main Entry: giz·mo
Variant(s): also gis·mo \ˈgiz-(ˌ)mō\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural gizmos also gismos
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1943
: gadget
: Andrew and Sandi Uchida's unborn fetus, currently developed four months and able to hear its Uncle John's lectures on coffee. Due to arrive in May 2009.
: Official and lasting nickname for Andrew and Sandi Uchida's child, currently in fetus form, developed four months.
posted by Bolo |
2:44 AM
2 speakage
12.28.2008
NYC Coffee: Jack's Stir Brew
On one of the stops on our tour through the city, we stopped at Jack's, a quaint little shop somewhat off the beaten path. As you can see, it's a very welcoming place with lots going for it.
posted by Bolo |
8:55 PM
6 speakage
NYC Coffee: Visually Speaking
The day trip to New York City was short but sweet, literally and figuratively. I've got a ton of thoughts from the coffee side of things, and even more beyond that. For now, though, this not-so-young Hawaiian must pack for the Bluegrass.
posted by Bolo |
3:31 PM
0 speakage
PHL to SDF
Leaving is kinda sucky. Really, really sucky, actually.
posted by Bolo |
1:13 PM
0 speakage
12.27.2008
Boogies!
Ms. Leah Perlman claims that she always has boogies. I was not about to disagree with the young lady.
posted by Bolo |
6:54 PM
1 speakage
Silent Sounds
posted by Bolo |
2:13 PM
0 speakage
NYC
If you had a chance to head to New York City for the day, what would you do? You think about that, then ponder just what yours truly would do when he does that today.
This.
posted by Bolo |
8:59 AM
3 speakage
Quotes: SWFWDA
"Sorry -- I got distracted. I'm trying to deflect a potential setup by my landlord...this is ridiculous. He's a nice guy, and I love his family, and I'm sure some of his friends are lovely human beings.... but still, there's something icky about renting an apartment that comes with free dating advice, right?"
"I'm such an embarrassment to my gender."
"Every time my emotions surface and cause me further trouble, I remember all the good things about dying alone. That's going to be a good bumper sticker..."
"I'm not good at the whole flirtation concept...I've been known to misunderstand many date invites."
"I can even make him call me...my imaginary boyfriend, I mean. His name and number are already in my phone...I have lots of pictures of the two of us."
posted by Bolo |
1:10 AM
0 speakage
12.26.2008
Da Buggah 'Ono!
Mmmm :)
posted by Bolo |
5:20 PM
0 speakage
Glory Tied Up
I feel as though there are so many thoughts running through my mind, thoughts far too fleeting and far-off to actually grab hold of and examine at length. The funny thing is that these thoughts concern things that are the most concrete and important things...ever.
A little backing up is necessary, I suppose.
On Tuesday, as I was sitting at Gate C6, waiting to board my 6 PM flight out of SDF, listening to Sara tell me it was already 6 PM and realizing I had just gotten a text telling me my flight was delayed for half an hour, I pondered one big thought: God has wrapped up and tied together His glory, His eternal, infinite, perfect glory, with the lives of sinners. In a sense, He has put His glory on the line by taking that which is eternal, infinite and perfect, and wrapped it up together with that which is eternally hopeless, infinitely horrible, and offensive in its sinful imperfections, and brought the two irreconcilable things together in Christ.
Still with me?
Said differently, this is what God has done: He's taken His glory and made it so that His glory is displayed in the lives of sinners made saints. But He doesn't stop there, for He has chosen to make His glory seen primarily in this work. And still, He doesn't stop there, for He has chosen for His Son to dwell in bodily form for eternity, a bodily form that shamelessly shows forth the glorious proof of His redemptive work for all eternity. Christ came as a Man, died as a Man, and now lives as a Man. This is glorious!
And yet, I have a hard time understanding this. I suppose the practical side of such truths is kind of like the dark side of the moon: I know it's there, but that doesn't mean I can see it, and even if I could, it still seems far off and remote.
posted by Bolo |
1:04 PM
0 speakage
Yeah, Doggy!
Darius is a rather large, if gentle, Mastiff. Kind of like how a young lion can be large and gentle, I suppose.
posted by Bolo |
12:19 PM
0 speakage
Christmas 2008
Note the matching shirts...with an additional sticker on mine...
posted by Bolo |
1:44 AM
0 speakage
Quotatious
"As I was taking old pictures and articles off the refrigerator, I found this dead gecko I splatted a few years ago but forgot about until now."
-Gary Lau
"Do you know what amniotic fluid is made of? Sandi likes to remind me that it's made up of close to a hundred percent urine."
-Andrew Uchida
posted by Bolo |
12:51 AM
0 speakage
12.25.2008
Tokyo?
You thought I was in Pennsylvania. I told some of you I was going to New Jersey for the day. Little did you know...
...it was actually Tokyo...
posted by Bolo |
3:55 PM
0 speakage
Merry Christmas!
From me and the Japanese Santa Crause, have a great Christmas, everyone :)
posted by Bolo |
6:38 AM
0 speakage
Wait, NJ?
