Smeagol is Free! A hermitudinal view of...stuff...

6.30.2006   Linkage Sometimes, I think I have an overactive imagination. Then I look at something like this, and realize at least partially why God never gets bored...it's 'cause my imagination has nothing on His :) Not even I'm geeky enough to truly appreciate this; it's before my time, really. Szrama might, or perhaps Kwong. No, the male Kwong, not the female one! I'm a huge Rick Reilly fan, but this little experiment takes the...beer? Get ready for the Fourth. posted by Bolo | 11:58 PM 0 speakage   Unthinkable! Oh. My. Goodness. The unthinkable has happened. No, Rob Smythe has not gotten a girlfriend. I said the unthinkable, not the unspeakable hope and darkest fear of half the respective female communities of Southern Seminary, Boyce College, and Immanuel Baptist Church. The unthinkable, people, the unthinkable: 'Drew has updated his blog. Wow. posted by Bolo | 3:36 PM 2 speakage   Cedarmore: The End It's Friday, and with it, there enters in a semi-sweet case of melancholy. I'm glad to be back, really I am. But I want to be back there, too. Strange, but I'll never cease to be amazed how just a few days with people can make you really see Jesus in 'em. If those staff folks didn't love Jesus, I wouldn't want to be there. If those kids weren't being saturated with the immeasurable love of Christ, I wouldn't have been convicted to serve the way I was. If the LORD had not been honored and sought the way He was and is, I wouldn't have felt so refreshed to merely sit and soak it all in. Yet all those "if's" are just that: "if's." And now, as I sit here in my room in Fuller Hall, I feel a little sad. A lot sad. I wonder about Josh, who came up to me on Wednesday night and asked me, "How do I get saved?" Yes, that's what he asked me. The Rent-A-Staffer. The guy who was worried he'd hit one too many pressure points on the kid earlier in the day. The dumby who was worried he wasn't doing enough to recruit for his school; instead, he was reminded his first priority is recruiting for the Kingdom. Yeah, that's the question he asked me. I wonder about the guys, and when they'll go raccoon hunting again. Probably tonight. I hope Jones' knee gets better, Mr. Holy Ground takes care of Flipper, and that Daniel gets rid of all that phlegm and gets as much coffee as he wants. I wonder about Dustin, who told me last night he'd surrendered his life to ministry. I see that long, gangly goofball grinning at me, and I hope I see him at Boyce some day. Even more, I just hope I see him; he's a joy to be around, a joy to talk Jesus with. I love the week I had; I wish I could go back and do it all over again. But I can't, and I won't. Instead, I'll sit in my room for a bit, and wonder... posted by Bolo | 3:27 PM 0 speakage   Cedarmore: SlurgeFest '06 See? I told you there was lots and lots of mud. Forget the students, the staff has the most fun! posted by Bolo | 1:36 AM 1 speakage 6.29.2006   Cedarmore: Sluuuuuuurrrrrrge! Oh. My. Goodness. Mud...lots and lots of mud. Pics to follow ;) posted by Bolo | 6:48 PM 0 speakage   Cedarmore: Day 4 It's just after lunch, and we're down to less than 24 hours left on the camp schedule. *Whew*. I'm having a blast, but I'm also ready to get back; in a sense, I wish time would slow down for a little bit so I could spend a few days here and just chill. I don't think life will slow down for me, not in the least. Nor, for that matter, will the schedule here slow down so that I can blog the thoroughfare of thought thrumming through my brain. Oh well. Soon, very soon, I promise. Believe me when I say that I'm anxious to process all of it and get it out. Until then... posted by Bolo | 12:56 PM 0 speakage 6.28.2006   Cedarmore: Visuals Check it out: The Hot Nerd! I told this little one that one day when she's famous, I'll have this as proof that I actually did accomplish something in my life. I don't know what I'll have accomplished, but I figure it'll pass as proof ;) Mr. Brent Gambrell, ladies and gents. Matt Maynard supposedly told him I'm a cool guy, so I've got the great responsibility to live up to that. Nerd. What'd he have to do that for? Burcham's got that look in her eye. I don't know what look that is, but there it be! Grass. Pretty grass! Me and C.B. :) posted by Bolo | 6:11 PM 1 speakage 6.27.2006   Cedarmore: Day 2 I find myself thinking constantly, "Wow, I have the easy job for the summer." The staffers here are on their fourth week of camp, which equates to their fourth set of campers. The ebb and flow has certainly taken its toll; illness and injuries are certainly felt, but even more, I've seen hints and shadows of life continuing in all its painful and lonely certainty. In the midst of it all, I've witnessed a constant spirit of selfless servitude from these crazed staffers. And for the guy who has been monikered "Rent-A-Staff," this portrait of Jesus' heart beats in such a way as to pump vitality and eternal depth into everything I see. I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I have a Lord who does not cease to amaze, a Lord who finds joy in the wondrous complexity of the tiniest molecule, yet is immense enough to paint His creation across countless canvases we call galaxies. I'm glad my Lord is one who is infinitely wiser than I am, who delights in weaning me off the sin of self-reliance, who shows me the sweetness of His patience in teaching me how faithful He is in His love. Like Scott said, it's too good to be true; yet, true it is. That's why they persevere, that's why they keep getting up each morning, pouring out their lives for Jesus. It's not because they have an immense measure of joy welling up in their hearts at every moment. Believe me, I've seen the puffiness of the eye-baggies, the reluctance of their limps; these staffers are very much human and finite. No, what keeps them going is the love their Lord has for them, for us, and the fact that His grace truly is sufficient. He meets them, and they, in turn, keep looking for Him. posted by Bolo | 11:58 PM 0 speakage   Woohoo! I'm cheating. Since I'm at camp, and I know that each and every one of you breathlessly awaits the moment a new post gets uploaded to the Blogger servers, I've decided not to take that pleasure away from you. Therefore, I've already pre-drafted some posts so that at a moment's notice, I can sneak away to Charlotte's laptop and whip up a new post for my adoring fans to enjoy ;) Just don't let it become an idol! Kidding, kidding. Kind of ;) posted by Bolo | 2:40 PM 0 speakage 6.26.2006   Cedarmore: Day 1 Day one at Cedarmore has come and gone, and...well...I'll probably make it to bed soon. Being that it's still before midnight, this is a confession that should not go by silently. I'm tired, but in a good way. There's quite a bit that happened, but seeing that I'd like to get to bed shortly, I'll convey just one short story that I think I'll remember for a long, long, long time. I was sitting in the dining room, eating and chatting with Daniel, one of the guys on staff here. