Smeagol is Free! A hermitudinal view of...stuff...

2.29.2008   Murderer! Someone tried to kill Staggy...shameful! posted by Bolo | 11:13 AM 0 speakage   Grrr Morning hurts a lot more when the last thing you saw before you went to bed was a red glow that looked like this: 3:37 posted by Bolo | 9:53 AM 0 speakage   Linguistics Katie Vaughn's response to my wicked ways in online Scrabble? "*&$% #@$% *&%$, leave the *&%$ing e's alone." posted by Bolo | 12:44 AM 2 speakage 2.28.2008   Thoughts Seriously, Shawn, you're leaving? That Mexican is sitting there, staring at me...I think it'll be tasty. Hmmm...food. I feel like David Mead's How Much ought to mean more to me, but I'm just not sure...well...how much. Yes, yes, yes, I know I look like the dude on LOST...haven't you guys ever seen a slanty-eyed guy with a little bit of color in his skin? Lisa sent me a scrapbook of the little rugrats 'cause she figured I would carry it around and show it to people...she was right, I do. I'm not a rebel, Popples, I'm just what I've always been. We need clear Ubercart stickers...Lylie! When someone calls you a jerk with a grin on their face, it's generally a really good thing. Doublevee, Moon Pie, and Fizzgig will soon know what it's like to be woken up by the little rugrats. Getting back into the gym after months of being out of it is a pleasurable pain...emphasis on pain. 'Drew is alive! Timtams? What timtams? For the record, I love hymns. Katie, the act of watching implies that you take action to prevent him from rolling off the bed, not merely watch him roll off the bed. I think the log is up to four, probably five. This crack in my hand reminds me of that infection I had that I opened up with Im's scissors and disinfected with peroxide...after popping out that layer of green slime, of course. My room phone has been sitting there, off the hook, for close to a week now. Well, correction, it's been sitting there, off the hook, and close to a week ago I noticed that it was off the hook. Spring League! Which ones to print...hmmm. Michael Butterworth, you have much in common with Ryan Fullerton in that you'll both be getting your wish soon. Well, maybe. I may not be as cool or as smart or as handsome, but goshdarnit, I know that I've been to more than a Point of Grace concert in my lifetime. Amazing that 'Drew blogged without tech support. That Sidamo was delicious. Yes, Kavin, Uncle Johnny is going to sit on your head and lick your eyeball. Not at the same time, of course. Need to roast. posted by Bolo | 10:43 PM 4 speakage   Coffee Connivery "I'm getting some across the street. Want me to take your mug?" That's Ben's way of telling me he wants me to go and make a press. What a stinker. He knows I can't abide him drinking bad coffee like that. posted by Bolo | 8:56 AM 0 speakage 2.27.2008   Bounding Home When I fly home in April (yes, Cimato, it's really April...but I will be in an airplane at some point on the 14th), I'll be seeing things I haven't seen for well over a year. Yup... posted by Bolo | 10:59 PM 0 speakage   Inquiring Mind "Did you just say your mom's a hairy problem?!?!" -Peter Sieg, asking Stephen Mobley an important question posted by Bolo | 1:29 PM 0 speakage 2.26.2008   Homesick Headline I had one of those homesick moments again today. I sat in Sunergos, sipping on a freshly-pressed cup of Costa Rican Peaberry, and while Aaron pulled some shots for a few customers, I grabbed a travel magazine perched on a nearby table. One word on the cover caught my eye: Hula. Usually, hula is one of those things that is largely misunderstood. The way the masses perceive hula is a microcosm of the way culture in Hawai'i is perceived, both ancient and modern. Surprisingly enough, the haole author seemed to understand that, and this helped to break down my prejudices toward what he wrote. Manu Boyd, Robert Cazimero, Edith Kanaka'ole, and King David Kalākaua, the Merrie Monarch himself, were mentioned in just as disarmingly and respectfully a manner as one might find in Honolulu magazine. Sure, he pluralized words by incorrectly adding an "s", but that was the only complaint I could find through the tears I tried to fight off. I can't help it. He started out by talking about witnessesing a hālau practice in Mānoa Valley, continued by explaining his recently-acquired lesson on the suppression of the Hawaiian language and culture, told of his rare and special experience watching the Merrie Monarch Festival, and concluded by telling about Manu Boyd's hālau filling his pockets with pikake. The smell of pikake alone right now could make me sad for a week. But you know what? I think that haole guy would understand. posted by Bolo | 10:47 PM 2 speakage   Effectual The love of God in Christ can drive a man to his knees, turn stone into flesh, make rivers appear out of deserts, and cause the deliberate execution of an innocent Man a joy to behold. posted by Bolo | 7:56 AM 0 speakage 2.25.2008   Sitting and Stuff Chair! New chair! New office chair! And it's like I am... ...brown :) posted by Bolo | 11:32 AM 0 speakage   Woopsy Daisy Ok. So just now I remembered that I did have Steph's number...it just wasn't handy...in other words, entered into my current cell phone. And so what if I'm glossing over the fact that I could have called any one of our siblings or parents to obtain that series of numbers so significant to Steph? I mean, I can still call her today, right? Me being late for something isn't a happening that she isn't already used to, right? It's not tooooo terrible that I'm a day late in wishing her a happy birthday, right? Oops. posted by Bolo | 8:40 AM 0 speakage 2.24.2008   Hymnal Jesus, Thou Joy of loving hearts, Thou Fount of life, Thou Light of men, From the best bliss that earth imparts, We turn unfilled to Thee again. Thy truth unchanged hath ever stood; Thou savest those that on Thee call; To them that seek Thee Thou art good, To them that find Thee all in all. We taste Thee, O Thou living Bread, And long to feast upon Thee still; We drink of Thee, the Fountainhead, And thirst our souls from Thee to fill. Our restless spirits yearn for Thee, Wherever our changeful lot is cast; Glad when Thy gracious smile we see, Blessed when our faith can hold Thee fast. O Jesus, ever with us stay, Make all our moments calm and bright; Chase the dark night of sin away, Shed over the world Thy holy light. This 12th-century hymn, written by Bernard of Clairvaux, reminds me of many simple truths my soul longs for and must cling to. As I looked up the history behind these wonderful verses, I was struck by something so simple and obvious, yet profound: this hymn is old. If I'd heard of Barnard of Clairvaux before this past week, I can't say that he made much of an impression, as I don't recall hearing his name at all. He's been gone from this earth for some centuries now; when he lived, I doubt he envisioned that some human of varied ethnic descent, living in a country that did not yet exist on a continent that was, in his day, unknown to him and his contemporaries, would research the words to his hymn by means of a mechanism called a "computer" that, in turn, made use of a thing called the "internet." Why do I point out my doubt about Bernard's lack of foresight with a long and complicated run-on sentence? Simply put, his words tell my story...our story. I would urge you to read those verses again. Do you feel, as I often do, unfilled and empty, worn to nothing by the wiles of this world? Do you seek Him, and in seeking Him, find that you fail, yet in failure, are shown by His gracious hand that He is making Himself known as your all in all? Have you tasted of the Bread and Fountain, yet hunger and thirst for more of Him still? Is your spirit restless and yearning, wanting naught but to see His smile so as to know that He still smiles when you cannot in the midst of life's ever-changing course? Do you know what it is like to be blinded by sin, to walk in darkness, and want nothing more than to walk in the light of Christ's presence, with Him