Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Questions, Answers

I find myself asking a lot of questions these days. To be clear, this is nothing new, but what is new is the frequency with and circumstances in which I am doing the questioning. I suppose another way of looking at this is to say that I'm reevaluating everything. Questions abound, and they do so without granting quarter: Why did I do what I just did? How am I doing what I'm doing? Why did I do it that way? Why am I prone to doing it this way rather than that way? What are my desires in this? Was I being selfish when I thought that, did this? Am I being selfish now? Where in God's Word do I find a mandate for doing this? How close to the gospel is this teaching? I know that Christ is enough, but how is He enough?

I suppose it's fair to say that I try to see things from different angles, from unique perspectives. Always have, truth be told. A Floridian Friend of mine once asked if I only saw things through the lens of a camera. While the answer to this is a firm "no," I will grant her that I'm constantly itching for new eyes to see life afresh, for a new heart to understand life's pains and joys.

Still, I feel silly for even trying.

I once wrote about knowing my Father. Anyone who's been a Christian for a while, if honest, will speak about the pains and struggles of life in very intimate and personal terms. We know we don't deserve grace, and we know we keep screwing up. The questions keep mounting, and strangely enough, God's answers don't change: My grace is sufficient for you. It is not you who lives, but Christ lives in you. The love with which the Father loves the Son is the love with which the Father loves you. Your hope is an anchor for the soul, being one that is sure, steadfast, and enters within the veil.

In all my questioning, I keep being driven toward the cross of Christ. The irony in this is that I continually feel, the more and more I live, less and less deserving of God's grace. Yet, perhaps because of this growing awareness, I continually become all the more aware of how tightly gripped I am by that very grace. Wow.

posted by Bolo | 11:18 PM
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