Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...



Chip told me I could wear "whatever I wanted." Being that the interview for the Boyce Student Ambassador position would be in front of a panel of four, three of whom I knew fairly decently, I decided I'd be a nice Pseudo-Southern Baptist boy and wear a suit. With a lime green shirt. A lime green aloha shirt, that is :) I figured there was no use in conforming to the supposed norms of this institution, 'cause everyone and their monkey wears a suit and tie for interviews, and everyone and their monkeys all like everyone else and their monkeys wearing suits and ties.

The interview went well, by the way :)

It's sunny outside today...somewhere around 70-something, and beautiful enough to make me long for home even more. I don't know why, but home has been on my mind a lot lately. I told someone today (in email) that words don't suffice when it comes to conveying how deeply I ache to be at home...I think only my tears even begin to do it justice. A lot of people have asked me either I'd gone home over Spring Reading Days, or if I'm going to go home at all during the summer. (Dr. Draper just told me he'll be there for part of May and June...I'm happy for him!) It's not a question that makes me at all bitter, but it is one that conjures up longing...deep, passionate longing.

I think of all the people I'd give my left you-know-what to see. My family...I'd hug my dad, ask my mom for food, play catch with Kyle, pepper a volleyball with Mary or Kawika, hold down Kason and threaten to lick his eyeball, or go eat with Leo. Friends...Andrew and Brian...Matt, Dean, KC, and the rest of the Starbucks crew...*sigh*...too many to mention, really. All the places I remember in my mind make me smile...I think of the countless times I've been to those places, never really thinking that one day I'd be sitting several thousand miles away, just wishing for a chance to be back. Pu'unui Park, Kewalo's, Lanikai, Blowhole, Kapi'olani Park, Kaka'ako, the drive over the H3 or many memories, so far away.

I told the interview panel yesterday that one of the reasons I wanted to become an Ambassador was because Scott Davis (head of the Admissions department) asked me to apply. The main reason, though, was because I realized that I love being here. The thing is, though, it does get on my nerves somewhat that I'm the only person from Hawai'i at Boyce. Sure, there are a few military brats, but no Kama'aina. I hate that, I really do...but not for the reason you might expect.

You see, I think of all the people at home that I think would benefit greatly from being here, and I think of how big a step it would be for them to come. I think of all the things that Boyce has to offer, and I think of all the things that those same people desire (or I desire it for them) what Boyce has offer, but simply don't know it, or won't consider it because both parties seem to be mutually exclusive. In other words, nobody from Hawai'i is coming to Boyce 'cause it's too stinkin' far away to even hear about or consider. Not to mention, it's too easy to stay in Hawai'i and just go on with life.

I told the panel that I do believe in what Boyce stands for, what God is doing here, and the fact that the Ambassadors help promote that. I also told them that it wouldn't matter to me whether or not I had an official capacity, I'd still do all I could to give an open and honest promotion of the school, simply because that's where my heart is at.

Being that tomorrow is Good Friday, it's only fitting that my thoughts turn toward Jesus and the Cross of Christ. I keep thinking about the song, "How Deep the Father's Love" and that line that goes, "How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns His face away..." The Father turns His face away. I think of someone "turning away" from me...someone dear to me...and think of them not only leaving my life, but pouring out their anger, their hatred, and "turning away." What if my mom hated me? What if Andrew or Brian suddenly decided they could not bear to look at me, because I'd become so wretched to them? What if I saw myself as God saw me before Christ, in all my horrible, sinful nature? Yeah...I wouldn't be able to take it. I can't even fathom such a thought, because it's so far beyond my comprehension. Yet, the Father turned away from the Son.

You know, it's such a humdrum, everyday thought for many of us that God has given His Son to die upon the cross. I'm not a parent, so I can't fully appreciate this, but how would a parent feel if his or her son or daughter were killed? What if they, as the parent, were the one who needed to do the killing? Christians often hear about the parallels between the stories of Abraham and Isaac and the crucifixion, but for us it only gives us a vague idea of the real pain that God has inflicted upon Himself. The God of the universe, who from eternity has existed as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, enjoyed infinite and perfect pleasure in one another, far sweeter and deeper than any earthly parent and child could ever know. Yet God broke that for us. The Father turned His face away.

That's a deep love, indeed.

posted by Bolo | 9:30 AM
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