Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



For those of you on Facebook, you know what a "poke" is. Or, still more likely, you don't. Even the kind folks at Facebook don't know. Their explanation is as follows: "We have about as much of an idea as you do. We thought it would be fun to make a feature that had no real purpose and to see what happens from there. So mess around with it, because you're not getting an explanation from us."

Be that as it may, my friends on Facebook have faced a long and arduous stretch of "poking"...something that has not stopped for quite some time now. They've made groups in response to my poking, protested in person, protested in cyberspace, and protested in silence. All, I add smirkingly, to no avail. In honor of this, my plagued poking community, I've listed a handful of their quotable quibbles.

"We have been poking each other for who knows how long! I propose a truce..."
-Paul Carr

"Poke. Poke. You owe me a coke."
-Danielle Queener

"You haven't poked me for like 3 days...have you given up?"
-Sarah Baker

"I signed up for Facebook mobile two weeks ago. Last week, while I was home on a break, I kept having to explain why some guy named "Letoto" kept poking me every five minutes my cell received a text message."
-Tyler Easton

"Your lack of pokage has alarmed me, Mr. Letoto. Is everything alright?"
-Danielle Queener

"Here's a birthday poke: POKE!!!!!"
-Anna Tornero

"Happy birthday! And a birthday poke for you."
-Marie Tornero

"Are you staring at your computer waiting for someone to poke you???"
-Sarah Cress

-Danielle Queener

"Poke poke pokeity poke."
-Daniell Queener

"We've all complained about the persistent poking.. but John, I really miss it. I even tried to poke myself yesterday. Even if it had worked, it just wouldn't have been the same."
-Trey Fuller

"Wow - it's been at least two days since you last poked me. I'm in SHOCK!!"
-Christine Robertson (the Odds Are Good But the Goods Are Odd Girl)

"The daily pulse for 5-3-06: 241 SBTS people poked each other yesterday, all of which were done by you, Toto."
-Billy Reddick

-Emerson Davis

"May it not be said of me, 'Methinks she doth protest too much', because really I'm just raising a voice for all of us you choose to mercilessly poke numerous times throughout the day."
-Jessica Cimato

"I do believe I have won...I have had no pokes by Mr. Letoto in over a week...he must be slacking."
-Sarah Baker

-Sarah Cress

"Who won the basketball this year at school? Stop poking me."
-Emerson Davis

"How long does it take you to poke everyone everyday? That's quite a feat."
-Tyler Easton

"I shall never poke back...I will just turn my head and allow you to do it again...from this day forward."
-Corey Wayne McGalliard, at 12:51 PM, April 24th, 2006

"I totally poked you back by accident."
-Corey Wayne McGalliard, at 1:54 PM April 24th, 2006

"How do I join the 'Poked by John Letoto' club? I don't even go to SBTS, and I'm plagued by the Totopokes."
-Jeff Cavanaugh

"You so look like you could be on the cover of GQ magazine..."
-Danielle Queener

Ok, so that had nothing to do with pokes...but that's why you like my blog. Admit it :)

"Seriously Toto, making another account just to poke people? Wow."
-Josh McClure

"Food Thief: Do you live on here? I've poked you back 2 a day for the last 2 days...thats a little obsessive."
-Corey Wayne McGalliard

"I figure, for the times that I DO log in and you have yet to poke me back, we're even. That HAS happened a few times you know. I think maybe you're slacking on the poking, my friend."
-Christine Robertson

"I have been thoroughly disgusted with your lack of poking lately..."
-Danielle Queener

"Toto, do you do anything other than poke people?"
-Josh McClure

"So, question: Every time you sign on facebook, on average how many people are you poked by?"
-Mandy Daugherty

"Hadn't been poked in a while...just wanted to make sure you were still around!"
-Dawn Wishon

"John Letoto! The poking, man! THE POKING!!!"
-Jennifer Wojak

"Whoa! I logged on to facebook unpoked!"
-Jacob Frederick

"Happy birthday to you! In honor of this day, I give you a birthday poke. Enjoy!"
-Anna Tornero

"Hey Pokey."
-Zack Thurman

"Happy birthday my well dressed Hawaiian friend. Get ready, you are getting 27 birthday pokes today."
-Danielle Queener

"Happy Birthday John. I hope a day filled with facebook poking is in your near future."
-Craig Spinks

"That last poke was a happy birthday poke!"
-Ashley Reynolds

"No poke today? What ever will I do with myself?"
-Dawn Wishon

"It's a good thing that facebook poking doesn't leave a mark, because otherwise I would have a lot of bruises to explain."
-Catherine Huffman

"This was the first time I signed on to facebook and didn't get poked...I'll be honest, it kinda ruined my day..."
-Nick Crouse

"John, I notice you have been coming under alot of criticism lately and I just want say I don't mind the poking. In fact, I think it is a sign of affection, so everyone should stop complaining and just poke back, because deep down it just means, 'I love you too.'"
-Michael Butterworth

