Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Campus Conduct

The Rules are as follows:

1. No Boyce male is allowed to speak to any Seminary female. To do so is a breach of The Rules, as Seminary women are far and away much, much cooler than Boyce guys.

2. Boyce males, in general, must complain about the Seminary males "Stealing Our Women" at least once a week. Twice a week is better. Thrice a week means you're being molded more and more into the Ray Brun image; congratulations :)

3. Boyce males must embrace a "pack mentality". The more Boyce males that roll together across campus, the more they can intimidate the Solitary Scary Seminary dude into fearing undergrads. Heck yeah.

4. Seminary men must fall into one of two molds. First, the cool guy who steals the Boyce lady right out from under the collective conscience of the Boyce men. This type is identified by his perfected business mohawk, reserved seat with The Cool Crowd in the cafeteria at lunch hour, and chummy conversations that randomly take place with various faculty members in Honeycutt. Second, the scary guy that stalks the Boyce lady at all hours. This type is identified by the inability to look someone in the eye when passing in the hall, their solitary seat in the cafeteria, and the enhanced but rare ability to appear at precisely the moment when the average Boyce lady just so happens to be away from any other Boyce ladies.

5. Seminary women must not speak to any Boyce men. If a Seminary woman is caught speaking to a Boyce man, the Seminary Sisterhood shall gather and reference Leviticus 13:44 - 46: "He is a leprous man, he is unclean. The priest shall surely pronounce him unclean; his infection is on his head. As for the leper who has the infection, his clothes shall be torn, and the hair of his head shall be uncovered, and he shall cover his mustache and cry, 'Unclean! Unclean!' He shall remain unclean all the days during which he has the infection; he is unclean. He shall live alone; his dwelling shall be outside the camp." The other Seminary women will continue to do this until the offending Seminary woman has humbled herself and sworn to not speak to any Boyce male ever again.

6. Boyce women must tell any and all Boyce men the following: "I'm not interested in anything more than friendship with anyone right now; I really want to concentrate on my relationship with the Lord."

7. Boyce women must do the following after telling any and all Boyce men of her relationship status: date one of the cool Seminary guys.

I'm sooo getting in trouble for this post :) Just's not serious!

posted by Bolo | 3:11 PM
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