Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Time Travels

Sometime in the foggy hours between the dark and the dawn, I did some thinking. I was taken back to four years ago, that time when being here in the 'Ville was new and fresh and unexpected. Scott O'Neal was not yet my Scott O'Neal (or, more importantly, Emily's), Rob Smythe was still an enigmatic slow-talker doing a mission trip in Turkey, and Jim Winn was a guy I was about to head down to Texas with to a little event called OneDay. 'Drew had not yet been kicked out of Canada, Boss was still toiling away at UH, and Kev was up in Seattle. I think.

It was while I traveled back in time in my mind that I realized something: I'm a much different person now than then. Those friends that I now treasure were not so precious to me then, even the ones from home, and the city and school I now know so well were not so beloved in those days now past. I remember feeling horribly alone during my first semester here; waking up in the morning and crying seemed to be constant companions. I can recall wondering, over and over and over again, why God had brought me here. I hated being here, yet couldn't find it in myself to hate God for orchestrating such a grace. Even now, as I reflect upon God's grace and providence in my life, I'm humbled to realize precisely what it takes to bring me to prayer, to bring about change within my stubborn heart.

The LORD does indeed discipline those whom He loves, those whom He has called to salvation for His glory, and He disciplines us with the love of a perfect Father, a Father that will hold back nothing in seeing that we receive from His hand the very best that He could ever give.

As I look forward to the future, even the upcoming weekend that will bring 'Drew, Sandi, Jim, and Tessa back here to the 'Ville, it would be wise for me to reflect with awe upon the kindness of God. I no longer weep in the mornings for missing home (though I still miss it terribly); indeed, I think I would now weep in sorrow over having to leave this place. Now that is a strange thought ;)

posted by Bolo | 1:21 PM
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