Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Different? Not Really

Yeah, it is strange. Brian graduated yesterday. Sometime early this morning, we pondered the ever-consuming, post-graduation question together: "What now?" He said he doesn't feel any different, yet he realizes that much has suddenly changed. True, it's just another marker on the journey. Still, it's a huge one.

As I think about it now, I'm somewhat flummoxed about the whole ordeal. Why's that? I think it's because I'm trying to look at Brian's predicament in light of not only what I would do if I were in his shoes, but also what I will do when graduation eventually comes my way...eventually being the very operative term here ;)

The big deal about Boyce College is that we're supposedly all "called to The Ministry." I say supposedly because I'm being honest, not because I'm pessimistic. Those of us who've been around long enough have seen fellow students come and go with enough regularity to realize that not all are truly "called," and in all seriousness, there are probably far more amongst us that will "fail" than will "succeed," even from those who do graduate. With that in mind, I always find it to be a rather humorous situation when I'm asked how I know I'm supposed to be at Boyce if I don't yet know what ministry I'm called to. When I shrug my shoulders, smile my charming smile, take a breath deep enough to explain the deepest meanings of the universe, and say with a twinkle in my rather Asian eyes, "I don't know," I love to see the shocked and apalled expressions on people's faces. Don't get me wrong; some individuals are far more grounded than that, and don't even bother being silly enough to question the validity of my presence on this campus. But for those who aren't, for those who think that God tells everyone exactly what their lives are going to look like from the moment they receive The Call, I usually feel something else after I get over my amusement. For them, I feel pity.

Why pity? It's simple, really. What seems like so long ago, but was really just over two years ago now, I was coming to a true crisis of faith. I had told the Lord for so very long that He could send me anywhere, anytime, and I would go. And you know what? The Lord held me to that. The only thing was, he didn't send me anywhere.

He sent me to Nowhere.

He sent me to Kentucky.

Dang. Do you know what kind of looks I got when I told people I was going to Kentucky? Do you know how many wanted to lock me up when I said that I wouldn't be transferring up here with the Department of Defense, and that I was...*gasp*...unemployed?

I think what quieted the rabid protestation from the proverbial Peanut Gallery back at home was the fact that I had an insane peace about me, the type of peace that Paul speaks of in Philippians 4. It did indeed guard my heart and my mind, and it does to this day. The fact that I'm here at Boyce? It's one I find ludicrous. I still question my sanity daily. But the fact that I know this is where God wants me? It makes me smile, and it brings me joy. I know that the Lord has His purpose in having me here, and I know that He'll lead me in the right direction when I finally do shake Dr. Mohler's hand and touch that diploma. Finally being the very operative term here ;)

So the question as to what Brian's future holds? I don't know. Nor does he. That's not the important thing, though. The Lord will lead him, and I'll cheer him on and be there with him on whatever path he must journey. It's simple when we realize that...and beautiful :)

posted by Bolo | 11:40 PM
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