Smeagol is Free!
A hermitudinal view of...stuff...


6.16.2003  

As of late, there's been a lot of pondering going on in my foggy noggin, with much of that pondering focusing on my fears. Not the kind of fears that you get when you stay up way too late watching X-Files reruns and there's nobody else at home. Those kinds of fears are silly and, if I may say so, deserved. Of course, that doesn't mean that I wasn't up late last night watching an old episode of X-Files, all the while feeling the need to turn around every few minutes and make sure nobody was behind me. Anyway, back to the "real" fears. Those fears that nibble at the edges of our souls and make us angry and irritable for no particular reason, those are the ones that have caused me to wonder if I'm really going in the right direction. To be perfectly honest, I've wondered if "the right direction" even matters, 'cause if I'm just slipping backwards, it won't even matter whether or not I'm on the right path, 'cause I'm not going where I need to, you know? Gah! All this wondering leads me to crawl inside of myself during some quiet moment of the day, when no one else is there, and hope that the silence itself won't be deafening. It is at that point, when the fears begin to overwhelm with their jeering, that the seeds of hope, watered by my tears, begin to take root and bloom once more. *Sigh*...bit by joyful bit...

posted by Bolo | 5:18 PM
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