Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



The Boyce College Scandalous Press

At Monday night's Dorm Meeting, the jester-like Micah Landers took away a certain James Losey's crutches. Little did young Landers realize that young Losey would soon swoon under the uncalled-for strain. Upon returning, young Landers saw Miss Katy Barnes hunched over young Losey, pleading with him not to lose consciousness, for fear of him sustaining a concussion from his fall. Young Landers has since been told to issue a letter of apology, and must enact penance by carrying young Losey around for a week.

Over the course of Spring Reading Days, R. Lauren Duncan was said to have acquired several new...things. Three things, actually. Two freckles, and one blue vein. The two freckles have left, but the blue vein has taken on a life of its own. How so? Well, one anonymous Boyce Student confessed to seeing Miss Duncan on the Josephus Bowl earlier this evening, blowing bubbles in an attempt to magic away the offending vein. When confronting her on her seemingly wishful thinking, Miss Duncan cried out, "See, the container says, 'Magic Bubbles'! It'll help, I just know it will!"

One night this week, Michael Butterworth and David Brandt were spotted doing a Hair Off on Carver Hall's third floor. What exactly is a Hair Off, you ask? Well, it supposedly looks much like the Walk Off that is seen in the model industry (think Zoolander), but with hair posing being done instead of runway walking. I know, I know, it sounds shallow, but judge Christopher Wayne Sellers insisted upon its legitimacy. When questioned about the vanity of the contest, his honor replied, "I'm just occasionally superficial, but not vain! The contestants are doing this for the glory of God, after all!"

posted by Bolo | 11:43 PM
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