Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



About this time yesterday, my phone rang. The dorm room phone, that is. The conversation that ensued unstoppered a cornucopia of thought and emotion, most of which I'm still trying to sort through.

One night prior to that call, I'd been browsing around on the web before work, and thought of the hymn I Asked the Lord That I Might Grow by John Newton. I remember Ashlea telling me about it...oh...sometime last semester, and it's been tucked away in my noggin ever since.

Anyhow, Newton's agonized cry unto the Lord seems all the more fitting after yesterday's conversation.

I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.

’Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

posted by Bolo | 7:39 AM
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