Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


10.20.2004  

Teacher

I first remember meeting Gary when I was...oh...barely thirteen? It was November of '92...so yeah, I was thirteen. My first impression of Gary is pretty fuzzy in my mind right now, probably because it's been so long since I've thought about Gary along the lines of that first impression. Chinese Geek. Nerd. Not just any nerd, but one of those nerds who watched Star Trek 'cause he thought it was cool. Yeah, one of those nerds.



As I got to know Gary over the years, I realized the Card-Carrying Geek/Nerd exterior was just that, an exterior. In a way, it wasn't so much me getting to know Gary as much as it was Gary getting to know me. In fact, it probably was more like Gary learned how to put up with me :) He was a solid presence on Sunday mornings, always doing whatever he could to serve, always prompt and reliable. Though he would (and still does) remember every single person who came through our church's doors for the first decade or so of our existence, that isn't what I think of when I think of Gary.



When I truly want to think of my defining Gary Lau memory, I have to go back to the Spring of 2000. Gary had taken a bunch of us under his wing and was taking us through Dr. Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology. Our group consisted of a bunch of young bucks...we were all in our early twenties back then, or close to it...me, Andrew, Jeff, Carla, Jenn, Aya, Amber...was Renee in there, too? Perhaps, but I don't remember right now. Shame on me :) Anyway, on with the story. We would meet each week at the Lau household, furiously trying to study on the way over while realizing the futility and idiocy of our undisciplined lifestyles had led to our conundrums. Andrew and I now laugh at the perceived difficulty of our weekly reading and memorization assignments, wondering how in the world Gary ever put up with us :) We'd eat dinner together, then gather to go over the material for the week. We'd be randomly quizzed, boys versus girls, and since the girls had Carla, always the studious one in the group, we boys felt we had to concentrate the brunt of our prayer efforts against her memory.



I think God smiled at our prayers and said, "next!"



Our group was planning a retreat to the Big Island that May (I think it was May...pretty sure it was.) It was during the planning stages before the trip that we all got one of the most important lessons Gary would ever teach us. Our church had a prayer retreat at the local YMCA in Kane'ohe, and Pastor Mark gathered those of us there from the group during the free time that first night. He proceeded to tell us of Gary's decision, after seeking the Lord through counsel and prayer, to pull back from his ministerial duties for the next season of life in order to heal from some things that had gone on. I remember feeling crushed. Gary's teaching meant more to me than what Grudem's book offered. Gary would smile at us as we struggled through doctrine, wrestling in our own fledgling ways with what God was really saying about Himself in His Word. He would chide us and correct us when we needed it, yet in a heartbeat he would stop a lesson and have us pray together if he sense the Lord leading in that direction. Gary was great at seizing hold of teachable moments. Gary not teach us? I was crushed.



In so many ways, though, that was Gary's biggest and best lesson. He showed me what it truly meant to walk in godliness. When push came to shove, Gary made the choice to submit to the authority of the Church and the counsel of his pastor and honor the Lord rather than give in to his own desires. He embraced what he at first perhaps didn't want in order to walk in faithful obedience to the Lord. I remember thinking as Pastor Mark told us of Gary's decision that Gary was doing the right thing, that he was doing what he needed to do. I remember thinking that I needed to remember Gary's actions and learn from them; that was to be the most important lesson Gary would ever teach me.



One thing that lesson did was it gave me a lense through which I could look at the rest of Gary's life. All of his actions, from the time I had met him, were now brought into stark relief; I saw why he did what he did, why he did what he did in the manner he did it, and how he did what he did. I saw the Lord proclaiming His own name throughout Gary's life, from the very beginning of our friendship to the present. I see that Gary's pulling back from ministry was not something that foolish to him, for he saw the Lord in it the whole way. I see that his teaching of that fledgling group of young Christians was a joy and a privilege for him, because he saw past our inept study habits and into the young men and women of God that we were being molded into. I see that his battle with cancer over the past year has been one of tender submission to the Father despite the seemingly endless tears and pain. Through it all, Gary is still teaching me. I tell that to him whenever I can, but it's not enough. When I think of Gary Lau, I think of a teacher...my teacher. Yet, the reason Gary's so effective in his teaching is that he himself is teachable. His heart cannot help but show that to his students, and if they're smart, they'll realize that his teachings hold water precisely because Gary cares so much about what he's learned and what he's teaching.



I do miss Gary. I miss eating with him...I miss talking to him. It's hard for him to talk right now, but I understand. I miss hearing his laugh, always hearty and genuine. I miss hearing him call me on Sunday mornings and leaving a voicemail, just to tell me that I was late for service yet again, and that he looked forward to seeing me. I miss having him sit both Andrew and me down, both of us with issues on our minds. I think it blesses him to look at our lives now...that's what makes missing him bearable. He knows I'm where I need to be, and he loves that I'm where he'd love to be. *Sigh*...yes, Gary's the teacher, one I listen to. But do you know why I listen to Gary? I listen to Gary because he listens to the Lord.

posted by Bolo | 10:13 PM
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