Mitsuwa. Who'd have thought that on my first full day in Pennsylvania I'd go to New Jersey? Furthermore, who'd have thought that I'd go to New Jersey for some ridiculously stellar Japanese fare? Not I! Oishii!
posted by Bolo |
12:25 AM
0 speakage
12.24.2008
PA
After three flight delays on two separate flights, being pulled over at the security screening checkpoint by an airport TSA agent, and around two hours of sitting on 422 West without moving, I'm here.
posted by Bolo |
3:45 AM
1 speakage
12.23.2008
Cup of the Afternoon
Oh gosh. This Ethiopian Harrar is going to end at some point. I'm not happy about it. Buttery body; muted fruit notes; milk and dark chocolate all over the place; pure deliciousness!
posted by Bolo |
4:04 PM
0 speakage
Jaunty
In less than two hours, I'll have boarded my flight and be on my way east. It'll be the furthest east I've gone since that legendary trip to Maryland, and I've no doubt this celebratory jaunt has the potential to surpass even that. We'll see.
posted by Bolo |
3:51 PM
0 speakage
Linkage
I wonder...I've got four full days...a visit to a legit shop that just happens to have a Clover, perhaps?
Was it really that long ago? Yes, it was. Like I told Mr. Carpenter, it seems like Jimmy's accuracy had gone the way of Irish bowl wins as the season progressed. Hopefully the Irish will look more like this crew than the one we saw in the second half of the season.
To all you nonconformist hipsters out there, I used one in the 80's.
Pre or post? Good question...one of many. No, not that pre or post, you theology nerds.
The title of this blog, in conjunction with the title and subject of this post, simply should not exist. But it does. And you know what? Philip Revell should know it does, too.
posted by Bolo |
11:29 AM
0 speakage
12.22.2008
Thoughts
Yes, my coffee mug is my accessory, just like ladies carry around a handbag or a purse as an accessory. Seriously, was sniffing Smitty's armpit all that bad? I think Lauren said, "Chris, stop it!" at least once for every one that Philip downed. No, Jack and Heather, I don't care if it seems like it, I have not been here since before 2001! Lukey still thinks cuff links are like buttons that come off. Are my hands really that soft? Still haven't packed. I love Dave Shuey. I've not had a drop of coffee in over 24 hours. New York, too? Twenty bucks for that sushi buffet, Rev...I'm so there. I don't care what you say, Jess, my wrists do not feel like a girl's wrists, but they are rather smooth from their lack of hair. Just because I've not drunk a drop doesn't mean I've not smelled or read about it. It looks like the answer to getting involved in the other person's life is much simpler than we thought...much better, too. Those freakin' videos really aren't uploading properly, and it's bothering me in a really improper way. Uchida and Letoto...heck yes!
posted by Bolo |
11:09 PM
0 speakage
Koen: B & W
posted by Bolo |
3:10 PM
0 speakage
Summer Sky
posted by Bolo |
9:00 AM
2 speakage
Legendary!
So. I just got back from the Carpenters' home, the site of a rather legendary series of events. First, Rev gave a full and, according to Lauren and Amanda, faithfully inflected recounting of the Florida flight story. I, much to my chagrin, did not have my camera on me to video this retelling in the full.
I know, sad times.
Well, believe it or not, the evening only got better from there. How so, you ask? Well, I'll not ruin it by telling you, my readership, all of what happened, but I will say that it involved a few twenty dollar bills, three different video recording devices, and sympathy puking.
Yes. Legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is...dary!
Oh, the irony of that statement in this story...
posted by Bolo |
12:38 AM
0 speakage
12.21.2008
Word
Hebrews 12:18 - 24
For you have not come to a mountain that can be touched and to a blazing fire, and to darkness and gloom and whirlwind, and to the blast of a trumpet and the sound of words which sound was such that those who heard begged that no further word be spoken to them. For they could not bear the command, "IF EVEN A BEAST TOUCHES THE MOUNTAIN, IT WILL BE STONED." And so terrible was the sight, that Moses said, "I AM FULL OF FEAR and trembling." But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, and to myriads of angels, to the general assembly and the church of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the Judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood, which speaks better than the blood of Abel.
posted by Bolo |
9:57 AM
0 speakage
Thoughts
I think it oddly awesome that that glass broke the way it did. I freakin' roofed Todd, but didn't put nearly as big a roof over him as Molly put up on MoBap. I think I know a little more of the answer to Kane's question. I really want to see it, but I don't see it yet. Little James Fullerton knows my name: "John! Toto!" Scarves are for cold people. Tuesday. Take the lens off, turn it around, and get really, really, really close...instant macro. Lukey knows what cuff links are, and what they are for: "They're like buttons that come off!" I don't need it, but I want another tat. Sushi is good; free sushi is better. It's all in the greens...all in the greens. Don't worry, Moon, there's no amusement for you here, so you're not missing out on anything...I promise. Okay, several tats. It's really amusing to your friends when the only other person with a key to your house, the house you just locked yourself out of, is the one who just left for her honeymoon. I'm a weenie, and I really do mean that. Dang, talk about overwhelming...I mean, what if we really do that? A little Black Sabbath would be good. "Let's face it, this isn't the worst thing you've caught me doing." After nearly three decades on this earth, I think it's fair to say I'm more of an acquired taste. Dang...life just got a whole lot more complicated...and nothing's happened yet...got 'em.
posted by Bolo |
1:13 AM
0 speakage
12.20.2008
Shot Glass
posted by Bolo |
11:58 PM
0 speakage
Conversant: SWFWDA
SWFWDA: "It's really hard to unaccept a date, if you've never seen it happen."
Me: "Have you done that?"
SWFWDA: "No comment."
posted by Bolo |
10:41 AM
4 speakage
Mugged
posted by Bolo |
2:13 AM
0 speakage
12.19.2008
Linkage
This Linkage is dedicated to little Koen. After all, he knows what his Uncle Johnny likes.
Whoa, I'd hate to see this come out of my Mini!
The heck with the dark side, right? Go light!