near, never ever leaving you? If you do, then I would say that you have far more in common with Bernard of Clairvaux than you would have first thought... ...you have Christ. posted by Bolo | 3:28 PM 0 speakage 2.23.2008   Sliced? Diced? No, Iced While I'm certain that I will never, ever, ever look forward to or enjoy an ice storm, I'm at least somewhat glad that they provide me with something to shoot. posted by Bolo | 11:45 PM 0 speakage 2.22.2008   Geez, Jeesh! The ice storm made the stairs at the back of the apartment just a weeee bit slick. Unfortunately, Jeesh didn't quite remember this. Fortunately, he got off relatively pain-free, but not evidence-free ;) posted by Bolo | 12:06 PM 0 speakage   Double Veed I find it amusing that someone on campus just Googled "Richard Doublevee Hardison". That's hilarious. posted by Bolo | 8:46 AM 0 speakage   Icky Ice February continues on its fickle way, as the 'Ville was hit with a slight ice storm today. Definitely not the sight and sound a tropically-inclined individual naturally takes to, is it? posted by Bolo | 1:57 AM 2 speakage 2.21.2008   Thoughts Yes, Ryan Szrama, I can believe that flights are unavailable from Providence to providence. I think I need to get back that copy of X&Y that Butterworth borrowed from me. Seriously, an electronic cigarette? No, Benjamin J. Hedrick, you may not watch the cow ski on the ice. Nobody actually sings Secret Agent Man in our office...no, they feel the need to sing Secret Asian Man. Maybe the same person who took my copy of X&Y also has JVizzle's Boyce College name tag. The ice is crunchy today, no doubt about it. Daniel Crowther is undoubtedly a Mexican Harry Potter. LUFA, and soon. posted by Bolo | 5:36 PM 1 speakage   Cup of the Morning It's an Ethiopia Organic Yirgacheffe. Roasted on the lighter side, just a couple of minutes past the first crack, this one seems to be exactly what I was expecting -- floral hints, fruit in the background, and mostly citrus at that, carried along by a nice, full body. Yup...tastes like coffee ;) posted by Bolo | 9:05 AM 2 speakage 2.20.2008   Word Luke 7:36 - 50 Now one of the Pharisees was requesting Him to dine with him, and He entered the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. And there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume. Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner." And Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to say to you." And he replied, "Say it, Teacher." "A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they were unable to repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?" Simon answered and said, "I suppose the one whom he forgave more." And He said to him, "You have judged correctly." Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." Then He said to her, "Your sins have been forgiven." Those who were reclining at the table with Him began to say to themselves, "Who is this man who even forgives sins?" And He said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace." posted by Bolo | 9:35 PM 0 speakage 2.19.2008   Varied Viewing posted by Bolo | 11:44 PM 0 speakage   Archived Since I've not gotten out to shoot anything recently, I decided to dig into the archives and pull a few shots out from a day back in November of '06. posted by Bolo | 1:25 AM 0 speakage 2.18.2008   Unlawful There surely must be a law against having the first sip of coffee at only 10:59 AM. posted by Bolo | 10:59 AM 2 speakage   Thoughts Six minutes between first and second crack...in an air-popper...oh yeah! That was a long day of church. No matter what the rest of the college football world says, I'm a Charlie Weis fan, and will be until he makes me believe he can't right this errant ship. "The Eternal Maybe"...came up with that one all by myself, I did. Ok, Katie Mohler helped fertilize. While the volleyball video was long-awaited by the other volleyball junkies, I daresay my return to the court is highly-anticipated, too. Man, April is going to be one busy month. I want to shoot things, really really badly. Liliha Bakery, Gina's, Young's, Rainbow's, Richie's, Boots & Kimo's, Makino Chaya...will bless my dreams from now until April. Douglas and I discussed discus tonight, and I must admit, I want to play now. Second post in a row at 1:36 AM. posted by Bolo | 1:36 AM 0 speakage 2.17.2008   V-Ballin' It Here it is, boys, the long-awaited footage of that day up in Levering Gym. Note two things. First, it's Robby's fault. Second, John-Michael's big head got in the way. posted by Bolo | 1:36 AM 2 speakage 2.16.2008   Quotable "Why do you wind up in circumstances that you feel are going to kill you? Why do you wind up in circumstances that you feel are way beyond what you can handle? Why do you wind up in circumstances that feel tailor-made to crush you right at the weaknesses? Why does God orchestrate the world so that it actually seems like He's kicking us while we're down? This is all done so that you will learn not to rely on yourself, but on One who has ample power: God, who raises the dead. It's all about knowing this power that's at work in the Christian, and God gives it to the Christian the minute they're born again, then literally, He places them in a world that is like a mortar that crushes them until they're weak, until they've learned that His power is made perfect in weakness. That's what He does throughout the Christian life -- He brings trials, He brings tribulations, He brings difficulties. Life is hard, and if your life is not hard, you may not be His son." -Ryan Fullerton, 5.13.07 posted by Bolo | 7:27 PM 3 speakage   Hymnal Jesus, I am resting, resting, In the joy of what Thou art; I am finding out the greatness Of Thy loving heart. Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee, And Thy beauty fills my soul, For by Thy transforming power, Thou hast made me whole. Refrain: Jesus, I am resting, resting, In the joy of what Thou art; I am finding out the greatness Of Thy loving heart. O, how great Thy loving kindness, Vaster, broader than the sea! O, how marvelous Thy goodness, Lavished all on me! Yes, I rest in Thee, Belovèd, Know what wealth of grace is Thine, Know Thy certainty of promise, And have made it mine. Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus, I behold Thee as Thou art, And Thy love, so pure, so changeless, Satisfies my heart; Satisfies its deepest longings, Meets, supplies its every need, Compasseth me round with blessings: Thine is love indeed! Ever lift Thy face upon me As I work and wait for Thee; Resting ’neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus, Earth’s dark shadows flee. Brightness of my Father’s glory, Sunshine of my Father’s face, Keep me ever trusting, resting, Fill me with Thy grace. -Jean Sophia Pigott posted by Bolo | 2:15 AM 0 speakage 2.15.2008   QotM "How amusing that you refer to your coffee beans as though they were a harem of some sort." -Tamara Hedrick posted by Bolo | 10:08 AM 0 speakage 2.14.2008   Cup of the Morning 'Tis a single-origin African in the mug, namely, an organic Sidamo. Ben just got sent to the back to make another press, since the first press is pretty much gone. I'm thinking the next batch is going to be some sort of mystery blend, since he just came out and handed me about ten empty valve bags. Hmmm...one never knows. posted by Bolo | 10:49 AM 0 speakage   Imaged posted by Bolo | 1:16 AM 0 speakage 2.13.2008   Linkage Six bucks for music, five for a book...go now. I felt like Pumba when I took a gander. He's learning to bend, most definitely. You heard it here first: the Na SBTS discount applies again this year! Unless, of course, you heard it from me before this. posted by Bolo | 3:38 PM 0 speakage   FYI IBC's Sandwiches & Shepherding as well as the prayer meeting are both canceled for tonight. posted by Bolo | 10:03 AM 0 speakage   QotM Peter opened the blinds and exclaimed, "Dang, that's some fatty snow!" posted by Bolo | 9:46 AM 0 speakage   Morning Mmm...I think the mornings melt into one another after a while. posted by Bolo | 8:04 AM 0 speakage   Thoughts Two out of three of Lawhead's Pendragon Cycle have been completed, and I must say, I dig it. Does Kev wait until he has to shop to answer my calls? I've roasted up the Mexican...no, not Jeesh. Good grief, my chest still hurts from Saturday. I love how my brother presumes that surfing will be involved with my trip home...I mean, am I that transparent? I type in that I'm laughing, and Cimato can almost hear me. David Mead's Astronaut has to be considered perfect night-roadtrip music. Captain Cannonball it is! Despite his deepest, darkest fears, Mr. Mikami will be corrupted, no doubt about it. Listening to Michael Bublé makes a guy want to fasten on a pair of cuff links, tie up a Windsor, and slip on a pair of split-toe bluchers. I've concluded that I'm a strange, strange creature, and as such, I belong in no other IBC caregroup than that which places me together with the other strange, strange creatures of IBC. posted by Bolo | 12:46 AM 0 speakage 2.12.2008   Word 3 John 4 I have no greater joy than this, than to hear of my children walking in the truth. I thought about this after talking to Boss the other night. I've known Brian for a while now, easily the better part of a decade. Sometimes, it seems like just yesterday we could be found in the brown comfy chairs at Ward, doing what we did best: being John and Brian. We didn't do that yesterday, though, or any other day in recent memory. In fact, I doubt that many, if any, tomorrows will look like that, either. I remember the first time we met...I was Punk. Not a punk, mind you, but Punk. (Those of you who've seen that little video will understand.) Boss was merely Brian to me back then, and not yet the diminutive Filipino friend with whom I would go on to share so much: sessions at Kewalo's, meals at Gina's, and international phone calls spanning continents and oceans. Through it all, I think I've come to realize what a profound influence he can have on my soul. When Boss is happy, I am happy. When Boss is sad, I am sad. This is more than just one of those "BFF" type of declarations; if anything, it's decidedly Christ-centered and selfless. You see, what I realized so long ago is that what makes Boss a guy I'm going to fight with my life for is that no matter what, I've consistently seen one thing in Him: a longing for Jesus. When we conversed the other night, I told him as much. He's brutally honest, but that comes from wanting the truth so desperately. He hates the facades around him, and he longs to see through the things dim the Light. That's why hearing of him walking in the truth is such a joy: with Brian, beholding the truth and savoring it invariably becomes a shameless declaration of joy. posted by Bolo | 6:20 PM 0 speakage   Free Advertisement Mmm...coffee... posted by Bolo | 8:54 AM 0 speakage 2.11.2008   Wonderland posted by Bolo | 11:04 PM 0 speakage   Frightful It's snowing outside, and I'm more than willing to go on record as saying that I'm none too happy about that. Yup. Take that, snow. posted by Bolo | 10:28 PM 0 speakage   Godzilla! posted by Bolo | 12:00 PM 0 speakage 2.10.2008   Hymnal High beyond imagination Is the love of God to man; Far too deep for human reason; Fathom that it never can; Love eternal Richly dwells in Christ the Lamb. Love like Jesus' none can measure, Nor can its dimensions know; 'Tis a boundless, endless river, And its waters freely flow. O ye thirsty, Come and taste its streams below. Jesus loved, and loves for ever; Zion on His heart does dwell; He will never, never, never Leave His church a prey to hell. All is settled And my soul approves it well. Number 582 in Gadsby's Hymns, I've been listening to Red Mountain Church's rendition of these verses for the past week or so. It's caused me to ponder anew the love of God, namely, the love of God given in Christ. Experientially, that love is so strange, so...paradoxical. How so, you ask? Well, think of this: God's love gives life, yet it kills our sinful flesh, even our very desires, whether they be good or bad; God's love often seems to crush us when He actually works to build and strengthen us, desert us when He works to draw us near; God's love, though overwhelmingly infinite in its scope and dimension, is nevertheless beheld and beloved through the lens of life and its minute meanderings. I picture in my head a vast river, one that God bids me to bend and drink of. The command to bend and drink seems to imply that I am to drink the river...all of it. Is it impossible to do? Yes, but that does not mean that I will not still bend and drink. God's love is like that: it is infinite, impossible to swallow in its entirety, yet that does not mean that we are not to drink deeply, continually, unceasingly, for we are still meant to have all of it. posted by Bolo | 10:00 PM 0 speakage 2.09.2008   Because I'm... Late the other night, the residents of Fuller Hall gathered in the basement during the tornado warnings. JV was pretty out of it and was practically drooling in her sleep. I sent a text message to Katie telling her that I was about to take video footage of her sister drooling in her sleep. This was her reply: Why? Because I'm John Letoto :) posted by Bolo | 10:06 AM 0 speakage 2.08.2008   Wisdom Never, ever, ever let Ben Hedrick do auto-detailing on your car. Maybe someone else's car, but never your own. Moooo... posted by Bolo | 11:18 AM 0 speakage   Wonderings and Ponderings If the gospel is better than fiction, why does fiction excite more than the truth? For that matter, why do we treat concrete reality like a quaint, fanciful memory? If the gospel is simple and clear, why is it constantly added-to? Hmmm... posted by Bolo | 10:49 AM 0 speakage 2.07.2008   Ticketed Homebound, baby, homebound! posted by Bolo | 11:44 PM 3 speakage   Uninformed on Uniforms It's just wrong that any red-blooded, testosterone-driven, leg-and-chest-and-pit-and-facial-hair-growing American male should choose a Super Bowl favorite based upon their "outfits." They wear uniforms, Stephen, uniforms! posted by Bolo | 12:19 PM 0 speakage 2.06.2008   Imaginative Imagery I took two shots like this. The lens was fogged over a bit on this, the first one, but I didn't realize it until after I'd already captured the image. The fogging blurred it in spots just enough to make it look like it really was a cold, somewhat foggy day. This image makes me feel like I ought to be able to say something profound, or at the very least, offer up some keen observation or poignant anecdote. Unfortunately, words fail me at the moment... posted by Bolo | 11:43 PM 0 speakage   Thoughts I'd be willing to wager that quite a handful of my friends have been able to legitimately say the phrase "my roommate Rob" at some point in their lives. Fact: it's really hard to sleep if your body itches all over. No, National Signing Day has nothing to do with political sign-holding. I'm officially going on record as claiming the liquid hand-soap stalagmite and stalactite formations in the office bathroom are evidences of clean messiness. Oh yeah, I'm the brown friend! Spring would be nice. Patti Withers is now known as P-Wizzle. Dr. Chippy in the Honolulu Marathon? I'm working on it, folks. posted by Bolo | 3:47 PM 2 speakage   Cup of the Morning Mystery blend...hmmm...I think. Definitely something Ethiopian in here, at the very least. posted by Bolo | 8:43 AM 2 speakage 2.05.2008   Hope "Now hope is a faculty of the soul to look out for mercy." -Thomas Hooker, The Poor Doubting Christian Drawn to Christ Mercy, by its very definition, is to receive or not receive that which we deserve. If this is so, and if Hooker's statement is true, then I find hope to be a most difficult endeavor. I say this because I find within my soul the principle to look toward the consequences of my actions, of my character. If I lie, steal, or lust, then it should follow that I should bear the penalty for such actions. In fact, it would be unseemly of me to act in such a manner and not expect some sort of just retribution to come down upon my wrongful soul. Where, then, is hope? Hope does not turn a blind eye toward justice; if anything, it looks toward justice full in the face, seeking it out, not wavering from one moment to the next. Hope, however, sees that justice has already been paid in full, and having done so, expresses naught but mercy for those who would be otherwise condemned. Hope sees the failing, stumbling actions and character of the sinner as the sweet and savory fruit of the life of a saint united with Christ. Hope is the act whereby mercy is no longer merely theory, but where it is longed-for, where it is looked-for. posted by Bolo | 8:44 PM 0 speakage   Zero From Friday evening until early yesterday afternoon, I had exactly zero cups of coffee. Yes, that's precisely how sick I was...