Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


Spring Chicken Soup and Sandwich Isles

I really should be studying right now. Obviously, I'm not :) But there's a bunch of random thoughts in my head today, some deep, some not so deep, I'll allow myself a bit of...expression. Here, as follows, is but part of the strange stuff leaking from my head this afternoon.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror in the morning, I scare myself. It's kind of like going out on the proverbial First Date, going to the bathroom, realizing your fly has been down the entire time, and feeling the impending doom of your First Date also becoming Last Date. My tan (or lack thereof) on the other hand, can at least be fixed...or so I keep telling myself. Spring just won't come soon enough...*sigh*...

Why is it that I feel so...well...helpless? Listening to people tell me that they feel numb...unable to weep...unable to's made me wish all the more that I could take away their hurts. It's made me wish all the more that I could be the one with their hurts. At the very least, it's made me wish all the more that I could understand their hurts...because I can't...and I wish I could.

On a related note, Leeman told me that's why it's so important to teach and preach the sovereignty of God to people before they are put into situations of suffering. People don't find God's sovereign grace nearly so sweet as when they've already been rejoicing in it. Job was able to do so, perhaps because he'd already found joy in God's sovereignty. Do you find joy in God? Do you find joy in suffering? Do you find joy in God's suffering? We're supposed to. God does.

Life here has become much more comfortable. By comfortable, I mean I find myself belonging here, and not feeling like some Elf caught in a mine with Dwarves (sorry...Tolkien Geekdom surfaced just then). The flipside, of course, is that my comfort can be dangerous. Perhaps that's why there's so much pain that I've heard of...maybe what God is doing is keeping me aware of my frailties, of my inability to handle pain. Perphaps He's preparing me for when I must suffer in the same way others are. Oh, that I might be counted worthy to suffer!

posted by Bolo | 4:18 PM
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