Perhaps two of this most esteemed readership will actually enjoy reading this. A few of you may desire to enjoy it, but are not quite there yet, and that, too, is fine. To the rest of you, I suggest you simply raise your mugs and enjoy the product of such zealous thinking, content in the knowledge that you yourselves need not be so fastidious to enjoy greatly the product of my fastidious nature.
Believe me, this is not what I mean when I talk about beans wrinkling.
They're speakin' my language -- even if the grammar could use a little fine-tuning.
Project. Better project.
Sure, I...heck, we, would love to drop some green on an old, gas-powered, cast iron hunk of drum-roasting hotness. But what to do with it? Ah, there's an answer for that question, a solution for that problem! I'm sure there are cheaper ones out there, but it's still nice to know that this exists.
Believe me, I know I'm not normal. Why? This gets me way too freakin' excited. I want to be invisible, too.
posted by Bolo |
2:46 PM
0 speakage
Conversant: SWFWDA
The SWFWDA and I were chatting recently, and I told her that I thought it would be pretty cool to move somewhere where I didn't know anyone, and no one knew me.
SWFWDA: "You could have a moment of anonymity."
Me: "How long do you think that would last?"
SWFWDA: "I was sort of thinking a literal moment."
Me: "Oh."
Way to burst my bubble.
posted by Bolo |
11:12 AM
0 speakage
Free is Good
Since I didn't have my camera on me (I know, I know), I had to settle for this shot with the phone. Oh well.
posted by Bolo |
9:29 AM
0 speakage
She's Sweet
posted by Bolo |
8:09 AM
0 speakage
12.18.2008
Thoughts: Godward
"There is only one fountain of lasting joy -- the overflowing gladness of God in God. Without beginning and without ending, without source and without cause, without help or assistance, the spring is eternally self-replenishing. From this unceasing fountain of joy flow all grace and all joy in the universe -- and all the rest of this book. Let everyone who is thirsty come."
-John Piper, The Pleasures of God
posted by Bolo |
5:32 PM
0 speakage
@5 Seconds
posted by Bolo |
2:22 PM
0 speakage
Chat Log
When Kev asked me how I was doing, I replied, "Mmmmokay...I mean...very well...but that doesn't come easily...and I only realize that when I think about it...kinda the 'count your blessings' thing...like I don't bother to count, so I tend to feel like I'm not blessed...it's stupid...the old, 'Man, I wish I had a cool place to live...I wish I had an awesome dad like he has...I wish I had money...I wish I knew the stuff so-and-so does.' And then I open my bible and read it...and I go, 'Dahmy.' "
Yeah.
posted by Bolo |
11:43 AM
0 speakage
Dosing
posted by Bolo |
9:17 AM
0 speakage
12.17.2008
How'd You Do That?
"I've been lying in bed wide awake for the past hour! Probably shouldn't have had that coffee!"
That was the text I received from Dave at 11:16 pm last night. I'd been at a latte art party earlier in the evening when Dave stopped by for a bit before heading home for some shut-eye. The esteemed Mr. Moisan said he had an early flight to catch in the morning, so he wanted to get some rest while he could, and therefore would not be staying long. Of course, when I handed him a cup of that Tanzania Blackburn Estate, he couldn't resist its lure, so he sucked it down with gusto. Well, little did he know when he sent me that text message that I was actually in his house, just a flight of stairs away from his room.
His face when I opened the door to his room thirty seconds later was priceless :)
posted by Bolo |
11:03 PM
0 speakage
Bittersweet
posted by Bolo |
6:14 PM
0 speakage
Cup of the Afternoon
In the cup is an Ethiopia Koratie, wet-processed, a wonderful afternoon delight. Sweet, like warm juice, almost bouillon-like, but incredibly pleasant and light, it finishes with a nice and mild yeasty impression in the mouth. Simply put, it's delicious and drinkable!
posted by Bolo |
2:15 PM
0 speakage
Username Addendum
"...dash Y-O-U-R-M-O-M."-Warren Kesselring
posted by Bolo |
8:10 AM
0 speakage
Mazzer This
That Mini is awesome. 'Nuff said.
posted by Bolo |
1:55 AM
0 speakage
12.16.2008
Doorknob
posted by Bolo |
11:50 AM
0 speakage
Cup of the Morning
Tanzania Blackburn Estate...juicy, sweet, and fruity!
posted by Bolo |
9:40 AM
0 speakage
Office Goodies
Who needs breakfast, right? *Grin*
posted by Bolo |
8:21 AM
0 speakage
Muggings
posted by Bolo |
12:08 AM
0 speakage
12.15.2008
A Letter
I hurt for you, friend, I really do. I won't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I will not shy away from letting you know that God does. Even as I think and type that, those words seem trite and far too easy to say, but they're still true. I wouldn't tell it to you if you didn't believe that yourself. I'm glad we were there with you tonight, but I shudder to think you still can feel so alone in the midst of it all. Thanks for letting us love you, buddy.
posted by Bolo |
10:55 PM
0 speakage
He Had What?
"I had a dream last night with Dr. Nettles in it......he had on purple mascara and giant purple glasses." -Stephen Mobley
posted by Bolo |
12:53 PM
0 speakage
Single Linkage
They're just awesome. Yup.
posted by Bolo |
11:26 AM
0 speakage
Rewind
Still trying...it's a good thing God is much more faithful than I.
posted by Bolo |
7:38 AM
0 speakage
12.14.2008
Underwritten
I sit in my apartment right now, eyeballs slightly achy, nose a little stuffy, thoughts racing like bumper cars, and I really, really, really want to write. If I didn't have to wake up in the morning and go to work, I probably would down a little coffee -- well, a lot of coffee -- and get to it. Instead, I type out this half-baked stream of thought.
