Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


T4G: Day 2

In thinking about the conference, I tried to mentally dog-ear some of the things that stuck out or moved me in a particularly special way. I also tried to get a feel for my overall reaction to what was said, how those things were said, and why they were said.

I failed.

Toward the end of the last panel discussion, I realized that I was quite overwhelmed. This sense came not because of a lack of understanding, but rather from a realization that what was being said is far, far, far more immense than my heart and mind are comfortable with. How so? I suppose the best way to describe this somewhat abstract idea is to look at salvation. I may understand truths about God far better now than when I first tasted of the fruits of salvation, but does that mean that I rejoice in Him to a degree in accordance with the increase of that knowledge? Does my heart yearn and have reverence for our great and holy God in an increase that matches the level of theological training that I've had?

In all honesty, no.

My heart is wretched. I see it over and over and over again. What's worse is seeing how cold and callous I am toward my salvation; though I'd never say it, I do live as though it's a right I've now earned. I think this is the spirit of what Paul had in mind when he rebuked the Galatians, asking them, "Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?" In my fallen flesh, I'm very much prone to thinking that my status as one to whom some others might look for spiritual guidance or wisdom is the measuring stick for my spiritual worth.

Oh, how wrong I am!

As we were exhorted today by Dr. Mohler, we have an inner problem that can only be solved by an alien solution. In other words, I am a sinner whose very existence offends a just and holy God, and the only solution to this is one I cannot claim as having originated or sustaining by my own works: the imputed work of Christ.

All of this is to say that much like salvation, the things that have been said over the past couple of days have been wonderful and profitable to behold and be held by, even if they seem far too good for the likes of me. I want to run, for surely I do not belong. I want to hide, for surely my sin is too great. I want to shake my head in denial, for surely I must make myself better before I sit and partake of this wondrous feast for my soul. But no, the grip of God's grace is too good, too sure for my silly and wayward heart. The good news? They are indeed for the likes of me :)

posted by Bolo | 1:37 AM
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