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a group of younger guys doing much the same. My guess is that they were somewhere probably lower classmen in high school, and not necessarily the most popular ones, either. Well, during the course of our respective meals, a young lady, roughly the same age as the guys at the other table, walked by the all-male table and started to converse with one of them. They obviously knew each other, but just as obvious was the fact that she was probably a part of the Pretty Crowd, whereas the guys at that table were not. Well, as she was getting ready to move on, another one of young men chimed in with something, to which she replied with all sweetness and sincerity a young lady of such stature could muster, "Oh yeah, I remember you!" Daniel and I were rolling. I saw his eyes bug out as soon as she turned away, and his cheeks were a bright red. It didn't help, of course, that all of his buddies turned and looked at him like he just got a date with the homecoming queen. Daniel observed that she probably just made his day; I countered with the theory that she probably made his week ;) posted by Bolo | 11:53 PM 0 speakage   Manly Men Quick thought that just hit me: the signup for Immaneul Baptist Church's men's retreat at Red River Gorge has a section that asks for the signee's preferred level of hiking, with easy, medium, and hard being the choices. Granted, I was only the third one to sign up, but both of the guys ahead of me, including myself, put down that we'd like a hard hike. Now, what I'm thinking is that guys being guys, we're probably going to try to tell ourselves we can do the hard hike...and subtly proclaim it to the world. Therefore, that's what we'll put down on paper. One can always wuss out and beg off the hard hike later on, with the proverbial "nagging knee/back/hip/ankle/spleen/eye/halitosis/itchyscratchycondition injury" as a more than adequate excuse. Especially when said nagging injury was acquired on a much manlier hike in one's days as a strapping young man. The reason for this thought? I was just thinking about how I recently was sucking wind all the way up Olomana with Andrew (note that I included him in my wussiness...that's the manly thing to do!), and how we asked each other why in the world we thought a hike was a good idea :) posted by Bolo | 10:02 AM 0 speakage   Wow, Lau Lau! Mr. Lau is evil. posted by Bolo | 4:51 AM 0 speakage 6.25.2006   Yuppety Yup! Random pictures from...oh...the past month or so. Whoa. Has it been that long already? Yeesh. posted by Bolo | 8:16 PM 0 speakage   Senioritis I'm getting old. That sometimes makes me forget things. Such things include the fact that I'm supposed to return a plate to Kendra, that the best time to shave my head is not in the mornings just before church, and that Scott had told me not to tell Emily about our little trip to Dairy Queen for a quart of ice cream. Oops. Busted. I was reminded of this over lunch today at the residence of the aforementioned Mr. and Mrs. O'Neal. Scott told me I'd gotten him in trouble; when I realized the consequence of my little senior moment, I could only laugh. A lot ;) posted by Bolo | 3:45 PM 1 speakage   Old School The Old School block is updated. Click away, if you so desire. posted by Bolo | 12:54 AM 0 speakage 6.24.2006   Linkage Remember when I nearly died last month? Well, it seems that I neglected to mention yet another reason why death's resounding knock was so thunderous. Send email...to yourself...in the future. This kind of reminds me of The Lake House, except...well...not nearly so romantic or convoluted. Wanna get jiggy with the World Cup? Wanna get yo' jig on geek style? Stream the ASCII, baby ;) You'll hate me. I promise, you will. Go ahead. Click away. And tell me how much of your life I've wasted ;) posted by Bolo | 7:08 PM 0 speakage   Word Psalm 96 Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth. Sing to the LORD, bless His name; proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day. Tell of His glory among the nations, His wonderful deeds among all the peoples. For great is the LORD and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the LORD made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before Him, strength and beauty are in His sanctuary. Ascribe to the LORD, O families of the peoples, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory of His name; bring an offering and come into His courts. Worship the LORD in holy attire; tremble before Him, all the earth. Say among the nations, "The LORD reigns; indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved; He will judge the peoples with equity." Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar, and all it contains; let the field exult, and all that is in it, then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy before the LORD, for He is coming, for He is coming to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in His faithfulness. In reading this psalm early (very early) this morning and again later this morning, I smiled at several things. I won't comment on those things, since I want to mull over them for a while in my head. One thing I do want to point out, however, is the last verse, particularly the last portion that says, "He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in His faithfulness." That proclamation is not good news. At least, not for those who know the character of God. From this Psalm alone, we know that God is the one who made the heavens, He is glorious, He is to be feared, and we are to tremble before Him in "holy attire." For people that are undeniably unholy (every single human that I've ever met or seen), this declaration of God's coming judgment cannot be good, nor is it something to make one happy. Why is this? God is righteous, and must be faithful to His holy name. If He were not, and merely looked over sin without judging it, He would be unfaithful, and therefore, would cease to be God. That's absurd, and it won't happen. Yet, that's precisely how absurd it is for us to think that God will gloss over our sin; it just isn't going to happen, because it can't! Why, then, do I read this psalm with joy? The answer is absurd: God killed His own Son on a cross in order to make atonement for the sins that I would have been punished for, then raised Him from death in a glorious victory over sin and death. The righteous and faithful judgment that the psalmist proclaims takes on an entirely new light when one considers this, because now the righteousness spoken of is the righteousness of God's Son that I now claim as my own, and the faithfulness spoken of is the faithfulness that God has to save those whom He clothes in the righteousness of His Son. posted by Bolo | 12:25 PM 0 speakage   I Remembered! I'm talking to my mommy right now. Yup. Be proud of me, all who appropriately chide me for not calling her more often. What's the reason for this boast? In her words, "Well, you're the first." The first of what? Why, the first of her seven children to wish her a happy birthday, of course! I'm cheating, though...it's the 24th of June here, and barely so, but it counts :) posted by Bolo | 12:46 AM 2 speakage 6.23.2006   Baboozes Put the three of us (me, Boss, and Uch) together, and inevitably, we're rolling. Why? We're a bunch of baboozes. Well...I'm a babooze...a big one...and I always seem to do something to make us die laughing. Want evidence? Just watch and listen! The piano in the background is being played by some lady we didn't even know. Kawamura, bless her heart, had to put up with our antics. Then again... posted by Bolo | 11:30 PM 3 speakage   Journaling Along the Journey The following are all excerpts from journal entries. Some are definitely more recent than others, some are so old I thought to myself as I read them, "That really happened?" Wednesday, May 18, 2005 What does the summer hold? What fruit shall I bear to Your glory, Lord? I told Brian the other night that what must be of import is personal, inward holiness, and not merely external cleanliness. Holiness...it befits Your house, O Lord! I overlook that very, very quickly. What does holiness mean? What does a heart that is holy look like? Holy, holy, holy...you are the Holy One of Israel, the one worthy of all glory, honor, and praise. *Sigh*...such words fail, though! My heart is numb, Lord! Your gospel is not burning within me! Where is the desperation that ought to be pouring forth from my heart? Where is the broken and contrite heart of Your beloved ones? Oh Lord, in Your faithfulness, do not forsake me, do not leave me! Help me, heal me, for from You only does my help and salvation come. Saturday, January 1, 2000 Wow, first time I wrote "00" for a date! Tuesday, October 11, 2005 I'm on the way home, flying somewhere over the continent as I write. So much has been going on. Grandpa died Saturday. I'm not sure how I feel about that...sad...happy...uncertain...numb...removed...