*sigh*. posted by Bolo | 12:28 PM 0 speakage 2.04.2008   I Used To I used to think in Pidgin. I used to read on the bus. I used to tuck my jeans into my socks, wrap a shirt around my head, and pretend I was a ninja. I used to hate coffee. I used to sleep in Mrs. Taniguchi's chemistry class. I used to spike my hair. Yes, I used to have hair. I used to be afraid of the ocean. I used to hate shirts with collars. I used to have a tan through the entire year. I used to read in the rain...ok, still do. I used to be Stick Boy. I used to live on Skyline Drive, where glorious sunsets were a foregone conclusion, not a possibility. I used to call the surf report (808-596-SURF) every day, several times a day. I used to want JAMS really, really badly. I used to wish I could be away from my siblings, then I wished that I could be around them 'cause I missed them, but now I wish that I could be around them 'cause they miss me. I used to know the people who were recorded on the surf report. I used to really, really, really be afraid of dying...now, it's the living that I fear. I used to let my mom take me shopping. I used to plan my weekends around UH baseball games. I used to get sent to the back of the food line in Mr. Saiki's class, just like at home. I used to think life couldn't get better than surfing until sunset and dinner at Gina's...still kind of do, actually...kind of. posted by Bolo | 6:22 PM 2 speakage 2.03.2008   Bleh Bleh Bleh Yes, my dear readership, your favorite blog writer is still sick. posted by Bolo | 7:30 PM 3 speakage 2.02.2008   Observatory There is no way any sane person would like the taste of Theraflu. posted by Bolo | 9:05 PM 0 speakage   Uhhh posted by Bolo | 3:52 AM 0 speakage 2.01.2008   Word Jeremiah 2:11b - 13 "But my people have changed their glory for that which does not profit. Be appalled, O heavens, at this, and shudder, be very desolate," declares the LORD. "For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, to hew for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water." I have several reactions to this passage, all of which I've thought over for the past few days. First, I am inclined to think of the context, both culturally and historically. The day and age of Jeremiah was such that none of his hearers could mistake the jealous claim the LORD was making through His prophet, for no person in his or her right mind would seek to establish a home away from a reliable source of fresh water. Through this analogy, God was making clear that He didn't merely provide the means to live, but that He Himself was (and is) the means to live. This, of course, was nothing new to Israel. In fact, it was precisely their continued willful, stubborn sinfulness that causes God to bring in the heavens to react, for God's chosen people were far too hardened and deadened to see the heinousness of their sin. Second, I am brought to heel by the sheer weightiness of the danger of sin. Here, God is not merely whining like a jilted lover; no, He is making very clear that He has been wronged, and that in this wrong, His people are killing themselves. Sin does not make war upon God in such a fashion as to be able to actually harm or diminish Him in and of Himself. For, though He Himself does not diminish in glory, Man's perception of that glory is greatly impaired by the deadly effects of sin. Third, I find it easy to despair of my own sin when I read this passage. In fact, I distinctly recall feeling downcast upon reading this passage, for it gave yet another reminder of the constant and consistent failure I've felt at trying to live up to honoring God, the very fountain of living waters. I see the cisterns of life all around me, and no matter how hard I try, I see the cracks, I see the breaks, and I know that even if those vessels would hold water, it would only grow stale and bitter before very long. Fourth, I find a glorious glimmer of hope that the LORD speaks of His people forsaking Him, not Him forsaking His people! God often speaks of His anger toward those who forsake Him, yet His anger always purposes to turn wayward sinners back to Him. Even when warning sinners of eternal punishment, He does so with an eye toward repentance! In the midst of reading a passage like this, I can feel great shame over sin. I want to run, I want to hide, I want to cower. Yet, even here, God does not turn away from the sinner. Indeed, He exposes the sinner, shines brightly the gracious light of holiness upon their sin, proclaiming boldly the terrors of their ways. While this may cause the sinful heart to cringe in unwanted attention, is this not gracious? And is it not still more gracious to ponder anew that the One from whom God turned away, the One who became sin on the cross, is the very One whom God sees when He gazes into the heart of those who still struggle with sin, those saints who know what it is to be failing and often falling, yet still repenting and hating sin, hoping in and loving Him? posted by Bolo | 12:28 AM 0 speakage Dell Coupons		Daily Coffee Sweet Maria's James Hoffmann Theologous Desiring God Ministries Monergism Discerning Reader Albert Mohler, Jr. Russell Moore 9 Marks Play Jock Think Laugh Foxtrot User Friendly Learn National Geographic Geek out. 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Empty Snaps Manna The Misses Character Me Me Bug Me smeagolisfree@gmail.com AIM: MrToto2U Facebook Yore 03.2003 / 04.2003 / 05.2003 / 06.2003 / 07.2003 / 08.2003 / 09.2003 / 10.2003 / 11.2003 / 12.2003 / 01.2004 / 02.2004 / 03.2004 / 04.2004 / 05.2004 / 06.2004 / 07.2004 / 08.2004 / 09.2004 / 10.2004 / 11.2004 / 12.2004 / 01.2005 / 02.2005 / 03.2005 / 04.2005 / 05.2005 / 06.2005 / 07.2005 / 08.2005 / 09.2005 / 10.2005 / 11.2005 / 12.2005 / 01.2006 / 02.2006 / 03.2006 / 04.2006 / 05.2006 / 06.2006 / 07.2006 / 08.2006 / 09.2006 / 10.2006 / 11.2006 / 12.2006 / 01.2007 / 02.2007 / 03.2007 / 04.2007 / 05.2007 / 06.2007 / 07.2007 / 08.2007 / 09.2007 / 10.2007 / 11.2007 / 12.2007 / 01.2008 / 02.2008 / 03.2008 / 04.2008 / 05.2008 / 06.2008 / 07.2008 / 08.2008 / 09.2008 / 10.2008 / 11.2008 / 12.2008 / 01.2009 / 02.2009 / 03.2009 / 04.2009 / 05.2009 / 06.2009 / 07.2009 / 08.2009 / 09.2009 / Factuality I've got a brother and five sisters. The irony in that? I've got five nephews and two nieces. Quotatious "I don't know what that means, but because I'm a Mac owner, I do it." -Ryan Szrama "I'm trying to be regenerate." -Ivy Warriner "Pink is pink. Peach is not pink." -Janet McClurg, in response to her color-changing husband "How many dumps did I have to take today? I took a lot of dumps today." -John Michael LaRue, talking about ultimate "I hired a campaign manager to win the Servant Towel award. People like that don't deserve to win it." -Michael Butterworth "I don't think I could quite drop the "Mohler" no matter how many marriages I go through." -Katie Mohler "However, in hindsight, I think it might have been better to have told him in front of John MacArthur, so that dad would just say, 'Grace to you.'" -Katie Mohler, on the spillage of the beanage concerning a little incident which we do not name "He told me, 'Look, we won't be remembering this at your thirtieth wedding anniversary. And yes, I'll be around then. I'll be ninety, but I'll be around.' And I said, 'Are you telling me I won't get married for twelve more years?'" -Katie Mohler, on conversing with her father "So basically, his name is Big Joe Danka." -Aaron Ruszkiewicz, on little Magnus' naming "Ok, he walks loudly." -Katie Mohler, on how exactly her father "runs" "Of course I start to breathe after somebody passed gas." -Ryan Szrama "I have a way with old women." -Josh Reid "Jeesh just told a story about being hit on by an old lady." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It wasn't sweet, it was creepy." -Michael McCollum, on why the Sunergos Sweet 'Stache Discount wasn't given "I'm like a fountain of wit...or the fertilizer of said fountain." -Katie Mohler "Holy crap...we lost 99 - 48 in the season opener? I see they stopped worrying about updating the score list." -Ryan Szrama, commenting on his alma mater's basketball team "What can go wrong on Appreciate a Dragon Day?" -Lori Wanman "Do you enjoy making people feel retarded? You behave like that is your job in life." -Jessica Cimato "Stephen sounds so smart when he's on the phone; what happens when he hangs up?" -Peter Sieg "Well, I've got a lot of Facebook friend requests." -Andy McClurg, responding to an inquiry on how his first three months of pastoring at IBC have been "If you were mooned while you were marooned, you would be a mooned marooned Moon." -Michael Jenkins "Can we call you 'Special Dark'?" -Stephen Mobley "Extra-skinny h2o, half-steam half-ice, no whip." -Me, on how to order water at Starbucks "It's you to an unsanctified T." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "It's like a workout, having a conversation with you." -Adam "Moon Pie" Godfrey "I shot the French Press..." -Ben Hedrick, sung to the tune of I Shot the Sheriff "Hey, thrower thrower thrower...hey, thrower thrower thrower...huck thrower, huck! Huck thrower huck!" -Off White "Well, you're her boss, and she's your...your...your whatever!" -Anonymous, talking to a guy about his girlfriend "It's hard to fill a gas tank on the shoulder of the interstate in 4-inch heels while someone is mocking you with a camera, but that's what happens when you don't think the gas gauge 'really means it yet.'" -Catherine Huffman "It's been a while since I took Geometry. It's been even longer since you took Geometry." -Peter Sieg, to me "You know what else is strange? Looking at a total stranger who looks totally familiar, then comparing life stories only to realize that you are the only common link. It was six degrees of John Letoto, and it was hilariously awkward. I think it's fair to say we both blame your camera." -Catherine Huffman "You're going to die soon, anyway." -Rob Smythe, to Dr. Betts on Dr. Betts' birthday "I'll be away from my desk, invoking a John Maneuver." -Stephen Mobley "It's likely but unlikely." -Ben Hedrick "There are limits on what I will forge for you, Mr. Letoto." -Jessica Vaughn "The three worst words in the English language: 'As a brother.'" -Pablo Butterworth, discussing...well...duh "Well, it's not 'earlier' now, is it?" -Ben Hedrick "It's her boyfriend's car, actually. I'm a creep, aren't I?" -Anonymous male visiting from Hendersonville, when asked, "You know what car she drives?" "High-fructose corn syrup, here I come!" -Josh Reid "Man, she's finer than a frog hair!" -Josh Reid "I forgot 'go' starts with a 'g.'" -Heather Seagle "Where's my phone?" -Christin Simpson, while talking to me...on her phone "Aaahhh, the wisdom five sisters impart...I still get my kicks, but I don't get kicked." -Me "Yup. I get all dressed up to go to the grocery store or City Hall or whatever. It's kinda funny. If I'd done that during seminary I'd probably be married to a preacher-boy right now. Whew! That was a close call!" -Dana W "I don't want to see this on your blog." -Ryan Fullerton "John's a little coffee press, strong and brown. Here is his handle, here is his frown." -Ben Hedrick "Oh shutup, voicemail person!" -Stephen Mobley " 'P' as in 'purgatory.' " -Stephen Mobley, while on a sales call "You didn't make her cry, she chose to cry." -Stephen Mobley "Being older and still single makes you more single...more single than say, Katie Mohler." -Johanna Tollefson "You just called me a chunker!" -Christin Simpson "We're talking about logic and about the law of non-contradiction in Worldviews, and I'm pretty sure there's a law that says, 'If there's food being given away, and Letoto is present, then Letoto is eating.' " -Peter Sieg "My hips don't move; I'm a Baptist." -Christin Simpson "How do you end a call like that? 'Your cow's dead, call the paddywagon.' " -Christin Simpson "Yeah, the pee phrase kept coming out of order...something about how he peed in worship, it confused me." -Katie Mohler "Yes, I'm precious and all that." -Katie Mohler, on paternal emotions mixing with her college enrollment "Do you have a numerical number for that?" -Stephen Mobley "I like how we just had an extended conversation about Ryan's buttocks. Actually, I don't really like that." -Peter Sieg "That's Hawaiian Harassment, and I don't have to stand for it." -Stephen Mobley "Shipping will be extra to Hawai'i, Alaska, or any of the other non-contiguous U.S. states." -Stephen Mobley "In some northern countries, they can use their watches to tell the time." -Christin Simpson "They never know whether to come out the front or the back." -Jackson B. Riddle, on zits forming in his earlobes "I think Letoto needs to start calling Ben, 'Sugar'." -Andy Lowe "Could you translate that out of Letototian?" -Lauren Farmer "Tell me if Taryn's had any reading-books-about-boys-with-muscles moments lately." -Me "I will be back Tuesday, I'm looking forward to my spanking." -Michael Butterworth "She was bigger, so she was able to do stuff. No, she wasn't big-boned, she was Hispanic." -Ryan Szrama "More liquid in your system makes the boogers come out faster." -Allison Poplin "Mmm, Chapstick!" -Allison Poplin "It's like my car was trying to do a yoga pose...my car was doing a headstand in a ditch." -Christin Simpson "The first step is admitting you have a problem; the first step is admitting I'm a stupid haole." -Christine Robertson "I said 'teached,' man!" -Christin Simpson "I'm wondering how lucrative my five-star hotel will be on Mount Doom." -Pablo Butterworth, at the beginning of a game of LotR Monopoly "Oh! I didn't know you could get boils there!" -Thomas Amos "Actually, what I was thinking was, 'I wish Tina Crouse was a couple years older.' " -Anonymous "He's already got a girl. It ain't like she can't see he's fat!" -Me "Yes, Christopher, God will even raise you from the dung of a polar bear." -Dr. Mohler "I've got fans all over." -Lauren Farmer "I'm having my own personal hot flash right now." -Bobby House "Toto - The Kermit analogy fails because in this picture Kermit is actually with a woman!" -Dave Theobald, on why I couldn't be Kermit the Frog "Taryn Walker, Sarah Alliett, and one more big one I can't think of." -Pablo Butterworth "I mean are people thinking it'll up their chances of winning the Servant Towel award by taking me or something?" -Lauren Farmer, on the Spring Banquet "I'm not a liar...I just bend the truth without realizing it, that's all." -Christin Simpson "The mint is just a vehicle for the chocolate." -Emily O'Neal, on mint chocolate-chip ice cream "Oh, my arm pits are sweaty! They're sticky, and I don't like it at all!" -Amanda Ledbetter "I've been married for five years, and I think the gospel's way easier to understand." -Dr. Joslin, on women "One girl, six locations. That means she's either got a really active social life, or she's just fat." -Richard B. Hardison "You know what the worst game to play with my family is? Monopoly. Try getting a whole bunch of Jewish people together and see how that turns out." -Jon "Jew" Borofsky "Are you dressing Katie Mohler?" -R. Lauren Duncan "They asked you if you needed a nudge after they jostled you?" -Andrew "I get my vocabulary words from the President's speeches." -Michael Butterworth "I really like the