Such is life, right?
I want to tell all of you about my night last night, a night that consisted of alternating between brewing coffee in a cluttered kitchen while letting my Sojourn and Sunergos friends smell the dry and wet grounds and speaking to various individuals about coffee in general and the brewed coffees in particular. While I really want to tell you what some of those individuals said and did, I won't because I feel humbled and encouraged beyond my ability or right to share any of that. At least, not yet.
I want to unveil and give verbal shape and form to the weighty truths of conviction I've felt placed upon my heart this week.
I would love nothing more than to speak to my nieces and nephews, in person, and give them a hug. Of course, I would also like to detail exactly why I want to do that more this year than in any other year prior, but I don't think I can...at least, not yet.
I think I'd like to take a week just to sit and think and write...of course, I've already written about that a few times recently, so this comes as nothing new to any of you. Seriously, though, I'm feeling the need for it. Consider it not merely a need to process, but more than that, a need for creative outlet.
posted by Bolo |
11:54 PM
1 speakage
Through the Grinder
posted by Bolo |
4:47 PM
0 speakage
Quotable
Dave sent me this little blurb the other morning as a means of encouragement to take hope in the gospel...again. I often find that I need to do just that...again and again and again. I don't grab hold of it nearly enough, though...it's a wonderful thing, then, that the gospel does that to us.
"Their being discouraged by their sins will cost them many a prayer, many a tear, and many a groan; and that because their discouragements under sin flow from ignorance and unbelief. It springs from their ignorance of the richness, freeness, fullness, and everlastingness of God's love; and from their ignorance of the power, glory, sufficiency, and efficacy of the death and sufferings of the Lord Jesus Christ; and from their ignorance of the worth, glory, fullness, largeness, and completeness of the righteousness of Jesus Christ; and from their ignorance of that real, close, spiritual, glorious, and inseparable union that is between Christ and their precious souls.
"Ah! Did precious souls know and believe the truth of these things as they should, they would not sit down dejected and overwhelmed under the sense and operation of sin. God never gave a believer a new heart that it should always lie a-bleeding, and that it should always be rent and torn in pieces with discouragements."
-Thomas Brooks, Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices
posted by Bolo |
9:56 AM
0 speakage
12.13.2008
What I'm Grateful For
It's a pretty awesome thing to have people come up to you and thank you for sharing "your craft" with them. It's even more awesome to realize that they really do mean it, and that they greatly appreciate and enjoy what you have come to appreciate and enjoy through many hours of dedication and labor.
What a night...wow.
posted by Bolo |
11:55 PM
0 speakage
Great Lunch
Thanks, buddy...here's to many more wonderful times.
posted by Bolo |
1:33 PM
0 speakage
Shot Down
Single-origin shots really don't hide the defects of a bean; by the same token, they really do reveal all the various facets of what a bean has to offer, so tasting a single-origin pull of a shot of espresso can be incredible. Here, Kane, Michael and I do just that...several times over.
posted by Bolo |
3:24 AM
0 speakage
12.12.2008
Thoughts
Bourbon balls are my friends...but just like real life, I can only have so many of them. Sorry, Hermoso...I'll bring you coffee! ARC time, Charlie, ARC time. You're right, MJB, I do indeed do those sorts of things to your impressions of my wardrobe...because I can...and I enjoy it. Dude, the Keymaster was totally creepy! My pastor is amazing, and not just 'cause he packs my theological pipe. Eric, seriously, one guess? Chillin' in the Chemic house and listening to the latest song...almost legendary. Kitchen table very soon, 'Drew...we're long overdue, brother. Words that are imprecise yet effective are a guilty pleasure of mine...more on the guilty, less on the pleasure. Thanks to the Redheaded Stepchild, that 40% got an extra 20%. Tomorrow, LD and I will chill like it's 2008. Sasquatch stole my food. White Brown & Gray, I'm thinkin' about pancakes...yes, those pancakes. T-Squared; Toto; MoBap; VBall-Paul...it'll feel like 2003 in Levering Gym on Monday night! The Ethiopian thingy should be pretty awesome, as will the latte art dealio. Fridays in December do not make for a calm work environment in the office. Having Eric declare me one of the people they would want to survive the End of the World is high praise...even though I don't know who else comprises the "we" of that declaration.
posted by Bolo |
5:30 PM
2 speakage
Thingy
posted by Bolo |
11:51 AM
0 speakage
AM Announcement
Good morning, it's Friday!
posted by Bolo |
8:32 AM
0 speakage
12.11.2008
You Should Come
Read it. Yours truly will be there, brewing up some delicious beanage.
posted by Bolo |
11:27 PM
0 speakage
Tropical Toto
Upon returning to my cubicle this afternoon, I found that Karen decided I was in need of a little Christmas cheer, so she added a little seasonal decoration:
Later, Stephen remarked, "It's like a new Barbie: Tropical Toto." Gotta love my coworkers...
posted by Bolo |
10:15 PM
0 speakage
Order 373946
16 lbs of green coffee has arrived......including 2 lbs of robusta... ...espresso blending shall ensue shortly... ...after all, there is a wonderful purpose... ...Kane's barista competition in February... ...Chicago, here we come!
posted by Bolo |
2:52 PM
0 speakage
Koen: B & W
posted by Bolo |
2:44 PM
0 speakage
Pastoral Pith and...Pity?
"You may not have the gift of singleness, but you do have the gifts of singleness!"
