Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Growing Pains

The other night, Kev asked me about being at a church where there's a difference in theology between you and the pastoral staff. He had prefaced his question by saying that his query would be rather light and simple.


Kevin's questions for me are never light. Never. Even the question, "so...any girls?" holds far more implication and meaning than meets the eye. Coming from him, a simple pebble could set an entire mountain to avalanche.

But I digress. As I pondered the question and he shared the background behind his predicament, I realized something important: I've grown. I notice it particularly in my conversations with old friends like Kevin, Brian, Jon and Andrew because of the difference in the ways I'll respond and the things I'll say. Mind you, I say that not to boast, because I'd almost prefer that I didn't realize it, but I say that because the realization comes with a deep responsibility not only to continue to press on, but to use that growth in a righteous manner.

When I think about going back home in the futures both near and far, and I'm beset with joy and fear. Joy for the simple thought of seeing those I love, fear for the weight of the burdens I think I must bear. *Sigh*...I know, I know, those supposed "burdens" are not truly mine, they're Christ's. Yet, I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the the immensity of them: my church back home, my family, and my friends. I still see myself as the little boy with so many weaknesses and not enough strengths. I keep hearing Chris (Chriyus) Davis telling me, "Johnny, I jist wanna be faiythfuhl!" As do I, Chris, as do I.

*Sigh*...if I remain faithful to the Lord, I'll have no fears to fear of. I have a Great High Priest who is mindful of my frailty and my failures, and who knows my weaknesses. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. He will not snuff me out when my light is dim, nor will He fail to call out to me, the sheep of His pasture.

So yes, I have grown. But what does that mean? It means God has a purpose, a purpose that will put me on a path whose end I do not see. Kev has grown, too. I say that because he's defending his God the way He ought to be defended: with his heart caring about what we say and do in light of who God is, and acting upon the convictions within his heart. And if that means that Kevin must be that little pebble, so be it; he's grown to pebble-size.

posted by Bolo | 3:45 PM
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