smell of gasoline." -Katie Mohler "You know what I can't understand? People who come here to work out and take the elevator." -Bobby House "But if there was no Jesus, we would worship you." -Nick Crouse "Gomez, you're Hispanic?" -Matt Svoboda "'Shocking the glutes?' Did I just say something about his butt?" -Lauren Farmer "You know the party's gone south when you start singing Twila Paris on Karaoke." -Moon Pie Godfrey "It smells like armpit, it tastes like armpit, it is so gross!" -Lauren Farmer "I've had the passion, I just need the purity." -Emily Dick "I'm going to get ready and ask my wife, 'Do I look all right? Letoto's going to be there!'" -Warren Kesselring "I wake up each morning and think, 'What would Letoto wear?' and I put on lots of flannel." -Ricky Hardison "You're a collector's item. Why would they want to get rid of you?" -Sarah Cress "So for me, once they're out of the minor stage I can go for the young ones." -Christin Simpson "I pulled an SBTS and used a bunch of your pictures without asking...only it was on our blog, not a magazine. Thanks." -Emily O'Neal "I just wish I would have peed, I wish I would have, just that one time." -Taryn Walker "You and Rev on recruiting trips? I like that tactic; it's going to bring pretty, single girls to Boyce College." -Michael Butterworth "Little-known fact: clean boogers are actually white." -Cole Harper "I keep forgetting your hand is there. I'm like, 'Hello!'" -Emily Dick "I have boyish charm. Just 'cause I'm hairy doesn't mean I don't have boyish charm." -Jeff Pearson "If anyone ever thinks about buying a leather jacket from Wal-Mart, it's a bad idea." -David Borreson "Oh no. I just remembered I didn't flush their toilet this morning!" -Chriyus Davis "When she was pushing, and I saw the head coming out, I thought to myself, 'It'll be a miracle if she ever walks again.' " -Chriyus Davis "What's your type, Hawaiian? 'Cause it could be a while around here." -Lauren Farmer "I was trying to remember: did I forget, or did I never know?" -Andrew, talking about his father's birthday. "What do you mean we're going to be a big bump on the skin?" -Naomi, after Gary told her she was going to grow up warped, and she went to look up what he meant "Stop flashing everyone!" -Carla "I didn't know I was going to see everything!" -Carla, on being in the birthing room during a birth "Which would suck!" -Aaron Montgomery, in reply to my comment about his being in heaven...before his marriage "Have you heard about that new detergent for blacks?" -Alison Ostrander, meaning black clothes "I just realized how incredibly bad it looked that I knew there was a good tree to climb by Mullins." -Michael Butterworth "You know what I want to see you pull off? A jacket with boardshorts." -Scott O'Neal "It seemed like it was something that wasn't widely understood. Or maybe that was just because I was talking to Sean Malinger." -Andrew "And I didn't get stuck out the window, I was trying to see the stars!" -Emily Dick "Is Scott the white-haired guy?" -Brandon Stern "The only thing that's running through my head right now is that I really hope I don't fart." -Kristy White "Ok, I found my date. I call that mannequin." -Katy Cavaliere "I have those socks! But they don't go that high up on my legs." -Andrew "Stretch" Holley "And I wasn't eating ice cream, either. Don't tell her that." -Scott O'Neal "I would love to play with Rob Smythe because I would feel so smart." -Emily O'Neal, on playing Taboo "I had someone ask me, in class, in front of a whole bunch of people, why I wasn't married." -Christine Robertson "Let me rephrase that: A woman with a big ol' 'fro, not a big ol' woman with a 'fro." -Chriyus Davis "Let's talk about you sweating in the shape of a heart. I think that's romantic." -Lauren Farmer "We're sharing lunch now, and this is after your sweaty romantic activity." -Lauren Farmer "Huh...wow...well, it does bring to mind that sermon Dr. York preached toward the beginning of the semester, and in a not-so-abstract sense, you may have hit the skin on the head." -Me, to Matt Teves "Mmmmmmmmm, good morning, David Beckham!" -Kat Foxworth, to a picture on a wall in her hall...every morning "Who needs coffee in the morning when you've got David Beckham to wake you up, right? Just like coffee, he's strong and hot." -Me...to a flustered but nodding Kat "Who's the brown one?" -Emily O'Neal, when looking at a picture and forgetting a certain brown friend was at her family's house in Columbus "A world where John Letoto is embarrassed and doesn't know what to say or do is not a world I want to live in." -Michael Butterworth "Abby marches to the beat of her own flute." -Scott O'Neal "I love ultimate frisbee, it's my favorite of all the games. If I could, I would marry it, and I would be Mrs. Jennifer Frisbee." -Jennifer Miller "What's a 'good game'?" -Katie Mohler "Do you know what I used to do with this stuff when I was little? I used to give myself french manicures with it." -R. Lauren Duncan, while holding up a bottle of Liquid Paper "It's a good thing my kids aren't gonna have tails." -Trey Fuller "How do you think that small?" -Karis Land, when she saw my handwriting "I like to curl up in the bathroom." -Pablo Butterworth "I love the alphabet song, it's a universal song. Well, I guess it's not a universal song, it's in a different language." -R. Lauren Duncan "We're not dumb, we're secretaries at Boyce College!" -A.D. "I'm full and I'm dripping out all over the place." -Dr. Ewart, during a dorm meeting message "Sounds like a bladder control problem." -Heidi Marlene Johnson, in response to Dr. Ewart's statement during dorm meeting "Do girls just walk up to you and give you food?" -Sharon Rivers, while I was munching on some monkey bread from Casey Cashell "So he slept with me. It was kind of awkward." -R. Lauren Duncan, about...something "Dude! When we were talking, she wasn't looking...she was gazing!" -Boss "When it's just people being married, you can kind of dismiss it, but when there are babies growing inside of people...well that's just a different matter altogether." -Scott O'Neal "That's too much chocolate for you!" -Bobby House III "Dude, there's a lot of white people up here." -Kawika, on being in Indiana "This is great, I don't fall asleep here! There's just so much to grasp." -Sandi, on the sermons at their church "I miss you. Especially when I see a badly-dressed male." -Heidi Marlene Johnson "Actually, Kason may be following in your footsteps. Last night he had a thing tied around his head and went to sleep with it. You know, that ninja look." -Lisa, to me "You can't get hurt tonight, you're the only muscle we've got!" -A certain manager at a certain store "He's not the only guy, we have Alex. No, wait, Alex doesn't count. You're right, he is the only guy we've got." -A certain coworker at a certain store. "She's the manliest girl I know." -Christina Thompson "Now this is no knock on Ryan, but you're a much better looking guy than he is, and if he can get a girl, so can you. In fact, you're better looking than most of the guys here." -Nathan Fulllerton "Hey, she's a minority, you can marry her...you can make slanty-eyed kids together." -Scott O'Neal "How's the Letoto fan club going? You must have more fans now that Uch is off the market." -Goose "It was the hottest thing I've ever touched...it was as hot as the sun!" -Robbie Byrd, explaining why he dropped a plate "I just told Goose...the code word for 'gameover'...'Monopoly Man!'" -Me, to Leonard, during a conversation about their new endeavor to take over the airsoft world "You can take the John out of Government Service, but you can't get Government Service out of John." -Goose "Michelle and I have decided to renew your friendship for the next 12 months." -Goose "Use the phlegm, John, use the phlegm!" -Boss "How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes." -Jeff Cavanaugh "Yeah. But you're a sophisticated jerk." -Kev, in response to my telling him that I'm a jerk "I thought about you the other day when I was organizing