-Ryan Fullerton
posted by Bolo |
7:32 AM
0 speakage
What Uncle Johnny Drinks: 10
posted by Bolo |
12:44 AM
0 speakage
12.10.2008
Word
1 John 4:10
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Once upon a time, there was a father who was told by God to sacrifice his son, his only son, the son of his love. This father went and obeyed, yet God stayed his wrathful hand of obedience and love, and this loving father's son was spared.
Once upon a time, there was a man who was told by God to go and love a woman who would not return his love, a woman of infidelity and brokenness, a woman who would leave this man and break his heart. This man was told to go and love her again, to purchase back she who was his own in shame and humiliation, and love her as she did not deserve to be loved: in righteousness and justice, lovingkindness and compassion, and in faithfulness.
Once upon a time there was King, and He was born amongst the animals. For a royal birthing court His Father brought to Him mere shepherds, the lowliest of the low; yet these simpletons had invitations that echoed with heavenly glory and divine delight. Never was any birth so royal, never any so meek, so fitting. Even then, even at His birth, the King bid the lowliest of the low, "Come to me!" for He would not turn away His people, those whom He loved, those whom His Father had given to Him.
posted by Bolo |
6:52 PM
0 speakage
Door...Knob
posted by Bolo |
10:28 AM
1 speakage
Linkage
Oh gosh.
Sticky, sticky.
Blogging on blogging.
Bones, teeth and hair, oh my!
posted by Bolo |
12:50 AM
2 speakage
12.09.2008
Infamy
This was supposed to be posted on Sunday, but for some reason, it got lost in the mix. Ironic, considering that it was meant to commemorate a day that was to be unforgettable...with an image of a place where many now find peace and solace...a day that was to live in infamy.
posted by Bolo |
5:45 PM
2 speakage
Ink Think
I feel the need to sit and write and think......for a long, long while... ...by candlelight, with quill and ink.
posted by Bolo |
8:24 AM
0 speakage
12.08.2008
Logging
This is the unedited chat log from when an anonymous Southern Seminary student and I were communicating via Al Gore's wonderful creation the other day:
me: your status starts with, "You wanna know..."
and I keep glancing at it and hearing in my head, "I wanna know what love iiiissss..."
DeeLishus: you're crazy
me: "I want you to shooowww meeeee..."
DeeLishus: what is love
me: baby don't hurt me
don't hurt me
no more
DeeLishus: no more
what is love
me: hahahaha
DeeLishus: all this while dr. moore is lecturing
No lie, that.
posted by Bolo |
5:43 PM
0 speakage
Lights Out
posted by Bolo |
11:29 AM
0 speakage
QotM
"One of these days......I'm going to make fun of your age... ...and you're just gonna snap... ...go all Asian on me." -Peter Sieg
posted by Bolo |
8:53 AM
0 speakage
Bowling
Whoa. I had heard about it, but I didn't think it would really happen. The Hawai'i Bowl? Oh, the irony is ridiculous...
posted by Bolo |
12:15 AM
2 speakage
12.07.2008
Sermon Snippet
"Listen to this, this is radical: Paul is leading people back to good doctrine by their experience. Put that in your theological pipe and smoke it."
-Ryan Fullerton, Gospel Interrogation: Galatians 3:1 - 5
posted by Bolo |
1:37 PM
1 speakage
Painting Party Again
posted by Bolo |
10:18 AM
0 speakage
Thoughts
That look on Lang's face was absolutely priceless. Okay, so maybe I did get a bit of dog hair with that cookie. The third shot was great, but I think we could have dialed it in to make it stellar if we had had more time. I still find it ridiculous that the first person who told me about Tim Tebow was Ridiculous. I still want to chase plastic. So I locked the keys in there...at least Warren has a spare...right? "Hey Brooks, can I get a latte?" Yes, it tasted like beer! You just know they weren't really going to walk back. RichardtheLionheart777, right, Ricky? Makana told her daddy that he looks handsome, just like her Uncle Johnny. Yes, Stephanie Keith, I'm really 29. "Do you have some sort of certification? Like, E-M-T or F-A-G?" I love the fact that I figured it out on my own, then confirmed it with Rev. Seriously, it's not like I go around telling people their fashion foibles or anything...I can't help it if I see them, though. Wow, they separated quickly. Jeesh, the ladies think you should have put a mole on your face for the video...you know, to make it a little more lifelike.
posted by Bolo |
1:57 AM
0 speakage
12.06.2008
Door
posted by Bolo |
3:59 PM
0 speakage
Dell
Coupons
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|
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| Daily |
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Coffee
Sweet Maria's
James Hoffmann
Theologous
Desiring God Ministries
Monergism
Discerning Reader
Albert Mohler, Jr.
Russell Moore
9 Marks
Play
Jock
Think
Laugh
Foxtrot
User Friendly
Learn
National Geographic
Geek out. Again.
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| Read |
|
Paint
Prayer
Pleasures
Commune
Galactic
Wabbit
Great
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|
| Listen |
|
Jack
Finished
Discover
Tones
of Fleck
Step
In the Arms
Smashing
Thinking
|
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| Visualize |
|
Facebook
Albums
(Updated 3/21/2007)
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| Blogging Buddies |
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Homeage
Gary
Uch
Boss
Kev
Goose
Mark
Rich
Sanchez
Mon &
Dave
Leo
Barb
Brit
The 'Villeage
O'Neals
Jim
Hilliard
Pablo
Butterworth
the Younger
Nikki
Lefty
Ashlea
Parris
Cavies
Calvinaugh
Weenie
& Elizabeth
Owen
T4G
Tim
Bob
Josh
Christman
Szrama
Ryherd
Brandt
Hutch
FYI
FYI TV
CMac
Maiden
Dana
Dubya
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|
| Old School |
|
Memories
Faith...
