Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



My recent thoughts have centered very much on joy, or the need for joy. In my better moods I've ruminated upon the things that bring me happiness; in my lesser ones, I've brooded over the things I think I want for. Yet, to what end? This week, I've continually sifted through the notion that if I'm smiling, I want to be smiling because of Jesus. What's more, if I'm to be smiling because of Jesus, wouldn't it be necessary that I first be gazing at Him, thinking about Him, and communing with Him? Yea, even loving Him?

When I once laughingly told Mike that some of the new students thought I never smiled, his look of disbelief only made me laugh all the more. I loved messing around with the newbies, making them think I was a grouchy old man. (Well, I am, but I'm a grouchy old man that laughs and smiles a lot.) Mike said something about me not smiling being the same as me not breathing.

These days, though, I have to wonder...where'd all the laughter go?

I suppose it's one of those things where, in the midst of looking deeply inside myself, I've beheld a lack of joy in Christ. Or, to put it differently, I'm wondering if I'm feeling the parching effects of Jeremiah 2, having hewn out for myself broken cisterns. If that's the case, then my soul is shriveling in the pathetic trickle of self-reliance, rather than thriving in the surpassing flow of grace in Christ. *Sigh*...such a fool I would be, to be shown this and not turn to drink deeply of that which is freely offered!

posted by Bolo | 12:59 PM
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