Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Quotes: SWFWDA

Today, we're graced with wise sayings from the ever-sayable Single White Female Who Desires Anonymity (say that five times really quickly after sprinting for a hundred yards...I dare you). She tells us about all sorts of things, not least of which is how user-friendly her iPhone can be. Or not.

"Some compliments are obviously untrue, but that doesn't mean they aren't still given out of some form of kindness. I prefer to accept them regardless of the likelihood that they are true. It is never wise to prove a man wrong when he is trying to say something nice about you, however shaky his reasoning for doing so may be. I mean, I have been told I looked pretty when I knew full well that I looked like a train wreck...but nothing good would have come of trying to coax the guy in question into admitting that I actually did look like a train wreck. It was better for both of us for me to pretend I thought he meant it."

"Do you think I would need a helmet to go into Garden Ridge to buy Christmas lights?"

"If you shake it, it will find restaurants for you. It took me five minutes to learn that...turning it on/off silent took days. Go figure."

"My car is quite literally frozen to my driveway, and has been since Tuesday. At this point, I have given genuine consideration to all manner of idiotic things...including an extension cord and a hair dryer. Of course, the part where I'm left standing in a puddle holding an electrical device with a cord stopped me...but just barely. I'm hoping it will melt today. I am ready for my home incarceration to come to an end. If it doesn't melt today, the neighbors can get out their cameras... I will chisel, blow-dry, salt, scald, and scrape the thing loose through any means necessary."

"You do realize you can't actually watch me make an idiot of myself from several miles away, right? Who are you? Google Earth?"

posted by Bolo | 8:25 AM
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