Wonder...
Empty
Snaps
Manna
The
Misses
Character
|
|
| Me |
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Me
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| Bug Me |
|
smeagolisfree@gmail.com
AIM: MrToto2U
Facebook
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| Yore |
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|
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| Factuality |
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|
I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've
got five nephews and two nieces.
|
|
| Quotatious |
|
"I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it."
-Ryan Szrama
"I'm trying to be regenerate."
-Ivy Warriner
"Pink is pink. Peach is not pink."
-Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband
"How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today."
-John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate
"I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People
like that don't deserve to win it."
-Michael Butterworth
"I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many
marriages I go through."
-Katie Mohler
"However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told
him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to
you.'"
-Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little
incident which we do not name
"He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth
wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety,
but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get
married for twelve more years?'"
-Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father
"So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka."
-Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming
"Ok, he walks loudly."
-Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs"
"Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas."
-Ryan Szrama
"I have a way with old women."
-Josh Reid
"Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady."
-Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey
"It wasn't sweet, it was creepy."
-Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't
given
"I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain."
-Katie Mohler
"Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped
worrying about updating the score list."
-Ryan Szrama, commenting on his alma mater's basketball team
"What can go wrong on Appreciate a Dragon Day?"
-Lori Wanman
"Do you enjoy making people feel retarded? You behave like that is
your job in life."
-Jessica Cimato
"Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?"
-Peter Sieg
"Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests."
-Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months
of pastoring at IBC have been
"If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned
marooned Moon."
-Michael Jenkins
"Can we call you 'Special Dark'?"
-Stephen Mobley
"Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip."
-Me, on how to order water at Starbucks
"It's you to an unsanctified T."
-Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey
"It's like a workout, having a conversation with you."
-Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey
"I shot the French Press..."
-Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff
"Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck
thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!"
-Off White
"Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!"
-Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend
"It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in
4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's
what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it
yet.'"
-Catherine Huffman
"It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since
you took Geometry."
-Peter Sieg, to me
"You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks
totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that
you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John
Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we
both blame your camera."
-Catherine Huffman
"You're going to die soon, anyway."
-Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday
"I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver."
-Stephen Mobley
"It's likely but unlikely."
-Ben Hedrick
"There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto."
-Jessica Vaughn
"The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'"
-Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh
"Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?"
-Ben Hedrick
"It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?"
-Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know
what car she drives?"
"High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!"
-Josh Reid
"Man, she's finer than a frog hair!"
-Josh Reid
"I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'"
-Heather Seagle
"Where's my phone?"
-Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone
"Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I
don't get kicked."
-Me
"Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or
whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd
probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a
close call!"
-Dana W
"I don't want to see this on your blog."
-Ryan Fullerton
"John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle,
here is his frown."
-Ben Hedrick
"Oh shutup, voicemail person!"
-Stephen Mobley
" 'P' as in 'purgatory.' "
-Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call
"You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry."
-Stephen Mobley
"Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than
say, Katie Mohler."
-Johanna Tollefson
"You just called me a chunker!"
-Christin Simpson
"We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in
Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's
food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.'
"
-Peter Sieg
"My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist."
-Christin Simpson
"How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' "
-Christin Simpson
"Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how
he peed in worship, it confused me."
-Katie Mohler
"Yes, I'm precious and all that."
-Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment
"Do you have a numerical number for that?"
-Stephen Mobley
"I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's
buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that."
-Peter Sieg
"That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it."
-Stephen Mobley
"Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other
non-contiguous U.S. states."
-Stephen Mobley
"In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time."
-Christin Simpson
"They never know whether to come out the front or the back."
-Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes
"I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'."
-Andy Lowe
"Could you translate that out of Letototian?"
-Lauren Farmer
"Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles
moments lately."
-Me
"I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking."
-Michael Butterworth
"She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't
big-boned, she was Hispanic."
-Ryan Szrama
"More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster."
-Allison Poplin
"Mmm, Chapstick!"
-Allison Poplin
"It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a
headstand in a ditch."
-Christin Simpson
"The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is
admitting I'm a stupid haole."
-Christine Robertson
"I said 'teached,' man!"
-Christin Simpson
"I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom."
-Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly
"Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!"
-Thomas Amos
"Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple
years older.' "
-Anonymous
"He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!"
-Me
"Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear."
-Dr. Mohler
"I've got fans all over."
-Lauren Farmer
"I'm having my own personal hot flash right now."
-Bobby House
"Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is
actually with a woman!"
-Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog
"Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the
Servant Towel award by taking me or something?"
-Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet
"I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all."
-Christin Simpson
"The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate."
-Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream
"Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!"
-Amanda Ledbetter
"I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier
to understand."
-Dr. Joslin, on women
"One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active
social life, or she's just fat."
-Richard B. Hardison
"You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly.
Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that
turns out."
-Jon "Jew" Borofsky
"Are you dressing Katie Mohler?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?"
-Andrew
"I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches."
-Michael Butterworth
"I really like the smell of gasoline."
-Katie Mohler
"You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out
and take the elevator."
-Bobby House
"But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you."
-Nick Crouse
"Gomez, you're Hispanic?"
-Matt Svoboda
"'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?"
-Lauren Farmer
"You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke."
-Moon Pie Godfrey
"It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!"
-Lauren Farmer
"I've had the passion, I just need the purity."
-Emily Dick
"I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right?
Letoto's going to be there!'"