my shoes. No joke." -Joel Gasparotto, to me "No. But several kids." -Anonymous, in response to the question, "Does...have a love interest?" "I'm glad it's been a year since I stepped into your life and all sorts of craziness ensued. Wait. That didn't sound right..." -Me "I think these are unthawed." -Scott Bidwell, commenting on the uncooked chicken "You mean frozen?" -Matt Crawford, in response to Scott "Is Bert holding up his underwear?!?!?!" -Brent Gambrell, when Bert had washed off in the lake to get the mud out of his...underthings...since the mud was placed there by a certain Hawaiian "He's the closest thing to Black I got here!" -Trent Davis, a Cedarmore camper, commenting on how a certain Hawaiian was the most ethnically similar person at the camp "Nice body!" -Whitney McClain, to an anonymous Cedarmore male camper, after they collided at the volleyball net while going for the ball "I could take you...to a movie." -Another anonymous Cedarmore male camper, to Whitney, after she was explaining her mad basketball skills to the group of students present "It's my bladder!" -Jearf Johnson, when looking at his phone as it rang "John Letoto, you've got more politics than Episode I." -Pablo Butterworth, when discussing with me the possible (and impossible) relationships on campus, and the influence (real or imagined) I have upon them "At the wedding reception, I heard Stephen Curtis Chapman's I Will Be Here being played over the speakers. Typical christian wedding stuff, really. Then I heard the line that goes, 'I will be here, to watch you grow in beauty.' With my warped sense of humor firmly assessing its place in the world, my mind immediately translated that into, 'I will be here, to watch your growing booty...'" -Me "Ok, I think I'm going to go for a walk now. Are you at work? I'm asking you to take a walk with me...I thought I might drop your books off. I was making sure someone would be there if I did. I'm NOT, NOT asking you to take a walk with me. Oh my goodness! I just read what I wrote up there." -Sarah Cress, from a chat log with me over Instant Messenger "Here's what I think. If I'm a man, and my wife's a doctor, I golf every day." -Chriyus Davis, on how Andrew should spend his time in Pennsylvania "Did he sound winded?" -Will, after I got off the phone with Andrew...on a certain night... "Dude, I get paid to dig my nose!" -Boss "I don't do that, that would be too unmanly." -Anonymous Male, said while filing his nails "More of an acquired taste than kim chee." -Will, commenting on his appreciation for Hawaiian music "That's right...I think I should celebrate the day by getting slammed with Shirley Temples." -Christin Simpson "Thanks to you, I'm now known as 'the odds are good but the goods are odd' girl." -Christine Robertson, expressing her gratitude toward me for her blossoming reputation "Hurry, before the smears come out!" -Kason, commenting on his need to get to a bathroom stall "All right everybody, feel flee to crap your hands....wait" -Andrew Strickland, while leading worship "She's perfect! She's just like me; there's nothing wrong with her." -Lisa "I don't think he'll be spending any nights with you. He has a better bed partner now." -R. Lauren Duncan "I stole de baby from de stupid Daikini!" -One of the Brownies from Willow "I stole de baby from you while you were taking a pee-pee!" -Same Brownie "Oooohhh...your eyes...your whiskers...I want to kiss you!" -Drunk Brownie from Willow "No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher." -Gary "It's probably providential." -Chip Collins "One more wave." -Andrew, said while three fingers are held in the air "Well basically..." -James McCray "I wanted to burn the whole thing to the ground." -RAM, Jr. "If she's Princess Leia, you're the rogue scoundrel Han Solo stealing her away from all the decent guys." -Pablo Butterworth, said to me a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away "Young men, wholesome and gay. No, just wholesome." -Dr. Mohler "Hey! How are you doing?" -Rob Smythe "I have two local haole guy roommates who are super tall. I can stand on the bed and they are still taller than me. But at least I fit in the bathroom!" -Boss "So for the girls, there are only the big singles left?" -Aaron Filippone "The girls I'm most attracted to are always a lot like me." -Darren Thomas "Hairy in the face and chest?" -Me, in response to Darren "Oh, cuss word!" -Moon Pie "If you don't realize that Paul Butterworth is singing an 8 minute long karaoke, there's a lot of things you aren't going to realize." -Pablo Butterworth "These *are* my dress socks. They're clean." -Goose "Before the throne of God above..." -Jonathan Leeman...singing "I hope you sit next to a big, fat person on the airplane." -Michelle "Piss on a biscuit!" -Fritzy "I saw Toto, and he's black!" -R. Lauren Duncan "You know one day you're actually going to kill me, and I'll be laughing in heaven as they throw your butt in jail." -Pablo Butterworth "I couldn't have stood out more if I was riding a brontosaurus through there." -Jordan Cole "Can she have a man?" -Me, said to waitress, gesturing toward Poenie "I am irresistible to men..." -Poenie Tree "Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite! Rat has a goosebite!" -AJ, after Goose got a haircut with a nasty ratbite "Are you pouring some kind of cleaner on the floor where he farted?" -Tyler Ratliff "She shook his butt before she shook his hand!" -Me, on a certain young lady here at Boyce "Would you look at that BUTT?" -Pablo Butterworth "It hurt. I begged him to stop. I cried afterwards." -Pablo Butterworth "He speaks and it is as if a writer or poet is speaking to us, sentence fragments and all. He could totally destroy your life and you would love him for doing it. (Not that he goes around destroying lives or anything.)" -Mike Hilliard, speaking about the Token Hawaiian at Boyce "Paul, I think we should mate." -Katy Barnes, to a not so anoymous Boyce male during a game of Psychiatrist "You're classic, not metro." -Elizabeth Foster "I need ocean." -Me "Oh, I have some!" -R. Lauren Duncan, in response to me "Me not saying something and you not writing it down are two completely different things." -Dr. Draper "The entire night I just wanted to jump on those lips!" -Chris...something "I hated you when I first met you." -Scott O'Neal "Barring a lighting strike at the lottery we call, 'New Student Orientation'..." -Pablo Butterworth "Do you know why I'm taking his class? One of these days he's going to die teaching and I want to be there for it." -Pablo Butterworth "I have a man-crush on Tom Cruise." -Pablo Butterworth "I feel like the loose Jenga block that is easy to pull out." -Michael Butterworth "I was childish, foolish even. She makes me feel alive." -Allison Poplin, posing as Michael Butterworth "Hey John. How are you sexy? As in, 'How are you, sexy?' Not, 'How did you become sexy?' " -Pablo Butterworth "Stop vacuuming my crack!" -Chris Sellers "That's a hot outfit...Letoto, if you were any taller..." -Melissa Hermoso "You smell like my mom!" -Fritzy, to Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "It's Allure for *men*, people!" -Banana Republic's favorite Red-Headed Stepchild "Oh Uncle Johnny, I didn't know you could look so handsome!" -Kayla, when looking at my Kindergarten picture...when I had hair "We don't want a lot of Scripture to bog us down." -Michael Butterworth "I would've introduced the front of my boot to his Specials." -Billy Reddick "You remind me of my friend Deanna; she's a female bodybuilder." -Kristina Pelhank, to me "I was taking down the donkey from the Nativity scene in our kitchen, and I thought to myself, 'If I drop the donkey on the floor and it breaks, then I can tell people that I broke my ass on the kitchen floor.' " -Pablo Butterworth "You see, the difference between me and you is my mouth gets me into trouble, and yours gets you out of it." -Aaron Coffey, to me "The Geisha sleep in certain positions so as not to disturb their elaborate hairdos, and that's