Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Mild Melancholy

The break is fully upon me, and it has come bearing the full brunt of its melancholy mood. You'd think I would be used to it. You'd think, after living with myself for twenty-five plus years, that I'd be a little more aware of how I respond to extended forced solitude.


I told Jewel that it always sneaks up on me. No matter how much I try to convince myself that the solitude is exactly what I need in order to bring restoration and renewal to my run-down self, I always seem to forget that I need more than just solitude, more than just one on one time with the Lord. In essence, I need community, I need fellowship.

Dang. No man is an island.

On the flipside of that, I also told her not to worry, that I'd be fine. Once I realize why I'm being a little cantankerous, the Lord is always faithful to pull me out of my melancholy mood. Such is the case now :)

Over the years, there have been just a handful of my friends who know me well, and know the process I always go through. Jon would always ask me, "are you funky?" "Funky" was the term he'd use to describe my jaunts upon the melancholy side of the fence; he knew my moods well, and was patient with me. Occasionally, he'd remind me what Amy would ask him when he'd be going through his own funkiness: "So Jon, are we just not going to have any fun tonight?!?!?!" When your wife makes a statement like that, it's pretty clear you've got to get over your funk quickly, lest you find yourself in an even bigger funk...The Doghouse. Jon's point was well taken, and it's always encouraging to look back upon some of my funkier days and realize that the Lord's grown me in handling my moods. Brian and Andrew would just sit and listen to my sporadic rants and tell everyone else that I really was fine, and that the world was not ending just because I wasn't talking much. Goose and Michelle would chide me until they succeeded in getting me to agree on spending the evening engaging in some questionable calling Star 101.9 until we got on the air and won one of their T-shirts from whatever contest they were running. We never did win a T-shirt :/ Oh well...

posted by Bolo | 1:33 AM
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