"I'm poking you 'til you can't poke anymore."
-Sean Havenenr

"I see you have mastered the art of poking. Nice."
-Dawn Wishon

"Dude, I think I'm getting a bruise from all the poking!"
-Elizabeth Mejia

"Oh my goodness...quit with the poking already!"
-Dawn Wishon

"Ha. You really think I will quit poking you one day, don't you? I won't. And you will finish college before me, and will therefore be too busy for facebook....and in that time, I will still be a poor facebook addicted college student who will get the LAST POKE!"
-Sarah Baker

Heh...I'm going to finish college first? At least someone thinks so ;)

"Your name should be John Lepokepoke."
-Jessica Henry

"It's way too late! You need to go to sleep and stop poking me and Emily!"
-Lyndsie Lucas

"See, I am not the only one talking about all the poking!"
-Dawn Wishon

"Look, Letoto. You're poking the wrong guy. I'll never let up. I'll poke you for breakfast. I'll poke you while you're sleeping. My pokes will haunt you're dreams. So I suggest the shenanigans come to an abrupt halt before this goes farther than you want."
-Andrew Holley, who has quit poking back

"John Letoto you know very good and well you poked me first!"
-Candice Morris

"So...I'm sort of determined to win the poking war. I'm just not a quitting kind of girl."
-Lindie Wolf, who sort of quit the poking war

"Missed you while I was taking a break from facebook. Well, I really just missed the poking war."
-Brande Thomas

"And the poking battle has begun..."
-Danielle Queener

"So I'm thinkin' this poking thing is getting out of hand."
-Rachel Ware

"Mr. Letoto, our dear friend, John Cabal...that is, seems not to understand the art and mastery of poking. He has requested that I explain to him the 'rules'. You are the master of this skill, please place your guiding hand on this poor, confused rookie."
-Brande Thomas

"Sire letoto (I won't use my real name for you since it's our own romantic thing). Thank you for your sincere and enlightening explanation of the quote unquote rules. Y did fail to explain what makes your poking not fall into one of the categories (particularly, the no-life poke?), and how does one 'win' the poking game? Or, as I suspect, there is no winning the game? Your attention to these matters is appreciated."
-John Cabal

"Have you fixed your computer to where it automaticly pokes me back! I can't get away from're always poking me!!"
-Brande Thomas

"I think I have a raw spot where you've been poking me!"
-Anna Tornero

"John, you are a POKE-MON! That's the Carribean way to say POKE-MAN."
-Jenna Rivera

"Pinch, poke, you owe me a coke!"
-Rebekah Brown

"Poke, poke, poke, it never gets a weird way, it's like you care."
-Ashley Reynolds

"You will eventually collapse from all the poke-backs you get."
-Michael Butterworth

" poked me twice at the same time...I didn't think that was possible."
-Marie Tornero

"John! must you always poke!? I got you right back."
-Marie Tornero

"It was good meeting my 'poker'-er today...and I didn't think you looked gray at all!"
-Lindsay Swartz

"Stop the poking stop the poking."
-Evan Whiteaker

"I will not stand for all of this poking, you rapscallion."
-Sarah Baker

"I'm pretty sure I outpoked you."
-Sarah Baker

"You will never outpoke me!"
-Sarah Baker

"Weird poker!"
-Lacy Jones

"John, the 6 pokes in one day seems excessive...don't you think? C'mon. I mean really."
-Corey Scott

"I wonder if there is a poke record? If there is I'm sure you hold it. Poke, poke, poke. Thats all you do."
-Corey Scott

"The Poke War has gotten kind of intense today."
-Pablo Butterworth

"This poking thing could go on indefinitely!"
-Lacy Jones

"You dork! You started the poking! Oh, and I worked on your scarf last night. Jerk."
-Emily Dick

"Fine...I will win this poking war, though! I always win!"
-Cherie Rogers

"Hey you...are you done poking me yet?"
-Amber Hallett

"Ok, no more playing poke-her."
-Cherie Rogers

"So exactly how many people are you in a poking war with?"
-Josh McClure

"Stop poking me, fool."
-Corey Scott

"John, can you pleeeassssseee stop poking me!!! I don't like this poking thingy..."
-Roger Dutra

"So we're back to the poking game are we?"
-Charlotte Burcham

"Enough with the poking already!"
-Rebekah Brown

"Ok so I wasn't going to poke you back this time...but I HAD to!"
-Marie Tornero

"You and your's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt, mister."
-Marie Tornero

"You know...I give you permission to stop poking me."
-Jessica Hilbert

"Mr. Letoto, I insist on poking you back because you insist on poking me."
-Veronika Little

"So I think I've determined within my own mind to win this poke fight? War? Whatever it is. I just thought I'd let you know so you could be prepared."
-Charlotte Burcham

"I will win this poke battle. Haha!"
-Kristen Fabrizio

"You are starting to bruise me with your pokes!"
-Kendra Henson

"Are you ever going to stop poking me?"
-Kendra Henson

posted by Bolo | 4:55 PM
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