*sigh*. I don't know. Saturday, I was in the room, praying and reading Scripture, trying to get a right perspective on things. Still, I don't know, ya know? People have been great, and those who've heard have been very caring. *Sigh*...but what of it? Where's my heart? Do I even want to be at home for the right reason? Is my heart in the right place? Am I walking in righteousness? I don't know! *Sigh*... Saturday, January 15, 2000 The shocking part was when Andrew told me that he had started to develop these "feelings" for girls; not necessarily for one girl, but for girls in general. (If he starts acting funny, I'm going to have to shoot him.) We came up with a term for this effect: "Melting," since he's Iceman, and the "ice" toward the opposite sex is melting. I told him that I was both happy and distressed for him. Monday, June 5, 2006 He's married. It's hard to believe, it seems to be all so unreal, but Andrew is married. Wow. It's 1:30 in the morning, and I'm sitting at the table in Grandma Chang's house. It's not sad to me that Andrew isn't here; if anything, I'm happier for the solitude, 'cause that means that he and Sandi really and truly are married. That, more than anything else right now, brings me joy. How many times had we spoken about it? How many times had we pondered what You had in store for us, Lord? Little did either one of us ever suspect that it would be like this. Yet, I daresay that it couldn't have been any more perfect than this. Tuesday, September 2, 2003 Today is Scott's birthday. He's a whole 20 years old...no longer a teenager. I treated him to lunch in the cafeteria; classy stuff :) Thrusday, February 6, 2003 Goose told me last night that he and Michelle are getting married on the 4th of May. That *bleep*. I checked the syllabus, and the day after is the only class day where I don't have a quiz or something. Wednesday, January 12, 2005 It was two years ago today. A flight out of Honolulu, going to LAX, and life would change forever. Nothing would ever be the same, nothing would go back to normal. So much has happened since I first left, so much has changed...how much has been for the better? Lord, I'm still that scared little boy that didn't know if he'd ever come home again. I'm still trying to figure out if I'll belong...ever again. Saturday, January 4, 2002 The days creep by, one by one, and it seems so strange to think that I'm leaving Hawai'i. Home. I know, I know, we are never truly at home until we are with You, Lord, yet I'm still very much in love with what I have here. It's not easy to leave...but I know that I must, no matter how crazy it seems. There's so much to experience, so much to grow through. I feel, like Brian said, that I must step out of the boat and onto the water. I'm scared, Daddy. I don't know what will happen to me, or how I'll handle the things that will occur. So I pray for Your guidance, for Your wisdom, for Your provision. I ask that You flood my heart with Your hope...glorious, beautiful, strengthening hope, that does not succumb to the lies of Satan, but is founded upon Your promises, and upheld by Your sovereign hand. Saturday, August 17, 2002 I remember talking to Kathy Uchida a couple weeks ago, and she said something that's stuck with me...she said I try so hard to understand You, and I get very frustrated when I don't "get it" as fast as I'd like. Maybe another part of Your grace is the slowness, the difficulties, the struggles that come with dealing with myself and learning to accept Your love and grace. Thursday, January 1, 2004 Scott O'Neal. I remember meeting him at the Spring Retreat. That was the start of...wow...such a blessed friendship! I remember praying with him at Focus...it was the first of many such prayer walks. I remember the day he took me home in Caleb's truck, and he asked me to for "a favor," wanting to be able to confide in me. Wow... Tuesday, December 28, 1999 Brian and I are quickly becoming very good friends...we feel as if we can trust each other implicitly. The accountability we have is something I've gone through life without, and I don't want to do that any more. Friday, August 24, 2001 Brian leaves today...I move today...I feel the change of yet another season. Sunday, May 11, 2003 I'm sitting in Pu'unui Park right now...it's somewhere near midnight. In some ways, I wish dawn would never come, so I could just sit here and be with You and not leave again. I love it here. Some nights I'd come and watch the moon rise over the Ko'olau mountain range, wordlessly caught in an agonized awe of what my eyes saw and my soul beheld. Others would find me walking and talking to You, praying for Family, complaining about them, or simply pondering "stuff." Now, as I sit here, I cannot help but yearn for all the days past and all that they mean. I wonder how much I missed, how I could have done things differently. I guess there are all sorts of "what if's" and "woulda, coulda, shoulda's," but I don't think that's where my focus needs to be, is it, Lord? *Sigh*...I'm weak, foolish, arrogant, and wayward. Open my eyes to see what You want me to see, and grant me the grace to trust You as I am unfolded before You. posted by Bolo | 5:10 PM 0 speakage   Bowling Pablizzle: we'll bowl when you get back. My skills may surpass your own, they may not. The latter is far more likely. Thus, it will be competitive. Besides, I'm sure I look Thai enough that bowling with me might just kick in a little nostalgia ;) posted by Bolo | 10:37 AM 1 speakage   I Miss You... Once upon a time, I had a friend. My friend would cuddle with me, play with me, even sometimes sing me to sleep. I miss my friend. Hehehe... Aaaahhhh, those were the days! I always felt like a l33t g33k when I'd have Metallica's Enter Sandman thrumming through those bad boys as I ran through one of Quake II's classic maps...The Edge, Tokay's Towers, The Frag Pipe, Lava Tomb... I still remember how the major weapons were configured in my cfg file (WASD, of course): 3 - Super Shotgun E - Hyperblaster 5 - Chaingun Q - Rocket Launcher R - Railgun T - BFG (But who used that, right?) Man, I really miss gaming like that. It's a good thing I don't play anymore. It'd be bad. Really bad. 