Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


11.08.2004  

The Weekend

What a weekend. *Sigh*...Lord, is life really supposed to be like this? Yes, yes it is...I know that...it makes the cross that much sweeter to gaze upon.



I have so many people to be grateful for. Andrew, Boss, Scott, Jim, Leeman, Jon, Kev, Goose, Cassie, Lauren, Emily, Pablo, Jenn, Jan, Keith, Chip, Mon, Malia, Mom, Bailey, Kristin, Chriyus, Brandon, Rob, Detroit, Jared, Ruszkiewicz, Brooke, Lindsey...whoa. That's a pretty hefty list. They all saw my hurt in some way and helped me to begin the healing process.



Friday truly was the best and worst of times. It hurt the most on Friday...it hurt a lot on Friday. Cassie and Lauren went shopping with me that afternoon at The Summit. That made me much happier for a while. As Scott put it, "good! Go shop, feel some clothes, be the Gay Friend for a while." Not really a gay friend, mind you, but the Gay Friend...oh, nevermind. The two young ladies listened to me sigh and reminisce and watched my lower lip tremble while I shed some tears; Lauren said, "that's the saddest story I've ever heard." Later on, Scott and Pablo and Emily joined me and the other ladies at my place. We (Cassie and Lauren, really...I just pulled out the stoneware) baked some cookies to go with the ice cream and coffee we had while we watched Sleepless in Seattle. I objected to the movie at some points, but at least I did so humorously :)



Saturday, I woke up praying out loud. I asked God, "why does it have to hurt so much!?!?!?!" I then called Jim...he sounded so sad for me...it almost made me even more sad, if that was possible. It was so strange for us to be cordial, because Tennessee and Notre Dame were playing each other. Yet when I called him later that evening, he said, "if it were any other day, and if it were any other team beating UT, I would be upset. But because it's today, and because it's Notre Dame, I really am happy that we lost." Wow. Now that's love. I also talked to Jenn on Saturday. I haven't talked to her in...oh....I think somewhere around two years? Seriously. Since before I left to come here. I mean, we've communicated, but not talked. Jenn's a good friend...we've known one another since we were Freshmen in high school, I think. It was good to talk to an old friend again. I needed one.



Yesterday was better. *Sigh*...I was able to focus somewhat. I led a small group in the high school Sunday School, and I also got to pray for Joe before he got baptized. When I talked to Boss last night, I told him that yesterday's worship service was one of the sweetest one's I'd ever had at my church. That went right in line with what he reminded me of: God's using this to cause me to worship Him more, to see His love more, to experience His love more. I love Brian Cabreros...it's because I see and experience God's love through him.



Now, reality hits. I still have that Church History research paper due tomorrow...just like it's been due tomorrow for a long, long time ;) I've got my thesis formulating, and I've become somewhat familiar with my research material, so the outline will soon be set and I'll be off and running. After my nap, that is...

posted by Bolo | 7:38 AM
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