-Warren Kesselring
"I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put
on lots of flannel."
-Ricky Hardison
"You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?"
-Sarah Cress
"So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones."
-Christin Simpson
"I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without
asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks."
-Emily O'Neal
"I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time."
-Taryn Walker
"You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to
bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College."
-Michael Butterworth
"Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white."
-Cole Harper
"I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'"
-Emily Dick
"I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have
boyish charm."
-Jeff Pearson
"If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart,
it's a bad idea."
-David Borreson
"Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!"
-Chriyus Davis
"When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to
myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' "
-Chriyus Davis
"What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here."
-Lauren Farmer
"I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?"
-Andrew, talking about his father's birthday.
"What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?"
-Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she
went to look up what he meant
"Stop flashing everyone!"
-Carla
"I didn't know I was going to see everything!"
-Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth
"Which would suck!"
-Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in
heaven...before his marriage
"Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?"
-Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes
"I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a
good tree to climb by Mullins."
-Michael Butterworth
"You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts."
-Scott O'Neal
"It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or
maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger."
-Andrew
"And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!"
-Emily Dick
"Is Scott the white-haired guy?"
-Brandon Stern
"The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I
really hope I don't fart."
-Kristy White
"Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin."
-Katy Cavaliere
"I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs."
-Andrew "Stretch" Holley
"And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that."
-Scott O'Neal
"I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart."
-Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo
"I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people,
why I wasn't married."
-Christine Robertson
"Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol'
woman with a 'fro."
-Chriyus Davis
"Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think
that's romantic."
-Lauren Farmer
"We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity."
-Lauren Farmer
"Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached
toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense,
you may have hit the skin on the head."
-Me, to Matt Teves
"Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!"
-Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning
"Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake
you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot."
-Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat
"Who's the brown one?"
-Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain
brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus
"A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say
or do is not a world I want to live in."
-Michael Butterworth
"Abby marches to the beat of her own flute."
-Scott O'Neal
"I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I
could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee."
-Jennifer Miller
"What's a 'good game'?"
-Katie Mohler
"Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I
used to give myself french manicures with it."
-R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper
"It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails."
-Trey Fuller
"How do you think that small?"
-Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting
"I like to curl up in the bathroom."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's
not a universal song, it's in a different language."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!"
-A.D.
"I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place."
-Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message
"Sounds like a bladder control problem."
-Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during
dorm meeting
"Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?"
-Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey
Cashell
"So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward."
-R. Lauren Duncan, about...something
"Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!"
-Boss
"When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but
when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a
different matter altogether."
-Scott O'Neal
"That's too much chocolate for you!"
-Bobby House III
"Dude, there's a lot of white people up here."
-Kawika, on being in Indiana
"This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp."
-Sandi, on the sermons at their church
"I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male."
-Heidi Marlene Johnson
"Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he
had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know,
that ninja look."
-Lisa, to me
"You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!"
-A certain manager at a certain store
"He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count.
You're right, he is the only guy we've got."
-A certain coworker at a certain store.
"She's the manliest girl I know."
-Christina Thompson
"Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy
than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're
better looking than most of the guys here."
-Nathan Fulllerton
"Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed
kids together."
-Scott O'Neal
"How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that
Uch is off the market."
-Goose
"It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!"
-Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate
"I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'"
-Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to
take over the airsoft world
"You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get
Government Service out of John."
-Goose
"Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months."
-Goose
"Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!"
-Boss
"How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to
SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes."
-Jeff Cavanaugh
"Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk."
-Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk
"I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke."
-Joel Gasparotto, to me
"No. But several kids."
-Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?"
"I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all
sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..."
-Me
"I think these are unthawed."
-Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken
"You mean frozen?"
-Matt Crawford, in response to Scott
"Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!"
-Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud
out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain
Hawaiian
"He's the closest thing to Black I got here!"
-Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian
was the most ethnically similar person at the camp
"Nice body!"
-Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they
collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball
"I could take you...to a movie."
-Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was
explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students
present
"It's my bladder!"
-Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang
"John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I."
-Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and
impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or
imagined) I have upon them
"At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will
Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding
stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to
watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly
assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that
into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'"
-Me
"Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm
asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books
off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT
asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what
I wrote up there."
-Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger
"Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day."
-Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania
"Did he sound winded?"
-Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night...
"Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!"
-Boss
"I don't do that, that would be too unmanly."
-Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails
"More of an acquired taste than kim chee."
-Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music
"That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed
with Shirley Temples."
-Christin Simpson
"Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are
odd' girl."
-Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her
blossoming reputation
"Hurry, before the smears come out!"
-Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall
"All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait"
-Andrew Strickland, while leading worship
"She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her."
-Lisa
"I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better
bed partner now."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!"
-One of the Brownies from Willow
"I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!"
-Same Brownie
"Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!"
-Drunk Brownie from Willow
"No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher."
-Gary
"It's probably providential."
-Chip Collins
"One more wave."
-Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air
"Well basically..."
-James McCray
"I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground."
-RAM, Jr.
"If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing
her away from all the decent guys."
-Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away
"Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome."
-Dr. Mohler
"Hey! How are you doing?"
-Rob Smythe
"I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand
on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in
the bathroom!"
-Boss
"So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?"
-Aaron Filippone
"The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me."
-Darren Thomas
"Hairy in the face and chest?"
-Me, in response to Darren
"Oh, cuss word!"
-Moon Pie
"If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute
long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize."
-Pablo Butterworth
"These *are* my dress socks. They're clean."
-Goose
"Before the throne of God above..."
-Jonathan Leeman...singing
"I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane."
