Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



Tonight, as I walked from the gym and back across campus toward my room, I realized something: I don't understand why I feel the way I do. In fact, I don't even understand what I'm feeling at the moment.

This sort of feeling is strange. It stirs within me a desires both to ignore and to delve deep and unearth the roots of my emotions. A part of me yearns for answers; another part is afraid of the process, or still more, of what I'll find.

I'm brought to reflect upon the famous decree found in Jeremiah 2, that which lays out the two evils God's people have committed against Him: forsaking Him, the fountain of living waters, and hewing for themselves broken cisterns that can hold no water. I see my soul chasing after vapors, the tiniest tendrils of fleeting moisture, when right before me, indeed, springing up from within me, is a well of water that satisfies like no other can or will. I'm reminded of the cry of the psalmists in Psalm 73, "But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works," and of Psalm 17, "As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness; I will be satisfied with Your likeness when I awake."

Perhaps that stirring within my soul is dissatisfaction. Perhaps it is Christ's Spirit crying out, working to answer His prayers in order that I might be sanctified in the truth of the Word. Hmmm. Perhaps.

posted by Bolo | 10:21 PM
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