Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



"What makes you think any of this really has anything to do with you?" My question to Cassie was meant to give focus and sobriety, not to be demeaning; by God's grace, I think it had the appropriate effect. It's one of those questions I have to frequently ask of myself. My humanity seems to have a certain quotient of moronic self-indulgence that must be fulfilled on a regular basis; in short, I think far too much of myself than I ought, both in quality and quanitity.

Let me back up somewhat. Cassie and I were talking about issues that...well...when looked at over and over again, could easily twist the brain into one huge knot of "what if's?" I saw in her pattern of thought one I often see in my own thoughts: "God, what about this? What about that? What if I don't do this right? What if it's not supposed to happen this way? What if...what if...what if..."

When I get myself wrapped up in a slew of "what if's," I have to stop and untangle myself from my foolish thoughts. It's only then that understanding comes upon me like the brightly shining dawn after the dark of night. Such understanding comes in the form of realizing what really matters in this life. So often, people will say, "it's not about me, it's about Jesus." Yeah? Why, then, do our lives scream that it's all about us? Why is it we constantly ask God what job we will have, what careers we are to pursue, what schools we are to go to, whom we are to date and marry, or how He will provide all that?

Such questions show that we're going about things bass ackwards, and that our priorities are way off base. Think about it. What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord...Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect...For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh...For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works in me...For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart...Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted...But the Lord was pleased to crush Him, putting Him to grief...

We try to answer life's questions with the horrendous presumption that our lives are about us. Said differently, we presume that our lives find their importance in ourselves or what we do. Don't deny it, because we do, each and every one of us. That's the first step of sin; that step is called pride. Duh. (Sorry...couldn't resist!) But you know what? As much as we may cry out against blatant and obvious sin, we engage in sin in subtle ways every day when we try to wrest answers out of the Lord, answers that we aren't meant to have until the proper time. *Sigh*...don't we understand? Christ was broken by the will of the Father! Jesus did not wake up one morning and suddenly want to die on a cross; that's absurd! It was the Father's good pleasure to crush Him, to make Him a propitiation for our sin! And how did Christ look upon it? He joyfully obeyed! In the same way, Christ commands us to take up our crosses and follow Him. We are to die to ourselves, and in doing so, be Christ to the world.

*Sigh*'s a tough perspective to gain. The struggles we go through make us more and more aware of our own pain; still, if we seek the Lord and listen, I think what we begin to realize is that the pain is but a lens through which we see the glory of the Lord more clearly. It is in beholding the Lord that we become more like Him, and gain fellowship with Him in His sufferings. Our struggles and pains, therefore, are a grace that brings us closer to the Lord. Our doubts serve to make stronger the conviction that the Lord is indeed the Creator and Savior, our Great Shepherd and Provider.

In a sense, my question to Cassie wasn't so much to her as it was to me. I've felt the rough embrace of the cross as of late, and it's hard not to try and run from it. Yet, to remember the glorious purpose of the cross of Christ is to embrace the cross I take up daily. Such an embrace brings me closer in conformity to my Lord, and that's what all this is really about, isn't it?

posted by Bolo | 1:10 AM
0 speakage
Free Hit
Dell Coupons
Blogging Buddies
Old School
Bug Me