-Michelle
"Piss on a biscuit!"
-Fritzy
"I saw Toto, and he's black!"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be
laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there."
-Jordan Cole
"Can she have a man?"
-Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie
"I am irresistible to men..."
-Poenie Tree
"Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!"
-AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite
"Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?"
-Tyler Ratliff
"She shook his butt before she shook his hand!"
-Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce
"Would you look at that BUTT?"
-Pablo Butterworth
"It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards."
-Pablo Butterworth
"He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us,
sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you
would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives
or anything.)"
-Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce
"Paul, I think we should mate."
-Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of
Psychiatrist
"You're classic, not metro."
-Elizabeth Foster
"I need ocean."
-Me
"Oh, I have some!"
-R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me
"Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two
completely different things."
-Dr. Draper
"The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!"
-Chris...something
"I hated you when I first met you."
-Scott O'Neal
"Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..."
-Pablo Butterworth
"Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going
to die teaching and I want to be there for it."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out."
-Michael Butterworth
"I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive."
-Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth
"Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How
did you become sexy?' "
-Pablo Butterworth
"Stop vacuuming my crack!"
-Chris Sellers
"That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any
taller..."
-Melissa Hermoso
"You smell like my mom!"
-Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild
"It's Allure for *men*, people!"
-Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild
"Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!"
-Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair
"We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down."
-Michael Butterworth
"I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials."
-Billy Reddick
"You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder."
-Kristina Pelhank, to me
"I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen,
and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it
breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen
floor.' "
-Pablo Butterworth
"You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into
trouble, and yours gets you out of it."
-Aaron Coffey, to me
"The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their
elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing."
-Michael Butterworth
"Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!"
-Sarah El-Masri
"I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone
there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop
together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play
XBox all night long, baby!"
-Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit
"Please stalk me at your earliest convienence."
-Sarah Cress
"There's a two year-old flirting with me!"
-Ashlea Davenport
"I used to have a neck, then something happened."
-Bobby House
"Can I buy three blacks from you?"
-Pablo Butterworth
"Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep."
-Chip Collins
"You're the ugly girl!"
-Candace Boyd
"No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody
does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!"
-Scott O'Neal and me
"I grew up with that but in Spanish."
-Liz Mejia
"One day the three of us will be married!"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a
bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And,
he was BIG!"
-Matty Teves
"Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo."
-Me, to Pablo Butterworth
"And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's
right...............the Holy Spirit."
-Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something
"That's a good length, that's pettable."
-R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head
"There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size."
-Kristy Miller
"Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!"
-Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready
for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just
before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball
"Mr. Herringbone understands."
-Katie Mohler
"Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?"
-Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by
Katie Mohler
"Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type
in, 'butt,' and you come up."
-Me, to Pablo Butterworth
"The chocolate chip in the cookie."
-Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our
family
"I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk."
-Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8
white guys
"I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!"
-Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check
gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere
"So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and
forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking
and it startled me."
-Sarah Cress
"Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"Jane!"
-Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan
"I went sniffing once."
-Katie Mohler
"Can you use that in a definition?"
-Sarah Cress
"Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's
shopping again."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"They had her fork here and I ate it."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"Every outfit you wear is a statement."
-Scott O'Neal
"Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?"
-Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at
Southeast Christian Church
"He likes to sit in my drawers."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate."
-James Losey, about me
"I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!"
-Heidi Marlene Johnson
"I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus."
-Me
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in
that order."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I eat soap for breakfast."
-Sarah Cress
"I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway."
-Rob Smythe
"The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
-Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects
"Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something."
-Janal Prybys
"More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock."
-Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish
"This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl
Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high."
-Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person
"Hold me like you used to."
-Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated
"This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because
pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably
retarded."
-Jessica Cimato
"And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash."
-Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood
"Oh, I love that movie!"
-Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson
"They have male stores?"
-Katie Mohler
"She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook."
-Michael Butterworth
"Yes, it's my purse."
-James Losey
"There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has
been inflicted with The Terror!"
-Kristina Pelhank
"You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk
away, but for some strange reason, I can't."
-Sarah Cress
"John gave me a good wedgie."
-Pablo Butterworth
"I won't say whoooole falsehoods..."
-Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok
"I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet."
-Michael Butterworth
"God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love."
-Michael Butterworth
"This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you."
-Rob Smythe
"Next year you'll be in the zoo."
-Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey
"I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up
undergrad chicks, too."
-Michael Butterworth
"I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those
blue nasty ones."
-R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman,
when speaking of it being blue and nasty
"Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?"
-R. Lauren Duncan
"May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much',
because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to
mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day."
-Jessica Cimato
"'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I have some ligament in the car."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I lost it from all the throwing up I did."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"He's a Filipino knockoff!"
-David Brandt, commenting on me
"No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!"
-Chris Sellers
"You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?"
-Sarah El-Masri, to me
"You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about
girls, you're never going to get married."
-Me, to Pablo Butterworth
"I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's
older than you."
-Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer
"She's not the kind of guy you'd go for."
-Me
"I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It
gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow."
-Jessica Cimato, to me
"From this angle, I can see everything!"
-Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt
"Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?"
-R. Lauren Duncan, to me
"If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many
pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer."
-Pablo Butterworth
"You are not going to put that on Facebook!"
-Pablo Butterworth
"I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts."
-Nick Crouse
"They're *macadamia* nuts!"
-Ryan Travis
"Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They
charge you nine dollars an hour!"
-Brian Buck
"Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?"
-Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage
Hall
"Are you ok? I just wet my pants."
-R. Lauren Duncan
"I just want to marry a pastor."
-Blind Brandon
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