Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Goose's WHAT?!?!

So lately, here's what I've been's time I create a post just for Goose. An Ode to Goose, if you will. We do, after all, go way back. Not only that, but we've shared countless hours getting one another into various degrees of trouble. Yes, it's time I write an Ode to Goose. The reasons for doing one are many, but ultimately, it comes down to this: he asked me to :)

The other day, Goose told me about his little knobby-knob, and how he was having trouble finding it. Well, not so much finding it, because it's not like it's misplaced or anything...I mean, he knows exactly where it is, or at least where it should be. It's probably more like he can't quite see he asked the nurse, "I don't see the little knobby-knob...where is it? Are you sure it's really there?" The nurse seemed sure of it, and tried to assure him that it was indeed there, but Goose being Goose, he didn't quite believe her. I thought to myself..."perhaps Goose has forgotten that his little knobby-knob is in the same place that it is for all the other little boys..." Oh well :)

During that same conversation, he told me that he saw this dude on a bicycle the other day. No big deal, right? Well, this dude had on one of those body-hugging spandex bicycle bodysuits on. big deal, right? Weeellll, as this guy slowed to a stop, he leaned to one side, waaaay over to one side, reached down with his hand, grabbed a large portion of the bodysuit that covered his gluteus maximus, and proceeded to publicly dig out the wedgie that had lodged itself in his aforementioned posterior.

Aaaahhh, I love my conversations with Goose :)

Speaking of our conversations, there are any number of Goose quotes that could be totally taken the wrong way if they were read by people who had no idea of the original context. Well, it's a good thing that Goose has such a good friend like me, eh? I mean, good and loyal friends wouldn't do something so underhanded as to post those quotes, would they? *Cough*.

Without further are Goose the quotes, henceforth known as, "The Geese".

"I am very merciful." (That, coming from the person who scored an absolute zero on the Mercy portion of the Spiritual Gifts test. Hah!)
"Blank blank, Mr. Monopoly Man!!!"
"But now, we can jus go back to da hotel room and get some good rest tonight." (Said at the wedding reception. HIS wedding reception. Even my dad, in his drunken stupor, caught on to that one quickly.)
"Rat got a Goosebite, Rat got a Goosebite!" (Ok, Goose didn't say it, but CJ did. It's a good thing Goose is one hairy buggah, and his hair grows back fas kine.)
"..." (What Goose said after the Big Alaskan Girl give him a kiss. With everyone watching. Including Michelle. Hehehehe.)
"Sheeeeeeep." (I'm not even explaining that gotta ask him.)
"These are my dress socks. They're clean." (Said about his white athletic socks while trying on shoes...a pair of black Ecco's. I'm proud to say that I've gotten him past that stage. He now owns black dress socks. Does he wear them? That's another story.)

I'm sure there are any number of quotes I'm forgetting. Like the time we were at Vineyard Zippy's with Shinnick, Mel, Michelle, and Jared. Somebody farted...and the poor waitress...everyone at the table was smiling, and she was still smiling, but there was this moment of slightly uncomfortable silence. And everyone kept smiling. I forget what Goose said, but it was hilarious watching him try to order with everyone thinking, "did the waitress hear that?" I think it was Mel who farted.

*Sigh*...but alas, no more Ben & Jerry's and movies nights, no Mountain Dew and Quake nights, no more shopping ventures to get Goose shoes while Michelle and Mel look on in amusement, and I look on in consternation. Perhaps one day we'll finally watch those Transformers episodes...back to back to back...well, you get the idea. Perhaps one day I'll look on while Michelle changes the newest little Saigusa's diaper and tell Goose, "I found the Knobby-knob!" Perhaps one day we'll finally win that shirt from Star 101.9...and Goose, Michelle, and I can share it like we've always dreamed of. Perhaps one day, maybe, just maybe, Goose will beat me in a deathmatch...yeah right :)

Thus endeth the Ode to Goose. Well, for now. If he reminds me of more of his rip-roaring, harrowing tales of derring-do and grandeur, I'll post them in Part Two. If he tells me the truth, maybe I'll post that, too.

posted by Bolo | 6:17 PM
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