'Cause I wouldn't stop 'til I was good again. Why do I bring this up? Because instead of my beloved HD 580's, which were last seen "somewhere" in Mary's house, I now sport the earphones that are pictured here. Believe me, listening to some old Metallica, Jack, Iz, Hapa, or Miles Davis just isn't the same. It's the audiophile in my soul. Trust me, there's no better way to show your ears you love 'em than a pair of these. *Sigh*...Steak Sauce would be immensely proud. posted by Bolo | 9:49 AM 0 speakage 6.22.2006   Up Close and Personal Patrick's great idea was to take all of these absurd pictures of him and me and turn them into a little post. He even came up with the title, seeing that in all the shots, I'm really up close, and he's a little...uhhh...well..."personal." posted by Bolo | 10:05 PM 0 speakage   "It Comes in Quarts?" So. We're in Honeycutt, talking to Chris Shipley, and we'd just been wondering where we were going to go, and what we were going to do. It occurs to me that we should probably do a cone run to procure ice cream of some sort, because it's been pretty much forever since Scott and I have done such a thing. As soon as our conversation with Shipley is over, Scott turns to me and says that we should go to Dairy Queen for ice cream. There's a reason I love Scott O'Neal :) We'd heard from Nathan Fullerton that you can purchase a quart of their ice cream for the same price as one of their single scoop cones (or something like that). We'd heard correctly. *Burp*. posted by Bolo | 6:06 PM 2 speakage   A Little Lovin' The following is an excerpt from a recent journal entry. As such, it is raw in its form, particularly since that which is written into my journal flows forth in a rather fluid and unstructured manner. Paths of thought are left inexplicably untrodden, while others are traversed methodically, if languorously. At least, they are in my mind. Who knows what you'll see as you read... Ephesians 3:14 - 19 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with all power through His spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend together with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. We are "rooted and grounded in love." In love we are predestined (1:4, 5), and because of the great love with which God loved us, even while yet sinners, He made us alive together with Christ (2:4). There is a sense in which God's love, both in type and deminsion, becomes completely "other than." I cannot grasp what causes God to predestine us; in many ways, it seems to be a very cold and arbitrary thing, for I myself do not love that which is not already lovely. But we did not give God any reason to love us, or to have mercy on us. There is no loveliness, nor any worth within us that we should be saved. He gave that which is most precious and lovely to Him to save that which is most unlovely and without worth, worthy of wrath. We are, in our sinful state, unable to truly comprehend and love that which is lovely and loveable, particularly that which is most lovely and most loveable, and infinitely and deservedly so. Therefore, to be rooted and grounded in love is to be essentially and fundamentally changed, but not by ourselves! It is God who has foreknown and orchestrated and carried out this change, having predestined us to be united with Christ. Having been made alive, then, we live as those who are alive. And what does life grant us? For our physical beings are still perishing, and are to be considered in light of our new lives in Christ. Very central to our new lives is the ability to love and love truly, for love outside of Christ, while possibly mirroring or shadowing the greater majesty of God's own perfect and infinite and eternal love that has been and is being communicated to us in Christ with breathtaking intimacy, applied and sealed by the Holy Spirit, is a love that must and will fail. In other words, love that is not from and in and to Christ's glory is not a love worthy of pursuit, for it simply falls short of the free and merciful offer of salvation that brings us into perfect commune with God, He who is infinitely loving and lovely. Part of the change He renders within us is the ability to love even that which is unlovely, for we now love for His sake, that others might be changed to know the love of our great and holy God. posted by Bolo | 11:24 AM 0 speakage   Morning Profundity They had Ethiopian this morning, the second time this week. Whenever Java brews those earthy African beans as their dark roast, I'm a happy little coffee snob. What made the morning cup even better was that Chriyus was sitting across from me, inviting me in that slow-as-syrup Alabama drawl of his to tell him what the Lord's been doing in my heart. I told him about my conversation with Smythe from the day before, how Rob reminded me that God's holiness is our refuge, not our cause for fear, and that reading our bibles or praying more isn't going to save us or make us any more righteous in God's sight. I told the skinny southerner that I've been brought to my knees time and time again when I slow down to consider who God is, how sufficient He is to meet my every need...and also when I realize that my consideration of Him isn't nearly sufficent enough. Even in the midst of a busy summer schedule, I find a hushed restlessness that keeps me thinking about Jesus, one that ignores the phone calls and the supposed need to do "something." When I sit in Seneca Park, with the blades of grass reaching for rays of sunlight that have taken flight from a zillion miles away, I think of how every intricate and wonderful thing around me was conceived by His marvelously intricate and infinitely wonderful mind. When I sit alone at night, I wonder why all the questions in my heart seem to shift and change like the shadows dance on my wall, and why the elusive answers to those fickle questions always bring me back to the promises I have in Jesus. When I open my reluctant and very Asian-slanted eyes to find that God has indeed granted me life and breath for another day, I ponder why someone as irrational and unloving and insignificant as I would be as righteous and loved and precious in God's sight as I am. When I think about it, it doesn't seem that God is teaching me anything new or profound right now; rather, He's showing me how profound are the things He's already taught me...and how I've been missing it. Wow. posted by Bolo | 1:20 AM 0 speakage 6.21.2006   Forgetful Boss has a way with words...so much so, that I, too, forget where I am when I read this. posted by Bolo | 4:22 PM 0 speakage   Take Me Out... I love baseball. I love hard-nosed, get-your-uniform-dirty, don't-step-on-the-foul-lines baseball. I love the gritty dirt you get stuck between your toes from taking several extra buckets of grounders at short, the quick flinches from the guys in the dugout when you cup-check 'em, the nose-wrinkling, skunk-rivaling smells of practice jerseys, and the eager anticipation of breaking in a new glove - just to get it feeling all beat up and soft and wrinkly like the old one your mom made you throw away...but hid under your bed instead. I love the nicknames (my high school had Goat Boy, Toilet Boy, and Ducky, to name a few), the ridiculous stories behind the nicknames (don't ask about mine), the chatter between innings, the unspoken ethics of the game, and a crisp, clean, 6-4-3 inning-ending double play...with the bases loaded. I love watching a catcher strap on his gear like he's strapping on his armor, the understood isolation a starting pitcher gets on gameday, the games of cat and mouse between the infielders and baserunners, and rally caps. *Sigh*...I love baseball. I've got a sneaky feeling that these guys do, too ;) posted by Bolo | 1:52 PM 0 speakage   More Yup Yup! A bunch of these never got tossed up, mostly 'cause I went home shortly after they were taken. But here they are :) By the way, does anyone else remember when Blind Brandon's hair made his head look like a mushroom? posted by Bolo | 9:29 AM 0 speakage Dell Coupons		Daily Coffee Sweet Maria's James Hoffmann Theologous Desiring God Ministries Monergism Discerning Reader Albert Mohler, Jr. Russell Moore 9 Marks Play Jock Think Laugh Foxtrot User Friendly Learn National Geographic Geek out. Again.   