Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



The best obedience of my hands
Dares not appear before Thy throne
But faith can answer Thy demands
By pleading what my Lord has done

As I listened to the Caedmon's version of this old Isaac Watts hymn tonight, I was brought up a bit short by this verse, thinking, "Okay, fine, I understand that I can't bring my best obedience before God, as only Christ can please Him, but what of my worst obedience? What about the worst manifestations of my indwelling sin? What about that?"

The other night, after the members' meeting, a bunch of us sat around and talked like guys talk when guys are gathered around the most primal of all guy things: fire. One of the things that came up in conversation was the ways we, as believers, can feel as though we've become utterly lost in the pits of despair. We spoke of how sin can be crippling to the soul, and how it can absolutely batter and crush the child of God to the point of seeming no return.

Derek Webb's voice keeps coming on since the song is on repeat. He sings about the cross, about the boast that was once his -- and mine -- and the death of our glory at the cross. As he sings these things, I freely but hesitatingly admit that these truths that once seemed so near, so real, are much further off than I'd like them to be. I know what it's like to feel crippled, and I know without a doubt what it's like to feel the despair of having tasted of the goodness of Christ's lavish feast only to feel unwelcome and forsaken.

posted by Bolo | 1:18 AM
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