what I was just doing." -Michael Butterworth "Excuse me, I do NOT have that much cellulite!" -Sarah El-Masri "I don't want to be tied down and have my time consumed by someone there to say, 'I love you,' to and having to hold hands and shop together and eat with and no one to hold and cuddle with. I can play XBox all night long, baby!" -Pablo Butterworth, said with biting sarcastic wit "Please stalk me at your earliest convienence." -Sarah Cress "There's a two year-old flirting with me!" -Ashlea Davenport "I used to have a neck, then something happened." -Bobby House "Can I buy three blacks from you?" -Pablo Butterworth "Finally, I got up and read my bible; I figured that would put me to sleep." -Chip Collins "You're the ugly girl!" -Candace Boyd "No, I don't have a jackhammer or an 18-wheeler, but I bet John Moody does...or at least, John Moody knows someone who does!" -Scott O'Neal and me "I grew up with that but in Spanish." -Liz Mejia "One day the three of us will be married!" -R. Lauren Duncan "We're Portuguese, so we're kinda hairy. But this guy was like a bear! I had to check the filters after he got out of the pool! And, he was BIG!" -Matty Teves "Noses and ears never stop growing; you're in for a treat, Pablo." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "And who brought Taryn Walker to Boyce College? That's right...............the Holy Spirit." -Pablo Butterworth, implying..................something "That's a good length, that's pettable." -R. Lauren Duncan, while petting my head "There's small, there's large, and there's John Letoto Size." -Kristy Miller "Uncle Johnny I love you! I'm licking your eyeball!" -Kason, just after my sister told him that it was time to get ready for bed and that he had to tell his Uncle Johnny "goodnight," but just before he licked the phone so as to pretend to lick my eyeball "Mr. Herringbone understands." -Katie Mohler "Corn?!?!?!?! When did I eat corn?" -Anonymous man in public bathroom, heard by Dr. Rainer, re-told by Katie Mohler "Whenever I want to find you on Facebook, I just do a search and type in, 'butt,' and you come up." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "The chocolate chip in the cookie." -Leonard, in reference to my tan in comparison with the rest of our family "I told Kris I felt like a banana in a bowl of milk." -Leonard, in reference to playing poker in Las Vegas at a table with 8 white guys "I promise, I really did check him out before I started dating him!" -Jewel Graham, on a supposed background spirituality check gone...uhhh...obviously nowhere "So I was typing to you and there was dead silence on the phone and forgot I was on the phone with my mom and she randomly started talking and it startled me." -Sarah Cress "Who's the one whose name begins with a 'J' and ends with an 'N'?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Jane!" -Katie Mohler, in response to R. Lauren Duncan "I went sniffing once." -Katie Mohler "Can you use that in a definition?" -Sarah Cress "Go shopping with him and you'll never be satisfied with another man's shopping again." -R. Lauren Duncan "They had her fork here and I ate it." -R. Lauren Duncan "What's a thesaurus? Is it like a dinosaur?" -R. Lauren Duncan "Every outfit you wear is a statement." -Scott O'Neal "Do you guys have a money-changer in the temple?" -Pablo Butterworth, inquiring as to the whereabouts of an ATM at Southeast Christian Church "He likes to sit in my drawers." -R. Lauren Duncan "It's like the military here, I have to say, 'Yes, sir!' to my roommate." -James Losey, about me "I can't believe you said 'makeout' in front of my mom!" -Heidi Marlene Johnson "I live for embarrassing my friends; that, and Jesus." -Me "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and fill up this water bottle. Not in that order." -Pablo Butterworth "I eat soap for breakfast." -Sarah Cress "I like your hair. It's all going to burn in the end, anyway." -Rob Smythe "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." -Christine Robertson, on Southern Seminary's relational prospects "Puritan Paperbacks? Sounds like a football team or something." -Janal Prybys "More than enough Torneros to go around; that's a good thing." -Pablo Butterworth "I'm a Samaritan; shun me! Just meet me at the well at 3 o'clock." -Dan Mack, who is half-Jewish "This is the first time she's been publicly traded on the Girl Exchange, and her stock has gone sky-high." -Pablo Butterworth, talking about a certain Boyce College...person "Hold me like you used to." -Pablo Butterworth...Boyce male who's never dated "This isn't fair--Prybys only got on your wall of quotes because pretty much anything that proceeds from her mouth is notably retarded." -Jessica Cimato "And afterwards, we're going to play Balderdash." -Brooke Anderson, to Bobby Wood "Oh, I love that movie!" -Bobby Wood, in response to Brooke Anderson "They have male stores?" -Katie Mohler "She looks like...uhhh...some sort of stuffed animal." -R. Lauren Duncan "You're just upset because you can't put that on Facebook." -Michael Butterworth "Yes, it's my purse." -James Losey "There's a stomach virus going around, and every girl on my hall has been inflicted with The Terror!" -Kristina Pelhank "You're like a reality t.v. show...I want to turn the channel and walk away, but for some strange reason, I can't." -Sarah Cress "John gave me a good wedgie." -Pablo Butterworth "I won't say whoooole falsehoods..." -Scott O'Neal, implying that partial falsehoods are ok "I own too many nice ties not to go to the Spring Banquet." -Michael Butterworth "God blessed me with great hair; I'm counting on that to bring me true love." -Michael Butterworth "This song was written for my future wife...which is none of you." -Rob Smythe "Next year you'll be in the zoo." -Josh Mimbs, to Aaron Coffey "I hope I don't get married 'til I'm in grad school so I can pick up undergrad chicks, too." -Michael Butterworth "I have a new vein on my leg. I feel like an old woman...one of those blue nasty ones." -R. Lauren Duncan, who was referring to the vein, not to an old woman, when speaking of it being blue and nasty "Are you even there listening to my pitiful pleas?" -R. Lauren Duncan "May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much', because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day." -Jessica Cimato "'Cause all my good-looking genes can't override someone who's ugly." -R. Lauren Duncan "I have some ligament in the car." -R. Lauren Duncan "I lost it from all the throwing up I did." -R. Lauren Duncan "He's a Filipino knockoff!" -David Brandt, commenting on me "No, I'm just occasionally superficial...but not vain!" -Chris Sellers "You're a rent-a-cop? Can I rent you?" -Sarah El-Masri, to me "You know, if you keep breathing like that when I talk to you about girls, you're never going to get married." -Me, to Pablo Butterworth "I don't sleep with him any more...John, he's older than me, he's older than you." -Pablo Butterworth, in reference to his Zoomer "She's not the kind of guy you'd go for." -Me "I can't explain the honor of having two quotes on your profile. It gives one the sense that they are going to be somebody. Wow." -Jessica Cimato, to me "From this angle, I can see everything!" -Michael Butterworth, commenting on my shirt "Can I suck some of your blood so that I can be a pirate?" -R. Lauren Duncan, to me "If I was bored and had a lot of spare time, I would count how many pictures of Lauren Duncan I had on my computer." -Pablo Butterworth "You are not going to put that on Facebook!" -Pablo Butterworth "I don't feel comfortable with you saying that and wearing those shorts." -Nick Crouse "They're *macadamia* nuts!" -Ryan Travis "Hey, Lance was telling me about this job at the hospital. They charge you nine dollars an hour!" -Brian Buck "Do you think they slimmed your dad down for that picture?" -Ryan Szrama to Katie Mohler, in reference to the portrait in Heritage Hall "Are you ok? I just wet my pants." -R. Lauren Duncan "I just want to marry a pastor." -Blind Brandon