Read Paint Prayer Pleasures Commune Galactic Wabbit Great Listen Jack Finished Discover Tones of Fleck Step In the Arms Smashing Thinking Visualize Facebook Albums (Updated 3/21/2007) Blogging Buddies Homeage Gary Uch Boss Kev Goose Mark Rich Sanchez Mon & Dave Leo Barb Brit The 'Villeage O'Neals Jim Hilliard Pablo Butterworth the Younger Nikki Lefty Ashlea Parris Cavies Calvinaugh Weenie & Elizabeth Owen T4G Tim Bob Josh Christman Szrama Ryherd Brandt Hutch FYI FYI TV CMac Maiden Dana Dubya Old School Memories Faith... Wonder... Empty Snaps Manna The Misses Character Me Me Bug Me smeagolisfree@gmail.com AIM: MrToto2U Facebook Yore 03.2003 / 04.2003 / 05.2003 / 06.2003 / 07.2003 / 08.2003 / 09.2003 / 10.2003 / 11.2003 / 12.2003 / 01.2004 / 02.2004 / 03.2004 / 04.2004 / 05.2004 / 06.2004 / 07.2004 / 08.2004 / 09.2004 / 10.2004 / 11.2004 / 12.2004 / 01.2005 / 02.2005 / 03.2005 / 04.2005 / 05.2005 / 06.2005 / 07.2005 / 08.2005 / 09.2005 / 10.2005 / 11.2005 / 12.2005 / 01.2006 / 02.2006 / 03.2006 / 04.2006 / 05.2006 / 06.2006 / 07.2006 / 08.2006 / 09.2006 / 10.2006 / 11.2006 / 12.2006 / 01.2007 / 02.2007 / 03.2007 / 04.2007 / 05.2007 / 06.2007 / 07.2007 / 08.2007 / 09.2007 / 10.2007 / 11.2007 / 12.2007 / 01.2008 / 02.2008 / 03.2008 / 04.2008 / 05.2008 / 06.2008 / 07.2008 / 08.2008 / 09.2008 / 10.2008 / 11.2008 / 12.2008 / 01.2009 / 02.2009 / 03.2009 / 04.2009 / 05.2009 / 06.2009 / 07.2009 / 08.2009 / 09.2009 / Factuality I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've got five nephews and two nieces. Quotatious "I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it." -Ryan Szrama "I'm trying to be regenerate." -Ivy Warriner "Pink is pink. Peach is not pink." -Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband "How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today." -John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate "I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People like that don't deserve to win it." -Michael Butterworth "I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many marriages I go through." -Katie Mohler "However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to you.'" -Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little incident which we do not name "He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety, but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get married for twelve more years?'" -Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father "So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka." -Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming "Ok, he walks loudly." -Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs" "Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas." -Ryan Szrama "I have a way with old women." -Josh Reid "Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It wasn't sweet, it was creepy." -Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't given "I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain." -Katie Mohler "Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped worrying about updating the score list." -Ryan Szrama, commenting on his alma mater's basketball team "What can go wrong on Appreciate a Dragon Day?" -Lori Wanman "Do you enjoy making people feel retarded? You behave like that is your job in life." -Jessica Cimato "Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?" -Peter Sieg "Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests." -Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months of pastoring at IBC have been "If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned marooned Moon." -Michael Jenkins "Can we call you 'Special Dark'?" -Stephen Mobley "Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip." -Me, on how to order water at Starbucks "It's you to an unsanctified T." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It's like a workout, having a conversation with you." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "I shot the French Press..." -Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff "Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!" -Off White "Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!" -Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend "It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in 4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it yet.'" -Catherine Huffman "It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since you took Geometry." -Peter Sieg, to me "You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we both blame your camera." -Catherine Huffman "You're going to die soon, anyway." -Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday "I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver." -Stephen Mobley "It's likely but unlikely." -Ben Hedrick "There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto." -Jessica Vaughn "The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'" -Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh "Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?" -Ben Hedrick "It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?" -Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know what car she drives?" "High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!" -Josh Reid "Man, she's finer than a frog hair!" -Josh Reid "I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'" -Heather Seagle "Where's my phone?" -Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone "Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I don't get kicked." -Me "Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a close call!" -Dana W "I don't want to see this on your blog." -Ryan Fullerton "John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle, here is his frown." -Ben Hedrick "Oh shutup, voicemail person!" -Stephen Mobley " 'P' as in 'purgatory.' " -Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call "You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry." -Stephen Mobley "Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than say, Katie Mohler." -Johanna Tollefson "You just called me a chunker!" -Christin Simpson "We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.' " -Peter Sieg "My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist." -Christin Simpson "How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' " -Christin Simpson "Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how he peed in worship, it confused me." -Katie Mohler "Yes, I'm precious and all that." -Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment "Do you have a numerical number for that?" -Stephen Mobley "I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that." -Peter Sieg "That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it." -Stephen Mobley "Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other non-contiguous U.S. states." -Stephen Mobley "In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time." -Christin Simpson "They never know whether to come out the front or the back." -Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes "I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'." -Andy Lowe "Could you translate that out of Letototian?" -Lauren Farmer "Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles moments lately." -Me "I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking." -Michael Butterworth "She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't big-boned, she was Hispanic." -Ryan Szrama "More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster." -Allison Poplin "Mmm, Chapstick!" -Allison Poplin "It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a headstand in a ditch." -Christin Simpson "The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is admitting I'm a stupid haole." -Christine Robertson "I said 'teached,' man!" -Christin Simpson "I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom." -Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly "Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!" -Thomas Amos "Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple years older.' " -Anonymous "He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!" -Me "Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear." -Dr. Mohler "I've got fans all over." -Lauren Farmer "I'm having my own personal hot flash right now." -Bobby House "Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is actually with a woman!" -Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog "Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of." -Pablo Butterworth "I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the Servant Towel award by taking me or something?" -Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet "I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all." -Christin Simpson "The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate." -Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream "Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!" -Amanda Ledbetter "I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier to understand." -Dr. Joslin, on women "One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active social life, or she's just fat." -Richard B. Hardison "You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly. Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that turns out." -Jon "Jew" Borofsky "Are you dressing Katie Mohler?" -R. Lauren Duncan "They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?" -Andrew "I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches." -Michael Butterworth "I really like the smell of gasoline." -Katie Mohler "You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out and take the elevator." -Bobby House "But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you." -Nick Crouse "Gomez, you're Hispanic?" -Matt Svoboda "'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?" -Lauren Farmer "You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke." -Moon Pie Godfrey "It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!" -Lauren Farmer "I've had the passion, I just need the purity." -Emily Dick "I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right? Letoto's going to be there!'" -Warren Kesselring "I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put on lots of flannel." -Ricky Hardison "You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?" -Sarah Cress "So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones." -Christin Simpson "I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks." -Emily O'Neal "I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time." -Taryn Walker "You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College." -Michael Butterworth "Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white." -Cole Harper "I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'" -Emily Dick "I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have boyish charm." -Jeff Pearson "If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart, it's a bad idea." -David Borreson "Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!" -Chriyus Davis "When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' " -Chriyus Davis "What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here." -Lauren Farmer "I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?" -Andrew, talking about his father's birthday. "What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?" -Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she went to look up what he meant "Stop flashing everyone!" -Carla "I didn't know I was going to see everything!" -Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth "Which would suck!" -Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in heaven...before his marriage "Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?" -Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes "I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a good tree to climb by Mullins." -Michael Butterworth "You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts." -Scott O'Neal "It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger." -Andrew "And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!" -Emily Dick "Is Scott the white-haired guy?" -Brandon Stern "The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I really hope I don't fart." -Kristy White "Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin." -Katy Cavaliere "I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs." -Andrew "Stretch" Holley "And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that." -Scott O'Neal "I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart." -Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo "I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people, why I wasn't married." -Christine Robertson "Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol' woman with a 'fro." -Chriyus Davis "Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think that's romantic." -Lauren Farmer "We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity." -Lauren Farmer "Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense, you may have hit the skin on the head." -Me, to Matt Teves "Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!" -Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning "Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot." -Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat "Who's the brown one?" -Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus "A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say or do is not a world I want to live in." -Michael Butterworth "Abby marches to the beat of her own flute." -Scott O'Neal "I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee." -Jennifer Miller "What's a 'good game'?" -Katie Mohler "Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I used to give myself french manicures with it." -R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper "It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails." -Trey Fuller "How do you think that small?" -Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting "I like to curl up in the bathroom." -Pablo Butterworth "I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's not a universal song, it's in a different language." -R. Lauren Duncan "We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!" -A.D. "I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place." -Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message "Sounds like a bladder control problem." -Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during dorm meeting "Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?" -Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey Cashell "So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward." -R. Lauren Duncan, about...something "Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!" -Boss "When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a different matter altogether." -Scott O'Neal "That's too much chocolate for you!" -Bobby House III "Dude, there's a lot of white people up here." -Kawika, on being in Indiana "This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp." -Sandi, on