Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


4.16.2004  

Desperate

Aaahhh...Heath, bless his merry soul, bought me breakfast this morning from the school cafeteria. Waffles and sausages...it'll be good fuel for two-man volleyball in a couple hours :)



The word for the day is desperate. Mind you, when I say desperate, I mean it in a good sense. Often, with single male students at Boyce, desperate is a word that is used to describe their social status. That kind of desperate definitely does not fall within the scope of my usage this morning.



J.I. Packer said this of the Puritans: "They sought to expose the sinfulness that underlies sins, and convince men of their own utter corruption and inability to improve themselves in God's sight. This, they held, was a vital part of the work of a gospel preacher; for the index of the soundness of a man's faith in Christ is the genuineness of the self-despair from which it springs." (italics mine)



Being desperate, or the state of being moved by despair, is precisely what I wish I could say of myself this morning. I get so caught up in life that I do not look at God with awe, and I hate that. I think back to OneDay...or to New Attitude...or to various times of intense focus upon God's nature. When I think back, I see how reverentially I looked upon the Lord at those times, and I wonder where the reverence has gone...I wonder where the despair has gone. Is God allowing me to go through times where it's not easy to be in awe of Him? Is He showing me how easily I fall into pride and foolishness? Is He making me realize how utterly weak I am, and how prone I am to forget that? Perhaps...yes, perhaps He's doing that.



Actually, come to think of it, breakfast with Heath was Second Breakfast...I already had some fruit at home this morning :)

posted by Bolo | 11:30 AM
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