the sermons at their church "I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male." -Heidi Marlene Johnson "Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know, that ninja look." -Lisa, to me "You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!" -A certain manager at a certain store "He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count. You're right, he is the only guy we've got." -A certain coworker at a certain store. "She's the manliest girl I know." -Christina Thompson "Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're better looking than most of the guys here." -Nathan Fulllerton "Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed kids together." -Scott O'Neal "How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that Uch is off the market." -Goose "It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!" -Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate "I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'" -Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to take over the airsoft world "You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get Government Service out of John." -Goose "Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months." -Goose "Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!" -Boss "How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes." -Jeff Cavanaugh "Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk." -Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk "I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke." -Joel Gasparotto, to me "No. But several kids." -Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?" "I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..." -Me "I think these are unthawed." -Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken "You mean frozen?" -Matt Crawford, in response to Scott "Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!" -Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain Hawaiian "He's the closest thing to Black I got here!" -Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian was the most ethnically similar person at the camp "Nice body!" -Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball "I could take you...to a movie." -Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students present "It's my bladder!" -Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang "John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I." -Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or imagined) I have upon them "At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'" -Me "Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what I wrote up there." -Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger "Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day." -Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania "Did he sound winded?" -Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night... "Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!" -Boss "I don't do that, that would be too unmanly." -Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails "More of an acquired taste than kim chee." -Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music "That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed with Shirley Temples." -Christin Simpson "Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are odd' girl." -Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her blossoming reputation "Hurry, before the smears come out!" -Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall "All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait" -Andrew Strickland, while leading worship "She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her." -Lisa "I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better bed partner now." -R. Lauren Duncan "I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!" -One of the Brownies from Willow "I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!" -Same Brownie "Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!" -Drunk Brownie from Willow "No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher." -Gary "It's probably providential." -Chip Collins "One more wave." -Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air "Well basically..." -James McCray "I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground." -RAM, Jr. "If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing her away from all the decent guys." -Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away "Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome." -Dr. Mohler "Hey! How are you doing?" -Rob Smythe "I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in the bathroom!" -Boss "So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?" -Aaron Filippone "The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me." -Darren Thomas "Hairy in the face and chest?" -Me, in response to Darren "Oh, cuss word!" -Moon Pie "If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize." -Pablo Butterworth "These *are* my dress socks. They're clean." -Goose "Before the throne of God above..." -Jonathan Leeman...singing "I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane." -Michelle "Piss on a biscuit!" -Fritzy "I saw Toto, and he's black!" -R. Lauren Duncan "You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail." -Pablo Butterworth "I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there." -Jordan Cole "Can she have a man?" -Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie "I am irresistible to men..." -Poenie Tree "Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!" -AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite "Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?" -Tyler Ratliff "She shook his butt before she shook his hand!" -Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce "Would you look at that BUTT?" -Pablo Butterworth "It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards." -Pablo Butterworth "He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us, sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives or anything.)" -Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce "Paul, I think we should mate." -Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of Psychiatrist "You're classic, not metro." -Elizabeth Foster "I need ocean." -Me "Oh, I have some!" -R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me "Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two completely different things." -Dr. Draper "The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!" -Chris...something "I hated you when I first met you." -Scott O'Neal "Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..." -Pablo Butterworth "Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going to die teaching and I want to be there for it." -Pablo Butterworth "I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise." -Pablo Butterworth "I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out." -Michael Butterworth "I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive." -Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth "Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How did you become sexy?' " -Pablo Butterworth "Stop vacuuming my crack!" -Chris Sellers "That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any taller..." -Melissa Hermoso "You smell like my mom!" -Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "It's Allure for *men*, people!" -Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!" -Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair "We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down." -Michael Butterworth "I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials." -Billy Reddick "You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder." -Kristina Pelhank, to me "I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen, and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen floor.' " -Pablo Butterworth "You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into trouble, and yours gets you out of it." -Aaron Coffey, to me "The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing." -Michael Butterworth "Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!" -Sarah El-Masri "I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play XBox all night long, baby!" -Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit "Please stalk me at your earliest convienence." -Sarah Cress "There's a two year-old flirting with me!" -Ashlea Davenport "I used to have a neck, then something happened." -Bobby House "Can I buy three blacks from you?" -Pablo Butterworth "Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep." -Chip Collins "You're the ugly girl!" -Candace Boyd "No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!" -Scott O'Neal and me "I grew up with that but in Spanish." -Liz Mejia "One day the three of us will be married!" -R. Lauren Duncan "We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And, he was BIG!" -Matty Teves "Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's right...............the Holy Spirit." -Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something "That's a good length, that's pettable." -R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head "There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size." -Kristy Miller "Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!" -Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball "Mr. Herringbone understands." -Katie Mohler "Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?" -Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by Katie Mohler "Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type in, 'butt,' and you come up." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "The chocolate chip in the cookie." -Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our family "I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk." -Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8 white guys "I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!" -Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere "So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking and it startled me." -Sarah Cress "Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Jane!" -Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan "I went sniffing once." -Katie Mohler "Can you use that in a definition?" -Sarah Cress "Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's shopping again." -R. Lauren Duncan "They had her fork here and I ate it." -R. Lauren Duncan "What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Every outfit you wear is a statement." -Scott O'Neal "Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?" -Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at Southeast Christian Church "He likes to sit in my drawers." -R. Lauren Duncan "It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate." -James Losey, about me "I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!" -Heidi Marlene Johnson "I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus." -Me "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in that order." -Pablo Butterworth "I eat soap for breakfast." -Sarah Cress "I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway." -Rob Smythe "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." -Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects "Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something." -Janal Prybys "More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing." -Pablo Butterworth "I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock." -Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish "This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high." -Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person "Hold me like you used to." -Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated "This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably retarded." -Jessica Cimato "And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash." -Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood "Oh, I love that movie!" -Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson "They have male stores?" -Katie Mohler "She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal." -R. Lauren Duncan "You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook." -Michael Butterworth "Yes, it's my purse." -James Losey "There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has been inflicted with The Terror!" -Kristina Pelhank "You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk away, but for some strange reason, I can't." -Sarah Cress "John gave me a good wedgie." -Pablo Butterworth "I won't say whoooole falsehoods..." -Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok "I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet." -Michael Butterworth "God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love." -Michael Butterworth "This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you." -Rob Smythe "Next year you'll be in the zoo." -Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey "I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up undergrad chicks, too." -Michael Butterworth "I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those blue nasty ones." -R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman, when speaking of it being blue and nasty "Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?" -R. Lauren Duncan "May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much', because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day." -Jessica Cimato "'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly." -R. Lauren Duncan "I have some ligament in the car." -R. Lauren Duncan "I lost it from all the throwing up I did." -R. Lauren Duncan "He's a Filipino knockoff!" -David Brandt, commenting on me "No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!" -Chris Sellers "You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?" -Sarah El-Masri, to me "You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about girls, you're never going to get married." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's older than you." -Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer "She's not the kind of guy you'd go for." -Me "I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow." -Jessica Cimato, to me "From this angle, I can see everything!" -Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt "Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?" -R. Lauren Duncan, to me "If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer." -Pablo Butterworth "You are not going to put that on Facebook!" -Pablo Butterworth "I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts." -Nick Crouse "They're *macadamia* nuts!" -Ryan Travis "Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They charge you nine dollars an hour!" -Brian Buck "Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?" -Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage Hall "Are you ok? I just wet my pants." -R. Lauren Duncan "I just want to marry a pastor." -Blind Brandon